Kin 1

Samantha Kin
Writing 122
Amy Cox
March 11, 2016
Lets Be Honest About Stereotypes
When you think of the word wedding, what immediately comes to mind? You might
think of the stunning, angelic bride gliding down the aisle on her fathers arm and the handsome
groom waiting patiently for her at the alter. You might think of the brides exquisite, ivory dress
or the grooms bright, shining smile when he sees his fiance for the first time that day. This
stereotypical description of a wedding is the most prominent one in Americans minds today;
however, it is not the only rendition of how weddings happen and appear.
As of June 2015, same-sex marriage is legal in the United States. Wedding ceremonies
can now consist of couples who look different than expected, which can include two females or
two males walking down the aisle. Our society has become more accustomed to different ways in
which people want to be bonded for life. A movie that came out in July of 2015, Jennys
Wedding, illustrates a story about Jenny who strives to marry to her girlfriend, Kitty, with her
parents approval. Eddie and Rose, Jennys parents, react disapprovingly to Jennys coming out
because they are extremely conservative and close-minded. Contrastingly, Eddie and Rose are
supportive of Jennys sisters marriage simply because it is heteronormative. Similarly, in the
beginning credits of the movie, a montage of black and white wedding photographs of
heterosexual couples is shown. The pictures, as well as Jennys parents approval of her sisters
heteronormative marriage, reinforce the idea of marriage as being solely between a man and a
woman. Jennys Wedding critiques the lesbian stereotype that every lesbian couple needs a

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masculine figure because it portrays heteronormative values as outdated through Jennys parents
reactions to their daughters choice of a partner.
Before discussing lesbian roles and Jennys Wedding, we must first address stereotypical
gender roles of men in American society in order to better understand how heteronormative
views are applied to lesbian relationships. Aaron Devor, the Dean of social sciences at the
University of Victoria, focuses on how culture constructs the way females and males are
supposed to act and look like in his article, Gender Role Behaviors and Attitudes. Devor
describes typical masculinity as dominant and aggressive:
Body postures, speech patterns, and styles of dress which demonstrate and
support the assumption of dominance and authority convey an impression of
masculinity. Typical masculine body postures tend to be expansive and
aggressive. () Persons who communicate an air of authority or a readiness for
aggression by standing erect and moving forcefully also tend to appear more
masculine. (Devor 676)
These supposed qualities of males define the masculine gender role, as opposed to the typical
feminine traits having to do with submission, vulnerability, and dependence on men. Jennys
Wedding focuses on how gender roles of men and women are still portrayed within homosexual
relationships, even though both a man and woman are not present within Jenny and Kittys
relationship. From a heteronormative view, since both Kitty and Jenny are female, there would
need to be a more masculine figure between the two women for gender roles to exist within a
homosexual relationship. The lesbian stereotype that all lesbian couples need a masculine figure
develops through these preconceived gender roles.
Similarly, before we discuss Jennys Wedding further, we need to address the specific

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lesbian stereotype that states that within every lesbian couple, there must be a more masculine
partner or a butch. A butch is widely known as the partner within a lesbian relationship that has
mannish qualities and has the supposed male role within the relationship. Typically, she has short
hair, wears more masculine clothing, has a larger, stronger physique, and performs the more
manly tasks compared to her partner. This stereotype of lesbian couples exists today because of
the heteronormative views of love being between a male and a female and because of the
heteronormative ideas about gender. Many Americans have trouble with being open to and
grasping the concept of a homosexual relationship. These people think that even though a woman
is in love with another woman there still needs to be a more masculine person within the
relationship. In the context of Jennys Wedding, Jennys parents truly believe in this lesbian
stereotype. They feel that between their daughter and Kitty one of them needs to be masculine in
order for the relationship to make any sense to them. In this way, the lesbian stereotype of having
a butch partner within a relationship is outdated, and the film suggests broader views about
homosexuality.
Now that we have discussed gender roles and lesbian roles within society, we can talk
about Jennys Wedding and how the movie critiques the lesbian stereotype through Jennys
conservative parents, Eddie and Rose. Throughout the movie, Jennys parents refer to the
stereotype that there needs to be a manlier figure within a lesbian couple without even realizing.
When Jenny reveals her homosexuality to her parents, they are shocked, and they completely
disapprove of her partner choice. Most importantly, they are confused about what being in a
lesbian relationship means, and they immediately start to make assumptions about their
daughters relationship with Kitty. Rose tells Jenny, Now I dont even know if youll wear a
dress! Maybe youll wear a suit (Donoghue). In this instance, Jennys mother believes that

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someone needs to be wearing a suit at the wedding. Rose is consumed by her heteronormative
understanding of love, and she cannot look past her conservative views. In this way, these views
are shown as outdated in current society. Two women can get married and both wear wedding
dresses in the wedding, just as Jenny and Kitty do at the end of the movie. In another heated
scene, Eddie tells Jenny, I dont understand. I dont know whos who. Youre both feminine
girls, and I dont know what you do (Donoghue). In Jennys fathers eyes, there needs to be a
masculine figure in the relationship in order for him to understand their relationship and how
they have sexual fulfillment. He believes a man and a woman must have intercourse to create a
family. Eddie does not understand and is not educated about what lesbians do during intimacy or
about the options lesbians have when creating a family of their own and/or adopting a child. He
also says, If you were marrying a guy, I wouldnt think about it. Id know what you do
(Donoghue). His old-fashioned, conservative values constrain him from seeing around the
lesbian stereotype. Eddie cannot see his daughter for who she really is anymore because his
assumptions about lesbian stereotypes take over his thoughts and emotions. Overall, through
Jennys parents reactions to their daughters news about her love for Kitty, Jennys Wedding
portrays heteronormative values as outdated.
Some Americans who have seen the movie might say that Jennys Wedding does not
critique the lesbian stereotype that every lesbian couple needs a masculine figure because Jenny
herself displays certain traits that align to her parents heteronormative conceptions of
masculinity. It is believed that Jenny is the more masculine and dominant figure compared to her
partner. This, in particular, would support the lesbian stereotype instead of critique it. To clarify
further, Jenny definitely is the more dominant character compared to her partner. In the movie,
Jenny is aggressive and loud with her speech, very confident of herself and her choices, and

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daring when confronting her parents. She also appears to have a more muscular physique
compared to Kitty. These qualities replicate the masculine traits that Devor mentioned in his
article. All of these qualities are that of the typical male gender role, and they reinforce the
assumptions regarding the need for a masculine figure within a lesbian relationship.
Though this opposing argument is reasonable, within my argument specifically, we are
solely discussing Jennys parents reactions to her news about Kitty. Towards the end of the
movie, Rose finally has an epiphany, which serves as the most explicit critique of the masculine
lesbian stereotype. She becomes aware that relationships are not determined by whether or not
one partner is dominant, but rather by the fact that two individuals are good people and that they
are in love. In this realization scene, Jennys mother over hears her friends gossiping about her
daughter, and she immediately confronts them. Rose sobs as she screams, Since when did you
two become such big experts on whats normal and right?! () Just because the men sleep with
women and the women sleep with men. But Jenny who is generous and kind and has never hurt
anyone isnt normal and right because she wants to marry the woman she loves (Donoghue).
This sudden understanding within the film ultimately suggests that lesbians are people who
should be defined by their personality, the quality of their character, and their love for each other,
rather than by the outdated heteronormative gender roles that American society seems to uphold.
Jennys parents reactions towards their daughters choice of partner portrays
heteronormative values as outdated and proves how the movie, Jennys Wedding, critiques the
lesbian stereotype that every lesbian couple needs a masculine figure. This particular lesbian
stereotype is becoming less dominant within American society, and a lot of that has to do with
people hearing multiple stories about lesbian couples. A TED Talk given by novelist
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie called The Danger of a Single Story describes how when a person

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only hears one, single story about someone or somewhere, he or she creates a stereotype within
his or her mind about that person or place. She preaches about how these single stories or
stereotypes rob people and places of their true identities and show differences between places
and people instead of similarities. Jennys parents are guilty of stereotyping their daughter and
having one single story about her.
Relating to the TED Talk and Adichies thoughts, in the movie, Jennys Wedding, Jennys
parents view Jennys relationship as a single story of lesbians. When Eddie and Rose find out
about Jennys partner choice, they rob Jenny of her true personal identity by immediately judging
her, placing her within the stereotype, and emphasizing all of the differences that they now have
with her. The single story or stereotype that lesbian couples have one masculine partner is not
how all lesbian couples are, and Adichie recognizes this concept. In her TED talk she announces,
When we reject the single story, when we realize that there is never a single story about any
place [or person], we regain a kind of paradise. By hearing multiple stories and stepping away
from stereotypes of lesbians, all people can repair the broken dignities of gay individuals and
view homosexual people as equal human beings. When Jennys family finally remembers all of
Jennys good qualities, they focus on what they still have in common with her and terminate their
judgmental thoughts. Jenny is then revived and regains a kind of paradise because she can
finally be herself. Jennys Wedding teaches Americans that heteronormative values are outdated,
and in order to create a more equal society, these values need to be reconsidered.

Works Cited

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Devor, Aaron. Gender Role Behaviors and Attitudes. Signs of Life in the USA: Readings on
Popular Culture for Writers. Ed. Jack Solomon and Sonia Maasik. Boston: Bedford/St.
Martins, 2012. 672-678. Print.
Jennys Wedding. Dir. Mary Donoghue. Perf. Katherine Heigl, Tom Wilkinson, and Linda
Emond. IFC Films, 2015. Film.
The Danger of a Single Story. Perf. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. TED Talks, 2009. Video Clip.