The Lincoln Hall Association Publications
~ The Lincoln Holler ~
“Shooting the Shit While You Take Yours”
Volume 2, Issue 9
Mark your Calender:
Letter from the Editor
Tuesday Nights
Alright guys, a lot of things have
7:00 pm: RHA Council in the been happening lately. We're all
RHA Office busy and we all need a little bit of
rest an relaxation. But there are
9:00 pm: LHA Meetings in the some major things that seem to be
Reading Room happening around the building
that just shouldn't be.
Wednesdays Nights
I'd like to take a moment right
7:00 pm: Lincoln Haunted now and thank everyone that
Basement Planning committee noticed the blank space in last
in the Reading Room week's Holler and filled it in with
something
9:00 pm: Whipple Hall interesting. I'd also
Council in the Fish Bowl like to thank the
guys who sent in
Sunday Nights
something to make
this one a little
Watch the football games on
more interesting
the Big Screen in the Fish
than last weeks.
Bowl Also a big shout
out to the people
Weekly Weather who are coming to
(Taken from the Weather.com) LHA every week,
helping out with
October 6 – 12
Sausage Fest and making Lincoln
look awesome for Homecoming.
Tuesday: Partly Cloudy
You guys are doing good work.
High: 64 Keep it up
Low: 39
To those who fell in the First
Wednesday: Partly Cloudy Great Nerf Shotgun Civil War
you will always be remembered. A
High: 71
monument will be erected in your
Low: 40
memory in the coming days.
Thursday: Sunny A lot of fantastic things have
High: 73 happened recently. But then again,
Low: 43 some not so great things happened
as well.
Friday: Partly Cloudy
There were several problems in
High: 74 the last week. Some shouldn't be
Low: 41
Saturday: Partly Cloudy Selected Headlines
High: 72
Low: 41 - Karzai expected to accept he fell
short in election
Sunday: Partly Cloudy -Pakistan army chief asks tribe to
High: 71 back offensive
Low: 43
-Iran vows reprisals after bombing
kills dozens
Monday: Few Showers
High: 64 -Balloon boy story a hoax
Low: 35
discussed in an open fashion
simply because it is none of our
business.
However, I am perfectly happy to
use my freedom of speech to
discuss other concerns. The major
issue being the graffiti drawn on
various signs that the RAs and
residents have spent a lot of time
to make. The things on the walls
of the hall are not your property.
Don't mess with
them.
There are papers
on the 2nd floor hall
that ask for your
opinion. Yes, we're
all adults. Yes, we
all have terrible
senses of humor.
But remember, this
is a building on the
campus of a
university. What is on the wall is
not for your eyes only. Remember
that.
The building is old. Without
posters up, it's amazing how
depressing the halls can be. Don't
give them an excuse to take down
those posters, or the Holler.
Stay Positive.
- Brian Parcon
Room 312
-Scientist who worked for the
government accuse of espionage
-Phils beat Dogers 5-4
-Video game sales improve
slightly in September
-IBM puts executive on leave after
charges of insider trading
October 19, 2009
New from the Lincoln
Hall Association
Hello Gentlemen, welcome to
another week. LHA has been
very busy lately. I'd like to
thank everyone for doing so
much to make last week
awesome. Here some things
that were done, and, of course,
an update of LHA activity.
• Sausage Fest – Our first
fundraiser ever was a major
success. Our profits reached
over $120. Not to mention that
a lot of people were out there
helping out practically the
whole time. Look out for
another BBQ style fundraiser
soon.
• Homecoming – First off,
thanks to everyone that helped
with decorations. Apparently
we were over zealous and
decorated way too early, but
that just means the pressure is
on everyone else to try to beat
us. Some finishing touches will
make Lincoln look pretty
sweet. There are still quite a
few things that need to be done
this week in the name of school
spirit. Nick Szewzak is in
charge, so ask him if you're
interested in working on it.
• Men of Lincoln Hall Calendar
– Keep toning up, guys.
Shooting happens sooner than
you think.
• FLUSHING – Please do.
That's it. Meetings on Tuesday
at 9:00 pm like always.
-Brian Parcon
Room 312
Page 2 The Lincoln Holler Volume 2, Issue 9

A How to on College Papers Whipple Hall

Lets say you are cramming for that midterm, or the previous analogy. Council
(more likely) waking up in a fog next to some Prove you are not insane by
blond bombshell who's name you can't remember giving a different in-text
but sounds vaguely like 'rose'. Needless to say you example. Here we have a little area
have OH SHIT FORGOT ABOUT THE PAPER! reserved for news from Whipple
Suddenly you are pulling on your pants, hmm too Hall Council. Here's a summary
Body Paragraph 2
small, and embroidered with pink flowers,
definitely not your pants. But over there, on the of the minutes of last week's
Use previous in-text example to
lamp, those are your jeans! You manage to get out make a example/analogy about meeting.
and run, not walk, RUN to your laptop. your thesis.
Prove you are not insane by The major topic covered last
Now all you have to do is: giving a different in-text week was Homecoming. A lot of
WRITE A 3 PAGE PAPER IN A HOUR example.
people signed up to volunteer
(and completely bullshit it)
Body Paragraph 3
and any more extra hands would
So the paper is on the change in a hero over the be much appreciated.
course of the book you are reading in class. Did Use previous in-text example to
you read the book? No, how about some of it? make a example/analogy about
Spark notes will fill in the rest, but focus on the your thesis. LHA has done us a big favor
parts you have read, and pull in text examples. If Prove you are not insane by and is posting our minutes on
you only read the first two chapters, focus your giving a different in-text their website. Take a look for
argument on 'first impressions' or some bullshit example.
full details.
like that. Now that you know what to do you still
have to write those three pages. If your paper is Closing Paragraph
good, a 2 page paper for a 3 page assignment can www.lha-nevada.co.cc
still net you a 'B' with a 'write more next time'
note from the professor. So all you are writing is Add a twist to your thesis. Do
one page, single spaced! Now is the time to write not contradict yourself but add
Poetry Corner
down your structure. You don't want to do this as depth to your thesis. If your
you write, then half the time you will be writing thesis is the main character is a
and half the time you will be thinking, and you do anti hero, add he is a depressed
not have that kind of time. anti hero. Steps on rocky paths echo
Your skeleton should be structured, and no longer
silently
All you have to do now is make a sentence out of
than the one below:
each statement. If you do this right, this takes no Perpetually prickly and long
more time than any other part. As long as you get
Introduction
more than a page, you are DONE! Flip the grass; yellow tipped yet still
A BLACK-AND-WHITE
formatting to double space, slap yesterday's date shimmering green
on top, and print.
CONCRETE STATEMENT
about the topic (this can fool Get to class, turn it in, and take a breath. Now all Gnarled roots undertake
your professor into your
comprehension of the topic)
you have to do is explain why you ran out on the streams of dying foliage
lovely lady you spent the night with. But my
Make a analogy about the topic,
can be far fetched but you need
advice, don't bullshit her like you just did your
professor. (If the lovely lady is your professor you
In the distance children
to use it later. have bigger problems.) giggling silently as swings
-Nick Szewzak creak.
Body Paragraph 1 Room 206
-Jacob Crawley
Tie this paragraph into the Room 219
introduction by starting off with

Quoted for Emphasis

To be nameless in worthy deeds exceeds an infamous

history.
-Thomas Browne
Page 3
A Critique of the College Student Living in Lincoln.
Here, we have a letter of
concern from a fellow resident.
This is the first of what I hope
will be many editorial style
articles that should be what the
Holler is all about. This article
is a call to step away from the
apathy that plagues many of us.
My major is engineering and I
tend to always analyze my
environment and the objects
therein. Today I have analyzed
the current male college student
and have found him lacking.
This of course is no surprise
since with each generation we
have been in decline cognitively
and morally as a nation. I
challenge anyone who contests
this to study what history and
current statistics show, and then
come talk to me. A quick
example, there has been great
difficulty recruiting U.S.
engineers due to a drop in the
graduating population each
year. Companies have to recruit
over-seas in countries where
education is emphasized over
the latest celebrity death or
gossip.
Another example of our
national stupidity is as follows;
A Little bit of Comedy...
Editor in Chief: Brian Parcon (312)
Webmaster: Ryan Herzig (203)
Submissions or Comments can be emailed to LHApress@gmail.com
or slipped underneath 312's door.
All opinions expressed are those of the contributors and do not represent the views of the Residence Life, Housing, and Food Service Department
or the University of Nevada, Reno or the chief editor unless explicitly stated.
The Lincoln Holler Volume 2, Issue 9
Classified
when the public doesn’t notice
semi-bankrupt companies
you’re probably apolitical but
informed on the issues. For the
Ads
making profits from borrowed rest of you, good luck because
(interest free) taxpayer money, you’re going to need it. Only Dad needed as
all the while the entire country 24% of the U.S. population has companion for full-
is in the greatest debt than ever a bachelor’s degree and only time Mom.
before, you stop wondering 9% has anything more than that. All inquiries should be
how we got so in debt in the If you graduate you will be part made by standing in
first place. I know you kids of an educated minority who the middle of 2nd floor
don’t want to think about such should contribute to the future and saying “Mom”
things because your lives are so of our nation. If you want to be over and over again.
important and anything that rewarded for your efforts in
makes you uncomfortable is school and the education you
bad. You can’t help this; you obtained then wake up. Do you Need
were raised in an environment Remember, going to college Something? Anything?
that taught you to be delusional, like any other social privilege Classified Ads are here
that taught you that you’re an doesn’t make you special, its for you. If you need
American and therefore what you do with it that does. help with homework,
important whether you’ve done
projects, pranks and
anything with your life or not.
Sadly the truth is just the military strategy, ask
opposite, your life is only as for a spot in Lincoln
good as what you do with it and Holler's Classifieds!
if you don’t do much, well than
you’re not very good.
- Jeff Maze LHA has a brand new
I bet maybe out of the 5% of Room 303 website. Head over to
Lincoln residents who read this;
www.lha-nevada.co.cc
only 2% might even know what
I’m talking about. If you are to check out past issues
part of the 2%, whether you of the Holler, pictures of
agree with me or not, count Lincoln Hall ResLife,
yourself fortunate that you can
still think independently outside
and the Constitution of
of the group-think. Chances are, LHA.
… and a playful attack on the largest computer software company
in the world from: www.xkcd.com
Super Editor: Jacob Camp (2nd Floor RA)
Printing Office: Nick Szewzak (206)