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Basic Etiquette For Restaurant Staff
Basic Etiquette For Restaurant Staff
Basic Etiquette For Restaurant Staff
Waiting tables may look easy, but it can be very stressful. From remembering drink orders, carrying a 20 pound tray
of food, or dealing with unfriendly guests, the job can be challenging. Here are a few tips that will keep customers happy
and servers on their professional toes.
Tips for Servers:
1. Please stand up. Although it may seem more personable to kneel next to your customer, and studies show you get a
better tip, it may actually give the impression of being overly familiar. While some customers may not mind you being in
close proximity, others may get put off by their server getting so close. Show you are genuinely engaged by offering your
name, and giving your customer an authentic smile and friendly greeting. (Customers: Show your server respect by
making eye contact and responding to his or her greeting. Dont put your server in the awkward position of requesting
they sit and visit while he or she is trying to attend to several other tables.)
2. Keep your hands to yourself. Studies also suggest that touching the customer in an obviously non sexual manner
builds a connection and illicits a better tip. Etiquette says you should listen to your mothers advice and keep your hands
to yourself. Unless your customer is clearly lunging forward for a hug or kiss, refrain from touching, patting or kissing.
Your general manager may reach out for a handshake but your hands are touching food and you are held to a different
set of rules. I would never recommend refusing a handshake or hug from a customer, but I do discourage being the first
one to extend your hand in a restaurant environment. (Customers: Dont touch your server to get his or her attention.)
3. Pull your hair back. The last thing a customer wants to see is a server running his or her hands through their hair, or
rolling it behind their ears to keep it from falling forward in their face. Tie it back and keep customers happy by keeping
your long ponytail out of the Lobster Bisque. (Customers: If you want to brush your hair or freshen up your makeup,
excuse yourself to the restroom.)
4. Spit out your gum. Save the smacking, popping and blowing bubbles for after hours. Customers expect a
professional demeanor, which does not include gum chewing. (Customers: Dont thoughtlessly put your used chewing
gum on the rim of the plate or wadded up in the linen napkin.)
5. Dont make direct contact with the door knob after washing your hands. It goes without saying that restaurant
staff must be diligent hand washers. I recently shared a powder room sink with a server that was meticulous about
washing her hands. She used hot water, dried her hands with the hand blower, but then proceeded to grab the nasty
restroom handle and walk through the door. All efforts at germ free hands were thwarted! Use a paper towel to touch or
grab the door handle. (Customers: Servers and restaurant staff are not the only ones that are responsible for using good
hygiene. Wash your hands!)
6. Pay attention to where you place your fingers. Make sure your fingers do not touch the rim of the glass, or leave a
thumb print on the dinner plate you are serving the customer. Its unappetizing to eat from a plate with someone elses
finger marks left behind so be aware and take the necessary precautions. (Customers: Dont attempt to help the server
by stacking the dishes or passing them to the server when you are through eating.)
7. No to using your nose. Under no circumstances should you smell a drink if you arrive at the table and cant
remember which similar looking dark liquid belongs to what customer. A more professional option is to own the confusion,
take the drinks back to the kitchen and start all over. (Customers: When your food arrives, refrain from smelling it to see if
it is fresh.)
8. If youre sick, please go home. Rather than sniffling and fighting back a cough, the courteous thing to do is find
someone that can switch shifts with you until you are fever free and feeling better. (Customers: If you or your children are
clearly feverish, coughing, or visibly sick, please stay home and enjoy a night out another day.)
9. Keep your fingers off the French fries. Under no circumstances should you take a taste from either a plate coming
out of the kitchen, or a plate going back to the kitchen. You may think you are safely out of sight, but someone is always
looking. (Customers: Unless offered by the server, dont ask for just a taste of a menu item that you dont intend to
order.)
10. Always bring back the change. Even if it is only 23 cents, unless the customer tells you otherwise, bring back
every penny. (Customers: It is the lowest form of civility to leave only a few cents, or skip a tip completely, even if you
have received extremely poor service. The etiquette rule is to leave a minimum of 10% and speak to the manager about
the poor service.)
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Black or white tie, white or colored diner jacket, and black pants. Sometimes a tuxedo.
Suggests entrees, takes your order, serves and prepares tableside dishes. If no sommelier, presents the wine
list. Oversees about six waiters. Occasionally presents the bill.
Address: first name. or, if unknown, say Captain.
SOMMELIER
Black outfit. Often sports a flat silver cup (tastevin) dangling from a long, thick silver necklace.
Presents wine lists, offers suggestions, answers your oenological questions, brings and uncorks the wine, pours it
and waits for your approval, and refills the glasses when necessary.
Address: Sommelier (sohm-meh-lyeh) or wine steward. Use given name if known.
WAITER
White or colored coat (usually less formal and cut shorter than the captains) or long-sleeved waistcoat.
Sometimes wears epaulets. May have linen wrapped around waist.
Your primary contact. Fetches and serves the routine dishes and, possibly, beverages. Usually brings the check.
Supervises the busboy.
Address: Waiter. Use given only if it has been announced or if the two of you are acquainted.
BUSBOY
Sleeveless waistcoat of no sartorial splendor.
sets table, adjust place settings, refills water glasses, removes dirty tableware.
Do not speak to the busboy. Direct your requests through the waiter.
WHOS WHO IN THE KITCHEN
Executive chef or chef du cuisine - head cook;
sous-chef (underchef) - second in command; and
The chefs de partie (specialized cooks).
1.
2.
3.
4.
WAITERS
Much of the success of your meal hinges on your interaction with your waiter or waitress. For better or worse, servers are
quick to introduce themselves today but even if they don't, a polite diner will treat them with respect. "Respect" doesn't
mean thanking a waiter or waitress for every little task performed, but the occasional expression of gratitude is definitely in
order.
Treating a server as a robot is unforgivably rude, and an imperious or condescending manner shows you not as superior
but small. In brief, do the following:
Respond with a "hello" when the server first greets you, not a demand ("We need water!").
Answer her questions with actual words, not grunts.
Add "please" to your requests.
Look at her as she recites the specials, and don't grimace if she describes something you don't like.
Before you order, make sure everyone else at the table is ready to order.
When you want your plate to be cleared, signal by placing your knife and fork in the "I'm finished" position-beside each
other diagonally on the plate.
Call the server by catching his eye and giving him an expectant look. If he's some distance away, you can raise your hand
to chin level, index finger pointing up.
Who doesnt relish receiving VIP treatment in a restaurant? Once you learn the velvet ropes, you can enjoy the red carpet
normally unrolled for ambassadors, movie stars, and captains of industry.
Hard to get reservations will become available. Maitre ds, bartenders and waiters will greet you with a smile and your
name. You will be escorted to choice tables and be offered daily specials the hoi polloi will never know. Your requests will
be handled with respect and dispatch. This reception cannot but impress your guests.
CULTIVATING A RESTAURANT
The surest way of getting VIP treatment is to become a regular. A quality restaurant must give special services to its
steady customers if the management hopes to sustain their loyalty.
1.
Rule One: You should concentrate on frequenting a small, but well-rounded list, of restaurants tailored to your
needs. A basic list might include French, Northern Italian, Chinese, Japanese, Seafood, and American Steakhouse.
2.
You must frequent the establishments enough to become a familiar face.
3.
If you vistit for the first time and want to cultivate it, the best approach is to get a regular to introduce you to the
management. If you have no contact, try discreetly giving the maitre d five or ten dollars on your way out. Tell the
maitre d that you enjoyed dining in his or her establishment and would like to make reservations for a choice table on
such-and-such date in the near future. You can almost be certain that on your next visit you will be greeted by name
and assigned a better-than-average table. Repeat this cycle until you become part of the well-entrenched clan.
4.
Cultivate other staffers too. If you are satisfied with your captain, specifically request to sit in his or her area
whenever you make reservations. The captain will be flattered.
5.
Occasionally send a pleasant, but pertinent compliment to the chef on the back of your business card. Before
long, the chef will probably make special trips from the kitchen to your table, a sign that you are a well known
regular. Thereafter, periodically send the chef a small gift: cuff links, earrings, twenty to fifty dollars in cash.
DRESS CODE
Call to find out if the restaurant has a dress code.
INFORMAL OR CASUAL
Informal or casual means just that: something informal and comfortable but neat, pressed, and clean. Your attire should fit
the custom of the area and occasion; for a poolside party, jeans and a T-shirt, plus your bathing suit, would usually be fine.
"Dressy casual" may seem a bit of a contradiction in terms; however, in these relaxed times, it may keep people from
showing up in a T-shirt and torn cutoffs. For a "dressy casual" affair, wear something nicer than ordinary everyday casual
clothes but not as fancy as cocktail wear.
"Business casual" usually means wearing something a little more casual than customary office attire, such as khakis,
sports shirts, and blazers or sweaters.
SEMIFORMAL
Semiformal generally means that women wear dresses or dressy pants ensembles. Men wear either suits and ties or
sports shirts, a sports jacket, a tie, and slacks. If in doubt, it is perfectly acceptable for you to check with your hostess.
BLACK TIE OR FORMAL
Black tie or formal means men should wear tuxedos with a soft shirt and bow tie. Jackets may be white in the summer and
black the rest of the year, and are available in patterns and many other colors. Women either wear long dresses, or a
short, cocktail-length dress, depending upon what is currently customary in their area and for the occasion.
WHITE TIE
White tie is the most formal evening wear -white tie, wing collar, and tailcoat. This is almost never required today, except
for official and diplomatic occasions and the rare private ball. For a woman, "white tie" indicates that a long gown should
be worn.
TELEPHONING FOR RESERVATIONS
Usually it is best to call a day or two ahead of time. If the day and the restaurant are very popular, a week or two in
advance may be advisable. Reconfirm on the day of your visit. Telephone during meal hours to get the official reservation
taker. Be confident. Dont ask for a reservation state it. Ask for a good table. Keep a list of owners and maitre ds of the
restaurants you wish to visit again. Your chances of getting a reservation at the last minute improve if you great the person
by name. Should the restaurant have a special off-the-menu meal or dish, consider ordering it ahead of time. Expect
special treatment when you tell the maitre d that the occasion is very special to you. Cancel your reservation as soon as
you know that you are not going. Also alert the restaurant if there will be a change in your arrival time or in the size of your
party.
RESERVATION PLOYS
1.
A person who tries to slip a ten- or twenty-dollar bill into the maitre ds palm will not be tossed. The diner
miraculously becomes the holder of the reservation for the next available table.
2.
Tell the truth.
1.
2.
Socially conscious diners prefer banquettes because they can scan the room.
Executives may like standard tables to have eye-to-eye contact.
If the restaurant is multiroomed, usually the best chamber is the one nearest the maitre d.
If you did not ask for a good location when making the reservation, ask while you are at the maitre ds stand.
If you see you are being escorted to an unpleasant table, make an urbane protest before you sit down. Stand your ground
and discreetly point at a table or general area that you would prefer.
INTERNATIONAL RESTAURANT TIPPING ETIQUETTE
AFRICAN TIPPING GUIDELINES
EGYPTIAN TIPPING ETIQUETTE
A 12% service charge may be added to your bill, but this is not a tip for your waiter. A 10% tip is suggested.
KENYAN TIPPING ETIQUETTE
Western visitors often leave a tip of up to 10% when they pay for a meal. Kenyans give a minimal tip.
MOROCCAN TIPPING ETIQUETTE
In more expensive restaurants and bars, 10%-15% percent of the bill is a suffice tip. For many service people, such as
porters and guides, tips are their sole income.
NIGERIAN TIPPING ETIQUETTE
Tips are optional 5% is fine.
SOUTH AFRICAN TIPPING ETIQUETTE
Visitors are expected to give a 20% tip when paying for a meal.
ASIAN TIPPING GUIDELINES
CHINESE TIPPING ETIQUETTE
Tipping is generally considered an insult in China. Most government operated hotels and restaurants prohibit acceptance
of tips. It is sometimes expected, however, in some of the bigger hotels and by younger service personnel, in the more
open cities.
FILIPINO TIPPING ETIQUETTE
Restaurants and hotels usually charge a service fee. Tipping is optional on bills that already include a 10% service
charge. Thats the standard practice. However, if you aim to build a strong presence, both indirectly and directly with your
local business contact and the people around him, be generous.
INDIAN TIPPING ETIQUETTE
Normally, excessive tipping is not encouraged, but a certain amount of tip is expected. In most restaurants, 10% is a
sufficient tip, which may be added to the bill. You can, however, give an additional tip by leaving the change to show your
appreciation.
sommeliers:
- fifteen (15) to twenty (20) percent of the wine bill - but only if they were especially helpful
- if the sommelier took your order and poured your first glass, no more than ten (10) to fifteen (15) percent
- tip your waiter only for the food portion of the bill.
tipping the maitre d, bartenders, washroom attendants, valet parking attendants, busboys, and musicians. tipping less, tip
jars
GUIDELINES FOR TIPPING:
If you are a regular, you may want to give the host $10 to $20 every once to cultivate your relationship and to say
"thank you" for special services.
A tip may be appropriate if the maitre d' has gone out of his way to find a table for you on a busy night. (Offer him
$10 to $15 after he's shown you to the table.) If your dining party is large, double or triple the tip, depending on the
number of people.
BARTENDERS
How much you tip a bartender depends in part on whether you're waiting at the bar for a table in the adjoining restaurant
or you're at a bar for its own sake.
As you wait for a table, you can either pay for drinks as you order or run a tab, which will be added to your dinner
bill. Leave a tip for the bartender before you leave the bar. One dollar per drink is standard.
If you're at a bar simply to have a drink, tip between fifteen and twenty percent of the total. If the bartender has
given you a free drink or two, add a couple of extra dollars to your tip.
WASHROOM ATTENDANTS
Tip washroom attendants at least one dollar for handing you a towel.
If the attendant brushes off your jacket, leave $2.00 or $3.00.
A small dish of coins is usually on display and the tip is placed there instead of in the attendant's hand.
If washroom attendants do nothing but stand there biding their time, no tip is necessary.
VALET PARKING ATTENDANTS
Tip the parking attendant $2.00.
Give the tip when the car is brought to you, not when you arrive.
BUSBOYS
Busboys are usually not tipped, with two exceptions:
1.
You spill something and the busboy cleans it up - you may give him or her $1.00 or $2.00 as you leave.
2.
If a busboy in a cafeteria carries your tray to the table, $1.00 or $2.00 is appropriate.
MUSICIANS
In nicer restaurants with piano entertainment, do not tip the piano player unless you see a tip jar - that is
unlikely.
You may tip musicians in more casual restaurants - $2 to $5 on leaving, even if you've made no request receptacles for tips are usually in clear view.
If you have made requests, add an extra dollar or more for each song.
For strolling musicians, the basic tip is $1 per musician, $2 for a party of two; a total of $5 is enough for a
group.
If you make a special request, add an extra dollar to each musician's tip.
You needn't stop eating when musicians perform table side. Just smile and thank them as you tip when the
musicians finish.
WHEN TO TIP LESS
A multitude of things can go wrong: The music in a restaurant is so loud that you have to shout over it to be heard. The
rare steak you ordered is served well done. You spot a worm inching its way across your salad plate. Or you wait so long
for the dessert menu that you wonder if the pastry chef went home early.
Whether you convey your dissatisfaction through your tip depends on how well the waitstaff addressed the problem. If
there was a successful resolution, tip the full amount. If your waiter got only so-so results but doesn't deserve all the
blame, you might reduce the tip to ten percent.
If the problem wasn't taken care of or your waiter was surly, tipping eight percent is the "fairest" monetary expression of
your dissatisfaction. (According to the Internal Revenue Service. most restaurants report eight percent of their take as
waitstaff income, so reducing the tip any further actually costs the server.) Leaving no tip (a drastic step, in most people's
eyes) may cause your server to think you forgot-and your point will be lost. To leave a penny, as a few do when they want
to make a statement, is to comment on ineptitude with nastiness.
TIP JARS
Whether to pocket your change or to drop it into the jar is your choice. You might choose to tip because the salesperson
provides a little something extra she notices a leak in the carton and replaces it or she's particularly cordial. Still, you are
under no obligation to leave a tip in a countertop tip jar. Unlike waiters and waitresses who provide table service and pay
taxes calculated on their base pay plus tips, workers at counter-service businesses normally receive sufficient base
salaries. Besides, the purpose of a tip is to reward; the gesture should come from the giver, not from the inanimate
equivalent of an outstretched palm.
RELATED TIPPING ETIQUETTE:
We have complied thorough international tipping guidelines in this section. If you are traveling on business or pleasure,
investigate this valuable tipping resource.
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Proper
Restaurant Etiquette
Proper restaurant etiquette is really no more than basic good manners, common sense and a little simple
knowledge. Having myself worked in the restaurant trade for the best part of my life, I'm only too well aware of some of
the horrors that can befall the general public! Let me share with you my top tips for getting the most from your restaurant
experience and achieving the outcome that you wish for.
The Role of the Host or Hostess
Hosting a lunch or dinner party in a restaurant, is really no different to hosting one in your own home. The basic
principles of restaurant etiquette are very similar:
Plan ahead to give your guests plenty of time to organize their calendars.
Introduce yourself to the matre d' and make it clear that you are the host. This is particularly important where a
female is hosting the party in order for the staff to know who to refer to.
Make sure that you give equal of your time and attention to ALL of your guests.
Politeness and good manners are an absolute essential. If necessary, do a little research beforehand
on proper table etiquette.
Keep an eye on all of your guests to ensure that they have not been forgotten by the restaurant staff. If wine or
drinks are getting low, call over the wine waiter and order more.
Avoid sensitive topics of conversation and if necessary, steer a conversation if it is heading the wrong way.
Above all, do discreetly make sure beforehand that your guests know whether or not they are expected
to contribute to the cost of the meal .
Choosing the Restaurant and Reserving a Table
The right choice of restaurant can make or break a party. Firstly think about your budget and choose appropriately.
Choosing an expensive restaurant, on price alone, is no guarantee that your party will be successful! Wherever possible,
choose a tried and trusted restaurant, especially if you are known by the staff as you will likely get superior service. Also
think about the style of occasion and thetype of cuisine that best suits....formal or casual? Ethnic or national cuisine?
Intimate or hustle and bustle? Always put the preferences of your guests before those of your own!
Always reserve a table well in advance. If you need to alter the booking or indeed cancel it, good restaurant etiquette
requires that you should call ahead as early as possible so that the table may be re-booked. Try to arrange for a table in
the most appropriate part of the restaurant for the occasion. Explain to the matre d' the nature of the occasion and ask for
his recommendation.
Above all, do not be late for the reservation. And if you are running late, call ahead to advise on your expected time of
arrival.
Dress Code
These days, the vast majority of restaurants, including the high end, fine dining ones, do not generally enforce a strict
dress code. In fact thankfully these days, the whole subject of restaurant etiquette is far more relaxed than it used to be.
However, if you are not familiar with the restaurant and its style, call the restaurant itself and inquire. And if you remain
unsure, then dress on the conservative side to be safe. Alternatively if it's appropriate, speak to the host and ask them they certainly won't want their guests either over or under dressing!
Personally though, I believe that where a host is going to a lot of trouble (and possibly expense!), it is just good
manners to make a little effort over one's appearance.
Table Setting and Cutlery
In most restaurants, only a bare minimum of cutlery and glassware will be on the table as you arrive. Generally speaking,
restaurant etiquette requires the staff to introduce the appropriate cutlery and glassware as the meal progresses.
The basic principles of good dining etiquette apply in much the same way in a restaurant as they would do at home:
If you are unable to attend the occasion, give the host as much notice as possible.
Always arrive on time. If you are running late, call the host and advise of your expected time of arrival.
If you are having aperitifs first, wait for the host to ask you what you would like rather than just going ahead
and ordering. Beer is not appropriate as a pre-dinner drink.
At the table allow the host to indicate where they would like you to sit.
Once seated the waiting staff may well unfold your napkin for you and place it over your lap. A good example of
restaurant etiquette from a rather more gentile era!
When the menu is presented if there is anything unfamiliar on it, don't be afraid to ask your waiter to explain
it. Remember they are there to assist you.
If the host is paying, avoid choosing the most expensive dishes. Never over-indulge on the quantity that you eat
or drink.
The host will generally order the wines.
Always engage equally in conversation with the guests seated both to your right and left.
Once finished eating a course, place your cutlery close together on your plate. This indicates to the staff that
you are finished.
As the occasion draws to a close, wait for the host to indicate that it is time to leave. Be sure to thank them
graciously for their hospitality.
Establishing the right relationship with staff is key to a successful occasion. In my mind you should always
be friendly, but business like. Get the balance right, and you will not be disappointed. Just remember that most
restaurant staff work extremely long hours and are not generally very well paid. Be a little forgiving when
necessary, but don't be inclined to accept poor quality food or service. Again, a happy balance is needed.
Above all, please do not treat the staff like servants! Good restaurant etiquette means treating them with
respect and as individuals. And if you use a particular restaurant regularly and have a good relationship with any
individual staff member, don't be afraid to ask to have them serve you when you book.
If you have had good service, always make a point of thanking the individuals concerned as well as the matre
d'. It's just good manners and will mean a great deal to those concerned.
Ordering wine in a restaurant can be a daunting task if you don't know a great deal about the subject. Asking a
waiter or sommelier for assistance often can make you even more uncomfortable, especially if you're trying to
make the right impression with your guests. If you are reluctant to tell the waiter your price range, it is helpful to
communicate the information nonverbally by pointing to a bottle on the wine list that is within your range and
saying something along the lines of, "I'm thinking about trying this wine, can you tell me more about it?"
From the customer's perspective, you do not have to be a wine connoisseur to know when a bottle is corked - it
happens more than occasionally, and the distinct smell of wet, moldy cardboard is hard to forget. If you think the
wine smells or tastes off, you should be confident in telling the waiter or wine steward. After all, you're paying for
it, and you should not subject yourself or your guests to drinking a corked bottle. Equally, if the temperature is not
right, politely advise the staff and allow them to correct it.
But what is the correct restaurant etiquette for when you order a bottle of wine and simply don't like it? If
you confidently ordered the bottle on your own, without the help and advice of a sommelier or wine steward, it is
generally not appropriate restaurant etiquette to send it back - especially if it is an expensive bottle! However, if
you requested assistance from the staffand don't like what they suggested, it is within your prerogative to
express your displeasure with the wine and ask for it to be changed for an alternative.
One other useful tip for the wine novice is to speak privately with the sommelier before being seated at the
table. That way you can listen to and take their advice as well as clarify your budget for the occasion.
One note of caution on alcohol consumption whether you are the host or a guest, excessive consumption of wine is most unattractive. Control the amount you
consume to that with which you are comfortable. Do not allow over attentive waiters or an overly generous host to
encourage you do drink excessively. If a wine waiter is working on commission, he may be rather too enthusiastic
to encourage copious consumption!
Complaints
We've all been there - something goes wrong, and the question is, how do we deal with it? If you are hosting the
party and one of your guests is dissatisfied, then the proper restaurant etiquette would be to call over the waiter
(or preferably the matre d') and discreetly point out what is wrong and ask for it to be rectified. NEVER get
aggressive or loud but instead make your request politely and firmly. Once the problem has been rectified, check
again with your guest that they are now happy.
If you are a guest at a party (and particularly if the host is paying) it is a little trickier. My personal belief is that it
very much depends upon the relationship that you have with the host and other guests. I have been known to
"suffer in silence" for fear of embarrassing the host or potentially spoiling the party. After all, it is only a meal and
the purpose of the occasion is by far more important. If however, the food is not edible, or grossly under or
over cooked, then it would be appropriate restaurant etiquette to discreetly point it out to the host and let them
deal with it as above.
But in all cases, please treat the staff with respect especially as the fault may not be of their own making. And
once the problem has been rectified, make a point of thanking them later for their diligence.
Tipping
Of all of the numerous aspects of restaurant etiquette, tipping is possibly the most contentious! Depending on
where you are in the world, the expectations will never be the same, nor the plight and reward of the restaurant
staff! As such, my general advice is to give only that amount that you feel the staff genuinely deserve regardless of what is "expected". That may be anything from nothing (where everything was quite appalling) to
perhaps 20 or even 25% for the most sublime meal and service.
Regardless of local customs, I would never tip if the food and service were well below expectations. The
staff should never EXPECT a tip if the service or food is appalling - they most likely know what is acceptable and
must earn it, and where they do, the host should always reward it!
http://www.gourmet-food-revolution.com/restaurant-etiquette.html
check
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