ASSIGNMENT TWO

Background/Introduction:

What would be better than having a holiday meal with a few of your best friends and family? It
would be amazing to be able to help each other cook and watch the football games that are on
TV and being able to cheer on your team. Then, deciding that you should all go out to the park
and play your own game while the food finishes cooking. You go out and play for a few hours,
switching the teams and trying to make the game as evenly split as possible while other

Commented [1]: Great job grasping the readers

attention. I'm over here reminiscing on the past. But
really, this is a good job transitioning into the topic
"Friends."
Zach Funderburke

bystanders watching as each one of you tries to impress the them and each other. But, you get
hungry and decide to go eat while two lone people stay at the part and pounce on the football to
try and get the winning touchdown. Sibling rivalries, even as adults, can definitely get
interesting. That situation sounds strangely similar to an episode of one of my favorite shows,
Friends.
Over the past half a century, the understanding of the Americanized family or relationship has
changed drastically. 50 years ago, even 15 years ago, the ideal family was a mom and a dad
with two kids. But over the past couple years, this image of the perfect family has been under
construction. One part is the never ending media coverage of same sex marriage, which is
challenged by the show with Rosss ex-wife being lesbian. Also, previously it was taboo to have
sex outside of marriage, but this show shows that it was becoming a new way of life. People
began having friends with benefits and one night stands, which was never really a topic of
discussion until the more modern view of relationships which is much more open.
The well-known TV sit-com series Friends is very well known for its attractive cast, hilarious
dialogue, and also for its challenging approach to the basic 1990s romantic relationship idea.
Friends is based on the fictional life of six friends that come together and live in apartments in

Commented [2]: I like this transition sentence in the

bottom half of your first paragraph. It introduces your
topic, "friends", and gives us insight on what your paper
might be about. It tells the audience how the people in
friends may act on a regular day and as a reader, its
essential to grasp in the early start of the paper.
Walker Yates
Commented [3]: I thought this was a awesome fact to
include in your introduction. The "normal American
family" has definitely been put through change. Even
the previous generation has seen some significant
change.
Dillon Foreman

Commented [4]: Is there any examples of this going

on in the show? I feel as if Ashlyn would really
appreciate it if you included just one or two. Are their
two specific characters in the show that meet that
criteria? Maybe there is an episode revolved around a
one night stand?
Dillon Foreman

downtown Manhattan, New York. As the show progresses, the audience begins to see the
character of each cast member and their very in-depth attitude come forth. The group does
everything together from living together, eating meals together, holidays, birthdays, parties,
owning pets, anything you can think of, the characters participate in it together, just like a family.
I watched three full length episodes of the show from Season Two to observe the casts every

Commented [5]: Good job explaining the friendship

between the characters. It seems like a fantasy of mine
to live with all of my friends. This makes me want to
start watching the series.
Zach Funderburke

move as if I was there with them on the set, filming the show. I began to learn about and also felt
the need to research this very open-minded and newly formed outlook on relationships that was
not well-respected in the early 2000s and prior and how it challenged the previous
understanding of a healthy and ideal relationship.

Literature Review:

I began to research the topic of relationships to learn more about them and be able to compare
the Friends idea of relationships and how it challenged the general healthy relationship idea
of the early 2000s and before that. I looked at many different resources to find information
about relationships like Google Scholar, assorted scholarly documents, National Public Radio,
and my own observations. I broke my information down into four main different categories to
learn from and they were: information on why relationships work, break-ups and struggles,
aspects of love and relationships, and then information straight from my observations of the
show itself such as gay marriage and how it relates to my other sources.
Relationships can work out and flourish for many different reasons such as being friends (no pun
intended) before the relationship, mutual likes and dislikes, or being opposites that attract. But,
success in a relationship is much deeper than just that. Many things to into them such as the
relationship with your parents as an adolescent, certain manners to uphold for them to start up
well, and certain criteria that determines romantic relationships. An understandable and well-

Commented [6]: Maybe you could explain how a

conservative minded individual may see this "new era
of relationships". not just that they look down apron it,
but what they might say about it. What is an "ideal
relationship"?
Walker Yates

rounded relationship with your parents can cause for better relationships later in life. A study was
done with 3000 middle school and high school students and the kids were followed until their
30s to see if their relationships with their parents as a child had an effect on their romantic
relationships later in life(Singh, 2014, Shots on NPR). The conclusion of the study was that it
was an aspect of that and also if the relationship with the parents was not good, that it could
cause issues romantically later. If the parent to child relationship was full of compromise and
understanding, then that is how many of the romantic encounters went as well. This also goes
along with manners in a kindling romantic relationship. You are taught manners as a child, but
some that you use in the dating world have to be self-learned. Generally, the first few dates (if
you werent friends before-hand) are trying to figure out the other person to see if the two are
compatible. So, a lot of times the hard part is a certain person coming on too strong. It will
normally scare the other person away because they are not ready for something like that. Another
is to share the responsibility of paying for meals. If a person invites someone to dinner, the
inviter should pay for the dinner. It should not be based on the income or even more well-known
men should pay for every meal. Which leads to the reason a certain person is attracted to
another. In a study done by Grand Valley State University, they concluded that the two most
influential things for initial attraction is a persons physical traits and their career/achievements
in life. A lot of people try to say that physical traits are not important and that personality is all

Commented [7]: Preach. We eventually gonna run

outta cash
Zach Funderburke

Commented [8]: Good job mentioning a study that

was formed in the past. i really like how that information
helps a reader get a better grasp on why a person is
attracted to another and the facts behind it.
Walker Yates

that matters, but this study contradicts that outlook.

With relationships, comes breakups. Some people experience more of these heartbreaks than
others do. Those people will tell you, that it never gets easier. No one ever wants to have to break
up with someone, but sometimes some things just have to end. This idea is explained in an article
on National Public Radio (NPR) written by Ann Patchett. She says that in bad relationships, even

Commented [9]: Are these your words or are they

from Ann Patchett's article from NPR? If they are her
words, just make sure to include them in the in text
citation so there isn't any confusion. If not maybe you
could reword it so it would sound more like you are
saying this. "I can tell you from people I have talked to"
or something along those lines.
Dillon Foreman

if you feel like youre too old or have been with someone too long, sometimes you just have to
leave that situation. The book she wrote called This is a story of a happy marriage is written
with her personal experience with the issue being married at 24, then just one short year later at
25, being divorced. She talks about the struggles, but also why it was a good thing and how she
will (and how others should) treat serious relationships differently in the future. But, on another
NPR radio article, studies have been that are saying many more people are choosing to marry
later in life, if at all. Now, a record low of 51% of people are married and only 20% of 18-29
year olds are married compared to 60% of that age group just 50 years ago(Ludden, 2011, The
Morning Edition). Along with those lines, the study shows that more upper class people are
being married than people in the working class. This may be because many people think that all
marriages end in divorce and they dont want to be already divorced in their 20s like Ann
Patchett. Because as we all know, break-ups are not a fun thing to go through. Theres crying,
missing the other person, wondering what happened, and sometimes even being mad and
potentially thinking that they arent good enough. But, there is science to potentially help with
the grieving process. In a study done by Grace Larson, talking about a past relationship and
answering the really tough questions, can actually speed up the process of getting over a
relationship. Being able to talk with a friend, especially one experienced in break-ups or one that
recently has become single as well, can help the emotions of the entire turmoil. But, there are
certain aspects of relationships as a whole that could speed up or cause this occurrence to never
take place. A big reason that relationships are lost is because of a distraction. Distractions cause
many relationships to unfold and they can be anything from other people, work, difference in
opinion and hobbies, or the smartphone/computer. Technology now a-days is one of the biggest
issues detracting from a couples time together, it could be intimate time, dinner, and especially

time in bed when you should be having a conversation with one another. An idea researched by
Alison Bruzek in a study on NPR found that the two biggest distractions for couples is number
one, the computer and number two, the smart phone. She says, that if you really want to perk up
and add some electricity to your relationship, then put away the technology and see what
wonders it does.
There are many different aspects of relationships that may add or detract from the relationship as
a whole and a few of these conditions are the ideas of love, partner effects, and the idea one or
both partners may have of a strictly friends with benefits relationship. Love is something that
is always talked about and is sometimes misunderstood. Emotions go hand in hand with love,

Commented [10]: Good job citing your sources

throughout the paper, but what are your thoughts as
well as the sources. In the rubric it asks what we think.
And if you do change some stuff and put your thoughts
down, try to make it clear that it is coming from you and
not a source.
Zach Funderburke

and our emotional signals from the brain trigger reactions the entire body, therefore changing our
feelings so that we can deal with a certain situation. In a study done by Shots on NPR, they
found out that love warms and enacts almost our entire body. It can make you so happy that
nothing can bring you down and feeling like youre floating on a cloud. These emotions,
feelings, and attitudes can add to the idea of partner effects. Partner effects is the idea that one
partner can be effected by the behavior and feelings of the other and vice versa. This means that
if one partner doesnt like what the other does or seems to be distant for some reason, the other
may find something they dont like and also become slightly distant as well. On the other side of
the spectrum, if one partner is very into something, the other will start to become okay with it or
even like it even if they were not in favor of it before. One thing that is a tough subject and is one
thing that many people may not agree to in relationships is the idea of being only friends with
benefits. Friends with benefits is the idea of having a relationship with someone (generally a
friend prior) that there are no emotions at all, just a physical connection and nothing beyond that.
This is a very controversial form of relationship in todays society. Many say that it wont stay

Commented [11]: I really enjoy how smoothly you are

transitioning from different subjects. You give a
example from one then explain how it correlates into
another one. I think you have done a awesome job so
far at turning your source citation into paragraphs.
Dillon Foreman

only physical, others say you wont be friends afterwards, and many people are against the idea
in its entirety.
The majority of the show Friends is about romantic relationships and who is going to get
married and who isnt going to get married at all. From my observations, the show has all aspects
from my other sources in it. The main struggle is to be able to make relationships work and to
find the right person. Part of it is the idea of a gay relationship (Rosss ex-wife) and the
struggles that come with it and some people not being okay with it either. Friends is probably
one of the first shows to show this outlook and show that it is not a horrible thing and also that a
gay couple can raise a child just as well as straight parents. Some of the reasons that it may not
work, is the relationship the characters had with their parents, if they had a bad relationship with
their parents, it might be part of the cause that they cant find common ground with their
significant others either. Sometimes, there are manners that you should follow when trying to
kindle a new relationship with someone. Certain things, like in the show, proposing to someone
after not seeing them for over a year, or being too stubborn or cheap to either want to pay or not
want to pay for a restaurant meal. Sometimes, there has to be a compromise reached and it must
be in the back of your mind not to try and move too fast through the relationship because it may
scare someone off, which is the opposite of the idea of the first few dates. Throughout the show,
there is a plethora of break-ups and relationships anywhere from Rosss three divorces, Joey
dating a new girl almost weekly, Chandler and Janice, and also Monica and Richard. Even
through the process of breaking-up, sometimes it needs to happen and being able to talk about it
with people can help through the whole process. What the group of friends does is they sit down
together with a big tub of ice cream and they eat their pain away. A lot of times in Friends they
have one night stands and friends with benefits and it almost never works out for very long.

Commented [12]: Maybe somewhere give a

description of the characters. Kind of a summary of the
character list done in assignment 1. Because I have no
idea who the characters are.
Zach Funderburke

Normally, they break up soon after or they dont even continue to have a relationship afterwards.
But, when people fall in love it has an effect on the whole body where you feel extremely happy.
But to get to the point of love, you have to know manners in relationships and how not to go too
fast and for the couple to split the paying of the meals and whoever is the inviter should be the
one to pay for the meals.

Entering the Conversation:

In America, along with a lot of the world, the idea of a perfect or ideal relationship and marriage
is now changing. Gay marriage is a large discussion topic in mainstream news almost daily
especially over the last few years with the legalization of gay marriage, gay rights, and LGBT
equality and so on. Now, there are many TV shows besides Friends that advertise for the gay
community and make it a more known issue in society. This has been a problem because it is
challenging the generalized understanding of relationships because now gay marriage is being
celebrated instead of being frowned upon and illegal. This is one of the issues of relationships
that occurs in Friends. Through the shows assertion of this and other styles and aspects of
relationships, it challenged the previous understanding of what a relationship is supposed to look
like and entail.
Shows such as Modern Family and movies such as Friends with Benefits and No
Strings Attached are expanding on this idea of the newly changing relationship. We want for
people to be treated equal and it is becoming a more accepted opinion to think this way. Many
people use the coined phrase its complicated in our modern world to tell us that this idea is
changing from the past where there was no such thing as complicated, it was basically either
dating or not. We encourage people to be themselves and generally, do as they please as long as
its not hurting anyone else or themselves. Does this mean that the idea of the idea of a healthy

Commented [13]: Gay marriage has been talked

about repetitively throughout this paper. From things I
have heard about the show it is not about gay
marriage. I could be wrong but gay marriage was a
topic that I did not think was important when talking
about this series.
Zach Funderburke

and ideal relationship is going down the drain? Is it harder for our generation to know what
relationships were like in the generations before ours? No, we are just becoming more open
minded to differences in dating opinions and how we go about them.
This change from the generalized understanding of a hearty 1950s relationship to a
typical relationship in 2015 is telling us is that we are more open to other peoples views and
actions than in past years. Instead of judging people and writing them off, we are beginning to
accept these peoples views and being ecstatic that they are happy. Although some may disagree
with these certain aspects, it shows that we allow people to have their own opinions and decide
for their own how they went to treat certain things (i.e. relationships). So far I have been learning
about the difference in opinion of a healthy relationship between the different generations, and I
will now create a study to understand this concept more.
I would first visit a few different public areas on maybe a Friday night or Saturday so
there are many people of different ages to interview about healthy relationships and to make sure
there is no bias. First, I would make categories for four different age groups, one, 13-27 years
old, two, 28-42, three, 43-57 years old, and last but not least, 58 and up. Then, of these four age
groups, I would randomly select 100 people from each group (50 men and 50 women) to ask a
set of interview questions based on relationships from their generations adolescence and early
adulthood (16-25 years old). I would have a questionnaire of ten or so questions to get an
interesting understanding of that generations idea of relationships.
The questions would be as followed after I found out the persons age about the typical
relationship in their generation: What was/is the most common form of communication? What
was/is the idea of a fun weekend together? What were/are the views on gay couples and
marriage? What were/are the views of friends with benefits or sex out of dating or wedlock?

Commented [14]: Perhaps here you could include the

example of the U.S. Supreme Court decision that
occurred this past summer to show that we are in
changing times. You could add here how people of
different sexes have had an uphill battle especially in
this country. The decision was 5-4 so it still shows that
there are a majority of the American people who do not
agree.
Dillon Foreman

What was/is considered romantic? How often would/do you go on dates with the other person?
What manners or etiquette was/is expected of the opposite gender? What was/is the image of a
healthy relationship? What was/is the most common reasons for relationships to end? Lastly,
how do you think relationships have changed since then? Then, after all of my questions have
been answered by the groups and people that I needed, I would analyze the data to try and
understand if and how relationships have changed in the last half a century for a better
understanding of the concept.

Conclusion/So what?

The popular TV show Friends opened the country up to a new idea of the modern relationships
through its interesting take on gay marriage, friends with benefits, sex out of marriage, and
manners in a relationship. This shows that the concept of the ideal or healthy relationship
has changed in recent years.
So, I created a study to try and go more in-depth on this idea. I made a set of interview questions
for four different age groups to see what their generations views on relationships really were.
After collecting the data, I would analyze it and try and see what has changed in the dating scene
and how modern days views of relationships are similar and/or different. This is important
because no one has done a study on this topic or had this urgency to figure out the differences of
opinion in the different generations. There is plenty of knowledge to learn from after this topic of
interest and study has been completed. We could learn more about history, and be able to
influence a better idea of healthy relationships. Many people nowadays have marriage issues
because people cheat or stop being able to put up with one another, maybe if we had incite to
past marriages and how they succeeded, we could put that to use to help our future marriages.

Commented [15]: Did you find anything in your

research that proposed what made marriages last
longer in the past? Were there any religious or political
influences that was around more in past generations
that in today's society? Are there any people you know
(don't list them) who have been from a previous
generation that you could talk to that might provide an
answer ?
Dillon Foreman
Commented [16]: _Marked as resolved_
Commented [17]: _Re-opened_

Also, if we find out that generally past relationships people were happier, we could figure out
why and how to go back to those types of relationships.
What are we doing different from our parents and grandparents? What are the most common
issues of todays adolescent relationship? How can we influence upcoming generations to have
better, longer lasting marriages? These are all questions that many people would like to know the
answer to, before they have to experience another or even their first upsetting breakup or
heartbreak.

Works Cited Page

1.
Maanvi Singh. (2014) Young and in Love? Thank mom and dad, at least a little.
Shots Health News from NPR. National Public Radio. http://www.npr.org/sections/healthshots/2014/02/07/273169987/young-and-in-love-thank-mom-and-dad-at-least-a-little
2.
Ann Patchett. (2014) Patchett: In Bad relationships There comes a day when you
gotta go [Radio Author Interview]. In Fresh Air. This is the story of a happy marriage.
National Public Radio. http://www.npr.org/2014/01/23/265228054/patchett-in-badrelationships-there-comes-a-day-when-you-gotta-go
3.
Michel Martin. (2013) Valentines Advice: Love and Manners [Radio Series
Episode] Tell Me More. National Public Radio.
http://www.npr.org/2013/02/11/171704910/valentines-advice-love-manners
4.
Hughes, Morrison, and Asada. (2005) Friends with Benefits [Document] We are
friends, lets have sex! Yolasite.com. Google Scholar.
http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&q=friends+with+benefits&btnG=&as_sdt=1%2C34&a
s_sdtp=
5.
Jennifer Ludden. (2011) When it comes to Marriage, Many more say I dont
[Radio Series Edition] The Morning Edition. National Public Radio.
http://www.npr.org/2011/12/14/143660764/when-it-comes-to-marriage-many-more-say-i-dont
6.
Alison Bruzek. (2014) Want to perk up your love life? Put away the Smart Phone.
[Radio Series Episode] The Morning Edition. National Public Radio
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2014/12/03/368213774/don-t-let-technoference-ruinyour-love-life
7. Michaleen Doucleff. (2013) Mapping Emotions on the Body: Love makes us Warm All
Over. Shots Health News from NPR. National Public Radio.
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/12/30/258313116/mapping-emotions-on-thebody-love-makes-us-warm-all-over
8. David A. Kenney and William Cook. (1999) Personal Relationships. Volume 6 Issue 4. Online
Library. http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1999.tb00202.x/pdf
9.
Princess Braxton Davis. (2010) the social Psychology of love and attraction. Volume 14
Issue 1. Grand valley State
University.http://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1235&context=mcnair
10. Assignment One. Adam Bennett. (2015)

Commented [18]: Coming from past experience in my

research papers from high school, I'm pretty sure the
works cited page should be in alphabetical order.
Sometimes its based on which one is use the most but
a base line setup is alphabetical order by author name.
i would ask Ashlyn before making any changes.
Walker Yates