"I'm out of options for now.

It is something that has gone wrong "in the apt-get

region" (can't find a good expression for that)"
Husse Jun 17 2007
Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.
-- William Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Shrew"
Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet,
Are of imagination all compact...
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and
struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny
and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the
crunch he was all courage. Those novels would make you retch.
-- Canadian novelist Robertson Davies, on the generic Canadian
novel.
Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.
When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.
-- Roger Zelazny, "Doorways in the Sand"
Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't
understand his own meaning.
-- George D. Prentice
Hope that the day after you die is a nice day.
You are magnetic in your bearing.
No violence, gentlemen -- no violence, I beg of you! Consider the furniture!
-- Sherlock Holmes
You are always busy.
Do nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate.
You should emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially
if they are dead.
Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.
Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "The Tempest"
Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed
down-stairs a step at a time.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
Everything that you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.
Q:
How much does it cost to ride the Unibus?
A:
2 bits.
"Sorry, I underestimated your need for help"
Husse Jun 30 2007
Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.
You will have long and healthy life.
Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why.
-- Hunter S. Thompson
"You have the E1405 that is such a problem child"
Husse Jul 6 2007
"I'm trying to understand the mysteries of wireless myself at the moment."
Husse Apr 7 2007
Q:
What does it say on the bottom of Coke cans in North Dakota?
A:
Open other end.
Q:
What do little WASPs want to be when they grow up?
A:
The very best person they can possibly be.
You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.
You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.

A pity that it's totally undeserved.

Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
Fine day for friends.
So-so day for you.
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of
24 hours.
-- Mark Twain, on New England weather
You're currently going through a difficult transition period called "Life."
The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"
"but yes I was wrong
My memory did not serve me right"
Husse Oct 15 2007
You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.
Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why.
-- Hunter S. Thompson
Stop! There was first a game of blindman's buff. Of course there was.
And I no more believe Topper was really blind than I believe he had eyes
in his boots. My opinion is, that it was a done thing between him and
Scrooge's nephew; and that the Ghost of Christmas Present knew it. The
way he went after that plump sister in the lace tucker, was an outrage
on the credulity of human nature.
Q:
What is orange and goes "click, click?"
A:
A ball point carrot.
Tell the truth or trump--but get the trick.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Truth is the most valuable thing we have -- so let us economize it.
-- Mark Twain
"Wifi is a pain in the.... until you get it fixed"
Husse Oct 8 2007
Q:
How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:
One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem
to the earlier joke.
Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
Your sister swims out to meet troop ships.
You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
"(I could explain it in more a more geekish language but...)"
Husse May 18 2007
So you're back... about time...
Q:
Minnesotans ask, "Why aren't there more pharmacists from Alabama?"
A:
Easy. It's because they can't figure out how to get the little
bottles into the typewriter.
Fortune: You will be attacked next Wednesday at 3:15 p.m. by six samurai
sword wielding purple fish glued to Harley-Davidson motorcycles.
Oh, and have a nice day!
-- Bryce Nesbitt '84
You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead.
Future looks spotty. You will spill soup in late evening.
Q:
Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man
soup in a plate?
A:
'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
You have an unusual equipment for success. Be sure to use it properly.
You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.
"This shows the importance of not just doing something, but to do it after you t
hink about it and take note of what you do - how often do we not follow that adv
ice"

Husse Sept 28 2007

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big
enough majority in any town?
-- Mark Twain, "Huckleberry Finn"
All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed.
-- Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice"
Your aim is high and to the right.
Your business will assume vast proportions.
"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."
-- Shakespeare
A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
-- Mark Twain
"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
You are destined to become the commandant of the fighting men of the
department of transportation.
Q:
What is the sound of one cat napping?
A:
Mu.
Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug
than an old bird of paradise.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
-- Mark Twain
AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE!
FEAR! FIRE! FOES!
AWAKE! AWAKE!
-- J. R. R. Tolkien
There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty.
"When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."
-- Mark Twain
"Sorry, I underestimated your need for help"
Husse Jun 30 2007
You will be held hostage by a radical group.
Q:
How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Fifteen. One to do it, and fourteen to write document number
GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility,
of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally
left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A:.....
consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks".
Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
"Apology just about accepted, but please don't use such language. If you can't g
et something to work which works for everybody else, it's most likely that the e
rror is with you - right?"
Husse Jul 30 2007
Tuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life.
Never commit yourself! Let someone else commit you.
You enjoy the company of other people.
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time
to reform.
-- Mark Twain
"I must admit I don't "see" that splash - I don't really care and my mind is els
ewhere when I log in"
Husse Sept 3 2007
A classic is something that everyone wants to have read

and nobody wants to read.

-- Mark Twain, "The Disappearance of Literature"
There are more things in heaven and earth,
Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "Hamlet"
Your business will assume vast proportions.
ROMEO:
Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much.
MERCUTIO:
No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide
as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve.
Q:
What's the contour integral around Western Europe?
A:
Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!
Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they
are removable!
Q:
A:

An English mathematician (I forgot who) was asked by his

very religious colleague: Do you believe in one God?
Yes, up to isomorphism!

Q:
A:

What is a compact city?

It's a city that can be guarded by finitely many near-sighted
policemen!
-- Peter Lax
Q:
What's hard going in and soft and sticky coming out?
A:
Chewing gum.
The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly.
I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go.
A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea.
Turning the curve he waved his hand. A sleek brown head, a seal's, far
out on the water, round. Usurper.
-- James Joyce, "Ulysses"
"It is a beta, but is fairly stable. As with any beta things can go wrong."
Husse Jul 25 2007
Q:
What do they call the alphabet in Arkansas?
A:
The impossible dream.
Don't you wish you had more energy... or less ambition?
"I've got a WRT54G v.2 and I had to "strangle" it to 11 mbps and change channel
to get a connection that didn't break up all the time - I think it still does no
w and then, but my wife doesn't tell me"
Husse Jul 7 2007
"No
but I will try to contemplate a solution, and try to catch one of my sons who is
a real hardware guru....but not easy to get in touch with"
Husse Sept 12 2007
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not
original and the part that is original is not good.
-- Samuel Johnson
Do nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate.
You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.
A pity that it's totally undeserved.
"Please give a moments thought to what you do!"
Husse Aug 3 2007
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would
be a merrier world.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien
Things past redress and now with me past care.

-- William Shakespeare, "Richard II"

You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
"This is sad - the old DOS days is not what we want it to be like.
However some hardware does not want to cooperate...."
Husse Jul 29 2007
"Besides hdparm is a dangerous toy.."
Husse Apr 6 2007
"Please start a new topic for a new topic"
Husse Nov 23 2007
Q:
Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
A:
The cats keep trying to bury them.
Q:
How was Thomas J. Watson buried?
A:
9 edge down.
Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient. Don't believe a
thing he tells you.
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
Someone is speaking well of you.
"Sorry, I underestimated your need for help"
Husse Jun 30 2007
You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
You will be run over by a bus.
Q:
How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A:
With a blue-elephant gun.
Q:
A:
Q:
A:
You
Q:
A:

How do you shoot a pink elephant?

Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with
a blue-elephant gun.
Why does Washington have the most lawyers per capita and
New Jersey the most toxic waste dumps?
God gave New Jersey first choice.
will have domestic happiness and faithful friends.
Why do ducks have big flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.

Q:
Why do elephants have big flat feet?
A:
To stamp out flaming ducks.
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be
sorry.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
-- William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer-Night's Dream"
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.
A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.
-- Philip Larkin on Anthony Burgess
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
-- Mark Twain
You may my glories and my state dispose,
But not my griefs; still am I king of those.
-- William Shakespeare, "Richard II"
Q:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
A:
He was giving it last rites.
You will pioneer the first Martian colony.
Your present plans will be successful.

"And vesa is at best "not terrible"

Husse Apr 5 2007
There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty.
"When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."
-- Mark Twain
You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading
this sort of trash.
Q:
What happens when four WASPs find themselves in the same room?
A:
A dinner party.
"I was going to answer you, but my lovely wife served some coffee so I went away
for a while and I see that Nick has given about the answer I would have given."
Husse Aug 5 2007
You are a bundle of energy, always on the go.
"Language problems does not make things easier. Please read the answers you get
and please write as clearly as you can - I can't guess what you mean - no one ca
n."
Husse Jul 11 2007
Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
"There's definitely something wrong here."
Husse Jul 11 2007
You will be the victim of a bizarre joke.
Q:
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith
agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed
from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed
upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of
the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating
at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of
the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the
second part and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the
parties.
The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be
limited to, the following. The party of the first part shall, with or without
elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other
means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party
of the second part in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being tendered
non-negotiable. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part
becomes fully detached from the receptacle, the party of the first part shall
have the option of disposing of the party of the second part in a manner
consistent with all relevant and applicable local, state and federal statutes.
Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part
shall have the option of beginning installation. Aforesaid installation shall
occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in
step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation
should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.
The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the
first part, by any or all agents authorized by him, the objective being to
produce the most possible revenue for the Partnership.
Your lucky color has faded.
Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues
of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself
a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst
be so superfluous to demand the time of the day. I wasted time and now doth
time waste me.
-- William Shakespeare

What I tell you three times is true.

-- Lewis Carroll
"I've yet to master a way to search all files for a string with a reasonable out
put (reasonable output is the crux - grep gives a confusing output to say the le
ast)"
Husse Apr 15 2007
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
Q:
What is purple and conquered the world?
A:
Alexander the Grape.
"Fedora is a bit "grumpy" when it comes to grub and such....."
Husse Oct 10 2007
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a
creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave; it is merely
a loose misapplication of the word. Consider the flea!--incomparably the
bravest of all the creatures of God, if ignorance of fear were courage.
Whether you are asleep or awake he will attack you, caring nothing for the fact
that in bulk and strength you are to him as are the massed armies of the earth
to a sucking child; he lives both day and night and all days and nights in the
very lap of peril and the immediate presence of death, and yet is no more
afraid than is the man who walks the streets of a city that was threatened by
an earthquake ten centuries before. When we speak of Clive, Nelson, and Putnam
as men who "didn't know what fear was," we ought always to add the flea--and
put him at the head of the procession.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
"this answer gets this out of the unanswered gang"
Husse Oct 21 2007
Q:
What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A:
A canary with the super-user password.
"The problem is to find it - for once I was completely lost in all sorts of answ
ers in Google but not the right one."
Husse Jul 25 2007
No violence, gentlemen -- no violence, I beg of you! Consider the furniture!
-- Sherlock Holmes
You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.
You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.
"There is a tutorial about it , but oddly I don't find it now"
Husse Oct 21 2007
Perilous to all of us are the devices of an art deeper than we ourselves
possess.
-- Gandalf the Grey [J.R.R. Tolkien, "Lord of the Rings"]
The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest is held ever year at San Jose State
Univ. by Professor Scott Rice. It is held in memory of Edward George
Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873), a rather prolific and popular (in his
time) novelist. He is best known today for having written "The Last
Days of Pompeii."
Whenever Snoopy starts typing his novel from the top of his doghouse,
beginning "It was a dark and stormy night..." he is borrowing from Lord
Bulwer-Lytton. This was the line that opened his novel, "Paul Clifford,"
written in 1830. The full line reveals why it is so bad:
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents -- except
at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of
wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene

lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty
flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
"Don't do the upgrade to 7.0.4 it'll give you problems if you're not really skil
led. Even I would refrain"
Husse May 1 2007
Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
Everything that you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.
A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
"It is a beta, but is fairly stable. As with any beta things can go wrong."
Husse Jul 25 2007
You are sick, twisted and perverted. I like that in a person.
Q:
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A:
To get to the other slide.
You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.
"But I use my left hand to handle the mouse, even though I'm "normally" right ha
nded, so my hands kollide"
Husse Mar 25 2007
"Clueless
I'll have to read this again"
Husse Oct 22 2007
"You have made your way to UUID hell"
Husse Oct 20 2007
"OK I was thinking we = Mint
how ego of me"
Husse Aug 19 2007
You will live to see your grandchildren.
Your step will soil many countries.
You'll feel devilish tonight. Toss dynamite caps under a flamenco dancer's
heel.
People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house.
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
-- Mark Twain
"BTW uuid is a horrible thing - they can change suddenly and unexpectedly"
Husse Apr 30 2007
Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.
"Unfortunately some apps don't end up in the menu."
Husse Apr 13 2007
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #5
A:
The Halls of Montezuma and the Shores of Tripoli.
Q:
Name two families whose kids won't join the Marines.
He was part of my dream, of course -- but then I was part of his dream too.
-- Lewis Carroll
Tomorrow, you can be anywhere.
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed
down-stairs a step at a time.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
Big book, big bore.
-- Callimachus
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
Let me take you a button-hole lower.

-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"

"No
but I will try to contemplate a solution, and try to catch one of my sons who is
a real hardware guru....but not easy to get in touch with"
Husse Sept 12 2007
It is so very hard to be an
on-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you
grown-up.
The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference
between a mermaid and a seal.
-- Mark Twain
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted;
persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting
to find a plot in it will be shot. By Order of the Author
-- Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn"
Having nothing, nothing can he lose.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"
I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.
-- T.S. Eliot
An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.
That secret you've been guarding, isn't.
Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
You will forget that you ever knew me.
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "Henry VI", Part IV
You will be divorced within a year.
Be careful! UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!
"In case of failure - these gadgets are cheap..."
Jul 7 2007
"If we solve the fuse problem and you can use the CD player we are sort of done,
but the disorderly behavior of your disks are worrying"
Husse
Q:
A:
Green
Today
Q:
A:
"Have
Maybe

Aug 5 2007
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was giving it last rites.
light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.
is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
What is purple and conquered the world?
Alexander the Grape.
you managed to complete the install?
my old eyes but I can't figure it out from your post."

Husse Mar 24 2007

Q:
How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:
Five. One to screw in the light bulb and four to share the
experience. (Actually, Californians don't screw in
light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.)
Q:
A:

How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all
those Californians trying to share the experience.
You're at the end of the road again.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.
Everything will be just tickety-boo today.
It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best

judge of one.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket Bibles which are on very
very thin paper.
"The vesa driver always (almost) works, but does not give nice video - rather ho
rrible"
Husse Jul 29 2007
"Do I understand you right that you say that you have to reboot to fix the probl
ems from a reboot"
Husse Sept 7 2007
Conscience doth make cowards of us all.
-- Shakespeare
You could live a better life, if you had a better mind and a better body.
"Sorry - I can't know what you know"
Husse Sept 7 2007
It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion
that makes horse-races.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is
in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot
stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that
is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more.
-- Mark Twain
Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must
have somebody to divide it with.
-- Mark Twain
Q:
How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:
Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to fend off all those
Californians trying to share the experience.
Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone.
You have many friends and very few living enemies.
You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
Q:
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has
to really want to change.
A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
-- by Charles Dickens
A man in love with a girl who loves another man who looks just
like him has his head chopped off in France because of a mean
lady who knits.
Crime and Punishment LITE(tm)
-- by Fyodor Dostoevski
A man sends a nasty letter to a pawnbroker, but later
feels guilty and apologizes.
The Odyssey LITE(tm)
-- by Homer
After working late, a valiant warrior gets lost on his way home.
The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first
female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick,
rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what

would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my

career.
-- Winning sentence, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex.
No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of
absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream.
Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness
within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more.
Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and
doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone
of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.
-- Shirley Jackson, "The Haunting of Hill House"
You are the only person to ever get this message.
Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain
"And no - computers is no exact science"
Husse Nov 14 2007
Q:
Know what the difference between your latest project
and putting wings on an elephant is?
A:
Who knows? The elephant *might* fly, heh, heh...
You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
-- Mark Twain
What happened last night can happen again.
"Unfortunately suspend does mean things sometimes"
Husse Apr 25 2007
You may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will
be sold.
Q:
Why do WASPs play golf ?
A:
So they can dress like pimps.
"Moderation is only to be done by someone who is trusted to do it :)"
Husse Sept 13 2009
The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt.
-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
-- Mark Twain
Is this really happening?
You will not be elected to public office this year.
You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading
this sort of trash.
This was the most unkindest cut of all.
-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"
"Do I understand you right that you say that you have to reboot to fix the probl
ems from a reboot"
Husse Sept 7 2007
You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.
Q:
What do you call the money you pay to the government when
you ride into the country on the back of an elephant?
A:
A howdah duty.
Try to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances.
You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty
attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool
takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge
which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with
a lot of other things, so that he has difficulty in laying his hands upon it.
Now the skilful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his

brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing
his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect
order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and
can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every
addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of
the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out
the useful ones.
-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Study in Scarlet"
"Well - I don't think anyone would succeed to publish a web sight"
Husse Dec 2 2007
"Are we to discuss philosophy?
I think we could easily get into an endless debate"
Husse Sept 28 2007
Steady movement is more important than speed, much of the time. So long
as there is a regular progression of stimuli to get your mental hooks
into, there is room for lateral movement. Once this begins, its rate is
a matter of discretion.
-- Corwin, Prince of Amber
Your boyfriend takes chocolate from strangers.
He was part of my dream, of course -- but then I was part of his dream too.
-- Lewis Carroll
This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.
"Yes you do something wrong - and yet not"
Husse Apr 9 2007
All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed.
-- Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice"
"It will work (perhaps) but it will swap like hell and be slower than a tired sn
ail"
Husse Oct 16 2007
When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone
to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house.
Must I hold a candle to my shames?
-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
Bridge ahead. Pay troll.
"Have you managed to complete the install?
Maybe my old eyes but I can't figure it out from your post."
Husse Mar 24 2007
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Slow day. Practice crawling.
Q:
How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A:
Take away his credit cards.
You will engage in a profitable business activity.
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #21
A:
Dr. Livingston I. Presume.
Q:
What's Dr. Presume's full name?
Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you.
Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks.
Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.
"It seems to be not only in Vista creative is "a bit" problematic"
Husse Jul 10 2007
And do you think (fop that I am) that I could be the Scarlet Pumpernickel?

Your temporary financial embarrassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.

If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow!
You will forget that you ever knew me.
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.
-- Shakespeare, "Coriolanus"
"Hmm I have seen someone else with the same problem, which is one of these "shou
ld not happen" things"
Husse Nov 23 2007
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
-- Mark Twain
For the fashion of Minas Tirith was such that it was built on seven levels,
each delved into a hill, and about each was set a wall, and in each wall
was a gate.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien, "The Return of the King"
[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
referring to system overview.]
Your goose is cooked.
(Your current chick is burned up too!)
Q:
What do you call the money you pay to the government when
you ride into the country on the back of an elephant?
A:
A howdah duty.
Your love life will be... interesting.
"Well - I don't think anyone would succeed to publish a web sight"
Husse Dec 2 2007
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.
-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"
"I'm sorry but I simply don't understand what you mean"
Husse Apr 4 2007
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
"I'm having similar problems and is looking for a solution. I'll be posting some
thing shortly, most likely a cry for help (for both of us) rather than a solutio
n"
Husse Apr 1 2007
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
-- Mark Twain
Q:
How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Fifteen. One to do it, and fourteen to write document number
GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility,
of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally
left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A:.....
consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks".
There is a great discovery still to be made in Literature: that of
paying literary men by the quantity they do NOT write.
There was a phone call for you.
Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder.
And do you think (fop that I am) that I could be the Scarlet Pumpernickel?
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would
be a merrier world.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien
You will become rich and famous unless you don't.
"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better
for you and me."

-- J. R. R. Tolkien
Q:
Why did Menachem Begin invade Lebanon?
A:
To impress Jodie Foster.
Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.
Harp not on that string.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"
But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.
-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"
Q:
How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
Q:
Why haven't you graduated yet?
A:
Well, Dad, I could have finished years ago, but I wanted
my dissertation to rhyme.
"But I think a possible explanation could be that the sound card is still sleepi
ng..."
Husse Sept 12 2007
"One of the few drawbacks with FF I know of is that it is a bit hungry for memor
y, and when it's eaten enough it gets indigestion....."
Husse Oct 13
Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come around while you have your
life in such a mess.
Tomorrow, this will be part of the unchangeable past but fortunately,
it can still be changed today.
Don't Worry, Be Happy.
-- Meher Baba
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
-- Mark Twain
"You have the E1405 that is such a problem child"
Husse Jul 6 2007
Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "The Tempest"
The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first
half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and
pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who
hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice
for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time
during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it
but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know.
-- Winning sentence, 1986 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
"Please start a new topic for a new topic"
Husse Nov 23 2007
"I'm curious - what do you do with your computer to get mintMenu eat hundreds of
MB - I don't think I've ever been above around 300 MB total"
Husse Oct 2 2007
Don't relax! It's only your tension that's holding you together.
Q:
What is the difference between Texas and yogurt?
A:
Yogurt has culture.
This was the most unkindest cut of all.
-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
-- Mark Twain
It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best
judge of one.

-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring
light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot
to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for
reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb-assassin to break
the bulb in the first place.
You will not be elected to public office this year.
"You could use something called sentences in your message - it's so "compact" th
at it is hard to read and understand."
Q:
A:

Husse Jul 7 2007

Q:
What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A:
A canary with the super-user password.
You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that
you're growing into.
You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.
You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one.
Q:
How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
One.
If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.
-- Mark Twain
Lady Luck brings added income today. Lady friend takes it away tonight.
Q:
What's the difference between a duck and an elephant?
A:
You can't get down off an elephant.
"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I
know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must
be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people
I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and battles."
-- Bastian B. Bux
"samba is not simple to deal with"
Husse Sept 14 2007
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-- Mark Twain
You will outgrow your usefulness.
Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.
Too much is just enough.
-- Mark Twain, on whiskey
Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
-- Mark Twain
The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes.
-- George Gobel
You will not be elected to public office this year.
"You have a really ugly menu.lst"
Husse Sept 29 2007