Lisa Carrero

a poetry chapbook

Lisa Carrero a poet~ cna,obOOK

A Waterways Project Publication

Richard Spiegel Barbara Fisher cadi rectors Thomas Perry assistant

Stuart Kaufman teacher

Sharyn Wetjen, Principal High School Redirection

Stephen E. Phillips, Superintendent, Alternative High Schools & Programs

with funding support from

NYS Council on the Arts & Con Edison

©1995 Ten Penny Players

Holding On

When the ropes get thin and you're losing grip You must hold on and mustn't slip.

You'll give.it your best. You'll give it your all, But you must hold on and mustn't fall. You've taken a lot. You've taken enough, But please don't quit; just hang in tough. You think you're by yourself.

You think there's only one,

But, darling, that's when life has just begun.

2

My Brother

February 12 was a terrible day.

It was the day my brother passed away. I remember it like yesterday,

And I'm about to tell it to you today.

My brother came home for the first time in years, The family was so happy. Eyes full of tears.

He told me, "Let's go. Jump in the car:

We drove for miles. We went so far. When we got home we went inside. Mamma asked. "We went for a ride We went outside; and a car rolled up.

My cousin ducked; and my brother got shot. My mother heard the shot. She heard my yell. She said, "What the f ... ? What the hell?"

She ran outside. Seeing my brother falling down, She lifted his head from the ground.

She said, "What the hell happened? What did they do?" My friend told my cousin, "They were aiming for you."

In her tears she's saying, "Everything will be o.k."

Oh how I hate that dreadful day.

"Everything will be o.k.," was what we said;

But when we got to the hospital my brother was dead.

3

Single Parent

You've raised me right until this day.

If I was sick, you'd sent me to school anyway. Thanks to you, it's almost there;

The day I graduate and I want you there. You've helped me with my problems

and more to come.

If you have, I'll help with some.

I know you'll be happy when I walk down the aisle, Crying happy tears, "Look at my child."

You never needed anyone by your side.

When I do it, you'll walk with pride.

You'll say, "You did it all by yourself.

You never needed at all someone else." And I love you in the loud and silent, For you did it alone as a single parent

4

Mother

They say, "You only have one mother. There's only one no other."

I saw her name in a special place. Where she is she will be safe.

Her name is carved in stone.

She has gone away; leaving me alone. She was so special. She will be missed.

I miss giving her hugs; and miss being kissed. She was very pretty, that is true.

I never got to tell her, "Mom, I love you."

5

Why Are You Gone?

Why are you gone? Why aren't you here? I miss you, baby. I miss you, my dear.

I could never forget you. You are my world. I pray for you every night to the Lord.

My love for you will never stop;

If anything it's above the top.

My feelings for you will never change. They will always be the same.

No one told me how you passed. Why didn't your life last?

Well, I'll miss you. I send you a kiss. Take care. I love you, my little sis.

6

Goodbye

I remember when we used to play hookey; Then, at lunch we shared a cookie.

I remember everything that happened to us, I remember when you gave me trust.

You know I love you; and that's true.

But, there's something you don't know;

And I don't know how to tell you.

Well, let me start. It goes like this.

It all started with a simple kiss.

You started to touch and all that good stuff; Sometimes I wish you wouldntve,

I went to the doctor; and he gave me bad news. It all started with the concerns we didn1 use,

He said I'm pregnant and the baby's going to die; Maybe the baby or maybe J.

I have to choose before my due date. My decision you will hate.

Don't worry darling it's all for the best. One of us in peace will rest.

I chose me to die, but before I go There's two things I want you to know.

The baby will always love you and so willI.

Take care of the baby. Good luck. ! love you and goodbye.

7

I Miss You

I miss you baby. I miss you so much.

I miss yOU! eyes, your smile and tender touch. I never thought it would turn out to be;

To see our spirits fly separately.

Why it it happening, especially now?

I have no questions, but only "how?" How did 1t happen? How did you leave?

How could you break my heart and make it bleed? Although we're not together, although we're apart, In my mind and soul we'll be together,

especially in my heart.

B

-I

My Friend

I had this friend whom I love very much. But, now, we don't talk, not as much, Because of this one silly guy,

Who, she thinks, created the world, let alone the sky. He is nothing, not even a man.

He's not there when she needs a helping hand. When he disses her, she cries to me

And asks, "Why, Lisa? Why can't we be?" Now I told her, "What will it be?

Is it him? or is it me?"

She made me cry that awful day,

Because she said something I didn't want her to say. He told her she would also have to choose; .

That one of us she would have to dump and lose. Well, we were waiting just to see

Whom she'd dump and I found out it was me; Her best friend she'd rather miss.

I don't sweat it. I have a sis.

Now and then I sit and cry,

But it wasn't worth to say, "Goodbye."

9

9

This Guy

I once knew this man; well, more like a guy. He was very evil. He was not at all shy.

He seemed to be crazy; never once kind.

I think he was sick, but only in the mind. So, Jet me teJJ you of this so called guy.

The one who was never at all shy.

One day we were outside.

We heard shots, so we ducked to hide. Not him. He was so tough.

He tried to show off and pulled out his stuff. Why he did it I don't know.

We heard the cops, "Yo, where did he go?" He was never around; only at nights.

He was never alone in his fights.

To end this story short let me tell you That so called guy got shot too.

He went trigger happy on the wrong day. He turned around on the wrong time

and got blown away.

10

About The Book

I never liked reading books

or boring stories. But. thanks

to my seventh period teacher,

this one book took over my mind. Every time I had a free five minutes

I would run to the book my teacher gave me. This isn't just any book.

It's a book of the lives of teenagers; how they took the wrong path;

how they did ignorant things just for money. This book didn't only have one story.

It had many different ones.

As I read this book, my mind took over

and I was hypnotized by the people to the next page. I wouldn't mind reading stuff like this at all.

Not once did any teacher in my life

give me a book like this

only the one and only Mr. Kaufman.

11

a waterways project publicatimA

In Search of a Song Volume 75