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A Pamphlet for our
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beloved Lobbyists
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pander to our lobyists
ASOT
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NOT FOR THE GENERAL PUBLICS EYES
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NOT FOR THE
delenillum zzril deleni. GENERAL PUBLICS EYES
 Dear Lobbyists,
As Seen on TV truly understands the
needs of our lobbyists. We understand that you
have money and we need money. The goal of
this pamphlet is to truly explain how in need of
money we are. We will support or be against
any legislation that you, our beloved financers,
wish. We recommend you get on board earlier
as our legislation is for sale on a first come first
serve basis. The prices that follow on the next
few pages of this pamphlet are recommended
prices but paying more is highly encouraged. We
would like to thank our lobbyists again for mak-
ing our campaign successful and we swear you
will be buying a high quality candidate!
Price for purchasing our candi- As you can tell our morals are not
dates: too great, but at least we are honest
Billy Mays:
about it. You scratch our back and
$50,000,000 and ten trips to
exotic vacations. Miscellane- we’ll scratch yours! Together we can
ous gifts are also expected make this a better world for the elite
Backscratcher:
few. Tomorrow brings a new day
$25,000,000 plus all the elabo-
rate and expensive parties he for earning money. The thing that
could ever wish for. He would we love more than anything else.
also like to find an assistant
ASOT believes that America isn’t a
that rubs backs for him.
Vince Shomi (Shamwow) country with people but a country
$15,000,000 direct deposit to that has people to spend money on
his account in the Bahamas.
our products. Remember, we under-
Snuggie Dog
A lobbyists best friend! Re- stand that America’s lobbyists speak
cently discounted price of for America’s people. Thank you for
$8,500,000 your ‘no-strings-attached’ donations!
Tony Horton & Tony Little
They have the endurance to
push your legislation through!
They operate per bill at a rate
of $750,000 to $5,000,000 de-
pending on the bill.
ASOT
NOT FOR THE GENERAL PUBLICS EYES