Youre learning my secrets, and Im sharing my heart.

Your arms give me protection, and I

still feel them around me. I watch you, checking up, because I worry too much. I ask you
too many questions, but you never complain.
Youre slowly telling me about who you used to be. Im learning about the person youve
become. The one who has a tender heart, and warm arms to fall into. Ive never fallen,
would you be the one to catch me? Im putting my faith in you, and Im not scared. Im a
dork, but you accept it and encourage my quirky behavior. We talk about nights filled with
movies and arms around my waist. Im learning to trust you. Im scared youll leave, but
you promise to come back. Keep your promise? Im wishing for more time with you, can we
have that? // They say some secrets exist to be taken to the grave. I have your heart, so you
can be mine and Ill be yours. My arms arent made from gold, but you find value in dust. I
could never thank you enough for it. You have every right to worry, Im a handful of poems
and only true readers will get me. Read in between my lines, youll find a kiss and a hug.
Your curiosity is beautiful. Keep being curious, Ill answer every question with honesty. I
may be a different person, but loving someone will never change. That part of love will
always be sharp. I love until my heart breaks and thats deadly, but sweet if someone keeps
me. I wont always have a warm and tender heart, if I became ice.. Would you melt me?
Keep me as snow and freeze me for next Winter. Ill be your favorite snowstorm. Ill catch
you. Ill catch you. Fall into my arms, I know Im broken, but love me anyways? I have your
faith, Im not afraid. Youre my dork, I wouldnt have you in any other way, but as yourself.
Your true self. You. I have your trust and you have mine. One hundred percent of it. I
promise. Im not going anywhere. Where would I go without you? You can have all of the
time in the world. The time when the universe was created. When the wars happened.
When the dinosaurs died. When I was born. When we were only a speck of life inside
another. When the world falls apart. When we fell in love. You can have it all. As long as I
have you, time is, but a concept. As long as you love me, our story will have no ending. I do
love cliffhangers, lets be one. No spoilers, no end credits. Just you and I. The best kind of
story.

You know what? You said I was your miracle, but you were mine. You helped me fall in
love again. You gave me a smile. You gave me a home. You gave me love. You gave me
poems, you gave me happiness, you gave me daisies, you gave me a heart, you gave me you
and I love you for every bit of your difficult breathing, I love you for who you are, what you
are, when you are, where you are, why you are and how you are. Youre a brunette and the
brown in your hair has my poems everywhere, I thought you joked about wearing my
smile. You were not. You are happiness found when sunshine and moonshine kiss. Youre
the masterpiece that people would love to have, but afraid to hang because youd get stolen.
I trust youll stay, dont go too far, dont be too dark. Youre light. You always come in the
late of the night, eventually you became afternoons, and then mornings and then every
hour of everyday. You became time and whispered about me being your timeless lover with
small words that tickle laughter and flip frowns. You told me you loved my laugh. You told
me you loved my smile. You told me I looked like 4 a.m. conversations because the
darkness scared you, but you found me near stars and thats when you realized I was more
than night skies. Thats when you wanted me to be sitting near daydreams and not a
nightmare. You were found in my mind. You placed yourself above my old poems and said
you loved them, but decided to write your name on all of them. You placed yourself above
love and searched for my health, you never asked for anything, but open arms. Im here,
dont leave me. Theyve not faltered from the very spot that youve found me. Im still and
stiff like the hands on a broken clock, but thats where timeless people go, broken clocks
were second-less, free from minutes, stripped from the hours and the days slow down to
the classic story of hare vs tortoise. Im a mad case of I love you. The why and the how are
both the same. Because love just happens. Why I love you. How I love you. There is no
difference, youre beautiful. I wont sugarcoat these last two with metaphors, youll get your
simple, I love you.

A question you often ask,

Why do you love me?
Is a question I often cant answer.

The reason why I wont

Is not because I dont,
Its more because its something,
Which is hard to put into words.
If I had to start somewhere,
Id start with the colour of your eyes,
I love the way they gleam
when you kiss me goodnight.
If I had to continue on
Id talk about your smile,
Your messy curly hair,
And your James Dean style.
To add to all this,
I love the way you walk,
I love how youre always daydreaming,
I love the way you talk.
I love when you laugh,
The way you cover your eyes
With the palm of your hand,
As if youre camera shy.
If you put all these thing together,
Its clearly not enough.
There is so much more,
But its hard to explain love.
You cause my heart to ache,
My stomach to burn,
My lips yearning your taste,
And my mind begins to turn.
You cause this unknown feeling in me,
Which is so hard to describe!
It courses through me every time
You look into my eyes.
A question you often ask,
Why do you love me so?

Is a question I cant answer,

But you make me glow.

I dont know much about love

but the sky becomes an
aurora of pinks and blues when
I talk to you. maybe its
just a picture Ive painted,
but the clouds arent as grey
and the darkness clears
away, and I start to understand
what it must feel like not to
be heartless. I know that flowers
bloom in spring and that it feels
good to be healing
and now I even know what
heaven looks like, I think.
I dont know much about love
but one day you turned up
and since then I havent felt
quite as lonely.

I want this radical love with you. I want to love you so much it hurts my
chest, but somehow I still smile when I breathe out. I want you and me in
this little city drinking too dark of coffee in the late night hours, and
when the streets are silent. I want to watch old black and white films
with you sitting on my couch, me calling you baby. I want your red
lipstick smeared across my shoulder blades. I want your fingers in my
belt loops. I want you in your Sunday sweatpants. I want you in your

Monday dress. I want you totally, tragically, flawed, broken apart. God,
youre so beautiful you should be classified as a piece of fucking art.

I will wait for you on the edge of forever

At the place where our fires will burn out the darkness
and autumn trees lay out carpets of burnt embers
You kiss me like an atomic bomb
Midnight sparks dancing like fireflies
Hidden in plain view
Dilated pupils, hot mouths and cool skin
make me believe
This could be everything or nothing
Hold me on the precipice
Where heaven and hell collide
Lay in afterglow on the cool grass
And promise not to leave
For fear is knocking at my door
And I have been here once before
Inscribe our initials in my wooden heart
A love immortalised for two
For forever is over by removing a few letters
And I am in love with you
At the place where our fires will burn out the darkness || Sjk

Its true what they say;

people are at their most beautiful
when theyre at their most passionate.
I sit and I watch her take paint into art
while the passion pours out of her eyes.
I watch her and I want so badly
to put her existence into words,
like how the light shines behind her
everywhere she goes,
and how I can see her heart glowing while mine aches
like a beautiful, bittersweet love

contaminating my every muscle.

I watch her doing the thing she loves most
and I want so badly to put her smile into words.
I want so badly to write down this feeling
that is swarming through my chest
when I look at her like she is the only piece of art on this earth.
I want so badly to put into words
how I honestly, utterly, totally,
and completely
believe that she is.

I wish to spend hours with you,

Slowly watching the minutes pass
As the daylight slowly dwindles.
I yearn to be on rooftops with you,
The sun gingerly caressing your face,
The skyline simply a foggy silhouette in the distance.
I want to walk in a garden with you,
Red roses surrounding us and providing security.
I desire to witness the pale glow
Of the moon on your face as we leisurely
Walk along the coast.
It would be an honor to sit on the grass with you,
The light of day glistening against your eyes,
Your hair ruffled by the gentle breeze.
I would be happy if I could see your
White smile and your eyes squinted in laughter, in joy.
I want to be there for your hard nights,
Tears flowing down your face,
Forming rivers on your rosy cheeks.
And I want to see you at your best,
Your bright eyes and cheerful demeanor.
I want to go through life with you
You.
You.
You.

I say, its nice to meet you, and before I know it, were talking about the stars and
naming ours and youre my first and last thought of the day, just a text away, and I
love you I love you I love you.

You say, this is who I am, and I call it beautiful, because you are; but we all have
ugliness lurking inside of us. Yours tries to kill you from the outside in, tries to cut
at your skin. I think our ugliness looks a lot alike. I think I know you a lot better
than youre willing to admit. You try to keep your mouth shut.
We say, the universe looks a lot like a service station. What we mean is that
sometimes when were tired, we like to stop between the constellations and catch
our breath for a moment. What we mean is that sometimes the constant journeying
in this world can become unbearable. What we mean is that even people like us
red-eyed and sleep-deprived, making it through these battles with barely a scratch
need a break from this life sometimes.

Youre your own sun

your own solar system
you are immortal
blazing brightest in this galaxy
nothing can touch you
thats how you like it
youve lost and learned
and come out better
thats more than I can say for many
you love like a mother
when someone is just the right distance
away from your fire
to close and youll turn them to ash
to far and theyll freeze
youre surrounded by planets
that glow and shine
and glisten with life
all of them caught in your gravity
basking in your burning beauty
they are more alive than I will ever be
I should find a dimmer star to love
maybe then I wouldnt be as jealous
of all the light around you and within you
but I understand that simply in the act of writing this
I am caught in your gravity

I want to feel your lips on mine

Our nerves colliding like a tidal wave
That locks us in a spell
No thought in the action
As reckless as ever
And yet completely thought out
I want to feel your hair between my fingers
As my hands go through landing on your neck
Pulling you closer to me
Connecting our bodies
As your hands travel
And our lips motions do all the talking
Erasing everything around us
Almost in a blur of a moment
Until the spell breaks
And as quickly as this started it ends
No strings attached, no other motives
Until the next time.

Dear Valentine,
Its the 14th of February,
a day where we celebrate in love, wallow in love,
shout it to the world but I dont want to do any of that, I just want to write these words to you, for your
eyes only.
I never expected to fall in love. you opened a world of colors I never saw. You
changed me from black and white to color.
Words fail to describe what I feel anymore. I can only look into your eyes silently,
and maybe then you will get a glimpse of how my heart beats for you.
I wish I had the talent to paint the way I feel about you. My words seem to have
become stale, and art is the only way I know how to express my sentiments.
I see all the colors and hues and I see us - I see you.

We are Starry Night, a masterpiece people try to emulate but never can recreate our
brushstrokes.
I would use red for your passion and the beauty you hold,
pale blue for the kindness your eyes speak;
a light green to show the compassion you hide,
a bright yellow for your never ending smile that erases all my sadness in one look.
a soft purple for your intelligence, when your nose is scrunched and your eyes
squinted deep in thought and I wonder: can even an artists color wheel capture what you mean to me, what
we become when we are together?
Youve loved me unconditionally, for all the colors I have,
some beautiful, some abstract, some you repainted but I felt your love in your touch, in the tenderness of your lips. And, when I needed
it most, you loved me with words, handwritten from your coarse hands, reminding
me that:
you will love me until all of our pigments fade.

It was you who turned my heart of stone into gold. It was you who put the light back into
my eyes and made them shine like crystals. It was you who filled the emptiness that was
once inside of my soul. It was you who gave me hope. Youre the reason why I feel this way.
Even when my mind is foggy because of the obstacles that I face each day, I think of you
and lightens my heavy heart. You are my soulmate. You were the one that I
would subconsciously think of every time I heard a love song. It was you, It has always
been you.

Since you moved in:

Ive learned that you nuzzle into me just before you wake up.
Ive learned that my favorite place to kiss you when you are sad is your temple.
Ive learned that your shoulders keep all of your worries, well past the point that your mind
gives up on them.
Ive learned that some trees in the middle of the city is not nature.
Ive learned the freckles on your chest make a spiral, not a circle.
Ive learned your scars are soft, but the memories are hard.
Ive learned that you dont like cucumber or bananas quite as much as you say you do.
Ive learned that you have a hard time keeping your feelings about injustice or ignorance off
your tongue.
Ive learned that we cant be happy unless we have pizza for dinner at least twice a month.
Ive learned that your body is most at ease when it is pressed against mine.
Ive learned that your eyes are even more fascinating than a camera could convey.
Ive learned that your favourite spot is laying on my chest, your head under my chin and our
arms around each other.
Ive learned I wont actually squish your heart til it explodes if I lay dead-weight on top of you (in
fact, you kind of love it).
Ive learned that the dog listens to you more than me.
Ive learned that showering together takes less time about 85% of the time.
Ive learned that I am capable of loving you more than I thought possible.
Ive learned that we can bicker or argue and it doesnt diminish our love for each other.
Ive learned that the sound of you singing while you get ready is my happy place.
Ive learned that the small of your back is the most ticklish, but your side gets the biggest
reaction.
Ive learned that our kids are going to be the luckiest in the world.
Ive learned that if Ive had a bad day, the only thing that will make it better is you.
Ive learned that your hair has a mind of its own. Ive learned that you crinkle your nose so hard
when you laugh naturally.
Ive learned that its not a matter of if we will get married, simply when.
Ive learned that I have chosen the absolute best partner for me; for the rest of our lives.

Have you seen her?

Of course you have,
how can ones eye
not
be drawn to such

incandescent
beauty?
But have you seen
the glow of her
soul,
have you experienced
the power of her
heart?
Oh, thats right,
excuse me,
I forgot
you
dont believe in things like that.
All you see is a fine piece of ass.
Youre selling this girl short,
theres so much
more
to her.
Ill explain
in a way you might
understand what Im getting at.
Do you know how scientists
expose hidden planets?
They calculate and go after
their gravitational pull,
proving they exist,
even if
theyre not able to see them.
You can apply this knowledge.
Acknowledging her heart
and soul
doesnt have to be
a matter of simply believing.

Now the next time you see her,

look at the people around her.
See how they look bigger,
happier,
more at peace.
She naturally emits invisible rays
of her loving nature,
a powerful
positive energy,
it causes the people around her
to grow in her presence.
They become the best version
of themselves, and to me
that
is the embodiment of good.
To me, that is the essence of 'she.
Remember this, the next time you
look at her, so the next time
we speak,
you wont sell her short
when I ask you,
Have you seen her?

There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to hold her hand. I wanted to
connect with her; I wanted to enjoy her presence with more than just my eyes. I was afraid
to, though, because I didnt want to disrupt the natural beauty that was right next to me.
So I didnt.

I just watched her be.

It was like her tenderness engulfed her, everything about her was warm and that warmth
was palpable. Right then, I felt like I was in a museum for the first time. She was art, a
masterpiece I couldnt believe the world could contain; a masterpiece that made me think
too much and feel too much to speak. So instead, I just thanked God in my head for the
sight.
Come to think of it, He had a way of doing that, creating things that were so awesome you
couldnt help but stare. These things were magnificent, but they lasted
temporarily. Rainbows, sunrises, star-filled night skies. But her? I didnt want her to be
temporary, so I closed my eyes and prayed that He would let me enjoy her forever. This
was a sight I wanted to see as long as I lived.

I could make you a card with flowery words that reveal whats inside my heart,
Declaring my complete devotion for you and how I never wish for us to part,
Because of the way you always make me feel way down deep inside,
By surrounding me with a love full of emotion that mirrors an ocean tide.
I could sing you a song that reveals how I feel no matter how many days go by,
The kind of gift that sinks deep into your soul where it decides to forever reside,
Making you feel like the day you first felt when my love swept you off your feet,
Causing your heart to race when you realized that my heart was yours to keep.
I could whisper those three magic words again that change our mood in the blink of an eye,
Realizing just how powerful heartfelt words can be by the way they make your spirit fly,
As you realize once again just how much I truly adore you in so many different ways,
Showing us how we dont need a special day because of what our hearts continue to say.
I could do all of these things but I dont really need to because our hearts speak the same
language of love,
By the serendipitous kind of way we cast the same spell on each other like it was written in the
stars above,
By knocking down all of our walls as we proceeded to share our whole heart with the other,
Realizing just how powerful true love can be when you no longer want or see another.

Warm eyes, soft hands, rosy cheeks. Thats what you are. Youre the high note at the end of
a song, the line in a poem that knocks the breath out of my chest, the smell of freshly made

coffee and the first drop of rain on my cold skin. Youre screaming at the top of your lungs
to your favourite song, youre dancing in the moonlight with your shoes not on your feet
but dangling from your hand because you could no longer walk in them, youre the laugh
that echoes in my empty heart, in my skull and in my head. Youre not what others whisper
about you behind their hands. They will never know you. Youre not what you look like,
youre not the scars from the battles you have fought and youre not the pieces of your
broken heart. Youre glowing, yes, youre just waiting to show them all, to show them what
you can do, and my God, youre beautiful.

When you asked about how the world was made, I knew the answer. The days before I met
you were slim and blurry, lines of wet paper. When I tried to keep your smile in my arms, I
knew. Thats when my world was made. I had everything, but I also had nothing. You were
everything and I was nothing. A small price to pay because my version of love was unfair.
One always loved the other more. One will love the other differently. We had many phases
of our creation. I was young, I was easily swept, I still am, but Ive grown. A tree seeing its
leaves grow back for the first time, the dew on my soaked branches, your tears. You helped
with my growth. You were the universe within this universe. The lyrics within songs we
couldnt translate with the human tongue. The language of flowers died inside of you
because you had fire in the pit of your soul. When you asked about how love was born, I
knew the answer. It was in the writing you shared. I fell in love with your words before I
truly found out about your smile. The way your hated words became poetry I loved. When
you talked about waves and beaches. How youre always waiting on a stream of inspiration
that will never arrive. Your inner writer died when we became one. Your inner writer lives
within me. The poetry that youll never write, I am writing it now. I know you envied my
strength to stay up late and call you every night, I did it for you. For the nights you stayed
up for everyone, those five years I kept myself awake to be there. I never missed a call at
night. That was my favorite definition of love. Staying awake to keep you safe. That was
how love found a way to be born. When you asked how love ebbs and flows like the ocean.
Cant you see? You are the ocean. Youre drenched inside of your own entrapment and
upbringing. The way your mother has a warped sense of family. The way dictatorship is a
struggle you deal with everyday. Youre sensitive and so am I. I learned about the ocean
from your tears. Salty and sorrows, never finding a way to calm your sea was my lost
poetry. The way I knew how to cry the first time we held one another. Theres some love
youll always remember and can never forget. Some people will take us a lifetime to get
over, my sister once said. I complained about your lack of depth because I could not see. I
already died in your cries for help. I knew of no boundaries or remorse. A child learning
how to yell with his fragile voice for the first next time. The ocean moves within you and
were the boats searching for the lighthouse. When you asked about love and how it could
set people on fire, I knew the answer. The way your hands held a torch. The way you
touched life. The way you held lovers. The way you sparked my soul. The way you peppered
my eyes. It was meant to set not just I, but the world on fire. You held the tiniest of flames
in your eyes, but still decided to burn me. There is love for old flames and then theres
something we cant explain. Like how long itll take to heal. How love can break, but also
build. How hearts survive a nuclear disaster. How forest fires can create life how poetry

can save my life. How your loving memories destroyed the poet, but kept him sane. The
fires dont stop burning, they dont dim, were all sizzling and baking underneath your lips.
Love is unexplainable, but we should still try. Because when I fell in love with you a part of
me died. Because when I fell in love with you a part of me woke up from a coma. Because
when I fell in love with you the universe created our eyes and the stars became this poetry.
Im sorry if I couldnt be more. Youll have galaxies and stardusts waiting for me within
you. Im sorry, but love is unexplainable.

When I think of you,

I cant breathe,
My chest begs for air,
And caves in on itself,
My lips part and gasp,
My ribs burn like the sun,
My heart cracks and screams,
My brain begs for mercy.
Then,
I feel my sternum rise,
My heart pumps one more time,
I suck air into my throat,
The burning subsides.
For one more moment,
One more breath,
I have you.
I breathe out.

Im sorry.
Im sorry youre sad.
Im sorry you never wanna talk about it.
Im sorry that I never know what to say.
Im really, really sorry.
But here is what Im not sorry for:
Im not sorry for the times we have spent together.
Im not sorry that I love you.
Im not sorry that I wish you felt more comfortable talking about it with me.
If you dont think I care, you are wrong.
If you dont want to bother me with it, just know that it is no trouble at all.
I want to be here for you.
I want you to be happy.
I want to see that smile across your face again.

I want to show you the beauty of the shore

After the storm.
And that there is laughter
Even after the rain has fallen.
And maybe I dont know exactly what to do
But let me show that I will always be here for you.
I am not going anywhere.
You were always the stronger of the two of us.
But for you, I will do the best I can.
I will stand taller, fight harder.
You deserve that and so much more,
And I am sorry that you cant see that right now.
But, please, let me help you find it again.
I promise you wont be sorry.

I want to do all the silly, clich romantic things with you. I want to dance with you with no
music playing, only the rhythmic beat of our hearts. I want to kiss you till my mouth feels
numb, and kiss you in the rain. I want to sleep in your arms and make love at two in the
morning. I want to run around a field with you chasing after me, and not a care in the
world. I want to sing in the car with you, loudly and off-key. I want to laugh with you until I
cant breathe. I want to make out on the couch as The Notebook is being played on the tv
screen. I want to fight, and scream, and have nothing but passion and love running
through my veins. I want you to hold me like youll never let me go. I want the happy
endings with you and only you, because without you, a happy ending wouldnt exist at all.

I love just being in your presence, I love the simplicity of being with you whether our time
is spent in total silence or full of laughter. I love being able to catch a glimpse of your
breathtaking smile. I love being able to turn to you in the middle of the night and snuggle
up to you, I love falling asleep by your side and waking up to your sleepy eyes in early
hours of the morning. I love doing life with you by my side every step of the way.

Oh, my sweet
starry-eyed sorceress,
embrace me and
cover me
with your velvet mantle
of midnight blue again;
enchant me
with a kiss of white magic.

Let me taste
the soft skin of your neck,
then squeeze me
so tight
that I might
disappear in you forever;
spend my life
drowning in your passion.
Lets dance
on the dark side
of the moon,
I want to forget the world
and escape from its view,
all that I want is
to become one with you.
Oh, mystical temptress;
my sweet sorceress,
Ive always wondered why
I loved the night,
and now
Ive finally come to realize
it is only because
shes embodied by you.
Ill sing you a lullaby,
so you might sleep
and see the dreams
I will give my everything for
to come true.

You loved the way she dressed up for you

in all black and fresh and polished and

You loved the way she dressed down for you

all lace and stockings and skin
But most of all
you loved the way
she was an escape from reality
A quick break from the chaos
that clouded your mind
and the way she inspired you
Your own personal muse
at your disposal
poised ever so graciously
like the angelic beauty she was
But when you reached out to her
fingers just inches from the touch
she slips away from your grip
back into the fantasy in which you kept her
for you had lost your chance
It was like coming down from a high
and being forced back into the reality you had longed so hard to avoid.

The first time I know what love meant

I didnt even know how to write an L, an O, a V, or an E.
Love was when I sat at the window watching my mother drive away for work,
Worried she was through with me.
Love was knowing these fears were pointless every time she came home.
When I would stay up too late waiting for her
And Id half open my eyes to my dark living room.
The TV was my full moon giving off blue light.
My mother would find me when coming home,
Her and my father then carried me to bed.
That was love.
Having my mother read the same illustrated story at least once a week,
Because I just knew the family in the book was our household.
My mother smiled,
At that time age had no affect on her,
And she would tell me this book was written just for me.
The lie was out of love.

As I grew older I wondered how many other little, brunette girls knew this to be
true.
My definition of love matured at the age of five.
Public school affected my life in many forms,
But the greatest of these changes was you.
Each time I talked about you people could tell you were something special.
Constructing fairy houses and acting out Disney shows and movies
Were the most important parts of my life.
The content itself meant next to nothing,
If not crossing over into nothings yard illegally.
What truly mattered was doing it all with you.
When our other friends were with my and you were home
I still enjoyed myself,
But I knew it did not matter as much.
My heart knew,
Because I taught it to yearn for your love.
The years we did not share a classroom
Where the worst years at that school.
No ones tolerance of me matched your sincere wonder.
There was not one person there who could make a more beautiful fairy house.
Then again, I may be biased.
Over the pass ten years youve worked a spell on me.
If there is an antidote I do not possess any desire for it.
I would not be surprised if you were the first person outside of my family I knew I
loved.
I do not know when my love for you began to change,
Nor do I know what moment yours also started evolving into something
Different
Stronger
Heavier
Deeper.
At what time did we stop saying I love you, sister,
And start just saying I love you?
How long before verbally dropping the sisterly affection
Did we know?
When did I love you stop meaning Youre my pal?
Was it when it began translating to I need you in my brain?
That was when I read your I love yous as Im not going anywhere.
All at once my love for you hit me in the face everyday.

I feared saying those three little words without knowing you understood their
depth.
The reason I always said I love you
Was not for the pleasure of hearing them back,
But for you to know it to be true.
Instead of telling you good-bye
I only say I love you,
For my love isnt going anywhere.
You own it,
And only you can release it.
Last summer we said these words,
The both of us knowing what the other meant.
Now I love you isnt just something said,
But is an action.
A touch.
Weve professed our love in one look.
Lips no longer just speak love.
There are many ways my hands can sign for you.
No matter how you deliver the message
My soul turns into champagne
And the bubbles float into an ocean of stars.
You can give me an out of body experience
With just a stolen text in class.
Ever day I am with you, you lift me up,
My feet dangling in the air and it is as if I am wearing wings.
I pray for them to never let me fall back on the ground,
For fear that it will do damage.
When I am drunk on your affection
This crummy, cramped, creation filled with crap
Is a little brighter.
You make my heart and brain fuse into one
Focused and stuck on you
Like a broken lighthouse only able to shine in one direction.
All of this because of three little words.
If ten years can turn me into this mess,
Can you fathom what ten more years would do to me?
If there are fifteen more after today
I dont know if my heart will be able to take it.

If you cause it to overwork and give out

I hope you have money for my heart implant.

I want people to write poetry about me, she says. You look at her. She is looking at the
stars and her face is shining, like she has somehow captured the majesty of the night sky
behind her eyes. I want to be that kind of person. I want to be so decidedly alive that
people around me take notice. I want people to care, she says, and you are walking
through the hallways at school and she is outshining everyone around her. I want people
to care enough about me to write poetry. I want people to write poetry about my hair and
my eyes and the curves of my arms. I want people to spend time thinking about me, she
says, and you are driving through the country and letting the windows stay open, and her
hair is wind and sunshine and her laughter is whiskey. I want them to sit and miss me and
think about finding me again. I want them to show me their poems because they think it
captures me. I want their poetry to capture me. I know I am being vain, but this is what I
want, she says on your bedroom floor, staring up at the ceiling, her hands placed carefully
on her stomach, like porcelain. I want to be somebodys muse. I want to be what they
wake up thinking about and go to sleep hoping to dream of. I want to float through their
poetry even when theyre not aware of it. I want to keep coming back to them even when
theyre not expecting it, she says, and she is sitting cross-legged in front of you, the sun
warming her skin and settling in streaks in her hair. I want to always be on somebodys
mind. I want to be their forefront thought. Thats what I want. I want people to write
poetry about me, she says again, gazing at the sky, and you do not have to look up because
she already has galaxies behind her eyes.
Im not a very good poet, you say.

With you, there was never an average. Never an average joke you told, an average grade
you received, an average smile. You were never only black or only white, you were all of the
colours, all the time, shining and radiant. It was never night or day with you - time ceased
to exist when we were together, when you put your hand on the small of my back I forgot
what night and day looked like. You loved with all your heart. There was no in between.
You gave your all, always. So when you hated, you did it with every cell of your body. When
you were done with something or someone, you were done for good and there was no going
back. I loved your extremes, like a drug, they were what I needed to get through the day.
But they were also why we broke apart. I couldnt keep up with your highs and lows. I
wasnt able to pull you down when your head was up in the clouds and I couldnt pick you
up when you lied on the ground with injuries I could not heal. And Im truly sorry I
couldnt be what you needed me to be.