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1.1.Forecast in Australia
The diagram below shows how the Australian Bureau of Meteorology collects up- to-the-minute
information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts.

The figure illustrates the process used by the Australian Bureau of Meteorology to forecast the weather.
There are four stages in the process, beginning with the collection of information about the weather. This
information is then analysed, prepared for presentation, and finally broadcast to the public.
Looking at the first and second stages of the process, there are three ways of collecting weather data and
three ways of analysing it. Firstly, incoming information can be received by satellite and presented for
analysis as a satellite photo. The same data can also be passed to a radar station and presented on a radar
screen or synoptic chart. Secondly, incoming information may be collected directly by radar and analysed
on a radar screen or synoptic chart. Finally, drifting buoys also receive data which can be shown on a
synoptic chart.
At the third stage of the process, the weather broadcast is prepared on computers. Finally, it is delivered
to the public on television, on the radio, or as a recorded telephone announcement.
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(170)
USEFUL COMMENTS:
1) Q:
Dear Simon,
Thanks for full essay.
I have couple of grammatical questions about this essay.
1. Is verb used,in the first line, is passive and can I say which is usedinstead of used only?
2. In the introduction: and finally broadcast to the public. Can I write for instead of to? And also
shouldnt be broadcasted instead of broadcast since the previous verbs, analysed and prepared, are in
passive forms.
3. Is this paragraph suitable as second body paragraph? Is the passive verbs are correct and should they be
in simple present?
Following the first two steps, all the weather information then is transferred to the computer, where they
are prepared for final assessment before forecasting. Finally, the generated data is broadcasted through
TV, newspapers, radio or recorded on telephones.
Kind regards
A:
Hi Felora,
1. Yes, 'which is used' is correct. Sometimes we miss the 'which is', but both ways are fine.
2. You can write 'for' instead of 'to'. 'Broadcast' is a strange verb because you can choose between 2 past
participles: either 'broadcast' or 'broadcasted'. Both are correct past participles.
3. Your paragraph is good. Use 'it' instead of 'they' as the pronoun referring to 'information'.

2)
Q:

DearSimon
,
Could you please tell me why did you say secondly,incoming inf may be collected directly by
radar
and
analyses
on
RADAR
SCREEN
or
synoptic
chart?
As
the
figure
reveals
only
from
radar
to
synoptic
chart.
Please
explain.
Thanks a lot,
A:
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Hi Moka,
There is a small line from the radar picture to the radar screen. I assume this line refers to radar
information from the radar station OR information that originally came from satellites.

1.2.Brick manufactuting

Here are my 2 main paragraphs describing the steps:

At the beginning of the process, clay is dug from the ground. The clay is put through a metal grid, and it
passes onto a roller where it is mixed with sand and water. After that, the clay can be shaped into bricks in
two ways: either it is put in a mould, or a wire cutter is used.

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At the fourth stage in the process, the clay bricks are placed in a drying oven for one to two days. Next,
the bricks are heated in a kiln at a moderate temperature (200 - 900 degrees Celsius) and then at a high
temperature (up to 1300 degrees), before spending two to three days in a cooling chamber. Finally, the
finished bricks are packaged and delivered.

1.3.Water cycle
The diagram below shows the water cycle, which is the continuous movement of water on, above and
below the surface of the Earth.

runoff: Rainfall not absorbed by soil.

The picture illustrates the way in which water passes from ocean to air to land during the natural process
known as the water cycle.
Three main stages are shown on the diagram. Ocean water evaporates, falls as rain, and eventually runs
back into the oceans again.
Beginning at the evaporation stage, we can see that 80% of water vapour in the air comes from the
oceans. Heat from the sun causes water to evaporate, and water vapour condenses to form clouds. At the
second stage, labelled precipitation on the diagram, water falls as rain or snow.
At the third stage in the cycle, rainwater may take various paths. Some of it may fall into lakes or return
to the oceans via surface runoff. Otherwise, rainwater may filter through the ground, reaching the
impervious layer of the earth. Salt water intrusion is shown to take place just before groundwater passes
into the oceans to complete the cycle.
(156 words, band 9)
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USEFUL COMMENTS
1)

Hi Judy,
Thanks for sharing your exam questions.
You could write "ocean" or "oceans". I chose the plural because the diagram represents what
happens to water in all of the oceans, not just one.
2)

Q:
Hi,
Excuse me, I'm just wondering if there's a tiny mistake in the introductory paragraph 'water
passes from ocean to air TO land' ? I guess it should be AND instead of TO so that would be
'water passes from ocean to air AND land'. Am I right?
Thanks!
Posted by: Drew | Wednesday, June 29, 2011 at 22:48
A:
Hi Drew,
I wrote 'to' on purpose. Imagine you visit 3 cities, you can write:
"I travelled from Edinburgh to Manchester to London."
Using 'and' changes the idea slightly, but it's also fine.
Posted by: Simon | Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 15:24
3)

Q:
what do you mean by "at the second stage labelled precipitation on the diagram shows that water
falls from rain or snow"please explain
Posted by: nisma faridoon | Monday, December 12, 2011 at 12:45
A:
Hi Nisma,
"At the second stage, labelled precipitation on the diagram, water falls as rain or snow."
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This means that I think 'precipitation' (the label inside the rain on the diagram) is the second
stage in the cycle. Precipitation means rain or snow.
Posted by: Simon | Monday, December 12, 2011 at 14:00

4)

Q:
Hi,Simon
You once said the examiner wants to see comparisons rather than describing figures separately in
graphs,charts and tables.Well, what do examiners expect to see in process diagrams or
maps?What do they prefer to see in maps or diagrams?
Thanks,Simon
Posted by: aegean | Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 12:39

A:
Hi Aegean,
For some diagrams and maps you need to compare things. For a process diagram, you can't
compare anything - the examiner wants to see a step-by-step description.
Have a look through all of my lessons and you will find advice and full essays for diagrams and
maps.
Posted by: Simon | Monday, December 19, 2011 at 15:34

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1.4.The process of waster paper : flow chart
The chart below shows the process of waste paper recycling.

The flow chart shows how waste paper is recycled. It is clear that there are six distinct stages in this
process, from the initial collection of waste paper to the eventual production of usable paper.
At the first stage in the paper recycling process, waste paper is collected either from paper banks, where
members of the public leave their used paper, or directly from businesses. This paper is then sorted by
hand and separated according to its grade, with any paper that is not suitable for recycling being removed.
Next, the graded paper is transported to a paper mill.
Stages four and five of the process both involve cleaning. The paper is cleaned and pulped, and foreign
objects such as staples are taken out. Following this, all remnants of ink and glue are removed from the
paper at the de-inking stage. Finally, the pulp can be processed in a paper making machine, which makes
the end product: usable paper.
(160 words, band 9)
Note: I joined the introduction and overview together because they were both short. Try to analyse the
essay - why is it worth band 9?

The essay I shared last Thursday was good enough for a band 9, but why? Apart from being well
organised and covering all of the necessary points, the essay contains some phrases that would
ensure high vocabulary and grammar scores:
Vocabulary
there are six distinct stages
from the initial collection... to the eventual production
members of the public
directly from businesses

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separated according to its grade
Stages four and five both involve cleaning
foreign objects are taken out
remnants of ink and glue
the end product

Grammar
six distinct stages, from... to... (good use of 'from-to' after comma)
where members of the public... (inclusion of extra information between commas)
This paper (use of 'this' to refer back to an idea in the previous sentence)
with any paper... being (use of with + ing to add extra information)
cleaned, pulped, taken out, removed (use of passive verb forms instead of nouns shown on the

diagram)
which makes the end product (use of relative pronoun 'which' to connect ideas)

Note: The best way to get a high grammar score is to reduce the number of mistakes that you
make, not to use 'difficult' structures.

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The life cycle of the honey bee.
Two things to consider are:
1. how to summarise the diagram before describing the stages in detail
2. whether to use active or passive verb forms
...

...
nymph = immature form of an insect
moult = shed or lose old feathers, hair or skin to allow for new growth
The diagram illustrates the various stages in the life of a honey bee. We can see that the complete life
cycle lasts between 34 and 36 days. It is also noticeable that there are five main stages in the development
of the honey bee, from egg to mature adult insect.
The life cycle of the honey bee begins when the female adult lays an egg; the female typically lays one or
two eggs every 3 days. Between 9 and 10 days later, each egg hatches and the immature insect, or nymph,
appears.
During the third stage of the life cycle, the nymph grows in size and sheds its skin three times. This
moulting first takes place 5 days after the egg hatches, then 7 days later, and again another 9 days later.
After a total of 30 to 31 days from the start of the cycle, the young adult honey bee emerges from its final
moulting stage, and in the space of only 4 days it reaches full maturity.
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(169 words, band 9)

Solar panels
The diagram below shows how solar panels can be used to provide electricity for domestic use.

Introduction: paraphrase the question as usual

The picture illustrates the process of producing electricity in a home using solar panels.
Overview: say two general things about the diagram
It is clear that there are five distinct stages in this process, beginning with the capture of energy from
sunlight. The final two steps show how domestic electricity is connected to the external power supply.

The picture illustrates the process of producing electricity in a home using solar panels.
It is clear that there are five distinct stages in this process, beginning with the capture of energy from
sunlight. The final two steps show how domestic electricity is connected to the external power supply.
At the first stage in the process, solar panels on the roof of a normal house take energy from the sun and
convert it into DC current. Next, this current is passed to an inverter, which changes it to AC current and
regulates the supply of electricity. At stage three, electricity is supplied to the home from an electrical
panel.
At the fourth step shown on the diagram, a utility meter in the home is responsible for sending any extra
electric power outside the house into the grid. Finally, if the solar panels do not provide enough energy
for the household, electricity will flow from the utility grid into the home through the meter.
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Note:
I've underlined examples of the two language features that make process diagram descriptions special:
'steps' language, and passive verbs.

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