11:13 am, 8/18/2009, 5 Cauac/Rainstorm, Mayan calendar day

MY HIMALAYAN EXPERIENCE and YOGANANDA

I think I have just finally had an experience that will not be able to be conveyed at all with
words. Perhaps I can touch it. We shall see. (Mantra for Sovereignty* said.)

So, my morning readings clearly prepared me for this experience. In No More Secrets, No More
Lies, I read of how we are all one, across all that appears to take place linearly, in time. My
other readings also probably supported this; I am now too high on the experience to do the
necessary research to prove it, or not.

So, as per the earlier journal of this day, I worked out that Abraham-Hicks was not for me, not
now, at this time upon my particular path. So I set them aside. Okay, so far, so good.

I then wrote a few lines on Skype to the offline Michaela, illumining some early parts of my
Power Questions document that I shared with her, two days ago. I then wondered what to do.

Though habit or a sort of duty indicated to me to open the browser, check the email, and so
on, I rejected that. Being too high, at that time, to want to come ‘down’ sufficiently to grovel
about in mundane things.

So I opened the media player. Choosing the Autobiography of a Yogi audio book over the
Adyashanti one, I am so grateful I did. I had reached chapter 34, Materializing a Palace in the
Himalayas, so I listened to that.

Hardly very far into it, which told of the initiation of Lahiri Mahasaya into Kriya Yoga, I began
sobbing deeply, feeling self somehow participating in what was being read. I was there, in the
Himalayas, with Babaji and the rest. I listened, in tears, to the entire rest of this chapter as in
a daze, in the two places, here and there, simultaneously.

I held my right hand over heart and over the 24kt gold coin I wear, with the Mayan calendar
on its surface. I repeated, over and over, throughout, ...hmmm, having difficulty recalling the
exact words. Something to the effect that I am there, I am that, as well, said again and again,
deeply, reverently, intently and intensely. (“I am there now.”)

After a bit, I began alternating this phrase with “I lack nothing.” This, all said hand over heart,
eyes closed, in deep communion. It was a beautiful, intense experience.

No, these words do not do it justice. They but provide the skeleton, but not at all the
experience. That is for the astute, the intuitive reader to glean, directly, from the vibration that
is also recorded here, amidst these words. So be it.

Yes, I will write. This forms part of my supposed ‘future’ in this lifetime. Yet there is more, so
infinitely much more, to be experienced. Sometimes, the words will seem to work, to do the trick, and
at least partially convey what I desire to convey, but mostly it will be as in the above
experience, where only the intuitive, the awakened or awakening, will be able to connect.
And so be it. I am content. It is what it is, and one can only do what one can do. All is well.

I have crossed over something. What, is still hazy to me, but I have passed a test, or
something. Things are changing much for me. No, it is quite true, Abraham is not the way for
those on my (mystic’s) path, Homeward. It is well to leave them, and their teachings to those
called to that, to those for whom that complements their path, their desires.

I have renounced too much, already, to go back and pick up desires, again, and seek their fulfillment.
God shall lend unto me my desires, henceforth, in this lifetime. I shall follow that inner spirit,
wherever it leads.

I am led, most likely, to produce these marvels and precipitations, but not out of desire directly
for them. They shall be side lights, and interesting things, but not central to anything. They
shall be effects, not causes, and not directly sought; that is it: not directly sought, as desires.

There is the crux: what is desired? Godlight, union with God. How to precipitate these? Not
as easily done as a palace in the Himalayas, perhaps. Actually, though, these need no
precipitating, as they already exist, full blown, within. No, but I will let them precipitate what
they will, not going the direct pursuing-desires road.

What was the meaning of the experience? Could it be that I, too, have been, and perhaps on more than
one occasion, in more than one embodiment, in the presence of Babaji, of Lahiri Mahasaya? Possibly.
That is to miss the point, however, which is the oneness of all things, of all times, of all incarnations—
the simultaneous experience of it all. That is the major ‘meaning,’ if one would look to pull a
meaning from it.

The experience is whole within itself. It needs no interpretation, no meaning pulled from it. That is
just the mind at work, and the mind can never, will never be able to enter in to such experiences.
It must simply sit, placidly and quietly at rest in the background as they occur...or they will not
occur.

The mind is no gate to anywhere I desire to go. It is but a tool, and a wonderful useful one, at
that, but still, just a tool.

Thus, to seek to pull such meanings from experiences is somewhat futile. I doubt it will lead anywhere
worthwhile. The experience is and contains all the meaning I desire. It IS the meaning. To try to take
a meaning from it, is to be one step removed...which is what the mind does. It learns about things, it
does not directly experience the things.

Okay, that is all. It is enough.

1:33 pm

Well, almost enough. On listening to Chapter. 36, and the tale of the death of the body of
Lahiri Mahashaya, I again broke out in sobs. Clearly, I am also one of his devotees, there (in
‘that’ life). This is a blessing—and much to absorb. I am grateful.

Again, when Yogananda receives (by vision) word of Sri Yukteshwar’s body’s impending
death, I was again moved to (more gentle) tears.

* The Mantra for Sovereignty, a beautiful, protective invocation, appropriate anytime:

“I am a sovereign being exercising free will as I ascend the spiral of Spirit;
I intend that the Higher Purpose be served and that the light Prevail”
No More Secrets No More Lies, by Patricia Cori, p. 48

Text version of Autobiography of a Yogi is available on Scribd, here