IELTS WRITING SAMPLES

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart illustrates the data about 5 activities Australian children prefer to do in their spare
time.
Overall, boys do more of each activity than girls (except for arts and crafts and watching TV or
videos) . Another visible trend is that, while boys are more active than girls, both still prefer
sedentary activities such as TV and video games
The percentage of Australian youngsters in both genders watching TV or videos is equal, at 100%.
Electronic or computer games are much more preferred by boys than by girls. The figures are
slightly over 80% and 60% respectively. Likewise, bike riding also attracts boys more than girls in
their spare time. Boys involvement in this activity is nearly 80%, whereas the figure for girls is a little
under 60%.
Around 40% of 5-to-14-year-old boys enjoy skateboarding or rollerblading, while the proportion of
girls at this age is only slightly more than 20%. In contrast, the figure for girls spending their leisure
time on art and craft is greater than their male counterparts, at just under 60% and approximately
35% respectively
181 words
Written by Ngoc Bach
Written by Ngoc Bach
Page: https://www.facebook.com/tuhocIelts8.0

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IELTS WRITING SAMPLES

Hi Bach,
A native speaker would probably not write a better report than this, Bach.
Very well done in all sections of the marking.
Grade
Task Response

9.0

Your first paragraph is a concise and accurate paraphrase of what the chart
contains. You change enough words to satisfy the examiner.
I cannot fault your summary paragraph you identified two key points and
you provided a clear overview.

Cohesion and
Coherence

9.0

The organisation of your detail paragraphs was clear, and it enabled you to
make comparisons consistently between the leisure activities of boys and
girls. The result was a comprehensive and organised report.
In paragraph 3, you contrasted their participation in both
skateboarding/rollerboarding and art/craft. The figures are accurate. In
paragraph 4, you contrasted their participation in the other three categories
and the figures were accurately reported once more.

Vocabulary

9.0

the vocabulary was clear and your choice of words was accurate. I was
particularly impressed by your range of vocabulary to express comparison
and contrast: Likewise/In contrast/while/whereas. You skilfully used a
good range of words to refer to boys and girls: both genders/male
counterparts/youngsters/Australian children. I scored 9.0 again

Grammar

9.0

Your grammar was band 9 level, Bach. It was accurate throughout the
report and so I then checked your range of grammar. I found the correct
use of adverb clauses and comparative forms and you varied the structures
of your sentences.

Overall

9.0

The site (ielts-exam.net) that you used is a good one, Bach. Sometimes, I
do not agree that all their model answers are band 9, however, so be careful
of them. I suspect that your report is probably better than their model
answer (I will check it later when I have time). Your answer might well
score 9 from the examiners.

Written by Ngoc Bach

Page: https://www.facebook.com/tuhocIelts8.0

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IELTS WRITING SAMPLES

This was a good task to do, because it is a chart which does not show
changes over a period of time, and these charts are sometimes given in the
exam. You wrote a great report, and I have almost no suggestions to make
on how you could improve it.

Written by Ngoc Bach

Page: https://www.facebook.com/tuhocIelts8.0

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