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Debating Gender Differences

Debating Gender Differences in Jealousy

Shanae K Tanner
Social Psychology
Salt Lake Community College

Debating Gender Differences

The challenge of gender differences in jealousy is trying to come to a consensus on which
hypothesis is true. On one hand there is the evolutionary hypothesis: women will be more upset
if a man emotionally cheats on her, and a man will be more upset if a woman falls in love with
another. The reasons for this is because, women at a higher rate believe if a man is emotionally
attached or in love with another than he also having sex, this means there is a possibility she
could lose the aid of the male in the raising of their children. Men at a higher rate believe that
women only have sex if they are emotionally attached, this is bothersome to men, simply for the
reason that if their partner is cheating, the offspring may not be his, therefore his genes wont be
passed on, and he may end up taking care of a child that isnt his. There is also the double-shot
hypothesis (Buss, Larsen, and Westen p.373) or another name for this would be logical belief
hypothesis (Harris and Christenfeld p.378) these hypotheses are based off of a belief system
where men and women believe sex and emotional attachment go hand in hand; they are not
independent of each other, therefore if one commits sexual infidelity they are also committing
emotional infidelity and vice versa, because they are one and the same.
Evolutionary Theory
Bram P. Buunk, Alois Angleitner, Viktor Oubaid, and David M. Buss, all decided they
wanted to find out which was stronger, among men and women, sexual or emotional jealousy.
They got to work managing studies in the Netherlands, Germany, and the United States. The
results they received were based off of questionnaires given to a total of 115 men and 109
women in the U.S, 100 men and 100 women in Germany, 102 men and 105 women in the
Netherlands (Buunk, Angleitner, Oubaid, and Buss p.360-362). Their findings indicated that
women reported more distress when it came to emotional infidelity and men reported more
distress when it came to sexual infidelity. Across the board, American men are equally divided

Debating Gender Differences

on which form of infidelity is more distressing (Harris and Christenfeld p.378) males sex 47
love 53, sex implies love 3.43 love implies sex 3.32 (Harris and Christenfeld p.365). There were
some variances shown in Sex differences between countries, the largest difference was in the
United States. Both Germany and the Netherlands were moderate, this was a little surprising
considering the Netherlands seem to pride themselves on more equality between sexes than any
other culture.
Why would a woman get so upset over emotional infidelity, and a man over sexual
infidelity? Evolutionary theory, Emotional involvement and sexual infidelity are clearly
correlated events in everyday life, and hence both sexes are predicted to be attuned to both
sources of strategic interference (Buss, Larsen, Westen p.373). or in other words a woman
doesnt want to lose her mate, the father of her children, the one whom supplies her with
resources. A male wants to insure the offspring of his mate is biologically his, he doesnt want to
be working to take care of a child that isnt biologically his.
Double-Shot Hypothesis
Like evolutionary theory, double-shot hypothesis agrees with the findings that women
are more likely to be jealous over emotional infidelity over sexual infidelity, and men are more
likely to be jealous over sexual infidelity rather than emotional infidelity. What double-shot
hypothesis doesnt necessarily agree with is why men and women have their preferences of
which is worse. This hypothesis, believes that women are more likely to be jealous of emotional
infidelity because men dont have to have an emotional connection to a woman to have sex. If a
man has an emotional connection to a woman there is a higher chance that he is both having a
sexual relationship as well as an emotional relationship. Men think that women wont have
sexual relations unless they are emotionally attached or in love, so if a female is having a sexual

Debating Gender Differences

relationship she is emotionally involved as well. DeSteno and Salovey mention in their article it
is troubling that selecting sexual infidelity as more distressing may not be the species-typical
response of men (DE Steno, Salovey p.376). There was a preconceived idea of how both men
and women would respond to the questions as either sexual or emotional.
What about the idea of choosing both? The whole point of the double-shot is that the subjects
are picking one over the other because they consider the choice to be one and the same. The
other four articles all argue with the evolutionary theory on the premise that there are a group of
people that believe you cant have one without the other. If one is sexually cheating they are also
emotionally cheating, and vice versa. DE Steno, Salovey, Harris, and Christenfeld were all able
to replicate the original study, they were not having a problem with the evidence, they were
having a problem with what Buunk, Angleitner, Oubaid, and Buss, were claiming the evidence
verified. Perhaps there is a cultural pressure to find emotional infidelity more distressing,
lowering the percentage of men indicating sexual infidelity as more troublesome (DeSteno and
Salovey p.376).
Only one hypothesis was given from the original study, as to why men and women felt as
they did about sexual and emotional infidelity. Why was there only one original option, why
wasnt there another possibility given? I believe the evolutionary theory makes complete and
total sense as to why women chose at a higher rate emotional infidelity and men chose sexual
infidelity. If I was a male, I wouldnt necessarily want to be tricked into raising a child that
wasnt biologically mine. Being a female, I know that I dont want my mate running off with
someone else. I also know that double-shot hypothesis makes a lot of sense to me as well. Not
all men are sexually active without being in love. There are men that want to be emotionally
connected before intimacy. Jealousy is a multifaceted phenomenon (DeSteno and Salovey

Debating Gender Differences

p.372), humans have every right to think that sexual infidelity doesnt exist without emotional
infidelity.
I noticed something missing from the articles, the discussion of oxytocin and vasopressin,
the pair-bonding hormones. This topic may have been left out because it would complicate what
was being discussed, or it would have created a whole new topic or problem, but I honestly
believe that this plays a very big role in sexual relationships. These hormones have been said to
create bonding, and because of this I cant see how people can say that men or women can have
sexual relations and not be emotionally involved. I think women understand this thought process,
that is why I believe they get so upset and believe sexual and emotional infidelity are one and the
same.
Anyone can decide to go out and conduct studies by asking questions, but that doesnt
mean that people are going to answer them truthfully. Even if the survey is anonymous you run
the risk of both men and women answering the questions based on gender bias. Not to mention
the questions that were asked on this survey were quite descriptive, so much so that in many
cases it would have been completely hypothetical. One can ask a question hypothetically, but one
would then receive a hypothetical answer. People do not know the true answer to a question
unless they have been in the situation or are currently going through the situation. In this specific
argument, I side with both evolution and cognitive. Each side has valid points, neither of which
shuts down the other. I honestly dont believe there are that many people out in the world that go
through life without attaching to others they have been intimate with. I believe they choose to
pretend they are not emotionally attached.

Debating Gender Differences

Works Cited
Buss, D.M., & Larsen, R.J. (1996). SEX DIFFERENCES IN HEALOUSY: Not Forgotten, and
Not Explained by Alternative Hypotheses. Psychological Science (Sage Publications Inc.), 7(6),
373-375
Buunk, B.P., & Angleitner, A. (1996). SEX DIFFERENCES IN JEALOUSY IN
EVOLUTIONARY AND CULTURAL PERSPECTIVE:

Tests From the Netherlands,

Germany, and the United States. Psychological Science (Sage Publications Inc.), 7(6), 359-363
DeSteno, D.A., & Salovey, P. (1996). EVOLUTIONARY ORIGINS OF SEX DIFFERENCES
IN JEALOUSY? Questioning the Fitness of the Model. Psychological Science (Sage
Publications Inc.), 7(6), 367-372
DeSteno, D.A., & Salovey, P. (1996). GENES, JEALOUSY, AND THE REPLICATION OF
MISSPECIFIED MODELS. Psychological Science (Sage Publications Inc.), 7(6), 376-377
Harris, C. R., & Christenfeld, N. (1996). GENDER, JEALOUSY, AND REASON. Psychological
Science (Sage Publications Inc.), 7(6), 366-364
Harris, C. R., & Christenfeld, N. (1996). JEALOUSY AND RATIONAL RESPONSES TO
INFIDELITY ACROSS GENDER AND CULTURE. Psychological Science (Sage Publications
Inc.), 7(6), 378-379