APRIL 1, 2010
Point-Counterpoint: Should Ram have a PCP?
Here lie various articles of The Ram’s Point-Counterpoint. You probably did not read them, but they really contained many fascinating opinions . . . At least they were well-written . . . Well, they were written.
The PCP Is Sort of Good Forum for Student Thought and Differing Opinions
By SUNNY McSMILESVILLE
STAFF OPTIMIST
The concept of the Point-Counterpoint
is great, because it allows two sides of an is-
sue to be heard. After all, every issue has two
sides, even if no one happens to hold an opin-
ion that agrees with one side. Still, the Point-
Counterpoint lets people see that there can
be two sides to every opinion. Of course,
in the case of the Point-Counterpoint, one
side is often hard to argue, or superficially
supported, or badly written because no one
wants to write it, because no one in their right
minds would hold that opinion.
After all, some stances are hard for anyone
to agree with, and with the Point-Counter-
point, one person starts to argue this impos-
sible-to-agree-with side, and then he or she
realizes while writing it that, oh, wait, I am
actually wrong about this issue, but I already
said I would write it! Drats! Now what am I
supposed to do?
When the writer realizes this, he or she has
to try to add a lot of fluff and extra words and
superfluous phrases, however, as everyone
knows, students agree that, as my readers can
tell, it is quite difficult to try to make hard-to-
argue articles as long as the other article, so
they can balance each other out on the page.
Adverbs also cleverly craftily smartly proba-
bly always help with this nefarious impossible
agonizing space issue. After all, it is trouble-
some, difficult, frustrating and annoying for
the section editors to have to figure out how
to make it look like a 600-word article takes
up as much space as a 1,000-word article.
Sometimes the section editors try their
best to make articles of differing lengths ap-
pear even, but despite that, the page still
looks as lopsided as a one-eared chihuahua.
This is why fluff is as vital to a Point-Counter-
point piece is as is to a delicious fluffernutter
sandwich. Therefore, it follows that when the
fluff has been added, the Point-Counterpoint
has all the nutritional and gourmet value as a
fluffernutter does.
Staff Poll: When The Ram was polled,
seven staff members supported the PCP,
nine staff members were opposed, three
forgot we wrote the PCP, and four were too
hungover to comment.
PAGE 7
PHOTO BY JESUS/THE RAM
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No!
This mystifying dilemma often forces the By RICHARD GERE
writer to contradict him- or herself. Once STAFF GERBIL ENTHUSIAST
this happens, the article makes no sense. For
example, I just realized that I disagree with Enough said.
this stance on the Point-Counterpoint, but
I know I still have to write it, so actually the
Point-Counterpoint is the best idea ever!
However, I have only written a measly
380 words, so I should probably switch top-
ics. This is another tactic of the crafty Point-
Counterpoint writer, when he or she has
discovered that he or she has signed up for
a stupid topic. Just go off on a tangent! Who
needs logic? Non-sequiturs are in!
For example, did you ever notice that
sometimes when more than one rat scurries
around on the subway tracks, sometimes the
rats will start chasing each other? They splash
through rubbish-filled piles, and sometimes
the one being chased whirls on the other and
they have a subway-rat-showdown.
Like Point-Counterpoint writers, each
rat represents one side of the argument, and
then everyone can see them fight and can
decide for themselves who wins. That is why
the concept of the Point-Counterpoint is so
beautiful. It is inspired by nature, and the
battles that occur between animals. Natural
things are in nowadays, too.
In fact, a person could even claim that
Point-Counterpoints are organic! Nothing’s
added that might sully the animalistic con-
flict, the life-and-death struggle that is the
Point-Counterpoint. Logic, reason or sensi-
bly structured arguments are just so human,
so artificial. The Point-Counterpoint should
just flow, man, and be chill, you know?
There is no way to refute the perfection
of the Point-Counterpoint. Even if someone
tried to refute it, the Point-Counterpoint
would defy it, because of its logic-resistant
arguments.
Think about it. How could something as
natural as rats fighting on subway tracks and
as healthy as fluffernutters be a bad thing?
Clearly, the Point-Counterpoint is a good
thing and should remain part of The Ram’s
weekly structure.
Sunny McSmilesville. FCRH ’10, is a moti-
vational speaking major from Candyland. She Richard Gere is an American actor who never
can be reached at PrettyPonyPrincessXOXO@ went to Fordham. He does, however, enjoy play-
yahoo.com. ing with gerbils.