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I Don't Wait Anymore
I Don't Wait Anymore
12/16/15 10:21 AM
Grace Thornton
12/16/15 10:21 AM
12/16/15 10:21 AM
Grace Thornton
12/16/15 10:21 AM
12/16/15 10:21 AM
Grace Thornton
12/16/15 10:21 AM
12/16/15 10:21 AM
Grace Thornton
across the kitchen table, explain it, and let me snap a photo
that I could keep in my pocket to make sense of things
later. But just like that day in England, a map was honestly
the last thing I needed.
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12/16/15 10:21 AM
Grace Thornton
Wow.
It was like I gave God His own dictionary when it
came to the most vibrant words there are, and I assigned
those words sterile and formulaic definitions that didnt
ring true in my human heart. And I didnt even realize that
there was something terribly skewed about that.
So I carried on loving. Trust lived the same kind
of soul-numbing half-life, and that showed on the day I
buried my dreamsI trusted God like Id trust a funeral
director to take care of all the arrangements properly. I
didnt trust Him like an intimate friend whose arms I
could fall into with tear-stained relief because hallelujah,
heres the Person who came just because He knows me and
loves me.
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commuters nod to the grandiose mountains on the horizon. Id never known God up close enough to be wrecked
by His love, close enough to want to put my dreams in His
hands with joy and relief, close enough to let Him write
new dreams if He wanted.
My faith had stayed small, stunted like a plant that
sat for years out of the suns rays but saw them streaming
through the windows every day from the other side of
the room.
Its hard to trust the intimate details of our lives to a
God we dont know intimately.
And its even harder to find joy in that surrender.
I wish I could tell you that girl with the tissue pile got out
of the shadows and into the sun that day. But thatd be a
lie. She didnt.
In fact, it was quite a while that I kept living my version of trusting God, working and running and biking
and making friends and building a life for myself. I tried to
make my blank slate productive, to take the mess of broken
pieces and build something new on my own. I was pursuing a life with drive. A life with purpose.
And all the while, Someone was pursuing me.
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Grace Thornton
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