Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Checklist For Romantic Compatibility
Checklist For Romantic Compatibility
Romantic
Compatibility
FUNDAMENTALS
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Is he male?
Does he prefer males?
Is he single?
Is he age-appropriate?1
Is he ready to commit?2
GEOGRAPHY
6.
7.
8.
Rule of thumb: was he born in the eighties? No more than seven years older or
three years younger. Date of birth between: January 1, 1980 and December
31, 1989 (inclusive).
If he does not live in New York City (herein the City), does he have enough
of a nexus to visit it (and me) with some amount of frequency? See, e.g., he
lives in Boston, Philadelphia, or Washington D.C.; he travels here for work
often; his parents live here; etc.
Does it take me less than 45 minutes to get to his apartment on the Subway?
This, of course, limits me to Manhattan; most gentrified parts of Brooklyn;
and select parts of Queens that arent airport-adjacent.
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
9.
10.
EMPLOYMENT
11.
12.
13.
Is he gainfully employed?8
Does he have a respectable job?9
Is he realistic about his future?10
PHYSICAL
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
A 30-day Unlimited Ride MetroCard costs $116.50. See Fares and MetroCard,
MTA, http://web.mta.info/metrocard/ mcgtreng.htm#30day
10
For men pursuing the arts (e.g., acting, singing, writing, etc.), does he have a
realistic assessment of his prospects for long-term success? Does he maintain
supplemental sources of income?
11
In a crowded Subway cart, would you avoid gnawing on your lamb gyro in
front of him?
12
13
14
Im not asking for Ira Glass silken cords here, but would listening to his voice
make you want to self-flagellate?
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
19.
20.
EDUCATION
21.
22.
INTELLIGENCE
23.
24.
25.
26.
TASTE
________________________
(contd from previous page)
15
Given his physical state now, do you think hes able to grow old with you, or
will he be like that whale of a mom from Whats Eating Gilbert Grape
(Paramount Pictures 1993)?
16
Without hypnosis from a life-coach to induce you to see someones innerbeauty. See Shallow Hal (20th Century Fox 2001).
17
18
Your academic zeal has to at least match six-and-a-half year-old girl totting
home a red wagonful of books from the public library. See, e.g., Matilda
(TriStar Pictures 1996).
19
Im not looking for A Beautiful Mind herejust someone who I could respect
for his intellect.
20
Not asking for you to write me the next Anna Karenina or anything (but maybe
try?); just: have appropriate comma usage; conjugate verbs properly; master
uses of contractions and possessives (theyre v. there); and can spice it up
syntactically (e.g., tossing in a semicolon or an em dash on occasion.) I am
ambivalent about the Oxford commapersonally find staunch loyalists on
either side dumb and annoying.
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
27.
28.
29.
30.
31.
32.
33.
34.
35.
CLOTHING
36.
37.
________________________
(contd from previous page)
21
Ill met several people whove liked James Joyce, Herman Melville, or William
Faulknerauthors whom I actively dislikebut seldom I have met those who
are able to express why they enjoy these writers.
22
Fine, fine, Ill make an exception for Great Gatsby, because, secretly, I still love
it, too.
23
24
25
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
38.
39.
FOOD
40.
41.
PERSONALITY
42.
43.
44.
45.
46.
RACE
POLITICS
47.
26
27
He doesnt say, Oh, anything is good with meIm easy and then end up
nixing almost every single restaurant suggestion.
28
Meaning, hell let you get away with most inappropriate things you say and
wont hold it against you. Forms of humor I enjoy: puns (even in excessive
and especially bad ones); awkward dad jokes; acerbic dryness (generally).
29
Not in the Mark Zuckerberg donating 99% of his net worth kind of way,
but just in the Im not going to ax you up and throw your body chunks in the
Hudson even though you have a terrible personality kind of way.
30
31
The ideal political alignment is left. Regardless of his political leanings, can he
at least intelligibly articulate his political ideologies?
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
48.
49.
50.
Is he pro-immigration?32
Can he name at least four out of the nine U.S.
Supreme Court justices?33
Can he name the last ten U.S. Presidents in order?
MANNERS
51.
52.
53.
54.
55.
32
He doesnt want to ban all Muslim travel into the U.S., for instance.
33
It should be noted that Breyers is, indeed, also the name of an ice-cream
producer.
34
35
36
Disconnect means to either power off the device completely; or lower the
screens brightness and avoid looking at the screen during the movie. Except it
is OK if his line of work (e.g., a corporate lawyer or a medical doctor) requires
him to, on occasion, furtively scan the screen for emergencies and exigent
circumstances.
37
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
56.
HYGIENE
57.
58.
59.
60.
RELIABILITY
61.
62.
63.
64.
65.
FRIENDSHIP
66.
38
If he did not bring a toothbrush (I mean honestly, how presumptuous can a trick be?),
does he: (i) go to the local Duane Reade to purchase one; (ii) use your
toothpaste and brush with his index finger like in the movies; or (iii) swash
your mouthwash when you arent looking?
39
Ideal scenario: he doesnt smell at all. However, if he does, can you tolerate it?
Meaning, his smell doesnt patently offend you and make you want to wash the
sheets every time you spend time together.
40
41
42
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
67.
68.
FAMILY
69.
70.
71.
72.
73.
74.
75.
76.
77.
78.
79.
43
The
complete
rules
of
CONTACT
are
available
at,
http://forum.frontrowcrew.com/discussion/7294/learn-how-to-play-theword-game-contact
44
Can he contribute to a subject area that the group otherwise would not be able
to excel (e.g., sports; non-white people pop cultural references; the 1940s)?
45
46
I use family loosely here. Primarily, does he have strong, intimate, nurturing
connection with those he loves and care about?
47
For a list of family members who must consent, please see ANNEX B.
48
He is not allergic to the dish, and the dish does not conflict with any of his
dietary or religious restrictions.
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
SEX
80.
81.
82.
83.
84.
85.
COMMUNICATION
86.
87.
88.
89.
FINANCIAL
90.
Is he financially responsible?54
49
50
One easy approximation for this is if you reach for his hand in public, he
wont flinch; or he doesnt feel the need to shame shower in guilt constantly
after you are intimate.
51
According to his most recent STD check-up, which is only considered valid if
within the past twelve months.
52
For example, in the last correspondence, he texted you at 1:00 P.M., and you
responded back 1:10 P.M. (ten minutes elapsed time). Now, will he get back
to you sooner than 1:30 P.M. (twenty minutes elapsed time)?
53
54
This begs further questions: (i) is he free from crippling financial debt; (ii) does
he plan for his future through savings or a 401(k)?; and (iii) does he maintain a
budget?
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
91.
94.
95.
96.
97.
Is he drug-free?57
Does he only drink in moderation?
Does he have a clean criminal record?
92.
93.
VICE
BIG PICTURE
98. Does he make you happy?
99. Does he make you laugh?
100. Does he make you a better person?
55
$66,739.
56
57
10
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
GRADING RUBRIC
These are one hundred (100) questions:
10090:
8980:
7970:
Below 70:
Excellent
Good
Average
Incompatible
11
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
ANNEX A
Aleksandra
Ali
Chau
Jim
Jimmy
Lymaira
Kate
Melissa
Michael
Rachel
12
ROMANTIC CHECKLIST
ANNEX B
Mother
Father
David
Frank
13