TEST 4: ABOUT BIRTHPARENTS

(If you have not already done so, please copy and turn in your answers to
“Putting Yourself in the Place of Expectant Parents” with this test. Thank
you.)

Name Total
Score

True or False, Multiple Choice, Open-ended Questions

Reasons Expectant Mothers Choose Adoption or Parenting

1. Reasons expectant mothers give when choosing an adoption plan

reference their own futures, the futures of their children, and the
preferences of grandparents. ________

2. A birth mother who cares about her child would not consider adoption.
________

3. When an expectant mother chooses an adoption plan, both sacrifice

and love are evident. ________

4. Change in society’s acceptance of unwed mothers’ single parenting is

evident by the increased number of birth mothers who decide to
parent. ________

5. Reasons birth mothers choose parenting are self sufficiency,

independence, personal desire of motherhood, immediacy, answer to
prayer, need for love, need for purpose, and preferences of friends and
grandparents. ________

Prophet Guidance Regarding Children Born Out of Wedlock

1. All prophets who have made statements on pregnancies out of wedlock

highly suggest marriage and then adoption. __________

2. David O. McKay stated that a child has three fundamental rights . . . a

place to live, food, and clothes. ________

3. Gordon B. Hinckley said teenage pregnancy brings regret, misery, self-

deprecation, and unhappiness. ________
 4. Children sealed to parents have claim upon the blessings of the gospel
beyond what others are entitled to receive. ________

Birthparent Panel Video

1. Most birth mothers who place with adoptive couples prefer

confidentiality and do not need loving relationships with adoptive
parents. _________

2. Expectant mothers select adoptive parents according to talents,

money, looks, and preferred recreational activities. __________

3. Some expectant mothers see the adoption experience as a “second

chance at life”. ________

4. Each birth mother in the birthparent panel (FSA video) said they
selected their adoptive family because . . .
a. The couple matched their wish list.
b. The Holy Ghost witnessed who they should choose.
c. The couples looked like nice people.
d. The couples had pets.

5. It is important for adoptive couples to mold themselves to be what

expectant parents want, stating that they would love an open adoption
even though they may have reservations. ________

About Expectant Fathers

1. Expectant fathers have little say of what happens to the baby and no
parental rights if the expectant mother decides on an adoption plan.
________

2. The expectant father’s emotional needs are often dismissed and

ignored. ________

3. If willing, expectant fathers can receive counsel from LDSFS that will
help them in many of the same ways LDSFS helps expectant mothers.
________

4. Expectant fathers have no stigma or shame. ________

Putting Yourself in the Place of Expectant Parents

 1. Expectant mothers and adoptive parents are similar in that both . . .
________

a. have a medical discovery, like to cook, jog, enjoy pets, and get
counseling.
b. have a medical discovery, make difficult decisions, receive
counseling, fill out paperwork, prepare, wait for the baby, go
through the “finding process”, act in benefit of the child,
reorganize their life, and continue to love the child.
c. have a medical discovery, make difficult decisions, receive
counseling, love children, clean house, watch their diets, like to
visit extended family, want to read books to the baby, deeply
hurt until resolution.

2. I could be an expectant parent and easily place my child because I

know it would be the right thing to do. ________

3. Write in the blank space below how you would feel if you were an
expectant parent and marriage was not an option.

4. Describe below how you would feel as you placed your child in the
arms of another woman to raise your child.

Understanding Birthparent Grief

1. Birthparent grieving occurs when . . .

a. making the decision to place
b. the expectant mother realizes the expectant fathers has no
interest in marriage
c. saying good bye to her child
d. seeing other women with new babies
e. listening to Relief Society lessons on marriage and family
f. someone makes a negative comment about adoption
g. when the child she placed for adoption has a birthday
h. all of the above

2. Birth mothers can break the emotional cycle of grief by eating ice
cream. ________

3. Unresolved grief can cause problems in romantic relationships, future

parent-child relationships, ability to work effectively and in general
feelings of worth and happiness. ________
 4. It is important that adoptive parents be empathetic to birthparent pain
by keeping their commitments made at the time of placement of
providing pictures and letters/e-mails, and all other promises. ________

Structuring Your Relationship with Expectant Parents

1. Most expectant mothers will use their pregnant status to manipulate

money from adoptive parents. ________

2. As a general rule, it is important not to supply indentifying information

to expectant parents before adoption. Face-to-face visits, blogs, and e-
mail can occur and couples can still maintain privacy. Boundaries after
adoption is dependent upon the promises made to the expectant
mother prior to placement. ________

3. Identifying information includes . . .

a. Last names
b. Your favorite color
c. Phone numbers
d. Addresses
e. How old you are
f. Workplaces
g. City name
h. Your favorite movie
i. Last names of friends and relatives
j. How many people in your family
k. a through f
l. a, c, d, f, g, i
m. g through j
n. a, c, e, g, i, j

4. Adoptive couples that choose to meet with expectant parents outside

of LDSFS, cannot be monitored and assisted as well. ________

5. Meetings with expectant parents outside of LDSFS do not need to be

reported to the caseworker. ________

6. It is important to be positive, genuine, and caring when meeting with

expectant parents and birthparents. Thinking about their feelings and
accepting them as worthwhile people is vital ________

Total Score _______