Babysitter Turned Bad

Written by,
Ian Toomey

When a kid feels threatened and completely vulnerable, he/she will

experience trauma. When he/she feel traumatized, it may be hard for them to feel
safe and move on. He/she may dwell on the thing that made them feel that way,
unlike an adult who may have an easier time dealing with trauma. Kids need
comfort and attention while they deal with the trauma they experienced. Kids may
experience fear and anxiety, and may relive the events that caused the trauma
physically and mentally, which makes it hard to get over their fears and anxieties.
He/she may feel sad, angry, threatened, depressed, or unsafe and unsecure. Do not
turn away from kids when they are in this stage. He/she needs comfort, support,
guidance, and someone to love them while they are going through trauma.
-//I struggled to keep my breathing quiet. I started to sweat, my heart pounding
in my ears. This was not how this night was supposed to go. My own babysitter had
turned against me, and he had a gun in his hand and murder on his mind. I dont
even know what I did wrong!
Steven is, and now was, my favorite babysitter. I used to really like him, but
tonight changed that. Mom and Dad went out for the evening, and tonight was
supposed to be a fun night, but the moment Mom and Dad left, Steven didnt want
to be here with me. I dont know why, but he made me go to my room, then he got
a gun from the laundry room.
He showed it to me and said If you try anything tonight, I will kill you.
I said I would stay here and read books, and that seemed to please him. He
left, but a half hour later he was back in my room threatening to kill me for making
too much noise. In my own defense, I was getting pretty bored, and I was pacing
around my room, but I didnt think my pacing would make that much noise! He told
me I had one more chance to live. I waited until he was downstairs watching TV to
sneak out and grab a cordless phone from Mom and Dads room, praying to God for
safety and guidance to get out of this alive.
After I got the phone, I hid under my bed and called 911.
911, what is the nature of the emergency? The woman on the phone said.
My babysitter is trying to kill me! He has a gun! I whispered.
What is your name? The woman asked.
Parker. I replied.
How old are you Parker? The woman asked.

Eight. I said.
Okay Parker, the police are on their way. You are being very brave. The
woman said, encouraging me.
Please hurry! I said.
I could hear Stevens footsteps coming up the stairs. I knew he could
probably find me. Just then an idea struck me: Hide in between your bed
mattresses! Steven would never look there! I wiggled out from underneath my bed
and lifted up the top mattress. Then I climbed onto the top of the bottom mattress,
and slowly lowered the top mattress back on down until it rested on top of me. I
pushed the blankets back out so it would look like the bed was normal. A moment
later my bedroom door opened and Steven stormed in. I fell silent, becoming like a
statue. My heart pounded in my ears, the sound like a gong going off every second.
I was worried Steven could hear my heart beat through the mattress. Steven spoke.
It was muffled, but I could still sort of hear his voice.
Well, I guess Ill just stay in here until Parker comes out. Then he sat down
on the bed, just inches from where I was hiding.
It started to get hot and stuffy in my little bubble, but I didnt dare move a
muscle. I laid very still, praying that the cops would get here soon.
Where are you in your house? The lady on the phone asked a second later.
In my room. I whispered, not even daring to breathe.
Stay right where you are. The police are on their way. The lady said.
I hoped the police would show up soon. I was getting sweaty hiding in
between the mattresses, and I really wanted a breath of fresh air. Suddenly Steven
stood up. He mumbled something, but I didnt hear it. I didnt dare move because I
was worried that Steven might still be in my room, waiting for me to appear.
Suddenly I smelled smoke.
No, it cant be smoke, can it? Is it? Is there a fire? I muttered to myself,
confused.
I decided to risk it and peek out. I reached out and lifted up the blanket. All of
the shag carpeting on my floor was on fire. Steven was nowhere to be seen.
Oh man! I said, starting to panic.
Parker? Are you there? I heard the woman on the phone ask.
My room is on fire! Im trapped! Help! I said into the phone.
Just then the smoke alarm went off. It was loud and screechy. I hoped our
family security system would alert Mom and Dad that something was wrong.
Parker? Whats that beeping? The woman on the phone asked.

Its the fire alarm. Steven set my room on fire and now Im trapped! I
practically yelled, not caring that Steven could hear me.
He was probably long gone by now.
Okay Parker, stay where you are. The fire department is arriving at your
house right now. They will come rescue you. The woman said.
Can you call my parents? I asked.
I already did, kiddo. The woman said kindly.
Suddenly I found myself starting to cry. This was supposed to be a fun night.
We were going to build a fort and watch a movie and eat popcorn together, but it
didnt turn out that way. Was I going to die because my babysitter didnt want to
watch me for a couple of hours? What was on my babysitters mind? What was he
thinking? How could I have prevented this from happening in the first place?
I knew that I could say a prayer to Heavenly Father for help to be calm and
for his help to be safe. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints.

I dont really know how long I waited in my cramped hiding spot, but the next
thing I knew my bedroom window smashed out and there was a blast of water
coming in through the window. I screamed and hid under the mattress. Suddenly I
heard a voice. The voice sounded like a man, which made me worried that it was
Steven. I couldnt make out what he was saying. Just then the mattress above me
lifted up and I was exposed. The mattress fell to the floor next to my bed. The first
thing I noticed was that my room was no longer on fire, and that water had soaked
everything. Then I noticed the man standing by my bed. To me he looked like Darth
Vader. The man had a mask on over his eyes, nose, and mouth and every time he
breathed the mask made a blowing sound. The man also had on a tan coat, tan
pants, and tan gloves. He had a red helmet on his head that had a sticker on it with
a red axe against a white background. I screamed with fear and scooted backwards
until I was up against the wall. The man reached up and took his mask off his face. I
looked into his eyes for any signs of anger, but they were soft and kind. Parker? Are
you okay? The man asked. I nodded, still too scared to speak. Parker, my name is
Nathan. Im a firefighter. Im here to help you. The man said. I, I learned about
firefighters in school. I said, amazed that my voice was working. Thats great!
Nathan said. He moved closer to me. Can you sit up for me please? Nathan asked.
I sat up and hung my legs over the edge of my bed. Nathan leaned down and picked
me up with his arms under my armpits. I looped my arms around his body and held
onto him.
Now lets get you out of here buddy. Nathan said.
I smiled as he carried me. I was in safe hands now. I trusted Nathan.

Nathan went over to the window and lifted up the blinds. The first thing I
noticed was that the window was shattered, and that there was a giant ladder that
led down to a big red fire truck. I looked around. There were fire trucks, Police SUVs
and cars all up and down our street. There lights were flashing, and it was
mesmerizing. I knew those lights meant I was safe from the person trying to harm
me, namely Steven.
Okay. Here we go. Nathan said.
He stepped onto the ladder and it wobbled, but it didnt break.
Whoa! I said, terrified. I clung to Nathan like a lifeline with my arms.
Its okay. Ive got you. Nathan said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
He continued on down the ladder, and the wobbling decreased the closer we
got to the fire Ambulance. When we stepped onto the fire Ambulance I heard a
voice yell
Parker! I looked around and saw Mom rushing full speed towards me.
Maam! Stop! A police officer yelled.
Two police officers grabbed Mom and stopped her in her tracks.
Mom! I yelled.
I held my arm out to her, and she held my arm out to me. Nathan stepped off
the fire truck and brought me to an ambulance that looked like a box. He laid me on
a bed.
Take good care of him, for me. Please. Nathan said to the woman standing
over me.
I will. I promise. The woman said.
Can I see my Mom please? I asked.
The woman went out the door and disappeared. A moment later she returned
with Mom.
Parker! Are you okay? She blurted as soon as she saw me.
Uh Hu. I said, nodding. She sat down on a bench next to my bed. I looked
her over. Her eyes were red and puffy. She must have been crying.
Im so glad youre okay. I thought you died in the fire. Mom said, emotion in
heavy in her words.
What was wrong with Steven? I asked.
I dont know. He just went berserk. Mom said.
I had no idea what berserk meant.

What does berserk mean? I asked.

It means crazy, or off the walls. Mom explained.
Oh. Okay. I said. That made more sense.
Im going to check your son and make sure hes okay. The woman that got
Mom said.
Okay. Mom said.
Whats your name buddy? The woman asked.
Parker. I replied.
Hi. Parker, my name is Christa. Im going to make sure youre okay and
nothing is wrong with you. The woman said.
Okay. I said, nodding.
Can you move your legs back and forth for me? Christa asked.
I wiggled my legs back and forth. Then Christa had me move my legs up and
down and around. Next she had me wiggle my fingers back and forth, then my
wrists, arms, and shoulders. She had me move my neck around, and my jaw.
Okay. Good job. Go ahead and open wide please. Christa said.
I opened my mouth wide and Christa shined a light in my mouth.
Say Ahh! Christa instructed.
Ahh! I said.
Perfect. Christa replied.
Okay. You can close your mouth now. Christa said.
I closed my mouth, and Christa shined the light in my eyes, nose and ears.
Okay, we are almost done. I just need to check your breathing with a
stethoscope. Christa explained.
Whats that? I asked.
This! Christa said.
She held up a stethoscope. I had seen those before when I went to the
doctor! Christa lifted up my shirt and put the end of the stethoscope on my chest.
Then she put the two ear things into her ears.
Take a deep breath. Christa instructed.
I took a deep breath, and let it out. I repeated taking a deep breath and
letting it out as Christa moved the stethoscope around my chest. Then she had me
turn over onto stomach and she repeated moving the stethoscope around my back.

When she finished I rolled over onto my back. Christa took the ear pieces out of her
ears and put the stethoscope in a box.
Alright, well everything looks to be okay. I think I can let you go, unless Mom
has any concerns? Christa asked Mom.
Nope! Mom said, smiling.
Great! Then your son may go. Christa said.
Great! Thank you so much! Mom said.
I smiled and sat up. I hung my legs off the edge of the bed, then boosted
myself off.
Thank you Christa! I said. She smiled.
I held Moms hand and together we left the ambulance. I turned and waved to
Christa. She waved back.
Maam? I heard a voice say.
Mom and I turned around and saw a police officer coming towards us.
Yes? Mom said.
Can I talk to your son please? The officer asked.
I looked up at Mom. She nodded.
Sure. She said.
Go. Mom said, releasing her grip on my hand.
I stepped forward.
If you need anything, Ill be right over here Parker. Mom said, standing next
to the back doors of the ambulance we had just come out of.
Okay. I said.
The officer knelt down so he was at my eye level. He introduced himself as
Officer Tom.
Can you please tell me what happened tonight? Officer Tom asked, taking
out a notebook from a pocket.
Well, it all started when my babysitter came. He was nice to Mom and Dad,
but as soon as they left, he started to be mean to me. He locked me in my room and
told me if I came out he would shoot me with a gun. I stayed in my room reading
books. I got bored of reading books, and I started walking around my room. He
came and told me to be quiet. I thought I was being quiet, but he didnt think so. I
explained.
I believe you. Officer Tom said. I took a deep breath.

So what happened next? Officer Tom prompted.

I got some toy cars and started to play with them, but he came back and
told me to shut up. I put my toy cars away and laid down on my bed. Then got a
house phone from the computer desk. I grabbed the phone and hid under my bed. I
called 9-1-1, and I heard my babysitter coming back upstairs, so I hid in between
my mattresses in my bed. He sat on my bed, then the next thing I knew, my whole
room was on fire and he was gone! Then firefighter Nathan came and saved me. He
brought me down to this ambulance right here.
I pointed to the Ambulance next to me.
Where Christa made sure I was okay. She made me move my arms and legs,
and she looked in my mouth with a light, and into my ears and eyes. She said that I
was okay.
Thats great to hear that youre okay. Officer Tom said. I smiled.
Well, I think that is all I need. Thank you very much. Officer Tom said.
I smiled again. Officer Tom stood up straight.
Mom? I said, turning around.
Mom appeared by the back wheel of the ambulance.
All done? Mom asked.
I nodded.
Great! Mom said.
Thank you Maam. Officer Tom said.
No problem. Mom said to Officer Tom.
Mom took my hand and led me away from the Ambulance and Officer Tom. It
was then that I saw Dad waiting by a police car nearby.
Daddy! I yelled.
I broke loose from Moms hand and ran towards Dad. He bent down and I
hugged him, nearly knocking him over. I started to laugh.
Im so glad youre alive Parker! Dad said, relief in his every word.
I am so glad to see you, daddy! I said, still laughing.
Me too. Dad said, squeezing me hard. I squeezed him back and broke free.
Im glad youre safe, kiddo. Dad said.
-A few days laterWell this sucks! I have to sleep in the living room until Mom and Dad can
repair my room. Thankfully the fire didnt leave my room, and not very many things

got burned, for which I am extremely grateful. Mom and Dad have to rip out all the
carpet, drywall, and siding, and basically re-build my room from the ground up.
My bed, my toys, my books, posters, stuffed animals, and even my little
rocking chair grandma gave me for my birthday last year were all destroyed in the
fire. I missed my little rocking chair. It was where I went to think or calm down if I
got angry or stressed. I know I can get a new one, but it wont be like the original
one.
I really, really, really liked that chair.
Today I am going to the jail with Mom to see Steven. I want answers. I want to
know why Steven acted the way he did a few days ago. I want to know why he tried
to kill me, and what I did to make him do what he did.
When Mom and I got to the jail we went inside to a lady sitting behind a desk.
Mom told her who we were here to see, then an officer led us to a small room. The
room had a desk that had a window on it that actually split the room into two
rooms. Mom and I sat down and waited. A moment later the door on the other side
of the glass opened and in came Steven with an officer behind him. The officer took
off Stevens handcuffs, and Steven sat down. In front of Mom and I was a telephone
receiver. I picked it up and held it out so Mom and I could hear Steve talking. Steven
picked up his phone receiver and spoke.
Hi, Parker. He said.
I could tell he was scared that I would be mad at him. I was a little mad, but
not enough to tell him about it.
Hi Steven. I said.
Well, I guess youre here because you want answers, right? Steven said,
sighing.
I nodded.
Well, I guess Ill tell you what happened. Steven said.
I nodded again.
Okay, I, I was mad about my Girlfriend-Jessica-breaking up with me, and I
didnt really want to go and babysit you, so I guess you could say I took my anger
out on you. I know it was stupid, and that I could have said no and not gone and
babysat you, but, well, things just got worse as my day went on, and I guess I
spilled over while I was watching you. Im, Im really sorry. Steven said, his eyes full
of tears.
Its okay Steven. But, why did you set my room on fire? I asked.
I was mad that you were hiding, so I set the fire to get you to come out. I
was planning to put the fire out when you came out, but then it got out of control. I
left your room because I didnt want to die. I looked for you to try to save you, but

you were hidden well. I left and escaped, hoping you would get out okay. When the
police came I gave myself up and told them that you were still in the house. They
told the fire department, and then I saw the firefighter carrying you down the ladder
from the window of your house. I thought you were dead. When I saw you come out
of the ambulance, I wanted to tell you I was sorry, that I wasnt mad at you, that I
didnt want you to die, but the cop wouldnt let me out of the car. I guess I was just
acting stupid. Im sorry.
I took a deep breath, and said the hardest thing I have ever said.
I, I forgive you Steven. Steven smiled.
He spoke, and his words were thick with emotion.
Thank you, Parker. He said.
So, do you want to know where I was hidden? I asked.
Sure.
Well, I was hidden in between my mattresses on my bed. When you sat
down on my bed right before you set it on fire, you were actually a few inches from
my arm. I was worried you were going to kill me if I came out, so I stayed hidden. I
didnt know you tried to save me after you set my room on fire. I said.
I didnt even think to look there. Steven said.
Hey, your times up. The cop behind Steven said. Steven sighed.
Well, goodbye Parker, and Mrs. Kelly. Thanks for coming. He said.
Goodbye Steven. I said.
Mom nodded. Steven stood up and put his hands behind his back. The officer
cuffed them, then he led Steven to the door. The officer opened the door, and the
two of them disappeared through it.
Well, lets go. Mom said.
I sighed and put the phone receiver back on its hook and stood up. I took
Moms hand and we went out to the car. I climbed into the backseat and Mom
started the car and we turned towards home. I was quiet as I absorbed everything
that Steven had told me. He had been mad about his girlfriend breaking up with him
and he took it out on me? Couldnt he punch a pillow or write an angry letter,
crumple it up, and throw it in the trash? Mom always makes me do those things
when Im mad, and it helps me to calm down and think straight. Why couldnt he do
those things, instead of having a gun and lighting my room on fire?
Parker? Buddy? Are you okay? Mom said, looking in the rearview mirror.
Her voice shook me from my thoughts. I sighed.
Yeah. Im okay. I replied without conviction.

Suddenly my mind was filled with everything that happened during the
terrifying ordeal. I was suddenly reliving the event, just like it was happening again,
second by second. I started to cry and I closed my eyes. I felt the car slow down and
stop, then I heard a car door open and close, then another door open and close. I
felt a hand on my right shoulder. I felt my seatbelt release and come off my body. I
opened my eyes and looked around through my tears. Mom was in the backseat
with me. She pulled me onto her lap. I hugged her and cried into her shoulder. I was
literally re-living every terrifying moment from when Steven first arrived at our
house to the time that I hugged Dad. It was if I was watching it through a TV, almost
third person like. I could see every line on my mattress of my bed, hear Stevens
muffled speaking, smell the smoke, then see the carpet on fire. I felt hot when I saw
the fire, and cold when my bedroom window broke and water doused the flames. I
saw my mattress be lifted up, then I saw Firefighter Nathan with his mask on. I cried
even harder when I saw his mask. It scared me, just like the first time I saw him. I
watched him take his mask off and speak to me. His voice sounded clear and
muffled at the same time. I nodded, then I saw him pick me up and bring me down
to the ambulance that looked like a box. The woman in the ambulance made me
move my arms and legs just like she did the first time, and she did everything she
did when I was in the ambulance after the incident. When I was finished in the
ambulance I talked to the cop, then I saw Dad. I left Mom and ran towards him, but
as I got close to Dad, he started looking like Steven. I slowed down and stopped. I
looked around for Mom, but she was gone. Steven had a gun in his hand.
Dont shoot! I screamed over and over, putting my hands up.
Steven came towards me, lifted up the gun, and fired. At the same time I
jerked away from Mom. I was crying hard.
Its okay kiddo. Im here. Mommys got you. Youre safe. Dont worry. Its
okay. Mom was saying.
She was rubbing my back gently. I looked around wildly, panicking. Steven
was nowhere to be seen. I collapsed into Moms chest and hugged her tight.
I, I, I saw everything. Like it happened again. Except when I ran to hug Dad,
he turned into Steven, and he had a gun, and he fired it at me. I whispered.
I was shaking all over.
Steven cant hurt you. Hes in jail right now, remember? He wont hurt you.
Mom said reassuringly.
I know. I said.
Just then I heard a knock on the window. I looked out the window and saw a
policeman standing outside the car. I looked back and saw his car, red and blue
lights flashing on top of his car. Mom rolled down the window. I started to cry again.
Hello maam. Officer Oaks. Is everything okay? Is your boy there having a
medical emergency of some sort? The officer asked.

No, hes, hes, well, dealing with trauma. He had a scary thing happen a few
days ago, and hes just trying to get over it right now. Mom replied.
I squeezed Mom hard. I was experiencing the fire again.
Oh. Was that the babysitter that went berserk a few days ago? Officer Oaks
asked.
I looked up at him and said Yes.
Officer Oaks authoritative figure melted, and he smiled.
I was the first officer to arrive at your house after you called 911. Im so glad
to see that you okay. Officer Oaks said.
Thanks. I said, calming down a bit.
Your welcome, buddy. I smiled a little.
Officer Oaks smiled.
Well, I have to run. Ive got a call to go to, but I just thought I would make
sure you two were okay. Good day. Officer Oaks said.
He turned and walked back to his car, climbed in and drove away.
How are you doing, Parker? Mom asked.
I had started to calm down a little. I had stopped crying, and Mom and I were
cuddling in the backseat. I could hear the rhythmic clicking of the emergency
flashers up front. The sound was almost comforting. I nodded.
Yeah. Im okay. I said.
Do you want to talk about it, buddy? I nodded.
I saw everything that happened again, just like it was happening to me
again. That keeps happening, and I cant control it. Its scary every time it
happens. I said.
Well, you what you can do when that happens? Mom asked.
What? I said, looking up at her.
You can sing a favorite song from the kids songbook.
Well, I love the song I Am a Child of God.*
Why dont we sing the first verse now. Maybe it will help you calm down.
Mom suggested.
Okay.
I am a child of God, and He has sent me here. Has given me an earthly
home, with parents kind and dear. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, and help me
find the way! Teach me all that I must do to live with him some day.

When we finished singing I felt the spirit strongly in me telling me that

everything was going to be okay. I was calmed down and ready to go home.
Mom? I said, looking up at her face.
Yes? Mom said.
Im ready to go home now. I said.
Okay. Im going to drive us home, okay? Ill be right in front of you the whole
time. Mom said.
Can I please sit in front with you? I asked, not wanting to be separated from
her between the seats.
No, you have to sit back here. Its only a few minutes to get home. Youll be
okay. Mom said.
Okay. I said, disappointment spreading throughout me.
Well be home in a few minutes. Mom said, rubbing my back.
Yeah, okay. I said.
Mom got into the front seat and pulled back onto the road, turning off the
emergency flashers as we pulled onto the road. We went to a light, then turned
right. From there we drove down the road to our house. When we pulled into our
driveway I looked up at my room. I could see the sheet that was over my window. It
was a bad reminder of the fire. Mom parked and turned off the car, and she got out.
I made no move to get out.
Mom opened my door and said I will leave the car unlocked. Feel free to
come inside when you are ready. I nodded.
Mom closed my door and went inside. Just like she promised she left the car
unlocked.
A few minutes later I decided to go inside. The car was getting cold and I was
shivering. I got out of the car and went inside the house.
-That nightI really dont know why I am having a hard time keeping my emotions stable.
It seems like every time I look upstairs, I start crying. During dinner I was quiet,
which is not my usual self. I am usually pretty talkative when dinnertime rolls
around.
Parker? Is everything alright? Dad asked during the meal.
I started to nod, then I shook my head slowly.
Yes and no? Dad asked, concerned.
I nodded, then sighed.

Hon, hes had a rough day. Mom said.

Oh? Dad said, looking at Mom.
We spent about forty-five minutes today sitting on the side of Sanders
Street while he was crying in my shoulder. He was re-living what happened. He
hasnt said much all day.
Hmm. Dad said.
I took a deep breath, and said I saw what happened again. You know when I
ran to you after talking to that cop?
Dad nodded.
Well, when I was running towards you, you turned into Steven. I started to
cry again.
I kept explaining what I saw.
Y-you h-had a-a g-gun, a-and y-you p-pointed i-it a-at m-me a-and f-f-f-fired.
I said.
I looked at Dad. He looked horrified. I took a few breaths to calm down.
I came out of it as soon as you, er, Steven, shot me. I explained.
Parker, I would never kill you. I love you too much. Dad said. I smiled a
little.
Are you going to finish that broccoli? Mom asked, pointing at the small pile
of untouched broccoli left on my plate.
I sighed, eyeing my broccoli with disdain.
Yeah. Ill finish it. I said. I picked up my fork and started eating the broccoli.
That evening. Mom and Dad talking.
Hon, have you called the doctor yet? Dad asked Mom.
Yeah. Parker has an appointment on Thursday at nine. Mom replied.
Great! Dad said. Mom came out of the closet and sat on the bed.
You know what hon? I worry about him. Ever since the incident, he hasnt
said very much. I offered to call his friend and set up a time they could play with
each other, but he didnt want me to. I just worry that something is wrong with him,
like a switch was flipped and he changed and we cant turn the switch off. Its like
its stuck in the on position. I dont know what to do to help him. Sarah said.
Well, Im not exactly sure what to do either, but I did just read an article that
talked about kids experiencing trauma, and it said to make sure your there for him
when he needs you. Dad explained.

Well, I spent forty-five minutes with him today on the side of the road while
he was crying. What more should I do? Mom asked.
I went over and sat down on the bed next to her. I put my arm around her and
took a deep breath.
I think you are doing what you need to do. Dad said, sitting on the side of
the bed and laying on his back.
-ParkerI had a few questions, so I went to Mom and Dads room to see if they could
answer them. Mom and Dad were talking on the bed. I stopped right on the
threshold of the doorway.
Mom? I said timidly.
She looked around.
Oh. Hi Parker. Come on in. She said.
Dad motioned for me to sit on the bed. I went in and climbed up on the bed.
How are you doing buddy? Mom asked.
Um, I have a couple questions. I said.
Well, what do you want to know? Mom asked.
Why cant I cant come upstairs without feeling scared and sad? I asked.
Well, I think it is because your brain keeps seeing what happened, and it is
scared that it will happen again, which makes you feel scared. Mom said.
Oh. Will it ever stop?
With time, it will. It might take a while for you to get over it. Dad explained.
How long will that take?
It depends. Dad said.
I sighed and laid on my back.
Will Steven be able to babysit me again when he gets out of jail? I asked.
Mom and Dad hesitated.
Well see about that when it comes to it. Steven did some pretty bad things,
and Im not sure if I trust him right now. If he is changed after he gets out of jail,
well, maybe he can come back and babysit you again. Dad said.
Okay. I said, disappointed.
Come here kiddo. Dad said.
He pulled me into a big bear hug. I hugged him back.

Mom and I love you buddy. We will always be there for you when you need
us. Were here for you, always. Dad said.
Promise? I asked, looking up at him.
Trust filled me up.
Promise. Dad said.
I hugged him again, resting my head against Dads chest. I could hear his
heartbeat. It was somewhat soothing, actually. A moment later I was lying on Mom
and Dads bed while we just talked. I had a feeling inside me that told me that
everything was going to be okay and that I was going to be safe. I told that to Mom,
and she told me that it was the Holy Ghost telling me that. I smiled. The Holy Ghost
can be described in a few different ways, but sometimes describing how the Holy
Ghost makes me feel can help. For example, I can say that it's a feeling of peace I
receive when I know Ive doing something that my Heavenly Father wants us to do.
The Holy Ghost is the third member of what I call the "godhead". The
godhead refers to God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost.
-Two years laterHi Parker, how was school today buddy? Mom asked as I came in the door.
Good. Ben and I played on the playground together today. It was fun. I
replied.
Thats great! Have a snack, then you need to take a bath before Dad and I
go out for the night.
Okay. I said.
I went to the fridge and found some leftover hamburgers from last nights
dinner. I put one on a plate and stuck it in the microwave for thirty seconds. When
the bell dinged I took it out of the microwave and put on the counter. I got a fork
from the drawer in the island and got up on a stool to eat my snack. When I was
done I put my plate and fork into the dishwasher and I went upstairs to take a bath.
When I got out of the bath I put on clean clothes and put my dirty clothes into
the basket in the laundry room. I picked up my backpack from by the front door and
put it in my room in its usual place by my rocking chair.
Parker? Mom said from the door to my room with a knock.
Yes, Mom? I replied.
Can I talk to you for a minute please? Mom asked.
Sure. Come in. I replied.
I sat down on my bed and kicked my shoes off onto the floor. Mom came in
and closed the door behind her. She sat down next to me on the bed.

Do you remember Steven, your babysitter? Mom asked.

I nodded. How could I forget? He nearly killed me two years ago!
Well, Dad and I have been talking, and we think we trust Steven enough to
come back and babysit you again, but we wanted to know what you think. Do you
want him to come back and babysit you again, or do you want me to find a new
babysitter for you? Mom asked.
I was silent while I thought about it.
Um, well, he was pretty scary when he tried to kill me, but I think he has
changed, and I have seen that through our visits to him at the jail. I trust him. I
said, setting my mind.
Well, okay. Ill go get the phone and call him. Mom said.
Okay. I said.
Mom stood up and went to the door. Suddenly an idea popped into my head.
Hey Mom! I said.
Yes? Mom said, stopping and turning around.
Can I talk to Steven after you? I want to tell him something. Oh, sure. How
about you talk to him first? Mom said.
Okay! I said.
Ill be right back. Mom said.
I laid back on my bed and thought about what Mom and I just talked about. I
couldnt really come to a concrete decision on whether or not I trusted Steven
again. I decided to say a prayer and ask God about whether or not I should have
Steven come babysit me again. I got down onto my hands and knees and bowed my
head and closed my eyes. I folded my arms and took a deep breath. I started my
prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father. Thank you for the great day I had at school today.
Thank you that Ben and I could play together today, and that we were safe. Please
help me to know whether or not Steven should come and babysit me tonight. And
please help me to
Parker? Steven is on the, oh. Never mind. Mom said.
I held up one finger to tell her just a minute.
Okay. Mom said.
She left my room and closed the door. I continued my prayer.
Please help me to be safe tonight, and to have fun. Please bless Mom and
Dad that they will be safe too. And please, please help me to know whether or not
Steven should come and babysit me tonight.

I was quiet for a moment, then I continued my prayer.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. I opened my eyes and
sat there for a few moments.
Then suddenly I had a strong feeling in my heart that seemed to tell me Yes.
Steven should come babysit you tonight. You will be safe and all will be well
tonight.
I smiled.
Thanks, God! I said out loud, smiling.
I stood up and went to my door. I found Mom in the hall outside my room.
You ready? She asked. I nodded.
Okay. Hes ready. Here he is, Steven. Mom said into the phone.
Mom handed me the phone and I took it. I turned and went into my room.
Mom made no move to follow me.
Yell for when youre ready, bud. Mom said.
I gave her a thumbs up, then I shut my door and sat down on my bed.
Hey Steven! I said.
Hi there, Parker. How are you? Steven asked, his voice a little nervous.
Im great! How are you? I replied.
Good. Steven said.
So, Steven, I have something to tell you.
Okay, what that might be? Steven asked, his voice growing a little bit
excited.
Well, Ive been thinking, and it wasnt easy, but I trust you enough to come
and babysit me again. I said. Steven was silent.
Steven, are you there? I asked.
Yeah, yeah Im here buddy. I was just thinking about what you said. You
really trust me to babysit you again, even after what I did to you two years ago?
Steven asked.
Yep. I really do Steven. I do. I trust you.
Thank you Parker. That means a lot to me. It really does, Parker. Steven
said.
Steven and I talked for a little bit longer, the finally I called for Mom and she
came to my room. She sat down on the bed and took the phone from me. She put it
on speakerphone. Mom asked Steven if he would babysit me tonight, and he said

yes! He also said he would make sure he wasnt angry when he came over. When he
asked me what I wanted to do tonight, an idea crept into my ten-year-old mind.
I smiled and said We should build a fort and watch a movie while we eat
popcorn. I said, thinking of what I wanted to do two years ago when Steven went
berserk.
That sounds like a great idea! Steven said.
I smiled again, and so did Mom. I knew Steven was smiling too.
Okay, I know what youre thinking: Who has babysat me for the last two
years? Well, a babysitter named Christina has filled Stevens place, and while she is
still pretty fun to be with, she is nothing like Steven was. She still does things I like
to do, but shes always on her phone and shes not much fun to be with. Ive
complained to Mom about it, and she talks to Christina about it, but it doesnt help.
So, I am very glad that Steven is coming back tonight, because he is tons more fun
to play with than Christina is!
-That nightThis has been an awesome night! Steven is so cool! He never mentioned the
incident from two years ago, and, well neither did I. There was no guns, no fire, no
mad babysitter, and no scared kid. As soon as Steven came over and Mom and Dad
left, Steven and I started on the fort. Its constructed like this: We put four wooden
chairs in a circle in the TV room with a gap in front of the TV, then I got a big blue
blanket from the bathroom closet from upstairs and we draped the blanket over the
top of the chairs and tied it down with duct tape. Then I got another blanket and I
spread it out over the carpet inside the little fort. Then I got my favorite Scooby-doo
blanket from my bed and I put it in the fort. Steven popped some popcorn in the
microwave and put it into a big bowl. He brought it over and put it in the fort. I
turned on the TV and got the book of movies from the cupboard under the TV.
Steven and I flipped through the pages until we found one we liked. It was
Disney/Pixars cars. I loved that movie. I had seen it at least a bazillion times, but I
could always watch it again. I put the movie in and pushed play, then Steven and I
laid down on the blankets to curl up at watch the movie.
-EpilogueEven though Steven did try to kill me, he was able to turn his life around and
change his ways. Even though he scared me a lot and caused me a lot of pain, I
forgave him and I trust him again. I know that it was through the power of Heavenly
Father that I was able to forgive Steven of his treachery, and that is why I am glad
to be a Mormon. Not everyone is a Mormon, but I believe that everyone could be. I
am grateful to be alive, and that Steven is my babysitter still. I am also glad that
Mom and Dad trust Steven to babysit me again too. My friends think it is weird that I
still have a babysitter even though Im ten years old, but to be honest, I wouldnt
have it any other way. I dont like being home alone, so when Steven comes and
babysits me, I feel safer with him around, plus its more fun with him around to
watch me too. If I get hurt, he can call for help, and if I am sad, he can talk to me

about it and help cheer me up. Steven is really good at making me laugh, even
when Im down in the dumps. It seems like he is a bottomless pit of endless jokes
that are hilarious.
The End.
-Authors noteAs the author, and a fellow Mormon just like Parker and his parents are, I know how
hard it can be to forgive someone who has hurt me, no matter whether it be
physically, mentally, spiritually, or another way. But I would like to add my
testimony that I know that the power of forgiveness is there for us to use and that it
can be used whenever we need it, no matter what the circumstance. Jesus Christ
atoned for our sins on the cross so we can be forgiven when we hurt someone, so
someone who hurts us can be forgiven too. That is my testimony of forgiveness.
Sometimes it can be really hard to forgive, especially if youve trusted somebody
and they have hurt you. Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, though, we know
that we CAN forgive them. It can be a long process, but God tells us in a scripture
that I will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.
Sometimes it takes time, but it is possible. Pray for strength every day to be able to
feel love for the people who have hurt you. When Christ was on the cross, He said,
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. If the Savior can forgive
those who crucified Him, we can forgive others who have hurt us as we pray for the
strength to be able to do so.

(*LDS Childrens Songbook Pgs. 2-3)