Synastry

Sharing Sacred Space in Relationship by Linda Reidcopyright 1997

http://www.panplanet.com/
What is Relationship?
When we learn about houses in astrology it soon becomes apparent that no house stands in isolation from the others. There is the
interface of opposite houses, houses at 90 degree angles to each other, adjoining houses and following houses all of which have a
'relationship' of meaning with each others. Life experience is such that contact with others is essential to wholeness and well
being. In the first house, one is 'looking out' to the 7th to search for a special 'other'. From the 2nd house one measures resources
and self-worth through the reflective experience of the 8thhouse. Every 'subjective house' - from 1 to 6, has its counterpart in the
'objective house' opposite, from 7 to 12.The Horizon defines the 1st and 7th houses and this axis is where we most clearly focus
on the exchange between the solitary self and intimate relationship with others, as those houses below the horizon are centered on
the self and subjective experience while those above the horizon are centered on others and objective experience. The 1st house
connects to the idea of 'persona' - that part of the personality that is comfortably exposed to the world and the image or role played
a mask behind which to protect the vulnerable inner self.
By polarity, the 7th house is where that vulnerability lies and represents that which is least exposed to the world. Here is where
parts of the self are not revealed except in intimacy with another. In the complex dynamics of 1st and 7th house polarity the 7th
house acts as a place for the "shadow" components of the self. The 7thhouse represents relationships with others and is
traditionally the house of marriage, intimacy, but also the house of enmity.
What is "Shadow"
"Shadow" can be explained as all that a person denies or is unable to recognize or acknowledge about himself, both positively and
negatively - a sort of compensating facet of the self which is deemed incompatible with what the conscious world demands. This
"shadow" can be like a splinter aspect of personality that contains positive and negative traits. In relationships one might seek
another person who is able to express these qualities so that one experiences a sense of whole being.
The Self and the Other
The 1st house is about survival of the personality. Over and above all the other connections with the house, it is the first
experience, marking coming into conscious being at the moment of birth. Survival is the instinctive "perpetual flame" of spirited
life and carries overtones of the planet Mars. Imagine Olympian runners who carry the torch across the world. Healthy, virile and
powerful, the runner guards the flame until he reaches the goal, which is to announce to the world the message of human love,
peace and good relationships between people. Nations gather in the name of this ethic, and the doves of peace and harmony that
are released as the flame arrives at the goal are a symbol of what has motivated the race in the first place. The whole process is an
allegory for 1sthouse - 7th house dynamics - the urge to find peace, acceptance, approval, love and beauty in the eyes of another
and of the world; a joyous celebration of individual survival to reach for unity. The principles of love, harmony, unity are
embedded in7th house meaning. In surviving the elements, stress, loneliness, the runner finds his sense of realization. He is loved,
acclaimed, adored and applauded. It is entirely natural and instinctive to seek others in order that they may reflect something of
ourselves, our prowess, our gifts and talents. There would be little

purpose in surviving if we did not have others with

whom to share, compete, love, approve and support, and with whom to find a sense of worthiness. Each person seeks reflection in
the eyes of another and that reflection confirms and reinforces being.
Synastry

When working with charts and relationship, astrologers examine the way one persons planetary energies interface with another
persons planetary energies. This is called Synastry. It is illustrated in the exchange between the gestalt of houses, the paradox of
archetypal pairs and the connections and exchange between specific planets. Synastry defines the psychic urges, energies and
connections that are made in this exchange. No one person can affect another without being affected themselves. Perfectly placid
people can find themselves filled with tension when around specific individuals. They may even react physically, as their hair
stands on end, and they may feel intruded upon by the very presence of the other so that they feel compelled to take a step
backwards. One person does indeed invade the other's' space! Similarly one may feel empowered and delighted by the presence
of another. Agap has been breached and space has been occupied but in a harmonious and pleasurable way. Such is the nature of attraction
and one might take a step forward in this circumstance! Exchange of energy between two bodies is a two-way connection and like
a magnet, can repel or attract. In intimate relationships people build a mutuality that has its own space and becomes a composite
of the planets involved, taking on a life or "entity" in itself that lies between the partners and is a mutual melding of parts of each.
The Astrologer's Role in Relationships' Counseling
Astrologers need to look at relationship in a completely non involved and non judgmental way. When counseling others we have
to take care not to invade their mutual space. If we do we tread on the fertile soil of sacred space in which the relationships grows.
We must never 'blame' - even though one person might exhibit negative traits. The exchange in relationship is what is important
not one individual's effect on the other in a polarized kind of way.

We play a part in counseling whereby we are at risk of projecting our own dilemmas onto our clients or identifying with their pain
as the energy of acting out troubles touches something in our shared space. For when we come into consultation with two others,
two becomes three and the quality of the sacred space alters. We then must act in some ways like a guest, a guide, or a light that
shows the way but does not determine the path. The dynamic of projection is a constant in any relationship. The counselor needs
to dissociate from issues in the clients life and not make personal connection with those issues. That way he protects himself
from the projections of clients to avoid being blamed for things that occur in a clients life! Blame in itself is a process of
denial of responsibility and an attempt to shift issues like so much baggage from one person to another."Issues" arise when the
melded energy is stimulated, positively or negatively, drawing out the potential positive or negative faces of that melded energy.
Astrologically this occurs as transits or progressions trigger responses in one or both of the partners and resonate within the shared
space created by specific planetary aspects. The Astrologer's role is to empower clients to make creative decisions and take actions
for themselves. If we take away that power by identifying with their issues, making decisions for clients, we are not doing our jobs
correctly. Only rarely, perhaps where there is danger to life, can we step in and become directly involved. The responsible
astrologer will have links with shelters, legal advisors and other professionals.
What is Projection?
The shadow finds its most virile expression in relationships. What we don't own is dumped on the other person! This is an entirely
unconscious process because if we were conscious it was happening we would be owning it! We project our positives too for it is
a sad fact that we often bury our affirmative qualities along with the undesirable. To understand how projection works, imagine a
film projector, beaming images that are embedded in and emanate from a reel of film. Those images pass through the air and are
not decipherable as they are being 'beamed'. We can only decipher them when they 'hit' a screen, set the right distance away so
there is focus. This is projection. If I am standing beside the projector - effectively,

if I am the projector - I see, reflected on

the screen, exactly what is embedded in the film. Since the film "belongs" to me, I see the very images which I initially 'own'. But
I may not be aware that the film is running! If the images do not hit on a screen, they continue into the distance until they either
run out of energy, as defined by the power of the projector, or they hit on a screen so distant that the images are blurred and
meaningless. So, in order to see the images, the screen has to be exactly in the right place and the right focus length! This is the
hook for my projections - the one with whom I have a relationship! What I project is reflected back to me and it appears that the
screen is the reality not the projector! Inner archetypes, energies, drive, desires and shadow 'stuff' is projected out into life's arena,

albeit unconsciously. This is a natural process of the psyche seeking connectedness with life. Many of those 'projections' can be
defined as 'expectations' that we become aware of and deal with through understanding our own psychic dynamics, but often we
are surprised by what we see projected. That's normal! It doesnt always have to be experienced through intimacy, but can be
found every day, in all associations. There is creative good in projecting our positives. By doing so, we empower the other person,
actuating, supporting and confirming those same qualities in them. And so we nurture each other. Negative energies are another
matter .When we project our negative shadow sides, they are likely to respond from their shadow side too. "Shadow boxing" is all
too common a phenomenon in relationship but is not identified until such time as it rises up and socks us!
Working with Synastry
In a synastric relationship there will be times when the mutual meeting point is affected by the unfolding cycles of planets. If, for
example Pluto is dominant by transit or by being transited in the chart of one or both partners, the relationship can become
ridden by the energy of Pluto. Any connections in the synastry of the people that are responsive to Pluto will arise as issues for
them. The connection may lie dormant for years until the right trigger comes along and focuses on that particular facet of the
relationship. Then the shadows may both come out to play and it isn't really play, but a deadly game of power play. In examining
the synastry
between people astrologers can identify potential "hot spots". To do so we have a useful tool called the synastry grid, which will
be detailed in part two of this series or articles. So who owns what? No one person, necessarily. What is central to the theme is the
melding of energies - an archetypal meeting in a sort of morphogenic field mutual space. Energies touch, connect, blend and
integrate and the source is lost from view. An alchemical change occurs and the core meaning of each planet is modified.
Astrologers deal with that third entity, not the sources. It sometimes occurs that a relationship is distinctly unhealthy and for some
reason not apparent at the time, people are drawn together to fulfill some facet of shadow experience. We need to be realistic and
not idealistic about relationships. Romantic notions have no place when a relationship turns sour. Sometimes a relationship
outlives its purpose. Exchange is graphically shown in the synastry grid illustrating planetary interaction between one person and
another. Particular points of contact alert us to potential issues that could arise and also give us potential points of harmony
and balance through which our clients can be encouraged to enjoy more fully. An exploration of the grid can be found in the next
part of this article.
The Synastry Grid
What the Grid Illustrates
Aspects between one person's planets and the other person's planets describe the interface of contacts in the shared space of
relationship. They describe the product of the blended energies. Underpinning that, always, is the individual's archetypal
expectation from relationship which is reflected in the natal chart. It is a fallacy then to expect the synastry grid to offer anything
more than a gestalt of the relationship unless one has a firm grasp on of each individual natal chart. Nevertheless, the grid is a very
useful tool to use in relationship counseling and the aspects in the grid can be quite telling. A 'hard' aspect does not mean bad. A
soft aspect does not mean its easy street either.

We can use a grid to examine the dynamic exchange between specific planets from one person to another, but the points of contact
are likely only to emerge in life experience when triggered by transits or progressions. The main value in the grid is to give first an
overview of the relationship, its tone and color, then, when issues do arise, to examine the specifics contacts. For example, 'his'
Saturn is conjunct 'her' Moon. This may operate, depending on natal expectation, as a dynamic that creates safe boundaries,
consistent nurturing, stability in emotional display or may enable the couple to feel safe and cherished within the relationship. If
one or the other or both experience difficult transits or progressions that trigger either or both of these planets natally, it can be at
the meeting point, the shared space that an 'issue' arises. What has represented safety and maturity can now be beset with feelings
of limitation, unresolved parental issues for one or both partners, and this matter needs to be resolved through dialogue and
understanding. It is simply one aspect in the entire relationship, one contact in a grid full! It is essential for the professional

astrologer not to fall into the trap that so many do, of looking at a synastry grid, defining one or two 'negative' contacts as doom to
the relationship, when such contacts may never be triggered or raised into consciousness. So the grid serves two purposes, it
describes only the potential for problems or harmony in its general tone, but also gives a focus for specifics if and when they arise.
Aspects formed between one person's planets and another's planets, represent the quality and kind of exchange. The Synastry Grid
shows one person's planets placed across and another person's planets placed down. Where the planetary energies interface, there
is aspect, which has a defined quality to it. Orbs used are the same as in natal work, but obviously the tighter the contact the closer
the exchange.

The grid above shows the interface of planets between fictional people Katie and Joe, and illustrates the range of aspects that form
between them.
In this article I address aspects as contacts in the gestalt of the grid. The potential manifestation of particular aspects will be
explored in a later article, but in a general sense "difficult" aspects indicate potential trouble or challenges in the relationship,
depending on the planets involved and difficulties may only emerge when triggered. So, picking the grid apart, point by point is a
futile effort and does nothing to enhance understanding the dynamics of the relationship. When counseling, it is more likely that
the astrologer will only deal with those exchanges that have arisen as 'issues' and examine the dynamic of that along with any
transits etc. that are occurring for the individuals. It is important though to see the overall nature of the relationship and some
people actually need challenging relationships. So the overall tone is determined by the type of aspects in the grid. Relationship is
played out at many levels, in day to day contact, in a social environment and at a deep psychic level where interchange occurs
without conscious awareness until buttons are pushed and people are overcome by feelings and urges they didn't even realize
existed! By dividing the grid into 'experiential fields', we can gain insight into the personal daily dynamics of the relationship, the
social and environmental, hierarchical and moral interface and the subconscious, psychic connections. These levels of experience
are naturally taken as a whole, yet divided for the purpose of examination.
How to Divide the Grid into Experiential Fields
Placing person A across and B down, first separate the planets from the angles, node or any other points you choose to use. I
recommend planets, Chiron, Node and Angles. Draw a line from Pluto of one to Pluto of the other and create a large square. Now
draw a line from one Mars to the other Mars making a smaller square in the top left-hand corner .Continue this Mars line down to
the Pluto line on both sides of the chart and you have 4 squares with 25 blocks in each, where:

Top Left: Aand B's Inner planets meet .Top Right: A's Outer planets connect with B's Inner planets. Bottom Left: B's Outer planets
connect with A's Inner planets Bottom Right: A and B's Outer planets connect.
Inner Planets
The top block, enclosing Mars to Mars - are the Conscious dynamics involving the Inner planets. This is the kind of exchange that
is in each person's awareness as they are interacting on a personal level. This is the exchange that goes on day to day.
These planets enable individuals to recognize each other's needs and significance, challenge and co-operate with each other
openly. This is a particularly vital dimension, the dimension of activity and consciousness, life giving and constant. Because the
"inner" or personal planets are closer to individual awareness the individuals are less likely to project so one tends to 'own' this
area. There are 25 possible contacts here. Obviously we cannot expect that every space in the grid will have a contact. If it did one
might have an extremely symbiotic relationship. 12 to 14 is a reasonable number of contacts to expect, depending on the type of
relationship. The more contacts, the more dynamic, vital and energetic the relationship will be, also the more complicated and
exclusive of others it can become, so there needs to be spaces in the togetherness! Within this field area there are exchanges
between archetypal pairs that come into relationship already equipped with paradox!
Outer Planets to Inner Planets

Outer planets to Inner planets appear in two locations. A's Outer planets to B's Inner planets and B's to A's - top left and bottom
right squares. Contacts here represent unconscious energies emerging into consciousness. This is the kind of exchange that
operates at a subliminal level and can be easy to project.
Because of the tendency to project, one must avoid the tendency to define 'who is doing what to whom', but that there may be an
issue arising at some time, if the aspects are difficult or there may be opportunities for growth through relationship if the aspects
are easy. The person who's inner 'personal' planet is 'hit on', is the one who may bring the issue into the consciousness. The field
outlined is from Jupiter to Pluto, so they involve both - the Social Jupiter and Saturn and Transpersonal Uranus, Neptune and
Pluto. These are the undercurrents that most often manifest as issues. From Jupiter to Pluto there are several layers or levels of
consciousness leading to unconsciousness. The deeper layers are symbolized in the actual distances of the planets in orbit. In this
way Jupiter to a personal planet constellates closer to consciousness and by the time you get to Pluto you are getting deeper and
deeper into the layers of the unconscious. With Pluto in particular there is a feeling of compulsion, maybe a habit-forming
relationship with the other person's personal planet. So if one person's Pluto aspects the other person's Venus there is a compelling
quality to the relationship that is almost indescribable. It has enormous magnetic pull that, depending on the condition of Venus
and Pluto in the individual natal charts, might fulfill some huge need and can often be the sort of thing that holds people together
for better and often for worse - depending on how they handle the conscious dynamics. This area is where you get a lot of insight
into the relationship, not just what is said or what is acted out but what lies beneath the surface. The transpersonal planets are
often the ones most projected, because, between people of similar ages, they might reflect natal potentials into relationship and the
other person becomes an easy means to subconscious denial. This area is where the relationship gains maturity or falls apart. This
is where people sometimes must address the undercurrents, the sorts of issues that constellate and arise from unconscious energy
and where there's a real need to look within and say what do I want out of the relationship. Why are these issues arising? What are
they telling you? Enormous growth can take place through these contacts. So can enormous destruction.
Each person has a representative set of boxes of their own, so there are two boxes with 25 in each. Twice as many as in the
conscious square! Twice the possibility of hits that affect the relationship. What are these little energy bursts doing to the
relationship? Is the relationship able to stand the button pushing stuff in each separate individual?
Jupiter and Saturn
Within this section there is a sort of sub section where Jupiter and Saturn interact. These planets are the bridge between personal
and transpersonal and have a lot to do with the way we live our lives with others. So it is worth looking at them as a separate
gestalt to the Transpersonal planets. To do so, means to again draw a line between Saturn and Uranus, dividing a narrow strip that
is the bridge to the unconscious. Here is described much of the conditioning that has occurred in childhood, that is brought into the
relationship. We may believe in intimate relationships that there is each one of us, but in fact there are a lot of other involved!
Mother, father, teacher priest, siblings, friends and ancestors all share the common bond. We inherit our parents psychology and
they join us in bed with our partners! We are shaped in childhood and adolescence by social and environmental philosophies
and paradigms and bring them to the relationship. Like dowries of old. These are the planets tell us something of what the couple's
mutual directions, ethics and social expectations might be and the natal chart will tell us how those matters have been shaped. Are
they at odd with each other? What are their social, economic and ethnic, religious and philosophical backgrounds? The interaction
with inner conscious planets will indicate some of the social matters that arise. Differences as well as similarities will show up. It
is as well to begin by looking at the balance between each person's 'section' for if there are more contacts in one section than the
other, then there could be difficulties. If the 'tone' of the aspects are difficult, then the issues that arise come from conditioned
factors harking back to learned behaviours.
For example, these two planets, especially in contact with the other's Moon will indicate a lot about family and hierarchical
expectations. Saturn might express the limiting or restricting factors while Jupiter might express the joyful, expansive and
encouraging facets of conscious relationship. Similarly, Saturn offers secure boundaries in which the relationship can thrive and
Jupiter might exaggerate and amplify facets of individual issues out of proportion. Mother-in-law looms large! One way or
another balanced number of 'hits' are going to offer opportunity for growth and direction. This applies not only within the

relationship but also in the way in which it operates within society, families, the tribe, the general social environment,
educationally and sociologically. It gets the relationship out into the wider community and establishes it within the framework of
contemporary society as it is experienced in the environment in which we live. Saturn can bring real structure to the aims and
goals of the relationship, if the persons are aware and often they are not. Saturn can be comfortable in its sameness and provide
genuine security. Jupiter can instill a sense of growth and expansion and provide enthusiasm for goals and expectations. The way
that an individual handles society, education, religion, hierarchical structures are all operating on a semi-conscious level. They are
just below the surface and they can cause friction. This can occur if the balance between the two sections is out of kilter.
Individual aspects might emerge as issues and points of agreement or contention, but if the energy exchange is lopsided, there is
already a potential issue. as one philosophy overcomes the other and quite often there solution is found in family attitudes. If the
balance is reasonably even, then the potentials for harmony in all matters social, moral and hierarchical are good. If not, social
expectations, religion, ethics and morality, family and in-laws, jobs and education all might create challenges and bring 'outsiders'
into the picture. The attitude towards relationship or marriage stems from social and imprinted family conditioning and arises
here. There are 24 possible connections between Jupiter Saturn and the Inner planets but most important is that there is a
reasonable numeric balance.
Uranus, Neptune and Pluto
Outer planets in connection with the other person's Inner planets create exchangesthat can have very significant meaning in the
relationship. These are the contactsthat push the buttons of awareness in another.Its as though one person's unconscious become
manifest in the othersconsciousness and so this is where projection takes place. Manipulation,undermining, disruption and
distortion are all negative possibilities that can andwill arise to some degree. So can transformation, inspiration, unconditional
love,idealism, and clarity.Much will depend on the quality of the aspects. There must be a good balance between one person's 25
square 'outer to inner' and the other person's square. Onereflects the other. This is where the unconscious levels of the relationship
can become loaded and you might get a 'perpetrator - victim' syndrome - and the power of the victim can be as great as that of the
perpetrator!These are powerful contacts linking the unconscious of one to the consciousness of another, so that what emerges as
issues can be both empowering as well asdestructive.We cannot lay blame on the person who's Pluto hits another person's Sun
becausewe cannot be entirely sure that the other does not need to have the Pluto connectionin order to feel alive and vital. If we do
so, we are falling into the trap of assumingthat Pluto is a 'bad' energy and Sun is a 'good' one. They are in fact different facesof the
self. The Sun consciousness of one may need to 'borrow' that powerfulenergy from the unconscious of the other.It is only through
negative issues that arise that we can even begin to understandhow the connection is 'working'. What we do know is that
somewhere in therelationship, one person 'draws out' the other person's unconscious energies. Howthey manifestly 'use them' is a
matter for conjecture.
Outer planets to Outer planets.
This section is 'generational' so represents collective phase energies within thesociety and time that the relationship is
taking place, care should be taken with thisarea. No personal planets are involved so it is 'descriptive' rather than dynamic.Of
course people born close in age are going to get conjunctions between Uranus Neptune and Pluto and I suggest that you look very
carefully at these and also look at the collective conditions prevailing at the time in history when these people were born.I used to
disallow them, but have subsequently revised my opinion of theor effectiveness. They do indeed have great power. Everyone born
carries some of thecollective energy. This is expressed historically by the trends of the time when the people were born. This
constellates in the psyches of the individuals who now bring those energies jointly to the relationship. They are "flag bearers' for
their peer group, so the interaction between outer planets and outer planets is important.Outer to outer indicate a sort of spiritual
quality to the relationship but also connectto life phases or generational qualities that are deeply embedded and may meanlittle to
the social paradigms of the present day.There are common patterns shown in the birth charts as reflections of collective patterns.
For example during the 1960's the planets Uranus and Pluto were inconjunction. The planets Saturn and Chiron opposed them. for
some. Both partnersmay carry these energies which can be extremely destructive in many respects andhighly challenging in

others.The principles of the planets will play out in some way in the relationship and, atthis part of the grid are descriptive of
collective undertones. Consultant astrologersare familiar with the syndrome of similar clients, by age and dilemma. "All
myfriends relationships are breaking up. What is wrong with mine". In essence thefulfilment of collective urges rests on those
born at the time and there is a problemin relationships when those collective models are stimulated. It's happening allaround and
can be very influential on individuals. There is a knee jerk reaction asthe tribal nature of the experiences of the collective impinge
on the psychicstructures of individuals - and often the solution can be found in the contacts made'across the bridge' of Jupiter and
Saturn and the philosophies of peers.

The Angles
The 'entry' point to relationship is the angles - for better or worse.A luminary conjunct an angle is a great meeting point, especially
in a growthsense. We are all insecure in different ways about persona, coping mechanisms, soif someone comes along who's very
vital life energy blends with our approach tolife, there has to be a whack of energy.These angles of each natal chart form the
structural realities of relationship and of course, involve not only intimate partners but the parental axis that is brough tothat
relationship too. And, if the relationship under examination is a partent childrelationship, the angles will also be important.It is
easy to divide this area into small sections, those that connect angles toluminaries; angles to personal planets; angles to social
planets; angles to outer planets and angles to angles . This can be divided to suit your personal preference,so as to incorporate the
little subsections in the rest of the grid.I find it important to have contacts here. Angles to Luminaries in particular. AgainI'd hope
for a balance between the two sections - because the Angles relate somuch to the manifestation of the relationship in reality. By
this I mean theindividual's perception of reality, through the Asc. which expresses the way theyapproach life and their coping
mechanisms, persona and goals in life at a very personal level. So we are relating the Synastry to the houses in a sense, but
thosehouses are the 1st, 4th, 7th and 10th house experiences.If a person has a high expectation of life - many planets in angular
houses, strong personal goals via the 1st house, they might seek someone in life, whom, theysense instinctively , can help them
achieve those goals.Conversely, if the relationship experience for one individual is frustrated by the lifeexpectation of another,
there is a further tension to contend with.
The Node
North Node and the axis formed with the South Node say something about theindividual soul's journey.
Metaphorically, I have my personal 'destiny' and so does my 'other' . If our journeys coincide, then
there is a strong link. Spiritually, we are connectingsomewhere in the search for our personal 'grail' - on
the same journey, at least partof the way or our journeys take us so that we connect to learn something
from eachother. Maybe, if you subscribe to the theory that Nodes reflect past lives, there's a past life
lesson to be learned. The nodal contactsdo not have to illustrate permanence - they may be going in
different directions but paths cross. The relationship dynamic is where they play out or pay for this
link .It's a philosophical point and astrologers should define the node in their own way.
Chiron
The meaning embedded in the planetoid Chiron is dual - the wounded healer andthe great teacher, so
these expressions enter relationship together with all the other archetypes.When we perceive Chiron as
the wounded, we have come to understand the'wounding' is actuated in childhood and resonates to
themes of abandonment and'not fitting in' at some level of experience. So it may be that connections
remind theindividual of these unconscious themes in his life, either positively, or negatively.The
relationship can become the vehicle of healing or that of further wounding, because where there is the
wounded, is also the capacity to wound. It is worthlooking carefully at this when a grid implies the
possibility of toxicity in therelationship because it may be through the psychic connections with Chiron

thatactual physical illness can arise out of the psychosomatic dynamics of therelationship.Similarly the
theme of teacher arises and for every teacher and his assumedwisdom there has to be a student and
assumed ignorance. Once more, the marriagemay be a life lesson - it may be one where one partner
assumes the role of teacher and the exchange is blocked by feelings of inadequacy in another.The two
facets of Chiron are inextricably interwoven - the healer/teacher archetypeteaches because of his
woundedness yet can be wounded because of his ignorance.
The interface of these energies is subtle because they come from a dark place -childhood, the
unconscious, so there is a risk of psychological 'scapegoating'embedded in these contacts.If
abandonment themes are not addressed or dealt with individually, they are projected into the
relationship, and either healed or projected onto the partner assurrogate 'perpetrator' - so there is a
strong potential here for revenge, for continued fear of and experiences of abandonment.At the same
time, there is powerful psychic healing and empowerment. Thewisdom and healing energies mutually
shared can create an environment wherebyeach empowers and heals the other or they become codependents. There can be a perpetual re-enacting of the initial pain that created the wounded psyche.
This iswhere one seeks out the others weak spots as well as their strengths.
Aspects in the Synastry Grid
Having defined the gestalt of the relationship the next approach to the grid is todetermine the "flavour"
or "tone" of the relationship. The grid could be likened to a piece of music, there are all the notes in the
individual spaces, but without thetiming, the "signature", or the instruments, how does the music
sound? Is it playedstaccato, allegro or con spirito - is it a solo piece or an orchestral crescendo, whatare
the harmonies and melody, and where are the elements of surprise and delight?To determine the
'flavour' of the relationship, count the number of 'hits' accordingto the aspect. This will often show a
predominant aspect, underpinned by a secondtype of aspect. In might also show that one type of
aspect is very low in number.Or not represented at all. At the risk of oversimplifying, this gives an
immediate"feel" for the relationship and the experiential fields where particular aspectsmanifest as
dominant.For example one might find the 'personal' area well aspected with trines andsextiles, while
unconsciously there are a lot of squares and oppositions. On thesurface the relationship might be
pleasant and outwardly harmonious but it isfraught with projected tensions and challenges at an
unconscious level, suppresseduntil triggered.
By looking at the grid in this way, a distinct bias according to the dominant aspectwill show. This is
descriptive of the whole relationship.The second predominant aspect can often be in contrast to the
primary aspect. The predominant "theme" running through the relationship is a strong indicator of
howthe individuals experience the relationship. One should examine this carefully inorder to be fully
understand the qualities and dynamics that are inherent in therelationship, no matter how it is
expressed to you or to the outside world.And, it goes without saying that not everyone looks for the
same qualities in arelationship. So the Natal Chart will always be the point of departure
intorelationships.
A lot of conjunctions
There is osmosis in this relationship and you often see this in people who grow oldtogether and start to
look alike, talk alike and in many ways are the same. Theywill have a tendency to identify each other by
roles. In some respects this can be anideal but can also become a bit predatory or co-dependant. With

this tonal quality,there is both positive and negative.Conjunctions are the foundations of the chart. It's
where people agree, where thereare few disputes and hence compatibility that is a true melding of
energies. Thisrepresents a solid foundation that provides a base for lasting interface. So if thereare
plenty conjunctions, there is commonalty and communion.But too many, sets the relationship in
concrete to the point where is becomes staticand lacking in energy. An osmotic relationship is fraught
with the danger that oneof the partners can, by the strength of personality, entirely swamp the other.
Therisk of domination is high particularly where one person's outer planets areconjunct the others
personal planets.The unfortunate side of this kind of relationship is that an issue might arise that
cansmash the concrete to pieces as transits trigger response mechanisms in individualnatal charts and
the stress is a projectile - straight into the sacred space of union.

Plenty Oppositions
Generally speaking in today's Western marital climate, individual roles are clarifiedas equal.Oppositions
can be very useful in illustrating distinctly individual positions in heequality. They point out potential
differences that might be challenging but areaspects that lead to ways to 'meet in the middle'.However,
if there are too many oppositions, individuals don't come together often enough to sustain the
relationship! Positively, each identifies themselves within therelationship as separate entities.
Sometimes this kind of opposition basedrelationship can create conflicting or challenging conditions,
but it is a dynamicform of energy and one from which 'give and take' emerges as a positive
outcome.Partners either agree to differ or find some measure of compromise. Whenoppositions are
triggered by transits to one or both charts, the 'issue' that arises canoften be clear-cut.Oppositions
enable the individuals to respect and recognise their differences andwhen issues arise they will often
draw together and rise to the challenge united or polarises to one point of view. With oppositions, they challenge
each other to grow.And personal growth can sometimes be at the expense of the marriage, but if it
is bonded with supportive aspects such as trines or sextiles, loving and liking andrespect underpin it.
Oppositions are not rigid, they allow for a zapping back andforth of energy, and at times there needs to
be a haven for tranquillity andrestoration of energy.
Many Squares
Squares can be very energising but also very difficult in relationships because withthe square there's
often no solution or resolution to tensions.There seems to be a need to prove something all the time in
a square relationship.This can be a crisis-ridden relationship but with each crisis there is opportunity
for growth. But, growth can be blocked when every time one partner seeksconfirmation in the mirror of
the other they meet a brick wall or they meet withsome shadow energy that reflects the un-owned
negative qualities of the partner.

The lack of give and take when the square predominates can be very wearing. Toomany squares will
take a toll somewhere; there's only so much stress a person cantake!Wherever you have a square you
have a potential issue that has to be integratedinto the framework of the life of the relationship so that
it becomes an active partof the whole. Positively this can create a great dynamic with potential
for motivation and acceptance of the other's qualities, but if there are too many, it becomes
burdensome.If you've ever watched a bricklayer building a house, he fills his hod with only asmany
bricks as he can comfortably carry. That way he is productive and the building grow. Squares are like
bricks. They build walls but also create safe boundaries. Too many and they either crash down and kill

an innocent passer by or they cripple the craftsman!Relationships need a few brick walls to climb in
order to test the validity of therelationship. It's often through a certain level of healthy stress that we
can achieveand there is potential for achievement with a good balance of squares.
Mainly Trines
Like the grand trine, there is promise of great talent and creativity but most often itis not accessed
unless it's part of a kite or gets a good kick along with a square or two. It's the same with a Trine
flavoured relationship. It can be very bland. It may be lovely and light-hearted and frivolous but without
issues, without passion, thereis no richness. There is often a sense of one partner accumulating; staying
put inlife while the other becomes the social activist. In this way, they never fullyinterface but so
tolerate each other's activities. With this relationship there's aneasy, friendship based relationship, an
easy come- easy- go" kind of experiencewith nothing to really come to grips with.A lot of trines in
marriage can imply that they fell in love with an inner image of the perfect partner, - romantic
Neptunian stuff. It is quite possible that they driftout of love but since they are quite comfortable, they
accept the status quo. A fewsquares and oppositions are needed to make it more dynamic. The comfort
zone inthe relationship is where the trines are - here the whole relationship can become socomplacent,
too much comfort, fat and lazy, unmotivated. Where there are trines iswhere the solace is but there's
silence in too many trines. Trines are a release
mechanism; there is no resistance. When the trines support hard aspects in asecondary position, they
are light and comforting and healing. Even when they predominate, provided there are some good solid
'hard' aspects, to motivate, trinesare beneficial. Such relationships often do well in a social or material
way so arereflected in a life of material comfort and social ease.
Several Sextiles
When the grid shows a predominant number of sextiles, you have a grid thatvibrates to a 6th
'harmonic'. The 6th harmonic relates to the idea of 'helping' - itoccurs in a child's sixth year, when
those little people first begin to want to assist inchores, and be rewarded by a parent. The seeds of
relationship are set at this time.Someone who seeks out a sextile kind of energy is often seeking
confirmation fromthe 'inner parent' about his or her usefulness. A predominance of sextiles, is probably
the least harmful, it tells you the relationship 'works' because each aidsthe other and also rewards the
other. It may not be 'passionate' but there is an innateacceptance of the others 'flaws' and a capacity to
work in tandem, with roles notalways defined but shared. The sextile brings a practical and balanced
attitude, arealistic ease, because there is an understanding of and an awareness of tension,and a
constructive, creative energy that pre-empts and often turns tensions to goodeffect. They are not the
most exciting aspects but liking and respect come with thisaspect. It enables one to live in the real
world in which the other also lives. Itimplies that any difficulties find a working solution, a compromise
and that there isa 'support' framework in place. The negative face of the sextile is that compromisecan
also mean one becomes subservient to the other, self effacing and taking too passive a stance. So
there is also the risk of one becoming martyred to the cause of the other - until some transit comes
along that triggers a rebellion! Even so, therecan be a resolution.
The "Minor" Aspects
Fortunately you're unlikely to find predominance because of the orb used for theso-called "Minor"
aspects.

The Semisquare implies discontent

It can illustrate a lack of trust in the relationship. There is an unwillingness to goall the way to a
full blown aspects, and irritation and conflict is rarely addressed, but they seem to get half way but
then back off.When semi-squares are triggered, old habits and irritations loom large and take
onridiculous proportions. What might seem a cute little habit when you are in theglister of first love
becomes the straw that can break the camels back in 20 year'stime and the issues just simmer along
until a transit triggers them. Apparently'good' relationship can then break under the strain of what
might seem to others atrivial issue.
The Sesquisquare implies ongoing but unrecognised irritants
This is a bit like the semi square except there might be a bit more chance of facingit. Indeed it is faced
so many times as a dynamic in the relationship that iteventually becomes a reliable source of conflict in
what might otherwise be a dullexistence. It takes irritation and makes it full blown frustration.It can
however, lead to confronting and issue at least, usually after a long period.But residual animosity tends
to remain.
The Quincunx is a very difficult aspect
There are charts where this takes dominance and they are toxic relationships.Generally said to be the
areas where adjustments have to be made, if one has toadjust to the point of losing focus then it is a
sinister aspect.The Quincunx "swings" between a trine and opposition. There is a constantshifting of
energy that can be wearing.This aspect is the stuff of the victim / perpetrator and one hopes not to find
itexcept in small numbers. Too many and the chances of the relationship beinghealthy are remote.It
occurs commonly in charts where one partner is alcoholic, sick, or escapesresponsibility through
infidelity or illness and the other takes the strain. Thequincunx erodes the relationship. It is like
standing talking to someone and theydon't make eye contact, their eyes flick from left to right but
never directly at you,

you're not even sure they are listening and then you start to feel uneasy,

edgy anduptight. If you've experienced that you understand how disconcerting it can be.Well, imagine
that as a constant dynamic in a relationship, an uneasy, fearfulfeeling. It's enough to erode any
relationship. It's almost like developing an allergyto each other, and can in fact give real physical
symptoms.Hypochondria is part of this dynamic, the ultimate cop out, the 'escape intosickness'
syndrome and you wonder who is the perpetrator and who is the victim.You never really know except
that someone is carrying the load. Adjustmentimplies change and too many adjustments imply
complete change.A few quincunxes might be fruitful for individual personal change to accommodatethe
needs of another, but too many are too demanding.
The Quintile is the creative, willing risk taking, playful and joyful dimension of the
relationship
If you find these there is joy to be found in the relationship. It might be throughchildren, through work
or just simply enjoyment of each other and a commoninvolvement with arts, music etc. These people
are prepared to take a few chances,and will tend to lay it all on the line to each other so there is
indwelling honesty.This is where the love affair can continue into old age. It is a solar kind of energyand
if it's between personal planets, they each shine and bask in each other's glow.It occurs in partnerships
in artistic fields. Individually they may be mediocre buttogether they're dynamite. They bounce off each
other, feed each other, inspire andresonate off each other. The vibration is wonderful. It brings the facet
of playfulness to the relationship, a childlike quality that means there is an area,which is fun.So, of the

minor aspects you can't do better than a quintile. It's the Best Friendenergy that can keep a
relationship alive and vital. But it goes a little further because it empowers the individuals to be
creative and fruitful within therelationship.
The Septile carries both spiritual overtones and shadow undertones
A few septiles imply spiritual bonding. There is rapport at a mental level; oneintuits the thoughts
of the other. There is a psychic link, a reading of minds anduniting of thoughts that is almost
telepathic.However, if there's too much mental or psychic linking it can become intrusive.One might not
want the other to tune in to their thoughts! Too many septiles canintrude in a sinister way and creates
an environment whereby shadows come out to play.
The Novile implies the search for perfection
It illustrates what one might expect or hope for in the relationship and may or may not find. Noviles in a
Synastry highlight areas where there is a possibility of 'trapsetting' dynamics because of preconditioned
expectations.Like the Septile it operates like an unconscious harmonic vibration and may wellhave a lot
to do with childhood expectations. You fall in love with an idea(l).Archetype meets archetype - the
handsome prince and princess swoon! Thenreality strikes and in reality things are not as expected. It
can be wonderful whensomeone measures up to the ideal and creates an exchange whereby there is a
senseof dreams coming true. But this aspect can also promote an environment of testingand trap
setting.Too many of these and partners are constantly setting the other up for failure. Evenwhen they
pass a test, there's another around the corner!
***
In a general sense, the main aspects plus a few of the main 'minor' one should givea chart with enough
space for energy to move. When you use the Synastry grid, itdoesn't need to be picked to pieces and
examined through specific individualaspects unless there is an issue. Many of these issues will arise
through contacts bytransit or progression to one of the partner's natal planets and constellate
andemerge, through the dynamics of the energy contacts in the relationship. Theoverview, the
individual natal charts, and aspects involved in the 'hot spot' that isfocussed by transits and
progressions give a clear picture of issues and enablecreative dialogue and hopefully, resolution.