TEXTO ORIGINAL:

It was last Saturday at the football match Malaga Vs Betis. All of my

family coming to my house. My father and me are fans of Malaga CF,
but my oncle and my cousin are fans of Betis. In this match we are
going to be rivals.
The game became at ten oclock, the match didnt start well, Betis
attacked and attacked and Malaga didnt leave their pitch.
In the middle of the first time, Betis scored and my father and me are
decepcionated while my oncle and my cousin are very happy.
The match seemed like lost, but in the last 10 minutes Malaga scored
a goal in the 83 min and only 5 minutes later Malaga scored again.
I was very happy, I couldnt believe. My oncle and my cousin thought
that they were going to be winners. It probably was one of the best
match that I saw.
It was last Saturday at the football match Malaga Vs Betis.
(Esto hay que cambiarlo, ya que al empezar as el lector se queda
completamente perdido. fue el sbado pasado en el partido del
Mlaga contra el Betis, falta algo. Quedara mucho mejor si fuera
Last Saturday there was a football match between Malaga
CF and Betis.) All of my family coming to my house. (Muy bien
el uso de all of my family, al coming le falta en auxiliar (todos los
tiempos continuos llevan el verbo to be, luego quedara was coming
to my house. My father and me are fans of Malaga CF, but my
oncle and my cousin are fans of Betis. (fans en contexto
futbolstico queda raro. Usa mejor supporters y colcalo tras el
nombre del equipo. -> Mlaga CF supporters) In this match we are
going to be rivals. (we were*, el partido lo hemos situado en last
Saturday por lo que es mejor emplear el tiempo pasado)
The game became at ten oclock, the match didnt start well,
Betis attacked and attacked and Malaga didnt leave their
pitch.
(became? creo que queras decir began! Y la hora mejor ponerla
en nmeros, al menos 10 oclock. Hay una falta de coherencia entre
the game y the match, ya que ambos son casi sinnimos y al
repetirse queda raro, mejor decir the game/match (el que quieras)
began at 10 oclock and it didnt start well. Ese didnt est bien,
pero couldnt es mejor porque expresa que no podan salir debido al
ataque.)
In the middle of the first time, Betis scored and my father and
me are decepcionated while my oncle and my cousin are very
happy.
(Aqu slo hay correcciones de palabras. En ftbol se dice first half y
no first time, luego decepcionated no existe, es disappointed y
no es oncle (eso es francs!!) sino uncle. Luego, los dos are
pasan a were puesto que es una historia en el pasado!)

The match seemed like lost, but in the last 10 minutes Malaga
scored a goal in the 83 min and only 5 minutes later Malaga
scored again.
(O bien seemed lost (pareca perdido) o bien seemed like it was lost
(pareca como si tuviera perdido. El resto ok)
I was very happy, I couldnt believe. My oncle and my cousin
thought that they were going to be winners. It probably was
one of the best match that I saw.
(I couldnt believe it, falta el it. Y la frase final quedara It was
probably one of the best matches that I have ever seen: se dice uno
de los mejores partidoS. Y para experiencias usamos el Present
Perfect.)
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Ahora todo junto, esto es una sugerencia, modifica lo que
quieras:
Last Saturday there was a football match between Malaga CF
and Betis and all of my family was coming to my house. My
father and me are Malaga CF supportes, but my uncle and my
cousin are Betis supporters. In this match we were going to be
rivals.
The game began at 10 oclock, and it didnt start well, Betis
attacked and attacked and Malaga CF players couldnt leave
their pitch. In the middle of the first half, Betis scored and my
father and me were dissapointed while my uncle and my cousin
were very happy.
The match seemed lost, but in the last 10 minutes Malaga
scored a goal in min 83 and only 5 minutes later Malaga scored
again.
I was very happy, I couldnt believe it! My uncle and my cousin
thought that they were going to be winners. It was probably one
of the best matches that Ive ever seen.