The

Inheritance.
By Steven Donnini

Copyright 2010
Steven Donnini
I guess every family, at some point along the way has a

kind of inheritance issue. Some are simple and well planed.

Some are not and come completely by surprise.

One day at Madame’s Antique in Minneola, Texas the mail

delivery driver knocked on the front door with a certified

letter for Roberto Larva from an attorney in Corpus

Christi. The Attorney Melvin Locke III was a request for

Roberto to call his office in Corpus Christi within 10 days

regarding an inheritance from the late Mrs. Tarisha

Hernandez. Bob Larva had apparently come into some money

resulting from the death of his mother Tarisha who his

father had declared to the 7 children was a whore who had

left them for a truck driver in the late 70’s when they

were all just little kids.

Grandpa Larva was a bitter man. “Your mama just packed up

her clothing and walked out one day and drove off with a

truck driver. She never called or tried to contact us.

What a dirty wetback whore.”

It was by all accounts a pitiful scene. Seven small

Mexican children abandoned by their mother. They were on

their own. Mac was beside himself and no had no idea how

to take care of children so he moved around where there was

work in the farm fields in Texas. But always returning to

Corpus Christi where the Larva family had relatives who

could look in on the kids and provide some food and

clothing. But as Bob says, “We were on our own.”

The kids became resourceful and learned to be manipulative.

Bob was the 2nd oldest and when the Gulf War came the other

kids were old enough to handle things by themselves and Mac

was living back in the house with his new wife Big Mama.

Bob joined the Army and was shipped off to war. There was

many terrifying experiences Bob recounts about being in

Iraq. One is a source of nightmares where Bob is in a fox

hole on the edge of a desert village. Two hundred yards

away two people were bobbing up looking around behind a

pile of dirt.

But Bob frightened, high on pot and beer, fired at the two

villagers and killed them.

Bob had orders to not shoot at villagers because of the a

roadside massacre. Here villagers were killed because the

US infantryman, were stressed out. It turned out that they

were mother and daughter who were hiding from the troops.

Bob denied anything happened. Later, Bob was injected with

a chemical agent on several occasions. He believed this

was his Karmic payback for the killings. The Pentagon idea

was to Army using a chemical agent, so that the US B52 air

raids could see the troop movements and insurgents convoys

coming down from the Northern Iraq border. A couple of

things happened as a result of the bombing. One was that

the people on the ground could see the US Air Cavalierly

gun ships coming and could shoot at them with anti air

craft rockets and small firearms more effectively. The

other thing was in the long term chemical poisoning, that

they suffered. For Bob it was a pretty bad experience

except for the trips to the bars and whore houses in

Baghdad, what is know as the Green Zone. But what can you

expect from a 19 year old with a gun and access to arguably

the best Hash in the world, plus all the free beer you can

drink.

When he came state side, things had changed for the family.

All the kids had gotten married or moved to Saint Angelo,

Texas. Bob moved to north east Texas to find a farm to

settle into and forget the war. That’s when he met Martha

“Madame” King who was working in a farmers market packing

tomatoes. Her boss Jimmy Goldberg named her Madame because

her had an air of dignity even with her lowly job. Jimmy

introduced her to Roberto Larva, a very handsome young man

and capable farmer who delivered tomatoes to the farmers

market every week. They became fast friends and married

shortly after.

The inheritance letter from the attorney in Corpus opens

old family wounds between the siblings that were abandoned.

But still there was money to be had at a time when everyone

was needy. Bob and his brother Jose’ were the only ones

located by Melvin Locke III. So, they were appointed

spokesman for the family. Naturally, there were a lot of

mixed feelings about how a mother could abandon 7 small

children. But in her last will she makes an attempt to

explain why she left them 35 years ago.

She wrote, “My dearest children, I know you can never

forgive me for leaving you alone with your father. I was

young and afraid and had been beaten many times. I have

been guilt ridden because I knew he would do the same

things to you. I have been a coward. I don’t blame you

for hating me. Maybe with the money from the oil and gas

leases, you could have a better life. I hope God and the

Virgin Mother will forgive me. Someday we will all meet in

heaven. Your mother Tarisha.”

As time passed they lost many family birth certificates and

family records. To reconstruct the family tree would be a

task that Bob and Jose’ would oversee in Corpus Christi.

There are millions of dollars in oil and gas payments that

have accumulated in the bank in Corpus Christi but to claim

it they must show that all family members are in fact legal

heirs. So, they must have proof for the court to the claim

the inheritance. The best proof in a court would be a

birth certificate or DNA testing. To get the DNA the body

of Tarisha would have to be exhumed by court order from the

grave site in Corpus Christi.

Bob has made a point to meet with Jose’ to discuss the

issues. But Jose’ is not a trusting soul and Bob has been

fighting with Jose’ about the wording of everything

involved in correspondence between them and the other

siblings. It’s always been contentious between them

because Bob was caught stealing Tamales from Jose’ back

when they were kids. Since then Bob has had many scrapes

with the law over drug possession charges.

Bob has a superior attitude because he has 2 years of

community collage. No one else has a high school

education, which he uses as a point of proof that he is

correct in any debate with Jose’.

One morning over breakfast Bob and Jose’ meet to discuss

the latest developments in the inheritance.

Jose’, ”I have been getting calls from Freida and Milly

about when they can expect their first check form the

inheritance. What should I say?”

Bob, “They’re a pain in the ass.”

Jose’, “Yeah, but I have to give them an answer. Or

they’ll keep calling until I do.”

Bob, “Screw them. We’re the ones doing the work here.”
Jose’, “Roberto, you can’t just say that.”

Bob, “My name is Bob. I prefer Bob to Roberto.”

Jose’, “OK but to everyone in the family you’re still

Roberto. Have you found your birth certificate?”

Bob, “Fuck you Jose’. Kiss my ass.”

The waitress walks over to their table. “The manager wants

you to know that unless you tone down the language you’ll

have to leave.”

Bob, “What?”

Jose’, “We understand. Don’t we Roberto?”

The waitress answers, “This is a family restaurant.

Get it?”

Bob, “The crying babies are a reminder.”

Jose’, “Can we get back to business?”

Bob, “I just don’t like to be hassled when I’m eating my

oatmeal.”

Jose’, “Wait a minute I forgot to call Adilia she wants to

talk to you.”

Bob, “Shit man I don’t want to talk to that stupid bitch.”

Jose’, “She said you owe her money and she wants to get

paid.”

Bob, “Ok, but why now?”

Jose’, “Because she won’t stop calling me about it until

you talk to her. You don’t return her calls.”

Bob, “Give me your phone.”

Jose’, “What’s wrong with yours.”

Bob, “It’s temporally out of service.”

Jose’, “So you spend your allowance on Karaoke and pot.”

Bob, “I’m a performer. It cost money to be in the show

business. She can wait.”

Jose’, “You never stop with the scams.”

Bob, “What?”

Jose’, “She wanted to get in a business with you and Ralph.

I told her not to.”

Bob, “I got her a great investment in Ralph’s invention.”

Jose’, ”But she said you and Ralph got her to go to

Monterey, Mexico and didn’t tell her you had no money. So

she paid for all the food, gas and hotels. And you guys

never paid her back your expenses. What is that?”

Bob, “Look, Ralph has a great invention for the health care

industry.”

Jose’, “Yeah I heard about the enema splash board, you guys

were going to manufacture in Mexico.”

Bob, “Sometimes you win with a great idea and make it big.

Look at the computer guy Michael Dell.”

Jose, “Yeah but that was her mortgage money.”

Bob, “Ralph thought it was going to be easy to get money

from these Mexican business men. But they never showed up

for the meeting he had arranged. It’s Ralph’s fault. He

should pay her. It was his deal.”

Jose’, “What about Adilia?”

Bob, “Tough shit she can kiss my wetback ass.”

The short over-weight restaurant manager walks over to the

table and grabs Bob by his braided ponytail.

Bob, “What the fuck. Let me go. I’m a golden gloves

boxer.”

Manager, “Go somewhere else. You’re crazy.”

Bob tries to get loose but the manager holds on tight and

swings Bob around like he was mixing a batch of Menudo.

Bob jumps up and down while the manager pulls Bob out into

the parking lot.

“No one treats me like that. I wasn’t finished with my

breakfast.”

The manager goes back into the restaurant and retrieved his

uneaten breakfast. Bob is still jumping around in the

parking lot. Yelling, “I’m not crazy. This is bull shit.”

Jose’, “He told you to watch your language.”

The manager walks up to Bob and pours his oatmeal out on

his shoes. Bob stops jumping and looks down at his new

shoes.
Jose’, “We still need to go to the Corpus Christi hall of

records and get copies of and birth certificates. Or we’ll

have to order the exhumation of our mother.”

Bob cleaning off his shoes with a napkin, “How gross. I

can’t do that.”

Jose’, “Well, its we go and find this paperwork or we will

have to pay the $500.00 per each DNA fees for all the

family members.”

Bob, “But most of us were born on the farms we worked on.”

Jose’, “How could I forget?”

Bob, “But we’ve got more than 50 people to help. We should

get more money for doing this.”

Jose’, “Are you going to be the one that tells everyone

your idea?”

Bob, “It’s a finder’s fee.”

Jose’, “What?”

Bob, “Like we’re finding their paperwork. That’s got to be

worth something.”

Jose’, “I’m going to call a family meeting so you can

present this idea.”

Jose’ pushes sister Milly’s phone number into his cell. She

answers.

Jose’, “Hi we’ve been talking and Bob has an idea that he

wants to talk to everyone about.” He hands Bob the phone.

Bob, “I don’t want to talk about this on the phone.”

Milly says, “This must be another one of your scams. Go to

hell, I’m not signing anything that comes from you.” She

hangs up.

Jose’, “The attorney said we need everyone on board to take

this to the court. So, lets get it on and stop screwing

around.”

Bob, “When?”

Jose’, “Now is a good time. Don’t be stupid.”

The Corpus Christi Hall of records is an annex of the City

Hall. Jose’ and Bob approach the clerks counter. The

clerk is not around.

Bob asks Jose’, “What time is it. I have to be back in

Quitman by 11:00 tomarrow.”

Jose’, “So you have a big night coming up?”

Bob, “Well, yeah. It’s the monthly singing contest. And

it’s my shot at $250 prize. I’m psyched.”

Jose’ looks up at a sign over the counter. “Copies of

birth or death certificates, are $2 each, cash only.”

Jose’ says, “Look at that.”

Bob, “They get you coming and going. Where the hell is the

clerk?”
Jose’, “The sign with the clock dial in front of you says

be back in 15 minutes.”

Bob, “I saw that. But when did they leave? You always

talk to me like I’m a dummy.”

Jose’, “Roberto, not everyone is waiting for you to show

up.”

Bob, “Don’t call me Roberto. You know that’s not my stage

name.”

Jose’, “I don’t see a karaoke machine here. What’s the

difference? Your birth certificate reads Roberto Larva.

So don’t get all white on me.”

Bob, “You think like a beaner, you act like a beaner, you

get treated like one.”

Jose’, “In Corpus that all there is. What’s the

difference?”

Bob, “I’m a cross over crooner. I don’t want to be thought

of as a Mexican. I’m a Latin cross over crooner. That’s

it.”

Jose’, “I guess I’m a dirty beaner, wetback, field bean

picker.”

Bob, “If you say so.”

Jose’, “At least I answer to my God given name.”

Bob, “Beaner.”
The clerk, a young good looking Hispanic woman stops in

front of Jose’ and asks in Spanish, “What can I do for

you?”

Jose’ answers, “We need birth certificates for family

members.”

Clerk, “How many?”

Jose’, “52.”

Clerk, “I need a photo ID of each person, a list of names

and $104 dollars in cash. Plus, I’ll need a few days.”

Jose’ takes out a list of names and starts to look through

his wallet. “Here’s the list. I don’t think I have that

much Roberto. How’s about chipping in here.”

Bob going through his wallet and pockets. “The family

should be paying for this. This is what I mean. We should

be getting paid cost plus expenses, to do this.”

Clerk, “We don’t care who pays. But, I can’t except an

order this big without the payment. That’s the rule.”

Bob, “Can’t we pay when we pick up the copies?”

Clerk looking at the ID’s, “Sorry, Roberto Larva. That’s

the way it is.”

Bob tries to sweet talk her, “But, I need to go to singing

engagement in East Texas and I need all the money I have

with me.”
Clerk, “Well, I’ll just take the money you have and make

that many copies. When you come back in bring the rest of

the money and ID’s, I’ll make the rest of the copies. But

that’s the best I can do.”

Bob gets angry, “You expect me to drive all the way from

Quitman to Corpus again?”

Clerk, “I don’t care. You have to get me the money. I

just need it before I make the copies.”

The clerks supervisor a tall big boned Anglo woman named

Clair who vaguely resembles Big Bird, walks up to the

counter. “Do we have a problem here?”

Bob answers, “Yes I do. We don’t have all the cash here

now to make all these certificate copies.”

Supervisor, “So just come back when you have the money.”

Bob, “Why can’t you make the copies and we’ll pay you when

we come into pick them up? This is a court matter.”

Supervisor, “Because you may never come back, we can’t do

that.”

Bob, “I’m an entertainer and I have an engagement back in

East Texas. So, I would take it as a personal favor if you

would make the copies and let Jose’ here come back with the

cash.”

Supervisor, “No.”
Bob, “That’s bull shit. I’m a VET and I know you can make

exceptions if you want.”

Supervisor, “Not today, or any day. And if you don’t stop

with the foul language I’ll have you removed and bared from

City Hall.”

Jose’ points to his head , “I understand. He’s just a

little high strung.”

Supervisor, “That may be, but he better get a grip.”

Bob pointing his finger, “That’s shit. I’m not going to

put up with this. Who’s your Supervisor?”

Supervisor, “I’m the supervisor.”

Bob, “In Iraq, we fragged ass holes like you.”

The Supervisor pushes a panic button under the counter, “I

was in the Army mister and I know what you are saying.”

Jose’ grabs Bob by the arm and pulls him toward the door

just as a uniformed policeman walks in.

Jose’ says, “It’s OK, we were just leaving. Sorry for the

disturbance.”

Policeman pulls his revolver and points it at Bob, “You’re

under arrest.”

Bob, “For what? This is crap. I didn’t do anything.”

The policeman, “You just can’t threaten a public official.”