Am I a reflective practitioner?

Endah Yanuarti
Doing some works on writing my proposal as well as reading resources on
reflective teaching and practice, a question has been address whether I am also
a reflective practitioner or just want others to be. I have to admit that I do
reflection a lot but did not take it seriously. As one of the example, I critisize
myself that I had to spend some times to write journals, articles, even books
during my working recess in my country, but it did not work until I continue my
study now. All the ideas just flew and I let it vanish somewhere.
When Peter, my co-supervisor, challenges me to write my reflection history I just
found out that it is not easy to express the idea on a microsoft document even it
is my own experience. It probably will happen in the future when I return to do
my fieldwork and one of the teachers may tell me that doing reflection is not
easy.
As my learning experiences history come to my mind, I realized that I did not
have many things to remember when I was in primary school to undergraduate
university student. I just did whatever teachers told me to do, memorise the
material and I became one of the good students from primary to secondary
school level. In senior high school, I became so pessimistic in learning because it
was hard for me to understand and do the science and mathematics, except
biology, and it was probably out of context of my working brain. Then I entered
university world to take my bachelor degree. It seemed that I liked certain
subject and it depended on how it was delivered by the lecturers. I could answer
questions and do the test but I could not understand the meaning of all those
subjects (except literature and extensive reading). Was it curriculums fault or my
fault?
Then I had a private student and taught him English. Suddenly I began to
understand how tenses work and other things systematically. I read books, and
explained him the meaning. Did the exercise together and discussed them. This
was my first reflection of my learning experiences that I should share my
knowledge to others to understand a subject.
I just jump to narrate my experiences in working as teacher trainer since 2006.
My institution is a technical unit in West Java Province and it is under The Ministry
Education in Indonesia. One of my job descriptions is to facilitate teachers in
understanding education issue. I seldom give presentation and what I like most is
subjects relate to critical, creative and innovative thinking for teachers. I do not
like present things if the presentations are given by government and so
structured. I have a good time when I present my own power point and the
contents can motivate teachers to do reflection, think creatively, critically and
innovatively. And the most important thing is they dedicate all the teaching and
learning activities are for the sake of students. To encourage teachers to do this I
always give the best presentation I can give, do my own works as examples

(writing case study or writing my critical reading and writing), so that I can show
them that everything is possible to do. This is my second reflection that to
motivate others I have to motivate myself to do it.
Actually this is one of my purpose to get my PhD. I intend to dedicate my
knowledge in order to improve teachers and education in my area. And it is
simple by assisting them to do reflection through action research projects.