Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Right Hook Life
Right Hook Life
Right Hook Life
Page 2 of 46
2015Rodney King
But somehow, I beat the odds and proved everyone wrong. Although I
didnt know it then, through my passion for martial arts and the lessons
learned on the mat, in the ring, and on the streets, I would reach the
pinnacle of personal and professional success.
Page 3 of 46
2015Rodney King
Table of Contents
02
05
3. Intentional Success
20
26
32
6. Final Thoughts
43
45
Page 4 of 46
2015Rodney King
There I was, 20 years old, fresh out of the military, standing outside a
nightclub as the bouncer. Did I mention that the entrance age for the
club was 24? Yeah. I was shitting myself.
Lets just think about that for a second. I was the kid who was bullied
relentlessly. Having my head flushed in the toilet and being cornered on
the way home and beaten senseless were daily occurrences. Things got
so scary that I started to skip school, feigning dozens of made up
illnesses. When I saw the bullies coming my way, I would search for an
escape route and haul ass, running as fast as I could, only to hear them
laugh and heckle me as I did.
Page 5 of 46
2015Rodney King
My first night on the job, shit started with a group of guys whod been
drinking way too much and decided it would be fun to pinch a girls
butt as she walked by. Needless to say, the girls boyfriend wasnt
impressed. The call went out, and my fellow bouncers and I were there
in seconds to break things up. As we escorted the troublemaker and
his friends out of the club, the head asshole turned to me and said,
What the fuck do you think youre going to do, you little wanker?
Looks like theyre hiring children at this club.
The head asshole opened his mouth again and started to move toward
me with his hand beginning to raise up, and there it was mid-flight a
right hook aimed straight at my head. I ducked, popped up, and with
one well placed right hook of my own, I floored him. Twenty minutes
later, they still couldnt wake him up.
2015Rodney King
Although I cant know for certain, I can assume that as a fellow human
being, we share similar thoughts, sensations, and emotions. Some of
these emotions, such as fear, may arise from situations that remind us of
past traumatic experiences, or our thinking mind can talk us into a fear
state. In the latter scenario, what we tell ourselves internally kicks off a
fear response. In the former, our body responds first, only to have our
thinking mind classify that response as fear later on.
Looking back, the guy I faced that night was actually scary looking, but
he also reminded me of the guys who bullied me growing up. Before I
could even process why I was so scared, my body went into survival
mode as a way of letting me know, Weve been here before. I
immediately began scanning my body and mind to make sense of why I
was feeling the way I was, and my only conclusion was that I was afraid:
afraid that I didnt have what it would take to handle that guy. Luckily
though, I didnt have enough time to reflect on my fear in the moment.
In a way, that asshole did me a favor. His quick reaction time between
Page 7 of 46
2015Rodney King
Two lessons stand out from this experience, but they are also,
essentially, one. (Now theres a Yogi Berra-style statement for you!) Our
thoughts can trigger fear, or the physiological changes that typically
take place in a fear response can happen first, and we then interpret
them as signs of fear. They may seem different, but in fact, theyre
virtually the same. The common denominator in both is the story, or
narrative, we create. The story leads to fear, or feelings lead by a story
become fear. But heres the thing, and it may seem confusing at first: its
only when we begin with fear-inducing thoughts, or we interpret or
label a series of feelings as fear, that true FEAR emerges.
2015Rodney King
Although I survived my inner narrative that night when facing the head
asshole, things havent always gone so smoothly. Thereve been more
times than I can count when I was faced with the threat of interpersonal
violence outside nightclubs - when situations had dragged on long
enough for the narrative in my head to grow so powerful, so strong that I was mere seconds away from becoming overwhelmed with
intense emotional responses which wouldve rendered me useless. The
phrase a deer in headlights comes to mind here. You can become so
worked up by the story in your head that you can literally freeze, leaving
Page 9 of 46
2015Rodney King
2015Rodney King
responses are essential as they keep you alive and safe, but fear is only
fear because you created a story, a narrative around an experience that
you then label as fear. This is why fears are often said to be totally
irrational. To the thinking mind, however, giving strength to a story is
rational. The question, therefore, is: what can you do about it?
Now, I dont know about you, but Ive never had much luck with telling
myself not to be afraid. So often, you wind up with two conflicting
stories. One story tells you its rational that youre afraid of the situation
youre faced with, and another one tells you that youre being silly. So,
which one is it?
The best solution Ive found is not to argue with either story. Neither of
them is true anyway, in most cases. They are only interpretations being
sown in the mind that seem to be the right justifications in the moment.
If every fear story were accurate, you wouldnt be able to achieve
anything. Every day, people are faced with real fearful events but
manage to push through and succeed nonetheless. The question is:
how?
Most people just find a way to get through it. They develop a strategy,
mostly subconsciously. Most people cant even tell you how they do it.
But, what if they could? And what if you could recreate the same
Page 11 of 46
2015Rodney King
Step 1: The notion so often thrown around is that you can learn to
control your fear. Im here to tell you: that is utter bullshit. There, I said
it. Nothing irritates me more than when I see self-defense instructors
and self-help gurus peddling that nonsense. All it ends up doing is
making you feel like a loser when you cant control the fear. The fact is,
you will never be able to control your fear or any emotion, for that
matter. You cant control fear anymore than you can control what life
throws at you. In case you hadnt already noticed, life is impermanent
and imperfect. Nothing remains the same. Nothing ever goes exactly to
plan. Control is an illusion often conjured up in a misguided attempt to
avoid the fact that you cannot control anything.
For many people, the illusion of control feels much safer than accepting
the fact that they don't have any. But thats not their fault. No one is
ever taught what to do with emotions that become unhelpful. I want
you to get this into your head now: in its purest form, there is no such
thing as an unhelpful emotion. All emotions are inherently good. This is
often dependent on context, of course. If you were walking in the
woods, turned the corner only to find a grizzly bear staring you down,
and you felt no fear, you might think it would be a good idea to go up
and pet the bear. And we all know how that story would end.
Page 12 of 46
2015Rodney King
After two decades of intense martial arts practice and over 20,000
hours of sparring with people from all over the world - including world
champions, people who went on to compete in the UFC, and special
forces military operators - I can tell you with full confidence that just
because youre thinking or feeling a certain way, it doesnt mean you
cant get in the ring, do your best, and kick ass. Without exception, the
only time thoughts and feelings have caused me problems is when I
either tried to control my fear, anger, anxiety, etc., or I allowed my inner
narrative about what I was feeling to get the best of me.
Step 2: The physiological changes that happen in your body, which you
then define or recognise as fear, are going to happen with or without
your consent. Said another way, if we go back to my grizzly bear
example in which you turned a corner in the woods and ran into one,
tell me you're not going to instantly shit yourself. And now try to tell me
that somehow magically youre going to control that fear. Probably not,
right?
If you cant control your fear, or any other emotion (anger, anxiety, etc.)
for that matter, what can you do about it? I hinted at the answer in Step
1.
Page 13 of 46
2015Rodney King
As such, your first goal is to change your relationship with the emotions
that are holding you back. You must develop a subtle awareness of
what it actually feels like to be hooked by strong emotions. This starts
by learning how to notice feelings when they first arise. Returning to my
earlier example, when Im coaching around the world, and I feel the
butterflies in my stomach and the dryness in mouth, I recognize these
signals as the typical precipitants of a strong emotion, like anxiety or
fear. Noticing these feelings early on allows me to catch them more
quickly, before they consume me. With enough practice, you can feel
what will become fear before you even label it as such. The label is the
hook. Its our story, the narrative we use to describe and justify why
were feeling a certain way.
Page 14 of 46
2015Rodney King
Step 4: This step is all about what you do during the gap between
stimulus and response. Allow me to give you an example. Imagine this
scenario: I wake up in the morning in my hotel room. Today is the big
day. In 2 hours, Ill be in front of dozens of people who Ive never met
before, and Ill be sparring with all of them. Picture it: dozens of people,
all with amazing fight games, trying to punch me in the face. Now
imagine repeating that experience dozens of times throughout the year.
From the moment I begin to think about the upcoming event, even as
my eyes open, my physiology begins to change. But I immediately
recognize that the onset of these feelings is actually my entire
embodied self preparing to perform. Instead of creating a narrative
Page 15 of 46
2015Rodney King
Page 16 of 46
2015Rodney King
Outside the night club, when I threw that guy out, and he came back at
me with a right hook, I simply reacted from my fight training. In that
moment - and not even realizing it at the time - my thinking mind was
switched off. I didnt have time to overthink the feelings I was having.
The right hook coming my way simply didnt give me the opportunity
to. There was no gap. This is what I meant earlier when I said that the
head asshole did me a favor. If we had pushed and shoved each other
around for a while, as often happens scuffles, I may have begun to
interpret my thoughts and feelings as apprehension and fear and I
might have attached some sort of self-limiting thoughts to it.
I want to make this abundantly clear: its not whats happening outside
of ourselves thats the problem. Its not even whats happening inside
thats the problem. The problem lies in the ways in which we interpret
what happens to us, inside and out. Im not saying you shouldnt
acknowledge how you feel. I can label my feelings as fear, but as long
as thats where it begins and ends, I give no further power to my
feelings - especially not the kind of unhelpful power that attaches a
story or narrative to them - which has the potential to cause you to quit
or freeze.
2015Rodney King
Now, get out there and just fucking do it! Implement this four step plan.
Success is yours for the taking.
Something happens.
Page 18 of 46
2015Rodney King
Feelings/Sensations/Thoughts arise.
An emotional response begins.
You recognize it and label it, Ah, fear.
You dont do anything more with the label.
You stay with how youre thinking and feeling, without judgement
(i.e., no story).
You embrace the fullness of how you feel, dont run from it, and just
fucking do what you were about to do anyway.
Page 19 of 46
2015Rodney King
Intentional Success
Q: Hey, Rodney, what do I need to do to have an awesome boxing
game like you?
A. Simply dedicate yourself to the craft for four hours a day for the
next 10 years, and you will!
People usually get quite quiet after this or more often than not, its
common to have a barrage of excuses come flying at me.
Just the other day, I downloaded a free ebook about achieving success
in the inner game. The whole book was filled with affirmations. Really?!
Give me a break. How is memorizing a bunch of fake it til you make it
affirmations going to help you succeed? It wont, for two reasons. One:
Page 20 of 46
2015Rodney King
youre likely lying to yourself anyway. If you dont have the right skills,
knowledge, motivation, etc. - or you arent doing anything to get them
- lying to yourself wont magically create them either. Secondly, these
kinds of so-called success affirmations lack action. Repeating positive
mantras to yourself wont make you get your ass up off the couch and
make shit happen.
You want to make stuff happen? Want to achieve your goals and live
your dreams? Then start by setting an intention every single morning
when you wake up. An intention isn't an affirmation; its a plan. As I
always tell my students, Luck is for people who dont have a plan.
When I started boxing at the age of 16, everyone was far more skilled at
it than I was. I was training at a boxing gym in the midst of the city, and
everyone there was hungry to succeed as a way to get out of their
impoverished neighborhoods. My coach, Willie Toweel, didnt take
kindly to slackers either, so I knew right away that in order to not only
survive the training but also the sparring matches in the ring, I had to
develop a plan to improve.
2015Rodney King
down not only what I learned but what I needed to work on. I then set
an intention to develop specific parts of my game each and every single
day, no exceptions. This plan meant catching the first bus to town at
5:30 AM. It meant arriving late to school every day (when I actually
went) to face the wrath of the principal. But excelling at boxing and
martial arts was what I wanted more than air itself.
When you want to achieve success in a specific area of your life, it can
be overwhelming. What you see as the pinnacle of success can seem so
far away. Youre left asking yourself, How am I ever going to get there?
That kind of thinking can make you believe that the endeavor is simply
impossible. As badly as you want to achieve your goal, it seems
completely unattainable. What I learned about setting intentions for
boxing is this: although you have an end goal in sight, you want to
focus your attention on the process. The destination is important as it
keeps you focused on the end result (See vision board in Chapter 4),
but the journey is far more important.
2015Rodney King
Most people fall short of success because they want to start either
where success happens or one step away from where success is certain
(See the problem with perfection in Chapter 4). That would be like me
going into a boxing gym at age 16, something I had never done before
in my life, turning to the coach, and saying, Whos the champion here?
Put me in the ring with him. What do you think wouldve happened? I
probably wouldve gotten seriously hurt, beat up, quit that very day,
and abandoned my dream of mastering the sweet science of boxing.
The opposite is also true. Unlike those of us who jump in the deep end
too quickly, too many people wait for perfection. They spend so much
Page 23 of 46
2015Rodney King
time trying to make everything perfect before they launch into the
unknown that they never achieve anything because they never actually
go out and try to. This is why Im a huge proponent of deciding on a
goal, breaking it down into logical steps, and starting with things you
know you can achieve. And yes, it will take work, but focus on getting
those steps down and then move on to the next step. This is nothing
like waiting for perfection before you make a move. It is setting an
intention each and every day, an action plan, to work on things you
know you can achieve, and then as soon as you feel yourself getting it
(even if its not 100% perfect yet), you move to the next step. When you
add up all those small steps, before you know it, youve achieved your
goal.
2015Rodney King
So, what you waiting for? Pull out a piece of paper, write down your end
goal, and begin reverse engineering the process. If you dont know
what that would look like, ask someone or, better yet, ask a bunch of
people whove already achieved the goal youre striving for. What steps
did they take, from the easiest, most attainable ones to the most
complex. Then, set an intention each and every day to work though that
list, starting at the bottom and progressively moving up, week by week,
until (before you even realize it) youve arrived at your goal. Once
youve achieved it, choose your next goal and repeat the process.
Page 25 of 46
2015Rodney King
Our minds are naturally unfocused. I bet right now, as youre reading
this, youre thinking about other things, too. These days, most of us
cant stay focused on one thing long enough to see it through. Like
Page 26 of 46
2015Rodney King
A ritual is something you create thats intentional. Its what you do,
without question, each time you know you have to perform. In terms of
intention-setting, performance is in the action steps. Any time you take
action, youre performing, whether for yourself or others, and it takes a
decisive mindset to achieve. Once I learned that just showing up at the
gym and throwing on my gloves to spar was a bad idea, I began to
create a pre-sparring ritual. On my way to the gym, I would listen to a
specific music playlist that I created and only ever listened to before
sparring. My choice of music was focused on lyrics that amped me up
Page 27 of 46
2015Rodney King
and prepared body for action. (Just ask the guys who roll or spar with
me every week, they dread Eminem, but they are even more afraid of
Elvis.)
Rituals are like full body, mental and physical, inner warm-ups for the
fight ahead. Just like you would never exercise or spar without warming
up your body, you should never go into a performance, like speaking to
people who matter, a business meeting, a presentation etc, without
doing some inner warm-ups. Rituals get your head in the game. They
focus your mind on whats about to happen. Much like a pre-workout
warm-up for your body, rituals ensure that you dont injure your mind.
The fact that most peoples minds are all over the place all the time
means that its really hard for them to just switch on and become
Page 28 of 46
2015Rodney King
focused. We all know that we do our best work and achieve the most
gains when were focused. But because its so tough to lock into focus,
entering into something you know is important without an inner warm
up can be disastrous. If you typically second guess yourself in the
situation youre about to face, or your thinking mind usually goes crazy
with past or future thoughts, expect things to be even worse if you
dont set your mind for success before you start. This is why a ritual is so
essential. Its about setting your mind for success before youre called
upon to perform.
2015Rodney King
round. As they begin to think about what happened, they may get
down on themselves and frustrated with their performance. Not only
does this take their focus away from the present moment (See Chapter
1), it also ensures that they will go into the next round thinking about all
the wrong stuff and likely second guess themselves. I cant tell you how
many times this has happened to me, so I decided to do something
about it. I created a reset ritual, or between round routine, that allowed
me to let go of everything that happened during the previous round,
enabling me to become centred and stay present while avoiding
steering into thoughts of what might happen in the next round. Its like
having voodoo magic over your opponent. Harnessing this approach
can completely derail your opponent. Perhaps he performed really well
in the first round and thinks youll likely come into the second round
feeling slightly defeated, only to find that youre not. You are there,
baby, and 100% ready to go. Boooooooom!
This approach can be applied throughout your life, not just in the
boxing ring. Lets say youre in a tough meeting, things didnt go so
well, and theres a break before you have to go back in. Instead of
stuffing yourself with pastries or horrible cheap coffee, find a quiet
place and walk yourself through your reset ritual. When you have to
give your next presentation, don't go in cold. Make sure you do your
pre-presentation ritual. Your ritual can include whatever you like, as long
as:
Page 30 of 46
2015Rodney King
Its positive.
Its designed specifically to get you feeling pumped for the
experience youre about to have.
It's novel. Dont be boring. Create an experience that will tell your
whole being that its time to kick ass. Rituals can include music,
clothing, food, videos, etc. Feel free to combine them however you
like.
Its used only for that specific experience youre preparing for. Dont
use the same ritual for every important event. Doing this trivializes
the ritual and dilutes its impact.
Page 31 of 46
2015Rodney King
2015Rodney King
Living for the Booooooooom also means having grit, especially when
things get tough and dont go your way. (Welcome to life.) Its about
holding yourself accountable for your own actions, even when making
an excuse and blaming others is far easier. As a martial artist and coach,
I know that I cant ask someone to do something unless I'm prepared to
do it myself. When I tell my students whats required physically,
mentally, and emotionally to spar a tough opponent who has the
potential to kick their ass, I know from firsthand experience, because
Ive fought some of the toughest people on the planet.
There were tons of times when I was afraid, tons of times when I
believed I couldn't take on a particular opponent. But I did. What stood
out to me most was that I was never actually afraid of getting hurt, the
one thing I shouldve been afraid of. In fact, when my students are really
honest with themselves, they realize that theyre not afraid of being
physically hurt either. That's not what makes them afraid of sparring an
opponent.
Page 33 of 46
2015Rodney King
Our fears are almost always created psychologically and are often
completely irrational: the fear of looking bad in front of others, of
messing up and looking like a failure, of saying were going to achieve
something and then not doing it. Thats why its easier to create an
excuse - blaming others, circumstances, lack of resources, or lack of
know-how - than to say, I failed myself.
You can make as many as you like, but no amount of excuses ever
helped anyone overcome obstacles or achieve personal success. So, as
basic as it sounds, you can either make excuses and live a life of
mediocrity or accept life as imperfect and go for what you want.
Fearlessness is an attitude. It doesnt suggest that fear doest exist but
rather accepts fear as always there, like it or not. So, you can either
move toward what you want or allow fear to hold you back.
Page 34 of 46
2015Rodney King
realize the fatal flaw of this strategy, life will have passed you by and
windows of opportunities closed.
Page 35 of 46
2015Rodney King
I cant tell you how long it took me to fully grasp this. Im not even sure
I like the uneasy truth of it. But, anyone whos practiced martial arts and
Page 36 of 46
2015Rodney King
whos sparred with great skill knows that however successful you might
be in training, all of your training can quickly fall by the wayside the
moment you face a real opponent. In a real fight, with all of its
unpredictability and chaos, often the best laid plans of fighters instantly
evaporate. Sounds a lot like business and life, too, eh?
2015Rodney King
child comes home with a report card, parents typically focus more on
the Ds or Fs than on the Bs or As. As a child, youre sent for extra
lessons in the subjects youre struggling with. Instead of taking this
approach, Buckingham advises that parents focus on their childs
strengths: You grow the most in the area where you already show
some natural advantage, some natural area of talent or strength or
passion. That's where you start. And the research agrees. According to
a survey of more than two million people, Gallup researchers
discovered that while weakness-fixing can prevent failure, its strengthbuilding that actually leads to success in the short- and long-term.
The paradox, however, is that in order to find those strengths, you have
to be willing and allowed to make mistakes, to embrace imperfection.
Through this experience, you can discover what youre really good at.
So, while we strive for perfection in the future, we embrace
imperfection in the present, using it as building blocks for growth and
development. Research confirms, again and again, that superstars - in
any field - did not start out with overwhelming talent. Sure, they might
have started with a slight edge, but the real difference in the long run is
that they simply worked much, much harder than the rest of us. They
embraced their imperfection as well as their slight edge and built on
that. To be sure, this principle of building on imperfection applies to all
areas of our lives, including our hobbies and professions.
Page 38 of 46
2015Rodney King
At its heart, wabi-sabi implies not only that perfection is an illusion but
that trying to be perfect actually leads to stagnation, as Alan Watts
noted. While we may not live in a perfect world, we do live in a world
filled with possibilities. But moving from possibilities to real
accomplishments requires action, not action tomorrow when you think
everything will be perfect but rather action right now, when you know
everything isnt perfect. As bestselling author and personal
development trainer, Marie Forleo, noted, so many budding
entrepreneurs fail because they never get started. They are constantly
waiting for things to be perfect. As I mentioned earlier, perfection is the
enemy of action.
Page 39 of 46
2015Rodney King
I realize how scary this can be for many people. But its not their fault.
Theyve been conditioned to believe that everything has to be just
right before they can move to the next level. This belief is often
created by schooling and reinforced by parenting. As adults, we belong
to a society designed to ensure continued conformity. Every single
piece of advertising and marketing repeatedly tells us that imperfection
is bad and that perfection is not only possible but easily achievable.
Just think of the photoshopped models on the covers of magazines. We
all know that no one really looks so perfect in real life. Marketing is
designed to make us feel inadequate in terms of our own identities and
circumstances.
2015Rodney King
A good starting point is to accept the fact that just because something
might seem imperfect doesnt mean it's unworkable. Applying
knowledge, therefore, requires action. And action, by its very nature,
always takes place in the present moment, where neither answers (past)
nor questions (future) exist. The present moment is also precisely where
wabi-sabi resides. The beauty of imperfection, then, calls on us to fully
embrace the moment. And as anyone who has tried to live in the
moment realizes, it takes a lot of practice. You can increase your
chances of succeeding more in the moment if you follow the 4 ideas
presented in this ebook.
Page 41 of 46
2015Rodney King
Page 42 of 46
2015Rodney King
Final Thoughts
The 4 strategies Ive shared with you in this short ebook have helped
me achieve great success, as a modern martial artist, entrepreneur, and
now wannabe author. (Remember, I never finished high school.)
Ive used these 4 strategies to grab life by the balls and win
unconventionally. I say unconventionally because most of whats out
there in in terms of success strategies doesn't work. The strategies I
present in this ebook do, and Im living proof of that.
Of course, these 4 strategies are not the full story. There are many more
principles I share each and every day in my talks and coaching gigs
around the world. You can find out more about them here:
www.coachrodneyking.com or www.embodiedgrowthhacks.com
If you think you wont have the opportunity to train with me, even
virtually, then check out my book, Full Contact Living, where I share
even more strategies to right hook life:
www.fullcontactliving.org/book
Page 43 of 46
2015Rodney King
If youre into martial arts and using your martial arts game to become a
success in life, check out my online 10X Martial Arts Game membership
program here:
www.coachrodneyking.com/10-x-your-martial-art-game
Finally, if you have success with anything Ive shared here, please let me
know. I would love to hear from you. Now go out there, right hook life,
and nail it between the legs. I know you can.
To Your Success!
Rodney King
rodney@coachrodneyking.com
Page 44 of 46
2015Rodney King
After starting his first company at age 18, Rodney went on to develop
coaching courses for modern martial arts, leadership development, and
Page 45 of 46
2015Rodney King
Author, husband, and father of two boys, Rodney is one of the leading
experts in his field, a modern-day warrior who teaches the original
intention of martial arts as a life performance tool.
Page 46 of 46