I.

16th of October.

e were in the plaza. All of us were gathered here this evening. The
bonfire was the only thing that is so alive to me. Dancing with the
wind; burning on the chopped woods.

What happened in the morning suddenly hits me again: Days passed. My

mother was silently looking outside the window. She looks like she didn't have
any sleep last night. She smiles a little as she sees children running around the
village. I feel like there was a change, from the day that she had me and now.
Now feels like she's not her. She wasn't as blooming as before anymore. I still
wonder what she's thinking because at that moment she suddenly kept a
straight face, she probably had another nightmare last night that she won't care
to share with me. Our morning is quiet but unwelcoming.
"I've had a nightmare." She tells us, which surprised me a lot because she
doesn't really tell it aloud especially when I am with her. My father hugged my
mother so dearly.
"It is okay." He whispers.
Someone was calling my name and it brought me out of my wandering
thoughts, I see Karalita run to me. "Why didn't you tell me?" She cries so hard.
"You promised me! You told me they are going to come back!" She continues, I
closed my eyes and silently cried with her.
"You lied to me! You didn't tell me anything! Why? I should have known
earlier!" She cries so hard, it was the sad music enveloping our land.
It was too much. A week is too much. I couldn't handle it. It was only 6
days before when the morning shines so well and friendly but what has
happened now?
II.

6 o'clock in the morning. 10th of October.

In the morning, my father, Izeba, would always sit on top of the dining
tablewhich my mom doesn't really like but doesn't argue anymoreand
takes a cup of tea that he always wanted.
He sits there with his sturdy posture and eyes so bright while studying my
mother carefully in the distanceshe would always look stunningly beautiful

in his eyes. He smiles. He looks at her like she's a rubicund rose that grew in a
forest full of trees and other alien plants.
My mother, Sumbao, is silently looking outside the window. She wouldn't
normally sit with us, that's why our mornings are always quiet yet solemn. She
smiles as she sees the children running around the village. Ever since she had
me, my father said it made her felicitous.
"She's a very promising woman. I assure you." said Izeba, when I asked
him about my mother a long time ago.
My mother is a good dancer. She always dance with all the women in our
tribe when we have celebrations. My father would always be smiling when he
sees her dancinggracefully encapsuling the bonfire that was made.
"I don't know how or why did I became such. All I know is I'm learning
again." Sumbao tells me, when I was young because I always watch her dance
along and I may say she was the greatest.
She works in the fields as fast as she climbs up the mountain. After going to
the fields nor the mountains, when I was young, we dip ourselves in the stream
and my mom would always ask me if I was alright in which I nod in return. We
never usually talk about our lives, she never asked about my friends or what
has happened the previous days. But she would always tell me that she is
blessed to have me. Sometimes, I would do the same thing and tell her she's a
great mother. But most of the time, I really don't ask her what has happened
today as well or something else about her life. As I grew up, of course there
was always an urge to ask her but, I feel like it was just completely
unnecessary.
When both of us walk back home, I would hear her whisper to herself: "It
feels like I have done so much of it before." but as we walk along, I keep
myself shut.
I wonder what she was thinking because she suddenly kept a straight
face, she probably had another nightmare last night that she won't care to share
with me. Nonetheless, I didn't mind because it looked like it wasn't actually
bugging her completely.
My father would always talk to her anyway. They always have so much
time together lately. My father actually saw my mother in the North, he told me

she was found unconscious and helpless. Blood was dripping down her face,
cuts were all over her body and he couldn't quite describe how badly she
looked that moment. But they let her establish her new home in this tribe.
When she was asked about her past, she couldn't answer.
I stroll around the village after breakfast. I usually roam around the
village every morning, in the afternoon but not much in the evening, greeting
every man who guards around the place. My father always stay at home with
my mother for some time before he would stroll around our village.
When it's late in the afternoon both of them would go to the kubo,
where most of the meetings are conducted. Both of them would be talking
about their lives. But mostly, they share ideas on how we are going to serve our
people. When the elders start to pack the kubo, my father would always let my
mother go home and get two men to guide her home, for my father was an
overly protective man.
After I stroll around in the morning, Lawagan, a friend of mine, would
go to the fields with me. Lawagan was adopted by Anaia, one of our elders,
when she was found in the stream 5 years ago.
"I cannot remember. I don't know who were they or who sent me here."
Lawagan said when I asked her about her family when first met her.
She is the only person who understands me most of the time.
I never really talk so much but she is not bothered by the silence between
us. She always wanted to guard around the village at night. But I tell her it's
dangerous. We usually chop woods for fire for she was strong and has a body
built for serving the village. Although, most of the time, she doesn't act like
she's a woman, I may say she was charismatic and beautiful as my mother.
"These are good enough for three days." She says when she's too tired to
chop the woods. But the chopped ones were actually enough for 6 days. She
wraps them on bundles by bundles.
"These are too much. We could use them for six days." I tell her.
"These are not only for us." she says, "Others can get some for their
families." She continues, smiles at me and lifted a bundle.

Family, I whisper to myself. Even though she doesn't remember, she

considers everyone here as her family. She left and I see her getting out of
focus. I smiled. She's one of a kind, I say.
It was late in the afternoon when I saw a little girl standing below a tree.
She seems to be lonely.
"Why are you crying?" The little girl didn't answer; she didn't seem to
recognize my presence at all.
I kneeled down to look at her eyes and they were puffy from crying, though
she was silently crying, the sight of her pains me. Why would this little girl be
out of their house alone? Crying, and looking so lost in the world she used to
live in? Though, I tell myself: She's just probably lost.
I touched her gently on the shoulders but she backed away. As she cries
harder, she says, "My mama, and papa..." stuttering, "They never went back
home to check me. I waited from morning 'til afternoon, they said they will
come backthey promised, but they never did."
"Do you want me to guide your way back home? Probably, they would be
home after awhile. Are you lost?" I asked, in which she answered: "No. I told
you! I am not lost of place," she tries to answer firmly but failed, she was
drowning in tears instead.
"I am lost of loved ones." she continues.
"Come here," I tell her. Letting her sit on my lap. I did not know how to
actually handle situations like this.
"Everything's going to be okay. Just come with me, okay?" It was painful to
see a little girl like her to be so sad.
"They are going to come back, I promise." I say even though I can't
guarantee her that they will.
"Really?"
"Yes." White lie, I tell myself, but with that, she nods and stopped crying a
little. I held her by the hand and we started walking to the kubo.

I tried to change the ambiance by asking her random questions and,

fortunately, she answers. She is the only daughter of Julio and Catar, named
Karalita. "And I am 7 years of age!", she says enthusiastically like she forgot
about her parents. Their house is located near a stream wherein you could see
the great mountains heading for the tribes of the East, and she was all too jolly
to share her memories with her parents.
"What is it in that box you are holding?" I asked her suddenly. I was kind
of curious of what was inside the box. It was the only thing she didn't basically
talk about but is something that she's got all along.
"Nothing. This box is empty." She says and went silent after. She looked at
it dearly.
When we reached the kubo, I saw my mother and father talking. Clearly,
the elders weren't there. Both of them looked like they were worried. My
parents went out after they saw me. Sumbao gasped after.
"Where did you find her?" Is all my father could utter, while he looked at
the girl with much intensity.
"She was crying below a tree near our house, father." I told him and he
nods.
"Let her be in Lando's place for a while and let her rest. I think she would
be safer in there for a moment." said Izeba, like he knew something wasn't
right.
Before leaving, Karalita held the box up to me. "I might lose it, I don't want
to. Could you please keep this box in a safe place for me?" I promised her I
would, and I held it tightly.
Two of the men lead Karalita to Lando's house.
"Both of her parents went to the North without them knowing." My father
whispers at me when Karalita was out of sight. I nod. "They were both dead."
He added.
The box suddenly got out of my grasp and written I love you from her
parents on a paper, and a necklace were scattered all over the soil.

III.

8 o'clock in the evening.

I am with the elders in the kubo. The wind gusts, blowing the trees,
making sounds strongly for short periods of time--I always get that strange
feeling inside my stomach that I can't even fathom. My father massages his
temples and sighs loudly in the quiet venue, I study him as he closes his eyes
firmly. After all these years, I didn't even notice that he was getting old. I have
never seen him so shell-shocked about something, he is as if he's fallen into an
abyss full of silhouettes he can't even comprehend.
For 15 years, our tribe together with other tribes are not in good terms.
Everyone wants everything, they turned out to be selfish and greedy because
over the course of 15 years, there's still wanting to have the power over the
whole capital; of wanting to be on the top. The resources seem to be not
enough for others so they start to overrun each other. Our tribe is one of the
most populated tribes in the capital, though large in number we are one as a
family. It scares me that maybe, just maybe, we will decrease in number due to
the disorderliness that arises from our own conflicts in the society. What makes
me a disconsolate being, even, is that we never get the luck to negotiate with
the other tribes that tries to overpower us. They were always a mess to me,
movements and plans, a total faux pas.
For 10 years, my father trained me to be tough, to have a critical mind, to
be able to be lead well as much as I can; to defend, and to fight with all of my
being. Though my father is too far from being deceased and is still so in force,
the pressure is laid upon me--expected to serve what is best.
Since I'm always caught between two stools, I ask myself: How?
"All we wanted is to have peace in our place," Gawiran, the head of the
elders, said as he stood up. "All we wanted is to have our own resources
back--" he stops and breathe further. "But, they can have those too, I don't care!
As long as we are not being intruded by these self-centered people!" He
continues, and the banging of the table envelopes the kubo.
"Did you see Karalita? Did you see that she was so lost when she knew her
parents aren't going to come back anymore? It was too painful for a little girl
like her to handle it." Gawiran was too depressed about the news that was
disseminated all over our place, which didn't really made me pleased as well. It
is never pleasing to have your people murdered without any valid reason.

"We have nothing else to do, Gawiran." said Galulo. "For years, we have
been trying to change and reach them out, but they never listen." I locked my
jaw and held the box tightly on my chest.
"Let's just keep our people safe and have our men guard our place, the
tribes in the North are totally dangerous and must be kept out of our area." My
father said, dismissing the council.
IV.

6 o'clock in the morning. 16th of October.

It is okay." He whispers.
"Someone was shouting Lumnay and the voice was like running straight to
me, wanting to be wrapped around me. But I run as well in the dream. And
then I saw a man, his features into silhouettes, his face was hard and strong but
kind. His muscles were taut and firm, skin glowing like bronze and he was
asking me to come back." My father now turned to sit next to her.
"But then he stops, the silhouettes stopped, there were screams. I see elders
laughing. It has been my dream for days now. And it bothers me a lot, it haunts
me." She closed her eyes tightly and let a tear drop off of her eyes. "What
struck me the most, for days of having this nightmare is that you died, Binpad."
She looks at me but I just went to her and hold her hand.
"I am here." I whispered.
"You were killed and they told me I wasn't capable of having a child. It felt
so real, Izeba. It felt so real." He wipes the tears out of her eyes and no one
dared to speak after.
"I feel sad for her, for losing her loved ones. I wish I had the guts to tell
her before." I tell Lawagan who sat next to me near the bonfire. It was late in
the evening already and still, all of our people were here with us. Karalita was
with Lando, and his son, who kept Karalita a good company.
"I was adopted." She says, of course she was. "I was adopted." She stated
again. "What are you saying?" I ask her but Lawagan doesn't answer so I
looked at her. The fire dancing in her eyes. She stares at nothingness though,
she never blinks, and the sadness slowly creeping her body.

It was contagious.
So, I stared, stared at all of the stars in the sky and wished it was like six
days ago. I sighed. I can't find the right words to describe how messy we are
now.
"We have intruders!" Shouted a man in guard. Lawagan came back into life
and grabbed a weapon like what I did.
"The other tribes!" Someone else shouted. I can see there's not much of
people from other tribes. Our people, especially the children crowded together
in the middle.
"Just relax," my father whispers, who is suddenly behind me. "Look, they
have no weapons." I stared and he was right.
"Where's mother?" I asked. "Don't worry she's in the kubo."
I turned to look at the others as well. Most of our men are surrounding our
women and children. "We come in peace." Someone stated. There were only
around twenty of them.
Why would they be here? I asked myself. With the light coming from the
fire we see their marks on their head dress. Clearly they are from the North.
But what do they need?
"What are you doing in here? What do you need from us? We have been
mourning from our lost." My father said, he didn't want to fight. He is
saddened by losing Julio and Catar. It wasn't right to fight at this moment for it
was a time to remember the people we have lost.
"You have killed two of our people." My father stated, "you are no
welcome in our land." There was no commotion. Everyone was quiet, but I can
feel the tension rising.
"We have come here to mourn with you from you lost." A man said. "No!
You killed my mama and papa!" Karalita shouted, she almost got out of
Lando's son's grasp, she actually wanted to fight them but she's no match for
them.

"You killed my parents!" Karalita shouts again. I went to them and calmed
her. Though, she was mad at me it was better to let her understand what is
happening.
"We didn't kill your parents." He says.
"Who are you?" My father asked.
"I am Awiyao, a leader from one of the tribes in the North. We come from
the farthest district in our place." Lawagan stood up, and I saw her mouth open
like she was shocked to see him. I heard her utter something but I didn't get it.
"You would want me to explain." Awiyao says, "Spill it then." My father
replies.
"I have traveled together with my men around the capital for weeks. As
you see, we aren't capable of fighting, we have lost our weapons when we went
along the journey. We have heard of your lost as we went around each district
and I am sorry for that. We are not like the tribes who fight for power. Our kind
wouldn't kill people, we have been setting protocols in our district for peace."
My father nods with his explanation. As I look at them closely though, some of
the men were full of cuts. "We were attacked by the other tribe in the North."
He says and it made sense somehow.
"Then, what do you need?" My father asks once again.
"I am just looking for someone is all, that's why I traveled with a few
number of my men." Awiyao stepped a little closer.
"And who is that?" Asks my father and looked around.
"My daughter who ran away from me. The child whom I loved deeply, she
was all I had and I am looking for her." He says sadly.
"What's her name?" But before Awiyao could answer, Lawagan ran and
hugged Awiyao.
"Father, I am sorry." She says. "I am sorry if I ran away because I knew I
was only adopted. Please forgive me." Awiyao's faced lightened up and he was
sincerely happy to see her again. I can't believe she actually knew everything. I
thought she can't remember, it all makes sense to me that's why she was

whispering to herself that she was adopted. I looked at Anaia though, he was
smiling a little of sadness but also happiness.
"I have no children, and Lawagan is the only precious thing that has
happened in my life. I adopted her because I wasn't able to bear a child with
my new wife. I was alone for years, getting insane each and every day. Thank
you for embracing her in your tribe." Awiyao says.
"I am just looking for one more person you might know. Only if I could
dance with her, just for the last time, I would." Lawagan got a little confused.
"I have loved a woman named Lumnay and for years I have been looking for
her. Lumnay, if you are there please come out." He begs.
"I'm afraid no one's named Lumnay in here." My father utters.
"No! That can't be! I've been all over the capital and this is the last district
we are going to visit. I just want to see Lumnay. She must be here!" He
shouted.
"Binpad! Izeba!" My mother got out of the kubo and ran towards us. All of
the people weren't scared anymore and they were watching as I do.
"Lumnay!" Awiyao shouted, and looked at her deeply. At that moment she
couldn't contemplate about anything and stared at Awiyao. It seems like every
memory came back to her and she couldn't utter any word. It was as if her life
today went back to the past. It was probably Awiyao who was calling her
Lumnay. Because she remembers. She did, she knew everything right from the
start. It was like learning the memories of those days. Now she knew why she
would utter, "It feels like I have done so much of it before."
"I am Lumnay." She says. And she really is.
It was then 18 years ago when she lost her memory, that's why when I was
born she felt so blessed but she didn't know exactly why she was blessed. She
would always tell me I was a Hope but I didn't understand why I was a hope.
Yes, I am the son of Lumnay named Binpad, and this is the moment where
I understand my mother's whole being. She was like the box that Karalita had.
There was always something in her.