The Lincoln Hall Association Publications

~ The Lincoln Holler ~

“Shooting the Shit While You Take Yours”
Volume 2, Issue 10 November 9, 2009

Tuesday Nights
Letter from the Editor
7:00 pm: RHA Council in the
RHA Office Hello and welcome to another
edition of the Lincoln Holler.
9:00 pm: LHA Meetings in the
If you have not noticed or
Reading Room
have not been in the bathroom
for the past two weeks (please
Wednesdays Nights
speak with a physician if this
9:00 pm: Whipple Hall is the case), this is the first
Council in the Fish Bowl issue that has been released for
After WHC: Wednesday Night a while. Things came up, and
Movie in the Fish Bowl other things got in the way. In
the midst of it,
SEX AWARENESS WEEK my priorities
Tuesday: became skewed
and the Holler
7:00 pm: Sex Jeopardy in the was pushed onto
Mezz (Argenta) the back burner.
7:30 pm: Sex Jeopardy in the I would like to
Fishbowl take a moment to
apologize for
8:30 pm: Movie in the that.
Fishbowl: 3 Needles
This is not just
Weekly Weather something that is unimportant,
(Taken from the Weather.com) something that can be just
November 10 – 16 pushed aside. This is not just
some crappy webcomic that
Tuesday: Mostly Cloudy does not update because the
High: 61 artist/writer decided to get too
Low: 32 drunk one night. This is a part
of our community. This is a
Wednesday: Cloudy High: 57
Low: 35
way to get you the weekly
news in the building in a
Thursday: Partly Cloudy timely fashion. This is a
High: 46 medium for free thought and
Low: 27 the sharing of ideas. Mostly
importantly, this is a little
Friday: Partly Cloudy something for you to read
High: 47
Low: 24
Selected Headlines
Saturday: Partly Cloudy
High: 50 - Karzai expected to accept he fell
Low: 24
short in election
Sunday: Partly Cloudy -Pakistan army chief asks tribe to
High: 56 back offensive
Low: 31
-Iran vows reprisals after bombing
kills dozens
Monday: Mostly Sunny
High: 56 -Balloon boy story a hoax
Low: 31
while you really have nothing
else to do.
I apologize once again for
taking that away from you for
so long.
We all have our priorities. We
have people we care for,
things we need to do, our
responsibility to ourselves and
maybe even our
responsibility to
whatever God
we believe in. It
is our jobs as
individuals to
maintain that
rational and keep
the things that
are important to
us our major
concern in life.
Our priorities, while all
different, give us purpose and
meaning. Following through
and keeping the things that
matter most in the forefront of
our thoughts and actions helps
us make ourselves better and,
by proxy, the world becomes a
little bit brighter.
Stay Positive.
- Brian Parcon
Room 312
-Scientist who worked for the
government accuse of espionage
-Phils beat Dogers 5-4
-Video game sales improve
slightly in September
-IBM puts executive on leave after
charges of insider trading
New from the Lincoln
Hall Association
Some pretty important things
happened at the last LHA
meeting. Here's a quick re-cap
in case you forgot.
• Our adviser, Kenner Barnes,
was able to make it to our
meetings. She is a great lady,
guys. If you see her, be sure to
say “Hi”.
• The Men of Lincoln Hall
Calender is going to be paid for
from the proceeds of the
Sausage Fest, after the money
for the pool cues has been
spent. Sales will be launched
most likely come January. Do
not get lazy, shooting happens
soon.
• All budget requests were
submitted to ASUN. Due to
some irregularities with the
paper work and the giant angry
maw of confusion that is
ASUN, it did not pan out as
planned. Things will turn out
much better next time. Many
Bothan spies died to provide us
with this information, but there
is another way for us to receive
our funding.
• NOVEMBEARD. If you've
already signed up and Randy
has your photo, it is on. You
already know what's up.
That's all, folks. Check on this
next meeting for more details
of the goings on of the
community. See you then.
-Brian Parcon
Room 312
Page 2
Toast
This week finds itself a new sort of
article. Billy Sanderson offers a
story that will be released week by
week with every issue.
(Warning:
Contains harsh language and
violence.
Reader discretion is advised.)
March 10, 2008
8:20pm
“You guys are sick mother
fuckers!”
the man screamed, his voice
echoing off the barren warehouse
walls. It was of no use, there
wasn't a soul around to hear.
Well, maybe except for the two
souls in front of him but we
didn't care. In front of us was
John Yamon, a amateur drug
smuggler that thought he could
pull one over on us, tied down to
a chair. I nodded over to my
partner in crime, Gunner, and he
gave the man some good fist to
face time until the man stopped
screaming. I didn't particularly
like violence, but there is a time
and place for everything.
“I wouldn't insult us,” I said as I
put my foot on his chest and
pushed hard. John fell to the
ground with a loud crash and he
began to cuss up a storm once
again. I sighed and looked at
Gunner. Gunner cracked his neck
The dignity of mankind is in your hands; protect it!
It sinks with you! With you it will ascend.
--Friedrich Schiller
The Lincoln Holler Volume 2, Issue 10
CURTIS BURKS,
to the side and placed his foot on 18 on 11/10/09
John throat. The look in John's
Gentlemen, today we add a new member to
eyes was priceless as he realized
our ranks. Curtis of second floor fame has
that he had to make a choice: finally reached the threshold of manhood.
cooperate or have his larynx
crushed by a size 12 shoe. John
made the right choice and shut
his mouth.
I was just about to say something
when my phone rang. I looked at
the screen which shown 'mom'
brightly blinking back at me.
“You have been touched by an
angel today,” I said showing
John the screen and walked away
to answer my phone. “Hi mom...
yes, Gunner and I are doing just
fine... I told you we were sorry
for missing dinner tonight... Of Next time you see this face, congratulate him
course we'll come tomorrow, we on his newly achieved manhood.
just got held up in the office
today... OK, I love you too mom, Poetry Corner
bye.” I snapped by phone closed
and walked back over to John Upon a bench slumped and beaten
and Gear. Shoulders frown with the slow patter
Pit….Pat Pit….Pat Pit….Pat Pit….Pat
“So, where were we?”
Shimmering air filled with aromas,
Aromas of lavender, pine, unknown flora
Droplets begin to collect
Billy Sanderson And slowly slip from lazy fingers
Room 210
Suddenly the pace quickens
Sapphire stars saunter slowly and slightly
Somewhere, someone sees.
-Jacob Crawley
Room 219
Quoted for Emphasis
Page 3 The Lincoln Holler Volume 2, Issue 10

The First Great Nerf Shotgun Classified

Ads
MISSING:

Spanish Folder

Thin black 3 ring

binder filled with
papers.

If found, please return

it to the owner in 210

LHA has a brand new

website. Head over to
www.lha-nevada.co.cc
to check out past issues
The men who died on that terrible day will not be forgotten. of the Holler, pictures of
“War taints the soul of every man equally: young and old, weak and strong, the man of God, Lincoln Hall Res-Life,
the man of the orient, and the man of /b/. All fall prey to the trials of war.” and the Constitution of
LHA.

… and the universe's most efficient killers sitting in a bar

A Little bit of Comedy... courtesy of: www.AlienLovesPredator.com

Editor in Chief: Brian Parcon (312)

Webmaster: Ryan Herzig (203)

Submissions or Comments can be emailed to LHApress@gmail.com

or slipped underneath 312's door.

All opinions expressed are those of the contributors and do not represent the views of the Residence Life, Housing, and Food Service Department
or the University of Nevada, Reno or the chief editor unless explicitly stated.