PAGE 14 • THE RAM • APRIL 1, 2010
That’s
So Po
MARY
PORPORA
Week 7:
Pretty Fly For a White Guy
Now usually I don’t do this but,
uh, go ahead on and break ‘em off
with a little previews of the remix
/ Wake up in the morning feeling
like P Diddy. Grab my glasses I’m
out the door I’m gonna hit this city
/ Who are you?
Who, who, who who? / Some
people call me the space cowboy.
Some call me the gangster of
love.
Some people call me Maurice
cause I speak of the pompitous of
love / Do you want to come to a
party? My friends picked me up in
their truck at 11:30. This thing’s at
a frat house but the people are cool
there / Check the mirror, lookin’
fly, round up the posse, jump in my
ride.
Radio rockin’ hottest jam, feel
the rhythm, pump up the sound /
First on the floor! You know that’s
me. Bustin’ out the moves like it’s
MTV.
I guess somewhere along I lost
my head then I jumped on the table,
this is what I said : / “Now if y’all
wanna party like we do, if y’all wan-
na party like us, lemme hear ya say
‘ah ah ah ah ah’, if y’all wanna party
like we do, if y’all wanna party like
us lemme hear ya say ‘ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah’” / Now that the party
is jumping with the bass kicked in
and the vegas are pumpin’ quick to
the point to the point no faking I’m
cooking MC’s like a pound of ba-
con / Baby girl, what’s your name?
Let me talk to you, let me buy you
a drink / Can’t you see sometimes
your words just hypnotize me and
I just love your flashy ways.
Guess that’s why they’re broke
and you’re so paid / Ha and y’all
ain’t even have to ask twice, you
can have my heart or we can share
it like the last slice / I, I will be
king, and you, you will be queen.
Though nothing will drive them
away, we can be heroes, just for one
day…
It’s 3 am and I want to go to bed
/ Don’t cry, don’t raise your eye. It’s
only teenage wasteland / Hey what
else can we do now?
Except roll down the window
and let the wind blow back your
hair.
Well the night’s busting open,
these two lanes will take us any-
where / Sorry I’m not home right
now I’m walking into spider-webs
so leave a message and I’ll call you
back / I’m sailing away, set an open
course for the virgin sea ‘cause I’ve
got to be free, free to face the life
that’s ahead of me.
On board, I’m the captain, so
climb aboard, we’ll search for to-
morrow on every shore.
And I’ll try, Oh Lord I’ll try, to
carry on / I listen to the wind, to
the wind of my soul. Where I’ll end
up well I think, only God really
knows / And one day we will die
and our ashes will fly from the aero
plane over the sea, but for now we
are young, let us lay in the sun and
count every beautiful thing we can
see / Before me there was many; af-
ter me there will be none. I am the
one / The song is over.
Randomness: now that’s so Po!
CULTURE
Eating Out: Das Foo Kim Long Haüs
bright lighting creates a relaxed yet energetic atmosphere. What Das Foo
Kim Long Haüs lacks in size, it makes up for in service. Upon entering the
Haüs, the friendly and efficient staff received our party with enthusiasm.
Donning silk lederhosen and traditional jin hats, the ethnic staff exemplified
cultural stereotypes, but was not over the top.
The best part of Das Foo Kim Long Haüs, of course, is the eating. To
warm up, we ordered the Drunken Boo Ti Noodles. The noodles them-
selves were a little limp, but the Boo Ti, a rare and flavorful delicacy, made
them more than satisfactory nonetheless. The dish took Drunken Noodles
to heart in the spirit of “Germese” fusion, as the noodles were served in a
Heineken batter which made for a truly authentic experience.
The highlight of the evening, however, was the Kum Ming Weiner. The
12-inch weiner came smothered in a wet and creamy sweet-and-sour sauce,
nestled in a soft and scrumptious bun.
The waiter warned me to use precaution since it would be messy, and he
was certainly right. As I wrapped my mouth around the gargantuan piece of
meat, the exotic and delectable sauce trickled down the side of my mouth
and dripped into my lap, soaking my pants, but the mess was well worth it.
An even bigger sur- prise awaited me as
I bit into the weiner Overall – a biting burst of
zest exploded in Location my mouth, as the
COURTESY OF STIMULATING SERVICES, OR SO SHE SAID
weiner was filled Food Quality with a kung-po
Find pleasure at Das Foo Kim Long Haüs, which is located at 69 69th Street. kraut, another de- Atmosphere lectable lovechild of
“Germese” fusion. Hospitality The main course
was so big I didn’t Price $ think I could finish,
By CANDI MUSTERD
RAM FOODIE EXTRODINAIRE but the sweet al- (Out of 4 ’s) lure of dessert gave
me the motivation I needed to continue.
As the culinary capital of America, no New York City night is complete I ordered the Poo See Pretzel, an exotic twist on an old-time favorite, and it
without eating out. With so many options to choose from, it can be difficult was certainly the climax of the evening. It was undoubtedly the best thing I
deciding on just one. If that is the case, try your hand at Das Foo Kim Long have ever had in my mouth.
Haüs, a self-proclaimed “Germese” restaurant that fuses German and Chi- Das Foo Kim Long Haüs was so good I finished more quickly than I ever
nese cuisine for an unusual yet sensational eating experience. From weiner had. The entire meal cost me a hefty sum of $69, but it was certainly the
to won ton, Das Foo Kim Long Haüs, located at 69 69th Street, has some- best 69 I ever spent. The staff catered to my every need, and the food left me
thing for everyone to enjoy. smiling and satisfied. Even though it was my first time, my experience will
The restaurant itself is rather small – our large party had some difficulty certainly keep me coming (back) for more.
fitting in comfortably – and is cramped for space, yet still cozy. The dim yet That’s what she said.
Editor’s Pick: Georgetown
The President of the University Praises the Fellow Jesuit University
By JOSEPH M. McSHANE, S.J. thing! Not as girly as Fordham’s nifying glass and stop comparing bilities are endless! Anyone would
PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSITY roly poly pregnant and/or mor- the balloons at homecoming with instantly enroll the moment he or
bidly obese mascot, and Verizon the Ram’s pink orthopedic shoes! she caught sight of our brilliantly
My whole life I’ve had this pro- is a much hipper brand name that As a side note, my life would also be crafted commercials. We could
found attachment to what I know Izod. While their cheerleaders may easier since I would be able to sleep show off our gorgeous campus with
to be the premier Jesuit university or may not be nationally ranked at late and not have to rise at the crack shots on the steps of the Lincoln
in the nation: Georgetown Univer- the moment, they do have the edge of dawn to host a big party for a Memorial and our classrooms that
sity. Having attended Boston Col- on the good-old FU squad, recog- bunch of high school dropout rock look shockingly similar to the inside
lege as a youth and subsequently nizing the distinction between OF- stars, but who’s complaining? of the Oval Office! What you see is,
doing something or another for Fense and DEfense and probably Finally, let’s get back to public without question, what you get, and
Fordham, I know that the ideal Je- not posing a threat in the halftime image, because isn’t that the whole Washington, D.C. just has so much
suit education can only be found at hot dog eating competition. point of having an educational to offer! Washington is my district,
a place where baseball has nothing While on the topic of school institution? The marketing possi- Georgetown is my school!
to do with my jokes and stories. My spirit, how about the logical poli-
true potential can only be reached cies they’ve got going on down
in a place where the weather would there! There’s that whole space
allow me to shut down my Univer- where people can protest freely
sity for four days in a row, not just a and no one gives a shit about what
useless snow day here or there. My they’re saying, while here at Ford-
true potential can be reached in a ham, students just don’t give a shit
place where my anecdotes would, about anything! They also have lots
once again, be fresh and comical. of entirely student-run clubs, ac-
My true potential can be reached tivities, and services that meet the
in a place where I would be ex- needs of the student body! Imag-
pected to hide the fact that I’m a ine if we tried to have a Grilling So-
Jesuit. Imagine a place where no ciety (http://gugs.georgetown.edu
one knows about that cura persona ) serving real food to our famished
or sappy doctors stuff. I’m there in students without the helicopter-
a flash! mom supervision of Mamma
Georgetown – or G’Town as I’m Mussi and Grandpa Gray! What
privileged enough to call it – has so an utter disaster we would have.
much to offer. Foremost, think of Students practicing common sense
how fantastic it would be to have and initiative without bureaucratic
your men’s basketball team royally meddling?!? Oh, no no no!
embarrassed on national televi- Blue. Gray. Own anything with
sion, not just in front of the hand- those colors? Pretty easy, right?
ful of hobos who happen to wander No need to worry about that PMS-
into the Rose Hill Gym. Talk about 209 or whatever it is that Fordham
publicity! No school would put can never get right when we order
hundreds of thousands of dollars something “maroon.” Consistency
into a program and expect not to in presentation is where it’s at, and
be laughed off the court in front of how could you not keep standard
COURTESY OF THE SUPERIOR UNIVERSITY
millions of viewers across the coun- navy and gray consistent through-
try at a minimum! Plus, a Hoya out campus?! Boy, would my job Fordham University pales in comparison to the esteemed Georgetown Uni-
is such a cute little bulldog-esque be easy if I could put away the mag- versity for Rev. Joseph M. McShane, S.J., president of the University.
 CULTURE APRIL 1, 2010 • THE RAM • PAGE 15

Stephanie Meyer to Release New Book what’s

?
Know “what’s going on”
on campus or in NYC? Going
Midnight Sun Is Slated for a September 2010 Release Send tips, event listings, or comments to theram@fordham.edu.
On
By KRISTEN PATTINSON
RAMPIRE
complete Midnight Sun and publish
it for the public to read.
Midnight Sun is the companion
saga, Meyer will be going on a
book tour which will make stops
in New York, Boston, Washington,
01 New York’s
Detailed History of Everything
1 You Will Get Lost St.
THURSDAY

The long wait is finally over;
author Stephenie Meyer has an-
nounced the release of her new
book, Midnight Sun. The book is
novel to Twilight, which provides
Edward Cullen’s point-of-view on
the events that took place in Forks,
Wa. Meyer wrote Midnight Sun
D.C., Houston, Las Angeles and of
If you would like to go broke just to learn a few trivial
course, Forks. Each stop will fea- facts, check out this overpriced feature at a snooty museum.
ture a reading from Midnight Sun, a
question and answer session, and a

scheduled to hit shelves on Sept.
13, 2010.
It was unclear whether Meyer
would finish the book after an in-
complete draft was illegally leaked
onto the Internet in 2008.
“I feel too sad about what has
happened to continue working on
with the intent on giving the avid
fans an inside look into Edward’s
mind and to help explain why he
takes certain actions that, at times,
seem odd.
Meyer has definitely outdone
herself with the latest installment
of the Twilight saga, with this book
02
book signing.
A complete signed set of the Twi- My Theories on the World:
FRIDAY
light saga will be raffled off to one Dr. H. U. Everr
lucky fan at each stop. Two of the 2 (-5) Ave.
six winners will then be randomly
Having trouble sleeping? This lecture will do just the trick
selected to meet the cast of the
and will bore you until you sleep like a baby.
upcoming movie, Eclipse, and will
have the opportunity to appear as

Midnight Sun, and so it is on hold
indefinitely,” Meyer said in a state-
ment.
After continued fan mail and the
success of both movies, Twilight
and New Moon, Meyer decided to
reaching well over 900 pages. Mey-
er explained the potentially exces-
sive length due to the fact that,
“Edward over-thinks everything.”
In addition to releasing this
final installment of the Twilight
03
extras in the fourth movie install-
ment, Breaking Dawn.
Modern Art SATURDAY
from a Fancy Perspective
Stay updated with more news on 3 You Can’t Find It St.
the upcoming release at Meyer’s
Web site, www.stepheniemeyer. For those of you who enjoy getting lost in obscure parts
com. of the city to see a horribly under-advertised art show, check
this exhibit out.

04 Top Million Films

of All Time Series
4 6.337 Ave.
SUNDAY

In the off chance you don’t want to watch your NetFlicks,

head over to this random movie theater and watch an even
more random playing on TCM at the same time.

05 Everyone on Top 40
Live in Concert
That Famous Stadium
MONDAY

Even though you clearly already know about this over-

priced, sold-out concert, we’ll put it in so you can remember
how you don’t have tickets.

06 I Make You Feel Cultured

6 ¾ Ave.
TUESDAY

Even though CAB is selling tickets to this same Broadway

show, we’re going to mention it without relating it to CAB
at all.

07 Liquored Up
7 Are You Directionally Challenged St.
WEDNESDAY

Check out this inappropriate party, which we’re only

mentioning because we feel bad about all the other crappy
SPARKLY SULKING PICTURES SERVICE
choices.
Robert Pattinson fans are sure to go crazy at the prospect of another movie in the Twilight saga, based on the upcoming
Midnight Sun.

Ram Reviews
TELEVISION BOOK SONG STORE MOVIE
HOUSING LOTTERY “The Wheels on FORDHAM ALVIN AND THE
“TELETUBBIES”
BOOKSTORE CHIPMUNKS: THE
the Bus” by Barney SKQUEAKUAL

I will admit, I was wary when I
first turned on the show. After all,
I knew the language barrier would
be a little tough, and I was uncer-
tain about how the fashion choices
would work, based off pictures I
had seen beforehand.
Thankfully, my fears were gener-
ally unfounded. The interaction of
the characters—kept daringly sim-
ple—added a thought-provoking
element, and the fashion, and espe-
cially the trendy floral setting, only
enhanced the package. I wish PBS
had fleshed out the characters a
little more, as they still seem a little
one-dimensional, but the plot was
mercifully straightforward and did
not feature any unnecessary filler.
Though I am only barely into this
season, I am intrigued by the cur-
rent plot arc, and cannot wait to see
where it will end up.
Usually, I’m not one to pick up
mailed solicitations. How they get
my name kind of creeps me out,
and generally they only ask for
money. Not that this case is any dif-
ferent, but Housing Lottery was dif-
ferent for me, and provided several
hours of entertainment.
Rather than being broke down
into completely user-friendly seg-
ments, ResLife chose to add a layer
of suspense, with to whom to make
out checks conveniently placed on
the underside of the sheet attached
to the back of the first sheet, it re-
ally entices the reader, and makes
them want to read it completely
through.
I don’t know if I could read this
again, as the twists and turns are no
longer novel, but for a nice psycho-
logical challenge, give this pam-
phlet a read.
Sure, Lady GaGa and Britney
Spears may be turning heads with
their racy lyrics, but this classic,
redone by the ubiquitous purple
dinosaur, reach a deeper level than
do the Top 40 fare.
As the song progresses through
each activity of the bus, the bus
driver and the bus’s occupants,
the verses become steadily more
detailed. I found myself getting in-
volved in the storyline, and could
not wait to see what would happen
next. The ending was shocking but
pleasing–the quintessential happy
ending to an exciting, riveting tale.
Barney added an extra element
to the story. Given his distinctive
voice, I was worried about how the
effect would be. Thankfully, it was
different in the best possibly way,
adding a distinguishing character-
istic rather than a jarring quality.
I am a bookstore junkie. Any-
time there is a Borders, a Barnes
and Noble, anything, I will spend
hours there. Unfortunately, there
are no such places in the Bronx, and
the library will not let me keep the
books I want, which sends me to
the next best thing: the bookstore.
The prices may be a little steep at
times, but I know I am more than
willing to pay for some of the in-
triguing reads they have. Econom-
ics for Beginners? Coffee-table
books? Even the picture books on
the value table look enticing!
Even the other products are to
die for. I almost fainted when I saw
the adorable plush ram keychains.
And the scotch glasses? Priceless.
Next time you want either a
book or just some creative prod-
ucts, walk over to McGinley and
check out the bookstore.
Everyone’s favorite Chipmunks
are back in this long-awaited sec-
ond installment of the Chipmunk
series. If the hysterical advertise-
ments played on TV weren’t proof
enough, the movie certainly deliv-
ers. The seamless plot twists and
the impeccable camera-work make
this film a sure Oscar contender.
Zachary Levi, from the popular
TV show “Chuck”, makes a pro-
found impact as the chipmunks’
cousin, Toby. Until this career-
altering role, Levi has been just an-
other comedic actor. Critics have
been raving about his powerful
performance as a man struggling
to take care of three very rebel-
lious chipmunks. Levi’s emotional
scenes with Alvin, Simon, Theo-
dore are real and heartfelt. With
acting as fine as this, the film is sure
to be a future classic.

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