SEMINAR 1

THE LANGUAGE OF NEGOTIATION

I once negotiated the purchase of a large building, for which the seller wanted over a
million dollars. I raised the issue of the high costs of replacing the plumbing and
electrical wiring. My opponent said the wiring problem was curable functional
obsolescence. Huh? Couldn't he just say that the outdated wiring could be replaced?
Keep It Simple
Hard to Understand

Easier to Understand

Execution of documents

Signing the papers

Remuneration

Salary; wages; any financial benefit

To wit

Namely

Tendering possession

Moving out

Warrants

Promises

Use Descriptive Language

Here's a true story that clearly illustrates the power of descriptive language. A lawyer
represented a boy who had lost both arms in a train accident. When the lawyer made his
final argument to the jury, he simply said, Ladies and gentlemen, I just had lunch with
this boy. He eats just like a dog. His image was attention-grabbing language at its finest.
The jury ruled for the injured boy.
That's precisely what you want language to do get your opponent's attention. Before you
negotiate, think about the most persuasive words and phrases you can use to give your
presentation impact. Remember that your words are the vehicles that drive thoughts from
your mind to your opponent's mind. Would you rather send your thoughts in a Lexus or a
car ready for the junk heap?

Avoid catch-all phrases they're too broad to have any meaningful impact.

Q: Will you close a negotiation by saying, That takes in the whole ball of wax. or So
now we're in agreement on the sales price, the quantity, the shipping date, and the terms
of payment. ?
Catch-All Phrase

Specific Terms

We've settled everything. (commonly used

when closing a bargaining session)

We've settled the following points: (list specific

terms).

Financial package. (commonly used in

business negotiations and salary
discussions)

We've agreed upon these finances: (list specific

terms).

Settlement package.

The settlement terms are as follows: (list

specific terms).

Under warranty.

The warranty for (list specific product) includes

(list specific terms of warranty).

Repair job or Remodel job.

(Mention specific product) will have (list

specific problem) repaired for (list agreed-upon
price).

Say you're selling your car and you want to emphasize how well it's been maintained.
You can say that the car is in very good condition or you can relate all the tune-ups, oil
changes, and washing and waxing you've done. Your detailed description (supported, if
possible, with receipts) will make a much greater impact on your opponent.
Case: Imagine you are being interviewed for a new job by a human resources
manager. Suppose you had a successful interview and got the job. Now you need to
negotiate your remuneration package. (pair-work)
Speak Your Opponents Language
Every profession has its own specialized language, or jargon. If you're going to be
negotiating a deal that involves technical knowledge such as a complex real estate deal or
a complicated car repair you'll need to be familiar with the lingo.

Buying a Home

Leasing a Car

Appraising Property

Warranty deed

Closed lease

Appraiser

Lien

Lessor

Fair market value

Escrow

Lessee

Highest and best use

Fixtures

Leasing agreement

Depreciation

Special assessments

Security deposit

Cost approach

Survey

Trade-in allowance

Income capitalization approach

Mortgage

Standards for wear and use

Comparable sales approach

Mortgagor

Wholesale value at end of lease

Mortgagee
Title policy

Speaking your opponent's language boosts your negotiating power for a number of
reasons:
Your opponent will immediately understand and relate to what you're saying.
Your opponent will be much more likely to be influenced by what you're saying.
Your opponent will recognize you as an equal.
Think about all the ads for car leasing you've seen these days - they're hotbeds of jargon
and specialized terminology. If you're in the market to lease a car, the agent might
mention a closed lease. At the outset, you'd want the leasing agent to define the term. (For
the record, it means that at the end of the lease you can return the car with no further
obligations.)
Or, if you work in real estate, you understand the difference between a net lease, a net,
net lease, or even a net, net, net lease. (Imagine how confusing it must be to use them in
conversation - they even look puzzling on paper!)
So make it clear at the outset that when you say net, net, net lease, you are talking about a
lease in which the tenant pays all taxes, insurance, repairs, and maintenance, and other
charges and expenses of operating and maintaining the property, and the rent the property
owner receives is free of all those charges and expenses.

Q: What are the problems that you can envisage in a conversation based on jargon usage?
Imagine a conversation between yourself and an ING representative who tries to explain
to you how to use your credit card (for the first time).
The Sound of Silence
Silence, as Winston Churchill once observed, enhances one's authority. Don't assume that
you have to out-talk your opponent to win at negotiation. You have too much to lose by
mouthing off indiscriminately:
You lose the opportunity to think about what you should be saying and when you
should be saying it.
You lose the chance to hear your opponent's positions and formulate the best
response to them.
You may inadvertently blurt out information that damages your negotiating
position.
Q: Can any kind of culture accommodate this kind of approach?
Case: I once represented a widow whose husband's poorly drafted will caused her a great
deal of financial confusion. Her tax statements were audited, and the revenue agent who
reviewed the case started claiming that she owed a lot of money. I tried to convince him
that she didn't but he wouldn't let up.
After several arduous conversations, he finally blurted out the real reason he was
pursuing her so doggedly: she was a test case. The government sometimes tries these
cases in order to set future tax policy. My client, in other words, was being used as sort of
a legal guinea pig. Once I knew that, I figured out how to remove her situation from the
test case category, and the issue was settled.
Remain silent after your opponent has made a proposal - your silence suggests
disappointment or disapproval. Your opponent may rush in, offering concessions that will
sweeten the deal. Whenever an opponent makes a proposal whether it's a good one or not
always consider giving it the silent treatment.

What if you're a constant chatterbox who finds it difficult to remain silent? If you are
uncomfortable with silence (many people are), there are some easy techniques you can
use to keep from mouthing off:

Calm yourself by taking a deep, long breath. Don't speak while you do this.
Gently grit your teeth (don't hurt yourself!). This will provide you with a potent
physical reminder to stay silent.
If you have a drink with you, take a long, slow sip. This will physically prevent
you from saying anything until you've finished.

The Art of Extrapolation

Say you're thinking of doing some fishing but you want to be sure you'll catch more than
the sun's rays. So you approach a stranger fishing off a dock and ask, Having any luck?
I'm on my third carton of bait and I've been here only a half hour, the stranger replies.
So what do you think about fishing now? Just by considering the facts, you were able to
draw the conclusion that the fishing is fine. That's called extrapolation- using facts to
come to a conclusion. When you extrapolate, you discover for yourself the answer to
your own questions and so does your opponent.

Extrapolation is a powerful bargaining tool because we are always more influenced by

our own conclusions than anyone else's. If you can state the facts in a way that forces

your opponent to draw her own conclusion, the conclusion you want her to reach, you
stand a much better chance of winning the negotiation.
Say you want to sell your business. You have a potential buyer who asks, What kind of
profit can this business make?
You can offer your opinion, or the opinions of other knowledgeable people. But why not
let the buyer draw her own conclusion? Why not extrapolate? Here's what you might say:
Sales have increased an average of ten percent over the last three years, and net profits
fifteen percent over that same period. The company has two new products that are hot
sellers and another product in the development stage that looks very promising.
By stating facts about the business's performance, you allow the buyer to form her own
conclusions about the future profit potential of your business.
Activity: Come up with an example of your own in which extrapolation was used to
close the deal/ settle the situation.
A Final Word on Language - Conclusions
Like anything else, your command of language will only increase with practice, practice,
practice. Read a wide variety of books, magazines, and newspapers so you harvest a wide
vocabulary. (That way you won't be thrown when someone whispers curable functional
obsolescence in your ear.)
Practice speaking plainly in all situations. Strive to communicate, not to impress. Learn to
stay silent when you have nothing to say. You will be a more valued conversationalist and
a ferocious negotiator.
Use simple language instead of complex terminology.
If your opponent uses terms you don't understand, ask for clarification.
Be as descriptive as possible. Avoid generalities.
Learn to remain silent when you aren't sure what to say or when you've made a
strong point.
Use extrapolation to let your opponent draw her own conclusions. It is more likely
to motivate your opponent than anything you say.
Cultivate a wide vocabulary at every opportunity.