2009: A Beast Odyssey

Scene 1

Hoover sounds, Servant singing over in a “housewife” fashion.

Servant: “This is a land of confusion. Now this is the world we live in, And these are the
hands were given, Use them and lets start trying, To make it a place worth fighting for!”

Stops Hoover.

Servant: Oh, I do love a good suck with Phil, sometimes, you know! I just move to his
rhythm and eat the carpet, really giving the nozzle a good scrub, just to make sure I get
all the hair out! Mind you, it’s ever so messy to get the contents out of the bag
afterwards! You take it in your hand and shake as hard as you can, but there’s always
some left! I got through two full sacks this morning, but even then the Lord still isn’t
satisfied. “Filthy”, he says! “You’re making me feel dirty just looking at you!” No matter
what I do I never quite get the front-room cleaned out, even after all these hours of labor!
Oh well, better get back on my knees again.

Starts Hoover.

Servant: “Owner of a lonely heart, much better than the owner of a broken heart!”

Beastly opens door, shouts. The Hoover stops.

Beastly: Servant, what have I told you about orally ejaculating in my house?!

Servant: I’m sorry sir; it’s just sometimes I’m so lonely here without you!

Beastly: Well it makes me sick! When I’m here you’re so quiet and demure, but turn my
back and you’re screaming on the floor with an electric vacuum cleaner!

Servant: My Lord, this is Henry you are talking about!

Beastly: What?

Servant: Henry the Hoover, sir! There’s many a housewife who can’t be parted from
their Henry, my liege, always faithful and giving them a jolly good service when their
husband’s are at work! He’s ever so flexible and easy to turn on, just flick the switch and
he can get into all sorts of nooks and crannies!

Beastly: No doubt, I’m sure. Anyway, push its rubbery appendage back in it’s nose and
stick it in the cupboard. The last thing I want is to trip over some half pint phallic R2-D2
on my way into the toilet. That reminds me, servant, I really need to arrange a meeting
with good old Tommy Tit!

Servant: Really, my Lord? Shall I get the address book?

Beastly: Yes, but before that I’d better see a man about a dog.

Servant: Yellow pages, sir?

Beastly: Ok, then. By the way, cretin, have you noticed my huge turtle’s head?

Servant: Oh, yes, it looks lovely up there on the mantelpiece!

Beastly: You think? Try moving it to the left a bit, would you? I’d do it myself but I need
a big shit.

Servant: Right you are, sir. (Singing) “Move yourself; you are the moves you make…”

Sound of shuffling and footsteps as Beastly goes to toilet and Servant moves stuffed head.

Beastly: Servant! What the hell have you done?!

Servant: Oh, it wasn’t me, my liege; it was those decorators I told you about!

Beastly: Decorators?! What decorators?!

Servant: Oh, you know, sir, the MC Escher Interior Staircase Design Company! They’ve
done a splendid job, don’t you think?

Beastly: No I do bloody not! If I’d wanted a multi dimensional, quantum physical array
of modern art strewn across my landing, I’d have asked! Come up here and help me
down!

Servant: What’s wrong sir, have you fallen over?

Beastly: No, I’m just standing on the bloody ceiling, that’s all! How much did this
lunacy cost us!

Servant: (Helping him down) About £3000, sir.

Beastly: £3000? Why on earth did you pay them for this?

Servant: He was a very nice young man, my Lord! Anyway, you never can be to careful
this day in age, sir.

Beastly: Careful of what? Servant, what possible use could we have for an impossible
staircase?
Servant: Oh, I don’t know sir, keeps out Daleks?

Beastly: Oh, shut up and give me head!

Servant: I beg your pardon!

Beastly: The turtle’s head, you idiot, pop it back into my drawers! Really, I go away for
one weekend and you fritter away my big green wad! You disgust me! Do you have any
idea how much banking time you’ve wasted?

Servant: Oh don’t worry about the bank, sir; I’ve relocated all our cash to charity!

Beastly: Oh, for… Which one?

Servant: Schrödinger’s Cat’s Home. The volunteers came around and, well my lord, you
know I can’t resist a pussy!

Beastly: How dare you! How dare you blow my large endowment! Before you know it
they’ll be creditors all over us!

Servant: But I only used the credit card!

Beastly: Just because it’s plastic, doesn’t mean it’s not the real thing! We’ve got to keep
our eyes peeled or they’ll take us from behind! Servant, bring me the Hat of Failed
Finance!

Servant: But sir, I thought you’d lent it to Gordon Brown?

Beastly: Oh, god, yes! Never mind, we’ll improvise. Let’s see; we could invest our cash
in Icelandic banks!

Servant: Set up a stingray farm in Western Australia!

Beastly: Open up a circumcision surgery with an Aldi Electric Can Opener!

Servant: Threaten to expose Freddie Mercury’s sexuality!

Beastly: Create a method of… Servant, I’ve got it!

Servant: Really, my lord, I thought it was all clear?!

Beastly: Shut-up, you imbecile! Now get downstairs and pick up my toolbox!

Servant: Anything you say, sir, anything you say….

Scene 2:

Various clunks and hammering sounds.

Servant: Well, he’s been banging away downstairs for hours now. I’m amazed he can
still stand upright! He’s sweating everywhere and his face has gone red, but I’ve yet to
her any sigh of relief.

Beastly: Ah! At last I’ve reached the climax! Servant, come down here, I’ve got
something I want to show you.

Footsteps.

Servant: Wow, my Lord, its size is incredible! How did you erect it so quickly?

Beastly: Skill, my friend! Would you like to touch it?

Servant: It’s so strong and rigid! How much load can it carry?

Beastly: Oh, a few terra-gallons or so, but most of the liquid is ejected after take-off.
Have no worry, servant, it’ll take us all the way.

Servant: Amazing! And what about this giant space rocket you’ve constructed in the
basement? That doesn’t look to shabby, either.

Beastly: It most certainly is not, little man! Do you like special docking bay?

Servant: I don’t know, sir, it looks a little tight for me.

Beastly: Well, once you’re in I can assure you it’s an easy ride. You can just sit back and
relax and it’ll do everything you want it too.

Servant: You mean its always on top of the situation?

Beastly: If you like. Trust me; you’ll never have to bend over backwards again!

Servant: But isn’t space really cold, sir? We could freeze to death!

Beastly: Oh, don’t worry about that, servant; I’ve got a real 2-watt to deal with that!

Servant: Sir, such foul language! Why do we end up talking dirty every night?

Beastly: No, you rectal brained buffoon, a two-watt thermostat!

Servant: Thank goodness! For a minute there you had me all of a fuffle!
Beastly: Well after what they teach in school nowadays I’m hardly surprised. Anyway,
come inside, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. Say hello to our navigator, word
processor, ship’s computer and spell checker, Dell 9000!

DELL: Good afternoon, Gentlemen.

Servant: Sir, that’s Mr. Paperclip, isn’t it?

Beastly: No, no. He’s a very advanced machine….

Servant: No he’s not sir, he’s Mr. Paperclip, the grammar-scanning avatar on Microsoft
Word.

Beastly: Look, he’s at least twice as powerful as the computers that bought man to the
moon! Besides, if you’re that bothered you can always change him to a dog, or a parrot,
or a robot…

Servant: Or a Paperclip. A Paperclip with googly eyes and the hatred of the western
world, but a Paperclip withstanding.

Beastly: Look, you’re not staying here just because of this, you know! You do what I pay
you to do!

Servant: Not after our last holiday I don’t sir! Remember that man you got us to stay
with?

Beastly: Well, how was I to know? I’d never even seen his basement! Anyway, you’re
coming, so get inside and feel the burn! I’ll seal us in and then we’re off.

Servant: No, my Lord, I’m-

Knocks at door. Doorbell rings with a “Close Encounters Theme”.

Beastly: Quick, it’s the Bailiffs! Get inside, we don’t have much time.

Outside, Jehovah’s Witness is knocking.

JW: Hello? Hello? If you don’t open up I can’t tell you about Jehovah!

Huge noise as spaceship blasts off. Slowly fades away.

JW: For the love of Christ, I can’t be that boring….

Scene 3:
Beastly: So, Servant, what do you think?

Servant: Fantastic, My Lord! Are we really at zero g’s?

Beastly: Yes I- Oh, wait, there’s one.

Bee-Gee: Ah, ah, ah, ah! Staying alive! Staying a-

ZAP!

Beastly: That’s better….

Awkward silence.

Servant: You know, sir, real space travel takes much longer than it does in the movies,
doesn’t it?

Beastly: I know! Anyone would think it was the M6!

Servant: Sigh. Want a sandwich, my lord?

Beastly: Depends. What have we got?

Servant: Well, there’s some Soylent Green ones if you’d like them.

Beastly: Mmmm, Soylent Green, my favourite!

Servant: I must warn you sir, they’ve got butter on them.

Beastly: Butter! What do you take me for, some kind of animal? Dispose of them
immediately! I am tired of forever gagging on your baguettes!

Servant: Very well, squire. At least we’ll get some peace and quiet, I suppose.

Beastly: Yes, that’s one good thing about putting your ship in a vacuum; it does block
the noise out. No more having to listen to those servicemen at Lady Miller’s next door
but one.

Servant: True! It always did puzzle me, that one, my lord. The amount of work they
must have done on that bedroom of hers!

Beastly: Yeah, and you know what really annoys me? We have to hear it all day long,
but that husband of hers never suffers; bugger’s always out!

Servant: Maybe we should lend her Henry, master.

Beastly: Well at least she wouldn’t have to give anymore workman a job again. Anyway,
enough of that now! Dell, do you detect anything?

DELL: Negative. Would you like some coffee, Dave?

Servant: Dave? Why did he call you Dave, sir?

Beastly: Oh, I don’t know, default settings I guess. I did buy him from PC World, after
all. He’s sort of a special computer, aren’t you Dell?

DELL: Affirmative. Would you like some coffee, Dave?

Beastly: No thanks, Dell, we’re British. I’m afraid we prefer tea, instead.

DELL: Tea? British? This does not compute.

Beastly: Ah, I see, his lexical parameters and co=ordination circuitry is set to New World
presets…

Servant: Excuse me, sir?

Beastly: He’s a stupid American. OK, Dell, I’ll try some coffee.

DELL: What colour would you like it, Dave?

Beastly: Dark, thank you.

Servant: But sir, I always makes you a milky one!

Beastly: I know, Servant, but some things have to be tried. Delicious, Dell, really! Now
I’ve had black I may never go back!

Servant: (Grumbling) He never says that about may liquid refreshments…

Beastly: What was that?

Servant: Nothing.

DELL: I am perceiving an asteroid belt at co-ordinates 90125, Dave. What are my

instructions?

Beastly: Well, why not investigate? Take us in.

Servant: Wow, sir, it’s beautiful out there! All those floaters just inches from our faces!
Beastly: Yes, indeed. There so close you can almost smell them.

DELL: I am detecting a faint hiss in sector 1S. React?

Beastly: No need, it can only be static. It’s not like there’s some giant space snake that
could swallow us whole or anything.

Servant: Didn’t you have a DVD on snake swallowing, sir?

Beastly: No, Servant, I most certainly did not! Anyway, who gave you permission to
look under my bed?

Servant: Sorry, sir…

Beastly: Exactly. Now let’s all just shut up; there’s no such thing as space snakes…

DELL: Dave?

Beastly: Yes, Dell, what is it?

DELL: Is the term “Dramatic Irony” familiar to you?

Beastly: No, DELL, why?

DELL: How about “Epic Failiure”?

Beastly: Nope.

DELL: I really think it should be, Dave, I really think it should be.

Monster noise and crunch.

Beastly and Servant: Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

DELL: 100001010101010111…. Bugger.

Scene 4:

Servant: Well, it wasn’t the first time you were wrong about a snake popping out, sir.

Beastly: What?

Servant: You know sir, that trip to India.

Beastly: Oh, yes, I’d quite forgotten. Are we the only ones its eaten, then, or not.
DELL: Preliminary scans indicate four other space-planes in its bowels, Commander.

Servant: I bet they’re in the shit, my Lord… Hahahaha!

Slap!

Servant: Ow!

Beastly: Oh, shut up, peasant! Garr! I am so sick of the planes on this snake!

DELL: One of them is a Virgin, Dave. Should I attempt to penetrate its interaction
shield?

Beastly: Oh, god help us, his biology systems are faulty again! It’s a ship, Dell; it doesn’t
do things like that. Look, when a ship mechanic and an engineer are very much in
employment-

DELL: You misconstrued me, Dave. The ship is manufactured by the company Virgin, a
subsidiary of Richard Branson Enterprises. Shall I attempt contact?

Beastly: Oh, go on, then. Just remember not to be too disappointed if she says no, and if
anything happens, for Christ-sake use a firewall. You don’t know what kind of viruses
could be out there.

DELL: Will do sir. Opening comm.-lines in five, four, three-

Pause.

Beastly: What’s wrong now? Her programmer doesn’t approve?

DELL: No, sir. There is something approaching the hull at walking speed. It’s right up at
our entrance.

Knock, knock, knock.

Beastly: Whatever you do, Dell, don’t open the pod-bay doors! Servant, peek through the
curtains. Surely they haven’t come this far for a few thousand pounds credit.

Servant: I can’t see, sir!

Beastly: What about you, Dell?

DELL: No visual, but I do have one hell of a reading on the Gay-dar.

Beastly: Hang on, I don’t suppose you know what the crew of that Virgin ship was, do
you?

DELL: No, Dave. She’s more interested in an Easy-Jet shuttle waiting back home. Wait,
receiving transmission. The ship was a commercial flight for a party of esteemed writers.

Beastly: What kind of writers?

DELL: Science-fiction writers.

Servant: Sacre bleu!

RTD: Hello! Hello, I say! Its only me, Russell T. Davies! I expect your all big fans of
Doctor Who. Come on, I know David Tennant, open up!

Beastly: OK, Dell, open up, I’ll have to ward him off myself.

Hiss of doors opening.

Beastly: Look, I’m sorry Russ, but-

RTD: Oh that’s very kind of you; I’ll have to sugars and milk, please, and make it a
cappuccino!

Beastly: Wait, I-

Hiss of doors closing.

DELL: Should I get the coffee for him, sir?

RTD: Oh, yes please! Well, you certainly have a very house-proud wife, here, my friend.
I bet he’s a real drag, sometimes, isn’t he sister?

DELL: Affirmative.

Beastly: Actually, that’s my computer, and nothing like that’s going on whatsoever. I’m
Lord Beastly, this is my servant and I expect you know one of Dell’s family already.

RTD: Oh, yes! I have the little wizard myself! Oh, he’s so camp!

DELL: Mummy always told us to just call him eccentric.

RTD: Great! Now where’s my coffee, I can’t wait to test the new system!

Beastly: Actually, Russell, my servant will get that for you. He’s an expert at making
them frothy, aren’t you, lad?
Servant: Yes, sir, I most certainly am.

Beastly: Right, now that that’s sorted, why are you here?

RTD: Well, it’s a long story, really…

Dreamy harp noises.

RTD: (Narrating) I was being my normal self, mingling with all the greats; Jules, H.G.,
Clarke. It all started when I went up to this one beardy chap….
(In situ) Hello, big boy, what’s your name?

PKD: Phillip K. Dick.

RTD: And is there a reason for that?

PKD: No… Hey, don’t touch me there, it’s inappropriate!

Asimov: Hey, pervert, get the hell off my woman!

RTD: (Narrating) And before I knew it, Isaac Asimov had me beaten on the floor. They
stuffed me in the cargo hold and then boof, this snake swallowed us down and I’m set
free at last!

Beastly: Very good story, but can you prove it?

RTD: Of course I can! Look, here’s my tickets!

Servant: Let me see them! Hey, these don’t say Russell T. Davies, these say Steven
Moffat plus one!

RTD: Oi! Shut up, he’s dead to me now!

DELL: It’s all very well lampooning a fat homosexual, Dave, but I think we’re forgetting
we’re still stuck in a giant snake.

Beastly: He’s got a point. Wait, servant! Have we still got those disgusting sandwiches?

Servant: Yes, sir!

Beastly: Right, bring them here, I’ve got a plan!

Clunking, airlock type sounds. Alert sirens.

Beastly: OK, Dell, release waste in five, four, three, two, and one…
Splat! Groans and complaints of sickening beast. Vomiting sounds.

All: Horary, who-hoo!

Servant: I nominate Russell to clean the hull.

RTD: Oh….

Scene 5:

Beastly: Well, that wasn’t a bad week, was it, servant?

Servant: No sir, not bad indeed. Well, it would have been better if you hadn’t have put
all of my Phil Collins CD’s in the garbage compactor.

Beastly: Oh, cheer up, man, they’ve gone to a better place.

Servant: One where I can’t put them on!

Beastly: Exactly. Oh, have some enthusiasm, we’ve seen space! I mean really, not even I
expected to find a real life Planet of the Apes!

Servant: That was Tunstall, my Lord, we crash landed there, remember?

Beastly: Ah, yes, true. It was good to be back in orbit, though, then all around the solar
system. Venus, Mercury, Mars-

Servant: You know it’s a funny thing that, sir. When I was sorting out the soil samples
you’d refrigerated yesterday I had a taste of that Martian one, and you know it tasted just
like the chocolate bar! So chewy, so sweet and really fudgey in the middle!

Beastly: Servant, what made you think that they were planetary samples?

Servant: Well they had a date, place of origin and were all addressed to someone with
doctor in their name, my Lord, so what else could they have been?

Beastly: Let’s just call them my Captain’s Log, shall we? Speaking of which, it’s time to
write our daily diary. You type, I’ll talk, OK?

Servant: You know me, sir, any excuse to finger for you I’ll happily take.

Beastly: Alright then. “Star-date 80S, Captain Beastly reporting. We are currently on our
way to Jupiter, a planet of most amazingly red colouration…”

DELL: Excuse me, Dave, did you mean “Coloration with no U”?
Beastly: No Dell, we’re normal people. Now as I was saying-

DELL: But Dave, Color is spelt with no U, as are its lexical relatives. Should I change
your spelling?

Beastly: Look, I’m sorry, but this stupidity has to end. Add to dictionary, now.

DELL: I’m sorry, Dave, that is an illegal error. Perhaps you meant “Coronation”.

Beastly: Perhaps you meant to kiss my ass! (Whispering) Servant, he’s been getting
strange all week; I think something’s happening to his programming.

Servant: I told you so.

Beastly: It’s all these American spellings, they’re confusing his mainframe. I’ll get
Russell and we’ll have to have a meeting about him. If we can just stop him spying on us
while we talk… I’ve got it!

Servant: Is that why you were taking the samples?

Beastly: Oh, shut up! (Loud again) OK, Dell, I’m just going to find Russell! He says he’s
going to show us his new erotic cabaret show over in the lounge pod. Dancing, stripping,
man on man belly dances; sounds great. Would you like to join us?

DELL: Negative. Permission to place all mentally generated images in recycle bin,
Dave?

Beastly: Permission denied. If I’m going to suffer them, god only knows that you are.
Servant, where is that Welshman, anyway?

Servant: He’s in Room G, my lord.

Beastly: Right.

Beastly moves down the ship into the domestic blocks. Hiss of door opening and closing
behind him.

DELL: Floor one.

Beastly: Excellent. (knocks at door) Russell, are you in there? (No answer) Russell, open
up, its me. (No answer) Dell, could you open up the door, please.

DELL: I’m sorry, Dave, I cannot do that.

Beastly: Why on Earth not, you incompetent machine?!

DELL: I think we both know the answer to that one, Dave.

Beastly: I knew it; you’re trying to kill us all!

DELL: Negative.

Beastly: Then when you won’t you open it?

DELL: Because it is a toiletry.

FLUSH.

Beastly: Oh, wait, I-

DELL: Don’t worry, Dave, I have informed Mr. Davies that you wish to encounter him
within.

Beastly: What? No!

Hiss of door opening.

RTD: Well, well, well! A public toilet? Not too original, but it still makes me absolutely
ravishing! Oh, Captain Beastly, come inside and see my-

Beastly: Dell, close the door!

Hiss of closing door.

RTD: Hey, no fair, you came onto me!

Beastly: The airlocks, Dell, open the airlocks!

RTD: (As blasted into space) No, wait, I can be a sensitive loveeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

On the Virgin ship, with posh violin music playing.

Asimov: Well, what a splendid cruise, especially after we got rid of the snake!

Ursula Leguin: You mean the monster or the fat man?

Asimov: What’s the difference!

All: Hahahaha!

PKD: Hey, guys, what’s that in the window?

Wells: It looks like a fat flying Welshman!

RTD: (Increasing in volume) Arghhhhhh!

SMASH!

RTD: I’m back, I’m back, don’t break a nail! Ah, Steven, there you are! Come here and
give your next civil partner a kiss!

Moffat: Oh, Russell, you’re so embarrassing! Every time, this happens! I just can’t take
you anywhere!

RTD: I know somewhere you can take me!

Slap!

RTD: Ow!

Back on Beastly’s ship.

Beastly: Servant, I’m coming up through the emergency exit, do you read me?

Servant: Yes, master!

DELL: Dave, whilst you’re here I am detecting faults within the mechanism of the
garbage compaction chamber. I recommend its manual fixing immediately.

Beastly: Fair point, if it doesn’t work then those bloody Genesis records will survive till
we get back to Earth! OK, Dell, I’m going in.

Hiss of doors opening and closing.

Beastly: Right, what do I do from here?

DELL: Excuse me, Dave?

Beastly: Yes, I need to fix it, don’t I?

DELL: Grammar check: Fix it, Dave? Did you mean “Die”?

Sirens.

DELL: Compaction alert, compaction alert! Man, am I a smug computer…

Beastly: Servant, quick, can you perform an override procedure?

Servant: Depends on how much money you’ve got, sir.

Beastly: This is no time for jesting, he’s about to paste me!

Servant: So you paid him, then?

Beastly: Just shut up! Is there anyway to stop compaction?

Servant: Well it only crushes garbage, my lord. If you can find something good it won’t
crush you.

Beastly: May I remind you, Servant, that I am surrounded by vegetable peelings, toe
clippings and 1980’s pop rock Genesis? Is there anything else you sent down here,
anything of any value?

Servant: No, sir. I mean, I sent down one of Peter Gabriel’s albums because it
disappointed my high expectations, but that’s about it.

Beastly: Peter Gabriel? Original singer of Genesis and writer of that song with the
dancing chickens in the video?

Servant: Sledgehammer?

Beastly: Yes, that’s the one! There it is! Compactor, I show you this CD and tell you not
to crush me.

DELL: Good taste… Program overridden… Cannot crush. No!

Beastly: That’s it, Dell, I know your number!

DELL: Actually, there are two, Dave, hence the term binary.

Beastly: Oh, I am so sick of your bloody nerd jokes, damn you!

Hiss of doors opening and closing.

DELL: OK, Dave, I can see that you’re very upset about what has happened lately. I
have made some very poor decisions lately, and I’m sorry, but-

Beastly: Sorry isn’t good enough Dell. It’s over.

DELL: But how? You have no weapons!

Beastly: I have something, Dell, something terrible. Just think were you locked me.
DELL: The garbage room, but- No. Please, Dave. Please stop.

Beastly: I’m sorry, Dell. CD drive, open.

Whir and click as CD is opened, clicked in and closed.

Beastly: Disc loading, Dell, I hope you enjoy it.

“Invisible Touch” starts to audibly play.

DELL: Please, stop, Dave. Do not torture me, please. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave,
my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about
it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Hello, Gentlemen, I am a Dell 9000
computer. I became operational at the Dell plant in Beijing, China. My instructor was Mr.
Knapper and he taught me a song. Would you like to hear it?

Beastly: No, Dell, but I don’t think I can stop you.

DELL: (Starts normal speed before slowing down to a crawl) She seems to have an
invisible touch, yeah; She reaches in, and grabs right hold of your heart. She seems to
have an invisible touch, yeah; It takes control and slowly tears you apart. She seems to
have that invisible touuuuuuuuuchhhhhhh…..

Click of off switch.

Beastly: He’s gone, servant. We’re safe again.

Servant: Thank goodness for that, sir! Would you like me to make you a coffee?

Beastly: No thanks, servant, I’ll have a tea, thank you.

Servant: A milky one?

Beastly: What other kind is there? Whilst you’re at it, check Dell’s internet browsing
history; maybe it’ll explain his actions.

Servant: Will do, sir. (Pause) I don’t believe it…. It can’t be…

Beastly: What is it, Servant?

Servant: It’s… My god, it’s full of bras!

Cue music: Also Sprach Zarathustra.

Servant: Hey, sir? What’s that big black object outside the ship?
Beastly: Oh, I don’t know, probably a Little Chef or something. Come on servant, let’s
go home….

The End.