INT.

OFFICE - DAY

DAX BAXTER stands in front of an already rolling camera... He wears a baby-blue pinstripe
suit with flares and Cuban Heels, he has a thick brown Mustache and his hair is long and
heavily greased... He stares directly into the camera lens and hovers too long before starting
to speak...

DAX

Oh hi... I didn't see you there...

DAX slowly walks towards the camera as it too pans back with him... He walks with
Purpose...

DAX

You know... Bob Dylan once said "A man is a success, if he wakes up each morning and goes
to bed each night, and does exactly what he wants in between..." But guess what... Bob
Dylan, was a SEXIST!

DAX quickly turns his head around to face another camera directly behind him, whereupon it
Crash Zooms into a close-up of his mustache-ridden face.

DAX

That's right men... welcome to the future... it's 2010 now, and in this day and age, it's not only
men who can do whatever they want, but WOMEN AS WELL!... Women are also allowed to
vote, hold steady jobs, and even make decisions on behalf of men!

DAX lifts his leg up onto a chair and leans on his knee... Then re-focuses on the camera...

DAX

I'm here to show YOU, the good working class man (with much enthusiasm, and possibly
with the help of ANOTHER crash zoom) OR WOMAN!... how to avoid

The Title "Sexism In The Workplace" comes onscreen as DAX yells, unnecessarily loud

DAX

SEXISM, IN THE WORKPLACE!!!

ext/int - various locations - day

Cue awesome 80s pop rock to montage of DAX driving around with his head popped out of
the window in his extremely underwhelming white car, Then sitting very seriously reading a
dictionary upside down, then dancing rather enthusiastically with a walkman in hand...

INT. OFFICE - DAY

DAX stands in an office hallway, an attractive female walks towards the camera from the
back of the room, past DAX as he talks...

DAX

Did you know that something as simple as slapping a fellow female employee's bottom, or
grabbing her right or left breast as a joke, can be considered sexual harrasment? Well i
didn't... And as a legal obligation to my still pending sexual harrasment court case, i'm
required to star in this instructional video to help other men avoid making the same mistakes i
did...

DAX looks silently at the floor for a moment, then, with much gusto, launches back into his
speech...

DAX

Why don't we take a look at some examples...

MANDY, a very attractive woman in businesss clothing walks past, as she does so DAX goes
to slap her arse, whereupon the frame freezes and the words "SEXIST!" pop onto screen...

MANDY, again walks the same route as before, past DAX, this time he stands up as she
walks past and engages her in a conversation...

DAX

Why, hello Mandy... You look very nice today... I look forward to engaging in a purely
professional business relationship...

MANDY

(she begins to talk but is cut off almost immediately by dax, who gives a thumbs up to the
camera and says)

dax

Cracking Good Stuff!

DAX now stands by a water-cooler, MANDY once again approaches him... DAX takes a cup
of water from the cooler and promptly poors it all over MANDY'S white shirt... The screen
Freezes and the words "SEXIST" once again pop onscreen...

MANDY approaches DAX once again, this time he poors a cup of water and offers it to
MANDY... She looks thankful and begins to sip the water, whereupon Dax slaps her ass and
gives a thumbs up to the camera

DAX
That's a good girl!

DAX sits behind a computer desk, he types over-enthusiastically and clearly isn't paying
attention to the computer screen... He eventually turns to the camera once again...

DAX

You know, sometimes being sexist has nothing to do with grabbing tits or arse... Sometimes
sexism can lie in the ignorance some men have towards some of the serious issues women
have...

Cut to DAX approaching MANDY once again... he sits directly in front of her on her work-
desk...

DAX

(speaking to camera)

Believe it or not, women like Mandy have real issues, they feel like they're descriminated
against, and treated like little more than an object, or commodity in our Patriarcal society...
It's good to try and clear the air every now and then, and just remind them that you know
what they're going through...

DAX looks down to MANDY and begins talking

DAX

Hi Mandy... Gee i just got my period... Don't you hate feeling irrational and bad tempered
towards men once a month... And talk about stomach cramps...

DAX turns to the camera and winks whilst giving a thumbs up... MANDY looks suitably
appalled...

Cut back to even more awesoeme 80s montage stuff...

ext/int. various locations - day

montage:

DAX runs up several stairs and then back down again... A woman can be seen crying as DAX
zips up his trousers... DAX drinks a can of coke super fast then smashes the can against his
forehead...

end montage:

INT. OFFICE - DAY

DAX stands in front of the camera with a visible ring on his forehead the size of a coke can...
He begins to speak
DAX

So don't make the same mistake i did men... Next time YOU'RE trying and convince a fellow
employee that she imagined it all... Just take a minute to think about how she FEELS...
because, believe it or not... women have feelings too... And hey... Without women, we
wouldn't have men, and what kind of a world would that be?

DAX places his leg up on a chair and rests his chin in his hand, staring at the cieling... camera
pulls away...

END