Don't allow to be used
HIV basics: Good sex for HIV positives
Good sex is after studies and when you
can handle sex outcomes such as a baby.
Talk to your partner about your HIV status
and test together. If you are sexually
active, use condoms to prevent HIV re-
infection, unwanted pregnancies and
STDs. Nuru Nabumba
More on good sex for HIV on pg 3
Students of St Lucia
SS, Mpigi. Sometimes
girls are forced out
of school because of
bride price. Boys may
steal to raise bride
price. This is not cool.
Pick the good things
about bride price and
avoid the bad things.
Can be a sign
of love, respect
and seriousness
Bride price is an old
tradition practised by many
communities across the world. In
Uganda bride price is known by
different names, such as “Enjugano””
or “omukaaga” in western Uganda,
“lim” in the north, “omutwalo” in
central Uganda. The husband-to-
be takes gifts such as cattle, goats,
cloths, local brew and money to
the bride's family before marriage.
In response to a quiz in October's
Straight Talk, 98 of you wrote to us.
We loved your letters. Here
we start with positive ones.
Napayo Caroline,
Iganga SS, says: “Bride
price is open recognition of
women as valuable members
of society. It is the official stamp
of marriage.”
Jackie Midiya, S6,
Cityland College, Wakiso,
says: “Bride price shows a
woman’s value. In the Bible,
Adam had to be put to sleep
and a part of him used to
create Eve. He somehow paid.
Dear youth, we have also
been in that stage. Don’t let
anyone abuse your body. If
you are in school and want
to be a doctor, concentrate
on that. Try to do everything
in its right time. Wagalukka
Benah, a teacher at Nyenga
SS, Mukono.
o.4 April 2010
Vol.16 N
Bride price can
deny a woman dignity and
safety in her marriage. She
can suffer lack of freedom to
speak and make decisions.
Asite Sunday, Maracha SS, from being of age and mature It can expose her to violence
adds: “It is a token of appreciation in thinking, we are materially
and not a price tag.” able to support a family.
family." and leave her stuck in an
abusive relationship.
Buni Dission, S6, Wandi To Vivian Naigaga, Some parents force
Progressive Arua says: "Bride price S3, 15, Comprehensive their daughters to
is a way of testing the boy's ability to College Kitetikka,
take care of the wife and eventually Wakiso, bride price creates marry early so that
children. In our community we are strong marriages. "It brings they can gain riches
proud to show our in-laws that apart a sense of accountability into from bride price. This
marriage, giving both families
can deny girls the
a say in it."
right to study or a free
But watch out! choice of husband.
Boys also face
Bride price can also
back fire on young hardship as they
men and woman. Read struggle to pay.
this Straight Talk and
Sometimes they
think seriously about
the marriage you want. miss marrying the
girl they love, who
has been forced to
Namatende Zaina, S3,
marry an older often
Kakungulu HS, Wakiso, says:
“Bride price is outdated and turns girls polygamous man for
into property. Some men abuse their wives bride price. Atuki
physically or emotionally. They feel wives are Turner, Mifumi
purchased commodities; like cows or cars.”
Read more on page 2.
4 Straight Talk, April 2010
Dear
STF
O. Boxx 22 36 6
P.P.O. Bo 22 36 6
A M P A L A
K KA M P A L A
Some people say that if you grow
pimples on the face you are ready to
have sex. Is this true? Namugenyi
Harriet, 16, Sanje SS, Kabale
That is wrong. Pimples are one
of changes your body gets during
puberty. They are caused by
hormones in your body. They don’t
mean you are ready for sex. They last
only a few months or years, and then
go away. Focus on your studies and
don’t listen to wrong advice.
I have a girlfriend but each time
I meet her, she demands sex to
prove my love for her. What does
she mean? Olwa Samuel, S.6,
Kyambogo College School,
Kampala
Love is tricky to understand. There
are times we fall in love and feel
like having sex. This is all natural
and normal. But we have to be in
charge of our lives. Sex has serious
outcomes such as pregnancy or
getting HIV/STDs. You can be
arrested for making someones
daughter pregnant. Tell her that
Ad vi ce 2 Bw ay o Fred
Bwayo Fred, 17, Kiboga
Progressive SS is
concerned. In ST Feb
2010, Bwayo asked
for advice. He says:
My friends have got
girlfriends. They are
encouraging me to
also get one. Is having
a girlfriend the only way to
prove that you are a true boy?
Straight Talkers, thank you
for your advice.
You all wi n
Straight Talk
T- sh ir ts
It is not true that boys with
girlfriends are the true boys.
Being a true boy means
respecting yourself and doing
things you are supposed to do
at the right time. Don’t listen to
false stories. Nalwoga Anna,
S3, Comprehensive College
Kitetikka, Wakiso
Advise MB
Gulu Comprehensive SS
I am in S4 but I don’t understand anything in class.
Should I leave school and get married? Please advise me
Students of Happy Hours SSS enjoy Straight Talk papers.
having sex with someone does not
prove love. For example, if you are
raped it does not mean you are in
love because you have had sex. If
she really loves you, she will respect
and listen to you. If she insists, then
she is not good for you.
When a girl swallows tablets and
plays sex, is it true that she can’t get
pregnant? If yes, which tablets are
those? Okello Tony Felix, Apac SS
I am afraid it is not as simple as just
drinking water. There are special
medicines called contraceptives,
or family planning pills which
can prevent pregnancy. But these
Fred, having a girlfriend is
not bad but the timing
is not right. You are
still a student and
having a girlfriend
at school will
cause you
confusion.
Feel good and
happy. You will have a girlfriend
when you finish studies. Kusolo
Kenneth, S6, Kampala
Think of your future. What is
your priority? Friends should not
pressure you to get a girlfriend.
Having a girlfriend does not prove
that you are a true boy. Taaka
Penina, Busia Girls SS
Fred, your friends are wrong.
There are many boys who have
had girlfriends but they have
ended up making girls pregnant
and getting HIV/STDs. Don’t mix
a girlfriend and books. You have
to choose one. Concentrate on
your books. Vivian Naigaga, S3,
15, Comprehensive College
Kitetikka, Wakiso
,
4 Acacia Ave, PO Box 22366, Kampala (U) tel: 0312-262030/1, E-mail: info@straight-talk.or.ug, Web: www.
straight-talk.or.ug, President: C. Watson Executive Director: J. Wiltshire, Director Print: t. agutu, Edito-
Some religious leaders want men
to marry men and women marry
women so as to stop HIV/ AIDS,
but can this make people multiply?
Is this really God’s commandment?
Adriko Dick, St Joseph’s College
Ombachi, Arua
Adriko, men and women can both
get HIV/AIDS by having sex with a
man or woman. In fact, the risk is
higher for men who have sex with
men and women who have sex with
women than for men who marry
women. Also, multiplication cannot
take place when a man marries a
man or a woman marries a woman.
To create children a man should
have sex with a woman. That is what
God intended. So it is against God’s
commandment for a man to marry
a man and a woman to marry a
woman.
Can you get Hepatitis B through
medicines must be given by a kissing? Akurut Joan, Dabani
health worker. Ask a health worker Girls SS, Busia
to tell you more about them. But Yes, you can get Hepatitis B through
Felix, you are still studying. If you kissing. This is a virus that causes
decide to have sex now, you have serious swelling of the liver. Other
to remember the risks. Pregnancy ways you can get infected are having
is one of them. If you make a girl sex with an infected person and
pregnant, chances of finishing sharing sharp instruments such as
school will reduce. You can even razors, toothbrushes or earrings.
be arrested or get HIV/STDs. Think
about the outcomes of sex carefully. Counsellor: Dr Paul Semugoma,
International Hospital, Kampala
Know your body: the foreskin
The head of the penis is called the glans. It is shaped like an oval bulb
and is a little larger than the shaft (tube shaped length of a penis).
The glans is covered by a piece of loose skin, which is removed during
circumcision. The skin that covers the glans is called the foreskin whose
out part is the same as rest the skin covering
the entire penis. It is a flexible double layered
fold of skin which is always wet, soft and free to
slide up and down.
The inside layer of foreskin is soft like the
inside of an eyelid, nose or mouth. During sex,
the wet soft membrane of the foreskin can
break and make it easy for the HIV to enter the
bloodstream. In addition, as the foreskin rolls
off the tip of the penis, the special cells inside
the foreskin can get exposed to the virus. HIV
enters a boy's body by connecting onto these
special cells.
Straight Talk Club members of Yesu Akwagala SS, Masaka
Straight talk FOUNDatiON
rial Manager: M. akello, Editors: F. Ouma, P. kiwuuwa, J. abongowath, J. Nafula,
Chief Designer: M. eB kalanzi, Designers: g.B Mukasa, a.B Dentine,
Funded by CiVil SOCiEtY FUND: DaNiDa, DFiD, SiDa, iriSh aiD, USaiD
2 Straight Talk, April 2010
End this pain and suffering
Culture is good but bride price
can force girls into marriage so that view fend males as
that their brothers can get cows subordinate
for marriage. Girls can end up as superior hinder
co-wives married to much older prevent new
men because boys their age can
not raise bride price. Boys have
to marry late because they can
not raise bride price. Read on.
• Violence
Nabucha Betty, 20, S6 Bumbo
SS, Manafwa strongly says
something is wrong when men abuse
their women in the name of bride
price.
Kyasimire Evaline, Ruhaama SS,
Ntungamo, says: “Some men think
they have a licence to treat women as
slaves because of bride price. Parents
encourage their daughters as young as
10 years old to get married instead of
going to school.”
"Recently, in the news a woman in
Pallisa was forced by the husband to
breast feed puppies. He claimed he
had paid cows which used to give
milk for his dogs as her bride price,"
says Nareeba Kabs, Equatorial
College, Ibanda
• early marriages
Solomon, Vurra SS, Arua, adds:
“Bride price has turned into a money-
making business. Many parents look
at their daughters as a source of quick
money. This has increased early and
forced marriages thus girls school
drop-out.
Muto Mushabe, St Francis Voc
SS, Bushenyi, says: “In our village a
little girl whose parents did not want
to educate was forced to get married
to an old man who paid the bride
price immediately. A year later she
died while giving birth.”
Anayo Loyce, Pingiri SS, Soroti,
says: “A friend who lost both parents
was forced by her grandparents to
Bride price brings pain
ful
too young when my sis memories. I was
ter was forced into
marriage by our father
. He arranged with the
boy's parents
to marry my
sister without
her knowing.
Today my sister
is suffering
and the man
doesn't care.
She cannot
leave the man
because my
father already
'ate' the money
and the goats.
She struggles
on her own to
look after the children.
If
forced into early marria my sister was not
ge, she would not be
be suffering and tied to
th
Ocako Robert, Ojigo SS is man.
, Nebbi
is built on good communication
between two parties.
If a woman fails to express her views
Traditio ns freely with their partner, who shuts
males as
her because he paid bride price, it
a
the fight to
fails family development to its fullest.
ns. Auma Winfred, Busia Girls
HIV infecto
adds: “Bride price is meant to make a
woman powerless. It is a shame.”
• objects of traDe
Wawiso Titus, Comprehensive
College Kitetikka, Wakiso, says:
Compulsory bride price means men
and women are not equal as human
beings. It devalues girls and reduces
them to objects of trade.”
Tumwesige Prossy, S6, Trinity
College Nabbingo, Wakiso,
says: “Bride price makes a woman
the property of her father to be
‘sold’ to another man. She then
Girls from Mukono becomes a ‘servant’ of the buyer;
HS say hi! to fellow bearing children, providing sex, and
Straight Talkers. performing household work.”
According to MIFUMI, an No, no. No human being should be
NGO based in Tororo, many an object of trade.
marry an old man who gave a few
goats and cows as pride price. She got Ugandan girls are married off
HIV in marrage.” before the age of 18 because • failure to marry
parents want bride wealth. Such Akullo MD, 19, Gulu HS, says:
girls are denied the chance to “Bride price still exists in Acholi where
Early and forced marriages are
education and to marry when I was born. Unfortunately a lot of poor
against the law. Such marriages
they are adults. boys can’t get married because they
deny people their right to choose a
can’t afford."
marriage partner.
• Decision making
“I am a Pokot from Karamoja. In compromiseD • theft
Wanyama Crispus, S5, Busia SS “There is a boy who loved a certain
our culture a girl cannot get married
adds that bride price compromises girl so much. One day he decided
without bride price. It is a source of
a girl’s freedom and decision-making to steal two goats to pay the bride
wealth. I know of a girl who was
in her own home. price. After a few months the owner
forced to marry at 14. The man was
of the goats found them with the girl’s
very old but paid 20 heads of cattle.”
A good marriage or relationship parents. The poor boy was arrested
Amuge Rhoda, Tororo Girls Sch.
and embarrassed. Now he does not
want to marry.” OR, Ojigo SS,
Nebbi
Think
before
Nakanwagi
Mastura
Jackie
Midiya
Nareeba
Kabs
Wanyama
Crispus speaking
Things come and go
but good manners
o rn er : Sy p
are timeless. Good
S c ien c e c hilis manners mean respect,
care, and consideration
for oneself and others.
Syphilis is a sexually
Being a good listener
transmitted bacterial infection. is better than speaking.
It is passed from person to
Think before speaking.
person through sexual contact. You don’t need to have
It can also be passed from an an opinion on everything.
infected pregnant woman to If you are to speak,
her unborn child. choose your words wisely.
Syphilis cannot be spread through Practice speaking to a
contact with toilet seats, doorknobs, mirror, it works! It also
swimming pools, basins, shared clothing or utensils. Syphilis increases confidence in
is treatable with antibiotics. If you have any unusual speaking.
discharge, sore, or rash, especially in the groin area, stop
having sex and seek health care urgently. Tell all sex partners
to seek care, too. Without treatment, syphilis moves through
the body in stages, damaging many organs over time.
Infected persons are highly infectious during the early stages. QyoU IZ:
To prevent syphilis: Have u or a friend
en,
• Do not have sex with persons who have genital sores; ever been beat bul-
en ,
ed
• Use condoms with new sex partners; abused, threat
or defiled?
• If you think you are infected, avoid sex. Get treatment from lied, raped
a health worker with your partner Tell us yo ur st ories.
ht
• All pregnant women should have a blood test for syphilis. Write to Straig
36 6,
Dr Oundo Abanga, Bugiri Hospital Talk Box 22
Kampala

Stick to the good side of bride price
Let us re-think bride price and
focus on its original purpose
of honouring the parents for
raising the daughter.
Adriko Fred, a 20 year old
student of St Michael SS, Arua
says: "Bride price can be anything as
little as an old rare coin. Abuse of this
custom is unacceptable. Keep it for
what it really is."
Nakanwagi Masturah, from
Kakungulu HS, Wakiso says there
is need to redefine bride price to
eliminate ‘gold diggers’ (people who
want riches without working for it).”
Frances Akello, Minister in
Iteso Cultural Union, says: “
Our culture does not allow the
beating of women, even if bride
price was paid. Poverty has changed
some people's thinking. Some
parents are asking for too much. Talk
to your parents to be reasonable
when asking for bride price.
Concerned by the sad stories
fueled by bride price MIFUMI,
an NGO based in Tororo, last
year asked court to abolish bride
price. Five High Court judges made
a ruling on bride price on March, 27,
2010. Four of them said bride price
should not be abolished.
The diary of a young
positive
Joe is 18. He was born
with HIV. Here Joe talks
about his sex life. One
time one of my former
girlfriends came to visit and
spent a night. We could
not resist each other. We
had sex without a condom;
psychologically that sex
did not satisfy me. I was
so scared I thought I had
infected her.
I told myself, "How will
I ever forgive myself for
knowingly giving someone
HIV?"
If you are HIV positive like me
and
you have a boyfriend or girl
friend
who does not know your stat
us, tell
him or her. They have the righ
t to
know. Encourage them to go
with
you for an HIV test. If they find
they
are negative and you are pos
itive,
they will be thankful. This wil
l help
them understand why you wa
nt to
abstain. Thank God my girl did
not
get infected with HIV.
If you are both HIV positive,
use
condoms whenever you hav
e sex.
There are different types of HIV
. Your
partner could have a differe
nt type
from yours. You can get infe
cted
with more than one HIV typ
e.
Straight Talk, April 2010 3
it makes it impossible for her to move
out of an abusive marriage. It is time
the custom is abolished and the
woman set free.”
Justice Steven Kavuma said
parties may decide not to ask for the
refund of the bride price to minimize
problems when the marriage ends.
Boys, bride price is not an excuse for
abusing your loved one. Make it a
gift and let the principle of love and
respect guide you. Atuki Turner,
Mifumi.
Dudes
from St Mary's College Kisubi share
a light moment at their school recently QUIZ:
Are you
circumcised or do
Justice Alice Mpagi Bahigeine know anyone who has
oro
said bride price does not create mifumi has worked with tort been circumcised? Why
domestic violence because violence District to pass a bri da l gif did you get circumcised?
regulate
against women happens world over ordinance (a local law) to . the Tell us how you felt
even in countries where the term the payment of bride pri ce during circumcision. If you
price
bride price is unheard of. Judge ordinance states that bride ma nded
come from a place where
Constance Byamugisha and will be a gift tha t is no t de traditional circumcision is
Leticia Kikonyogo agreed with her. or refunde d. done, what are you proud
of and what would you
ed at
However, Justice Amos this is a positive move aimd abuse. like to be changed
Twinomujuni said bride price no reducing bride pri ce rel ate about it? Write to
cide
longer serves any useful purpose. "It the boy's family is left to de en of
PO Box 22366,
has become commercialised, highly what it can afford as a tok Kampala
gir l's fam ily.
exploitive and humiliating to women. appreciation to the
It subjects a woman to slavery when
Having more than
one type of HIV
In October 2009, we asked you
to describe a picture of a fishing
village and identify actions
Some are 'squeeze' dancing. There
are also bad touches where a man
is touching a girl’s breast. The
makes treatment and risky places. Many of you dangerous places are the bars, dark
more difficult and responded. Thank you. corners and behind buildings."
weakens immunity
more. Nafula Dorcus R, Busia Girls Many things happen in fishing
SS wrote: “The picture is about communities and people are always
NURU a fishing community. People are on the move. Migration, prostitution,
ANSWERS fishing, selling fish, smoking fish poverty are some of risky factors.
yOUR and loading luggage on the lorry.
QUESTIONS The risky actions include drinking Nafula, you win an ST T-Shirt
alcohol which can damage the
Nuru was born brain.
with HIV. She
now answers
your questions.
I tested HIV
positive. How
can I live positively? You
are
special and so is everyone livi
ng
with HIV. You can still enjoy
life to
the fullest.
Positive living involves visiting
the
doctor regularly for check ups
,
eating well (e.g greens, eggs,
milk,
beans, fish and gnuts), resting
from
work, sleeping under a mosqu
ito
net to prevent malaria and drin
king
boiled water. You also need
to
exercise e.g. doing little walk
and
work, and talking with people
.
Do things that make you hap
py so
long as they are not a risk to
your
life and others.