Extracted

from:
Learning to write: Error analysis applied
Carmen Valero Garcs, Guzmn Mancho Bars,
Carmen Flys Junquera, Esperanza Cerd Redondo

II Writing effective texts

This section is designed to give you some basic definitions, strategies and
techniques in order to help you write more effective paragraphs and essays.
Writing is a learned behavior, and as all are, culturally mediated. Therefore, a
native English audience will have several expectations about written texts that
may differ significantly from the expectations of a Spanish audience. The section
hopes to explain concisely the textual organization and patterns of development
that are predominant in English academic writing so that you can analyze the
student texts included later and improve them accordingly. Note that in the book
we refer to "academic" or formal writing, which is clearly different from
journalistic, business, commercial or creative writing. Although the section is
very brief and undoubtedly fails to cover all the aspects of clear and effective
writing, it will help you with some of the basic notions and help you to ask the
appropriate questions about other texts and your own in order to achieve
greater clarity and effectiveness in your own writing.

A. Writing a good paragraph

A paragraph consists of a series of sentences which develop one main idea. A
good body paragraph should be unified, complete, ordered and coherent. This
means that the whole paragraph should be about the same main idea. That idea
needs to be supported with examples or illustrations. The paragraph should now
in a logical order and there should be a smooth and logical transition from one
sentence to another.

In order to write a good paragraph, here are some practical hints.

Firstly, begin your paragraph with a topic sentence. A topic sentence should be a
statement of opinion or intent, never a fact. The subject should be narrow
enough to discuss in one paragraph; if it is too general, there will be no focus or
controlling idea. It should only contain one or two controlling ideas. That is,
besides the general subject, there should be a main idea and perhaps an adjective
or complement. For example: "Alcala de Henares is a beautiful city." The subject
is Alcala de Henares and the controlling idea is beautiful city. All the sentences
you write after should support that controlling idea; in other words, all of them
should illustrate through examples or descriptions the beauty of the city. No
other subject, such as location or population should be included. These factors
are irrelevant to the controlling idea of beauty. Using a topic sentence at the
beginning helps keep you focused and ensures the unity of the paragraph. After
you write each sentence, ask yourself if it supports the controlling idea; if it is
about beauty, in this case.

Secondly, your paragraph should be complete. It is impossible to say everything

about an idea, but the objective is to give enough support to convince the reader
that there is a basis to your opinion. A good technique is to read the topic
sentence and then ask yourself some questions about it, such as How? Why?
Where? and so forth. In this case, we would probably ask, "Why is Alcala
beautiful?" Give the reader enough examples to show that there are indeed
reasons for saying that it is beautiful. The basic techniques of support are
examples, facts, statistics, physical description and personal experience. By using
two or three of these, whichever suits your topic best, you will have enough
support. In this case, either describing several of Alcala's buildings or parks, or
listing some examples of well-known monuments should be enough support. Try
to answer all the obvious questions the reader might have asked and that will
make it complete enough.

Thirdly, a paragraph should be ordered. Having a logical order makes your
paragraph easier to read and understand. For example, you can start with a
general idea and then illustrate your point with specific examples. Or start with a
question and then provide the answers. If you are numbering the characteristics
of something, use the same order of development as when you first enunciated
them. In this introduction, we have always maintained the same order for the
four characteristics of a good body paragraph. Check their order in the
enunciation in the first paragraph and in the conclusion and then in each
paragraph that develops them. The basic orders arc general-to-particular (or
viceversa), wide-to-narrow (or viceversa), top-to-bottom (or viceversa),
question-to-answer, and cause-to-effect. Imagine you are a camera and follow a
progressive movement and direction, whether physical or logical, rather than
jump around making your reader dizzy.

Fourthly, your paragraph should be coherent. Coherent sentences stick together
smoothly and flow naturally. If your paragraph is well written and coherent, you
should be able to mix up all the sentences and someone else would be able to
reconstruct it in the original order. You can achieve coherency by using cohesive
devices such as logical transitions, innersentence connectors, parallel structures,
pronouns that clearly refer to the antecedent, repetition of key words, synonyms
or words from the same semantic field. In this introduction, we have used
numerical transitions to highlight the four main requirements of a good
paragraph. They are written in italics for you to notice. Also the first sentence of
the second, third and fourth paragraphs have a parallel sentence structure for
the same purpose. If we are writing about the beauty of Alcala, we should use
synonyms for beauty, harmony, refer several times to monuments or historic
buildings and so forth to remind the reader that our controlling idea is that of
beauty. If we are going to list monuments, then numerical transitions will help. In
other cases, logical transitions are essential.

And finally, your paragraph should always have a concluding sentence to signal
that the main idea is finished and the next paragraph will develop a new main
idea. The concluding sentence should either restate the idea of the topic sentence
using other words, sum up the points of support, give a logical consequence,
point out how the reader might use the knowledge provided, predict the

outcome of a situation, or provide a solution to the problem. In this case, we

might want to repeat that Alcala is attractive or suggest that the reader come to
visit and enjoy the city.

There are other kinds of special paragraphs that do not follow these rules, such
as introductory paragraphs, concluding paragraphs or transitional ones, but
most body (content) paragraphs follow these principles. If you follow these hints
and techniques you will easily achieve clear and well-structured paragraphs that
are unified, complete, ordered and coherent.

B. Writing a good essay

Once you have mastered writing a good body paragraph, you should move on to
essays. An essay follows similar rules as a paragraph, but everything is further
developed. If the topic sentence gives us the main idea of the paragraph, a thesis
statement will announce the main idea of the essay. Since an essay is longer, the
thesis statement will contain more controlling ideas. In an essay, these are called
secondary ideas. The minimum essay usually has four or five paragraphs: that is,
an introduction and three body paragraphs, each developing a secondary idea of
the thesis. The' topic sentence of each one of those paragraphs will be the
secondary idea that is going to be developed. The introduction is meant to
announce the subject and catch the reader's attention. It usually ends with the
thesis statement. Good introductory techniques include giving background
information needed to understand the subject, or a rhetorical question or a
quote to attract attention. An anecdote can also be used to spark the reader's
interest. The conclusion can either be added to the last body paragraph, or, if
more complete, it could constitute its own paragraph. The concluding techniques
are the same as explained for the paragraph, but in an essay the conclusion is
usually longer than one sentence.

Most essays are either informative or persuasive. In the first case, the subject can
be reporting information or explaining a concept; in other words, relaying
information to the reader. In the second, the essay is argumentative; that is, it
presents a position on a controversial subject or it proposes a solution to a
problem or an evaluation of an issue, book or film. In informative writing, you
must be aware of how much the reader knows and try to explain things
accordingly. A clear order is essential to clarify ideas, and providing a lot of
illustration through examples or description is imperative. You must appear to
be knowledgeable and objective, never biased. However, in argumentative
writing, you must try to be objective to a degree, while making your opinion and
preference clear. You must show an awareness of the audience by anticipating
objections and counterarguments. You should always try to put yourself in the
shoes of the other side and see the argument from that point of view. Showing
that you respect the opposite opinion proves that you are a reasonable, objective
person. The thesis must be a logical assertion; that is, an opinion that can be
argued and supported with objective examples, or facts. A purely subjective
opinion, such as taste or personal preference, is not arguable. A logical assertion
is never a fact or something easily verifiable. The argument has to be constructed
logically with sound reasoning and no manipulation or logical fallacies. You must

support every claim (judgment, evaluation or opinion) that you express. That
support, in the form of paragraphs, is based on examples, facts, statistics,
descriptions, case studies, and so forth. The objective of argumentative writing is
to persuade the reader to take your position or your evaluation seriously and
give it consideration.


Writing an essay is more complex, but by constructing good body paragraphs,
using sound logic, carefully supporting all your claims and opinions, and taking
the audience into account, you can achieve clear and convincing essays. The
samples and questions in the following exercises will help you explore, analyze
and reflect on paragraph and essay writing.

C. Patterns of development

In academic written English, there are basically seven patterns of development:
narration, exemplification, cause and effect, comparison and contrast,
description, definition, and classification. Although most essays will combine a
number of these patterns, there is usually one that is predominant. Your thesis,
or the question put to you on an essay examination, will probably contain a head
word which implies the dominant pattern of development. For example, if the
question reads "tell the story" or "narrate," then the dominant pattern will be
narration. The main characteristic of a narration is that it describes a series of
events along a timeline. Usually, there is action involved. Narratives usually
follow chronological order, although there can be flashbacks and flash-forwards.
Of course, most stories and novels are narrative and follow a timeline, although,
for different aesthetic purposes, it might be broken or altered. In academic
writing, however, it is best to adhere to the standard chronological timeline.
Narratives usually have many clear time signals to indicate the sequence of
events. Time signals can be words or phrases indicating clock or calendar time,
verb tenses and adverbials of time. Every event should lead to the next. In other
words, keep asking yourself (as a reader): "What happened next?" In order to
maintain interest, ask yourself "So what?" after each event. That will provide you
with conflict and a reason for the events. If an event is necessary but not very
important, describe it briefly, without too much detail. I f it is important, give a
lot of specific detail so the reader can visualize it. That will increase the tension
and highlight the importance of the event. Narratives are used to tell stories, but
as you have seen, you might want to begin your essay with an anecdote or
illustrate some point with personal experience. In these cases, use a narrative as
your dominant pattern of development.

If your head word reads "give examples" or "list," then your dominant pattern
will be that of exemplification. This means giving a number of examples that will
support your claim or argument. The examples can be real or hypothetical, but if
they are the latter, they should be believable. The examples should be different
enough to illustrate a wide range of cases and provide ample support, For
instance, in the paragraph in which we discussed the beauty of Alcala, the main
pattern of development would clearly be exemplification. We should try to give
several examples of why the city is beautiful and they should be varied. If we

only give examples of historical monuments, the reader might think old buildings
arc the only interesting thing. Giving examples of different types of buildings,
parks and statues or plazas, will give better and more effective support to the
controlling idea of beauty.

If your head word or thesis uses the words "why", "reasons", "because" or
"explain," then you arc probably going to follow the pattern of cause and effect.
Firstly, make sure to study what is the cause of something and what is the effect.
It is not always easy. It is also probably too much to address both cause and
effect in only one paragraph. Usually, a paragraph will discuss one or the other.
To discuss causes or effects you will most certainly give examples and possibly
narration, as in describing a case study or scenario; however, these will not be
the dominant mode. They will only be there to support your discussion. In either
case, remember to give several possible causes or several effects. To give one
sole cause to a complicated problem is oversimplifying and constitutes a logical
fallacy. In paragraphs of cause and effect, we are appealing to our reader's logic
and intellectual capacity, not to their emotions or aesthetic beliefs.

One of the most typical head words is that of "compare" or "contrast." f you arc
asked to compare, that means you will be looking for similarities. If the question
is that of contrast, you will be focusing on differences. Regardless of which, the
two always come together, although with a different emphasis. If there are no
differences, then there is no reason to compare-it would be a clone. If there arc
no similarities, there is no point in contrasting. There are two basic ways to
structure a comparison: sequenced or chunked. A sequenced comparison, that is
point for point or grammatical comparison, compares each point (part of the
body or characteristic) in both subjects. For example, if we arc comparing two
people, we would begin with a logical order, say top-to-bottom, and compare
hair, eyes, nose, mouth, neck, clothes, and so forth. A sequenced comparison is
easy to follow and easy to write especially when under pressure as in an
examination. It follows a logical and visual order and you can keep adding points
as you visualize or remember them. However, it is only effective if the two things
being compared have very similar structures. A chunked comparison, or
comparison of thought, first describes one subject completely and then the other.
It is important to follow the exact same order in both and to make frequent
reference to the first when describing the second, or the reader might get lost. In
the case of the two people, this implies describing one and then the other. In the
second comparison, you would have to make comments such as "Jane has curly
dark hair as opposed to Mary's straight blond hair." This type of comparison
requires careful planning before you start to write and therefore is more
complicated, especially when under pressure. Nevertheless, it is more effective if
the two subjects do not have completely similar structures. Imagine that you are
comparing two families and one is a single-parent household with a
grandmother and three children, whereas the other has two parents but only one
child and no other relatives. A sequenced comparison would not work well.
Remember to think carefully about your subject before choosing the type of
comparison and then be consistent. Do not switch from one pattern to another.
Your purpose is clarity and illustrating the comparison to the reader.

Often your head word might be "describe." Description is one of the basic
patterns of development and it appeals clearly to the readers' sense~.
Descriptions usually have a lot of adjectives and go into details. Our objective is
to make the reader not only visualize the object, but to feel it, hear it, and taste
and smell it, too. I f you arc writing a description, it is useful to close your eyes
and try to identify it using all of your senses. We tend to rely too much on our
eyesight, and appealing to the other senses will make your description much
more interesting, memorable and effective. Remember to follow a logical order
and to choose a view point like looking through the lens of a camera such as from
distant to close, strong to weak. The view point might be stationary, as from the
door, or a birds-eye-view from above, or it could be in motion, as if we were in a
car looking at the scenery. Make sure your reader knows your view point and
can follow your "eyes" and "cars."

Another very important pattern of development in expository writing is that of
definition. We are often called upon to define some concept. Or, in argumentative
writing, we will always have to define a problem or issue. How we define our
subject will determine: the argumentative strategy we will use. Most
argumentative essays have a paragraph based on definition to identify the issue.
Clear wording is essential in a definition. Although definitions use examples, as
almost all other patterns do, the main point is not the example. The example is
there to illustrate, to make the idea clearer. There are many kinds of definitions.
One of the most obvious is the dictionary, which can be a useful way to begin.
There are also sentence definitions, which are used in this introduction. They are
usually preceded by phrases such as, "that is," or "in other words." They are brief
definitions to clarify the term, in case the reader is not sure. Longer definitions
can be historical ones or illustrations. We can give the evolution of a word that
has changed meanings or give a number of examples of what we mean by a
certain term. One very useful type of definition for academic writing is a
stipulative, or working definition. When we are discussing words with
ambiguous meanings or many connotations, we might want to give a definition
of how we arc going to use that word in the context of the essay. For example, if
our issue is about equality, we might want to specify that we understand equality
to mean the legal rights and protection given 10 all persons under the
constitution and not other physical or social constructions of the word. Giving a
stipulative definition is essential when discussing any controversial issues, since,
depending on our definition, the issue and arguments can change.

And finally, our head word might be "analyze," "what kind" or "classify." In these
cases we will be called upon to develop a classification. A classification is quite
difficult to make -, We need to analyze the categories of something or break it
down intC0 its parts and components. A good classification should make sure
that nil possible examples or parts fit into one of the categories established.
Classifying also implies revealing our worldview, or how we visualize or
understand the world around us. For example, if you are asked to analyze your
classmates you might choose the categories of men and women, or good students
and bad students, or tall and short, rich and poor, and so forth.

Whichever you choose, it reveals how you see your classmates, in terms of sex,
grades, physical characteristics, or social class. I f you have only set up two
categories, such as in the example, it implies that you view things as dichotomies,
either/or. In other words, that classmates MUST be one or the other, not
something in-between. This example is clearly an oversimplification, but it does
illustrate the implications of any classification. Of course, this example also
illustrates another logical fallacy, which you should avoid, that is the black/white
or either/or fallacy, which is dichotomization. Things in life are rarely as simple
as one of two extremes. When you have to classify or analyze something, make
sure to take your time and think of all the possible examples to see if they fit one
of the categories your have chosen.

These are the basic seven patterns of development in English expository writing.
An essay of several paragraphs will probably use several. There will always be
examples and probably some definitions, even if only a sentence definition. Facts
and statistics are types of examples. Since one of the basic techniques of support,
other than examples, is description, this pattern is also very frequent. We have
also mentioned that narration is useful for discussing case studies, scenarios or
personal experience and anecdotes. Whether you use cause and effect,
comparison and contrast, or classification will depend on your subject and your
approach. Your native English readers will expect one or more of these
developments. lf you don't use them, they will be confused and then your essay
will not be effective. But if you take these models into account, as well as the
other guidelines to paragraph and essay writing, you will soon find that writing a
clear and effective essay is not that difficult.

D. Rewriting the text

Once you have thought about your topic and made an outline, you should then
write the first draft. After that, you should ask yourself questions about it, as we
do in the practical texts in the book. Then, it is time to rewrite the text for a
second draft. When you rewrite a text there are two approaches. One is to simply
correct those errors in the original, editing, and the other is to make serious
changes to make the text more effective and interesting, which is called revising.
Usually, we revise our texts first for content, organization, interest and
effectiveness, and then in a third or fourth draft, we edit for accuracy and
correctness. How much revising you do depends on many factors: your
objectives, the time available, and the interest of the topic. In the first text of the
book, we have provided two suggested versions, one simply edited and the other
substantially revised and edited so you can see the difference. Always, the more
time spent pre-writing (thinking about the subject, brainstorming, outlining) and
the more drafts made, revising and editing, the better your essay will be. We
hope these examples and suggestions of rewritten texts will illustrate the
process and help you write more effective texts in English.