Cards Against Humanity is

available under a Creative

Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0
license. That means you
can use and remix the
game for free, but you
cant sell it.
For more information:
cardsagainsthumanity.com
and
creativecommons.org/
licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/

During his midlife

crisis, my dad got
really into
_______.

____ would be
woefully
incomplete
without ____.

PICK

This is your
captain speaking.
Fasten your
seatbelts and
prepare for ____.

My new favorite
porn star is Joey
"____" McGee.

Before I run for

president, I must
destroy all
evidence of my
involvement with
____.

The Five Stages

of Grief: denial,
anger, bargaining,
____, and
acceptance.

My mom freaked
out when she
looked at my
browser history
and found
____.com/____.

In his newest and

most difficult
stunt, David
Blaine must
escape from ____.

PICK

I went from
_______ to
_______, all
thanks to
_______.
DRAW

PICK

If God didn't want

us to enjoy ____,
he wouldn't have
given us ____.

Members of New
York's social elite
are paying
thousands of
dollars just to
experience ____.

This month's
Cosmo: Spice
up your sex life
by bringing ____
into the
bedroom.

Little Miss
Muffet, Sat on a
Tuffet, Eating
her curds and
____.

My country, 'tis
of thee, sweet
land of ____.

After months of
debate, the Occupy
Wall Street General
Assembly could
only agree on
More ____!

I spent my whole
life working
Toward ____,
only to have it
ruined by ____.
PICK

Next time on Dr.

Phil: How to talk
to your child
about ____.

Only two things in

life are certain:
death and ____.

Everyone down
on the ground!
We don't want
to hurt anyone.
We're just here for
____.

The healing
process began
when I joined a
support group
for victims of
____.

The votes are in,

and the new high
school mascot is
____.

Charades was
ruined for me
forever when my
mom had to act
out ____.

Tonight on 20/20:
What you don't
know about ____
could kill you.

Before ____, all

we had was
____.

PICK

You haven't truly

lived until you've
Experienced ____
and ____ at the
same time.
PICK

After blacking out

during New Year's
Eve, I was awoken
by ____.

Every Christmas
my uncle gets
drunk and tells
the story about
____.

Jesus is ____.

On the third day

of Christmas, my
true love game to
me: three French
hens, two turtle
doves, and ____.

Wake up, America.

Christmas is
under attack by
secular liberals
and their ____.

What keeps me
warm during the
cold, cold winter?

This holiday
season, Tim Allen
must overcome
his fear of ____
to save
Christmas.

A bigger, blacker
dick.

The mere concept

of Applebee's.

A sad fat dragon

with no friends.

Catastrophic
Urethral Trauma.

Hillary Clinton's
death stare.

Existing.

A pinata full
of scorpions.

Mooing.

Swiftly achieving
orgasm.

Daddy's belt.

Double
penetration.

Weapons-grade
plutonium.

Some really
fucked-up shit.

Subduing a
grizzly bear and
making her your
wife.

Rising from
the grave.

The mixing of
the races.

Taking a man's eyes

and balls out and
putting his eyes
where his balls go
and then his balls
in the eye holes.

Scrotal frostbite.

All of this blood.

Loki, the
trickster god.

Whining like a
little bitch.

Pumping out a
baby every nine
months.

Tongue.

Finding Waldo.

Upgrading
homeless
people to mobile
hotspots.

Wearing an
octopus for
a hat.

An unhinged
ferris wheel
rolling toward
the sea.

Living in a
trashcan.

The corporations.

A magic hippie
love cloud.

Fuck Mountain.

Survivor's guilt.

Me.

Getting hilariously
gang-banged
by the Blue
Man Group.

Jeff Goldblum.

Making a friend.

A soulful rendition
of Ol' Man River.

Intimacy problems.

A sweaty,
panting leather
daddy.

Spring break!

Being awesome
at sex.

Dining with
cardboard
cutouts of the
cast of Friends.

Another shot
of morphine.

Beefin' over turf.

A squadron of
moles wearing
aviator goggles.

Bullshit.

The Google.

Pretty Pretty
Princess
Dress-Up
Board Game.

The new
Radiohead
album.

An army of
skeletons.

A man in yoga
pants with a
ponytail and
feather earrings.

Mild autism.

Nunchuck moves.

Whipping a
disobedient slave.

An ether-soaked
rag.

A sweet
spaceship.

A 55-gallon
drum of lube.

Special musical
guest, Cher.

The human body.

Boris the Soviet

Love Hammer.

The grey nutrient

broth that
sustains Mitt
Romney.

Tiny nipples.

Power.

Oncoming Traffic.

A dollop of
sour cream.

A slightly shittier
parallel universe.

My first kill.

Graphic
violence, adult
language and
some sexual
content.

Fetal alcohol
syndrome.

The day the

birds attacked.

One Ring to
rule them all.

Grandpa's ashes.

Basic human
decency.

A Burmese
tiger pit.

Death by
Steven Seagal.

Elf cum.

Gift-wrapping
a live hamster.

A Hungry-Man
Frozen
Christmas
Dinner for One.

Whatever
Kwanzaa is
supposed to
be about.

Krampus, the
Austrian
Christmas
Monster.

Several
intertwining
love stories
featuring Hugh
Grant.

Clearing a
bloody path
through Walmart
with a scimitar.

Another shitty
year.

Mall Santa.

Santa's heavy
sack.

My hot cousin.

A Christmas
stocking full
of coleslaw.

Space Jam
on VHS.

Immaculate
conception.

A visually
arresting
turtleneck.

A toxic family
environment.

Socks.

Fucking up
Silent Night
in front of 300
parents.

Taking down
Santa with a
surface-to-air
missiles.

The tiny
calloused hands
of the Chinese
children that
made this card.

The Star Wars

Holiday Special.

Pretending to
be happy.

Eating an
entire snowman.