Kegan Jenkins

Scriptwriting
Dr. Kerry Graves
22 September 2015
(A woman, SERENA, illuminated only by moonlight shining through the
window, hunches over her ironing board, ironing a white shirt,
tears stream down her face. She has on a white sequin dress and
soiled bedroom slippers. She stops her ironing to examine a beautiful
engagement ring on her hand. Suddenly. there are headlights through the
window. She hurriedly tries to take of ringbut its stuck. After much
struggle the ring finally flies off and lands in the fish aquarium on the
table just as her boyfriend, JACE, enters.)
JACE
(Enters Home) Hey, guess who finally made it ho(sees her and stops) Woah, look at you! You
look stunning! Wait were you crying?
SERENA
Uhhhhh.yeah.I.was.ummmm
JACE
(Cuts her off) Was it another one of those animated movies?
SERENA
YES! Yes, yes, yes! Horton Hears a Who again. Gets me every time. Im so silly.
JACE
Yes, you are. (Laughs) I still dont get it, that movies not even sad.
SERENA
Exactly! It ends happily ever after, just how you want it to. The opposite of how reality works.
So, even though Im happy everything worked out for all the characters, I start become
increasingly bitter because I realize Ill never get live in Hortons world and be friends with all
the little fuzzy, animated, creatures. And thats some depressing shit. Could make me cry any day
of the week. And on top of that, being a woman under 55, the A person is a person no matter
how small message really hits home.

JACE
I honestly dont think anyone has put as much thought into that movie as you. So, whats up the
getup?
SERENA
Its date night! Remember?
JACE
Yeah but we usually go to Buffalo Wild Wings and something about that outfit doesnt scream
Eating boneless wings, sitting at a bar, and watching hockey to me. Did you have something
else planned?
SERENA
Ohwellnot really. I just found this old dress in the back of my closet and thought maybe we
could do something a little nicer for a change!
JACE
But that dress still has the tag on it.
SERENA
Ohyoure right, it does! Uhhhh I must have never wanted to forget the deal I got! You know
Im a sucker for bargain!
JACE
Really? It looks like such an expensive dress! How much was it?
(He reaches for tag.)
SERENA
NOT IMPORTANT
(Rips off tag)
Ya know, I just realized how incredibly tacky it is to keep tags on your clothes. I mean, who
does that?
(Throws tag in garbage.)

JACE
Were you ironing? I didnt even know we had an iron board. Or an iron.
SERENA
We didnt. I bought them today. I was just in the mood to be the perfect housewife. I mean
Person. House person. But look at me babbling on about myself like usual, when I havent even
asked how YOUR day was!
JACE
Oh. Well it was long. Like usual. I would have been out hours ago, but Rob was trying to be a
smart ass again and
SERENA
(Cutting him off, not really listening)
Thats nice nice, honey. Now dont you think you should go freshen up a little? We want to make
it to dinner at a decent hour!
JACE
Oh okay. Sure. Just give me a couple minutes and Ill be ready to go!
(He Exits)
SERENA
(SERENA runs to the fish aquarium and sifts around in it until she plucks
the ring from the water. She hurries to the sink to rinse it off)
Oh thank God, I almost really blew this
JACE
(Enters) Is this shirt fine?
SERENA
(Taken off guard by his entrance, SERENA, accidentally drops the
ring in the sink. Down the drain. She screams.)
AHHHH FUCK! MOTHER OF GOD! NOOOO!
JACE
I didnt think it was THAT bad.I guess I can change

SERENA
No, no, no! You look great! I was just upset because.becauseI realized I didnt get my nails
done! Do you see these? I have the finger nails of an adolescent boy with an excessive chewing
habit.
JACE
I think you may be overreacting a littlebut that IS your way after all. Okay, just one more
minute and Ill be ready to go!
(He Exits)
SERENA
(Pacing) Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. What have I done? Im the biggest klutz in the
entire world. Who would want to marry me? I drop or break or lose or spill on or shred
everything important. Why God, WHY ME!?
(JACEs phone chirps with a text message, SERENA walks over and picks
it up. She reads aloud.)
Hey man, do you think I could swing by and pick up that ring now? Huh. Why would Rob be
picking up my ring? OH! Maybe hes getting it sized! It was too small after all.but then how
will he be able to propose tonight??
JACE
(Enters) All ready! (Pause) Oh, did someone text me or something?
SERENA
Oh, ummm, I dont know. I was just..taking a selfie. So cute, right? I set it as your wallpaper,
here ya go!
(Hands him phone)
JACE
Very cute, babe. Oh shit, Rob! I totally forgot!
SERENA
Something wrong?

JACE
Its Rob, I cant believe I forgot to tell you! Hes proposing to Claire tonight! Isnt that great?
Ive been holding on the ring for a few days so she wouldnt find it snooping. I thought he was
being overly precautions but. babe, are you okay? You dont look so good.
SERENA
Im fine..just need to breathe.totally fine. Not freaking out at all.
JACE
Im confused
SERENA
I uhhhh.I found the ring.
JACE
Ohhhh, and you thought I was proposing to you? Duh! Why didnt I see it before? That explains
all this strange behavior. Im sorry, babe. I promise Ill get you an even better ring someday! It
was a pretty nice rock though, dont ya think? I was shocked Rob actually picked out something
nice. Lemme go get it.
SERENA
NO!! I mean, you wont find it. Its uhhhh down the drain
JACE
WHAT!?
SERENA
Im sorry! I was just trying to wash the fish water off
JACE
Fish water?
SERENA
LONG STORYthat ends with me being the stupid klutz I always am. This is why I cant have
nice things.

JACE
Well, no need to freak out. Well just call a plumber. Its nothing that cant be fixed. Rob might
not be able to propose tonight, but that just gives him another excuse to procrastinate. Which he
loves.
SERENA
Oh GOD. I just realized I sent Claire a picture of myself with the ring on! I was so excited I had
to tell someone! Fuckity fuck fuck.
JACE
Oh, great. Did she respond?
SERENA
Ummmmyeah. She said It could have been bigger. But itll do.
JACE
Nice.
SERENA
Hey, I think the fact that Rob got an itll do out of Claire is an accomplishment. Instead of the
take it back immediately one would expectOH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A
CRACKER!!
JACE
Im almost afraid to ask.what now?
SERENA
I cant return this dress. I took the tag off.

THE END