Essay Marking Report : Paper 2 Section C

Student: Nandiigka
ID: dfdteacher@gmail.com

1
On the way home, as usual, Adele was walking on her way, she saw a wallet.

She picked the wallet because she was curious what was inside.
She went back home and told her mother about the wallet. She decided to return

it to the owner of wallet. So, they want to go and find the owner of the purse.

Then, when Adele saw a man passing by, she asked whether it was his and he
smiled in appreciation. He was lucky that she found it.

He gave her a present and praised her for her honest. She was delighted. It pays
to be kind.

Errors & Corrections

1. ideas : On the way home, as usual, Adele was walking on her way ; the idea seems
repeated or rather confusing.
Recommended Correction
As usual, Adele was on the way home alone when she abrupt saw a wallet on the road.
2. Vocabulary : pick up = mengambil
pick the fruit = memetik x
3. grammar : curious about what was inside
curious what was inside x
4. Ideas: the sentence does not give a clear explanation;
Recommended Correction
So they went back to the spot where she had picked up the wallet.
5.

Sentence Construction:
(Then, when Adele saw a man passing by, she asked whether it was his and he smiled in
appreciation) The sentence contains three ideas and I would suggest to break it up for better clarity.
Recommended Correction
Then, when Adele saw a man passing by, she quickly asked him if the wallet belonged to him. To her
surprise, the man smiled in appreciation.

6. vocabulary :
honest- kejujuran
honesty - kejujuran
7Ideas: the ideas will be better if we can link them up.
Recommended Correction
She was delighted as she finally understood what it means by it pays to be kind.

Marking guidelines
SP Spelling
G- Grammar
SC- Sentence
Construction
I ideas or points
V- Vocabulary
L- Language
T- Tense

14-16
Comments:
The Year 5 student has shown fairly good language structure in her writing but she also shows her lack of
confidence in the use of correct vocabulary, including phrasal verbs and prepositions following certain
adjectives.
I see the need to groom her creativity and lead her to be more descriptive with her writing. Some details
can be more vivid.
For instance,
She saw a frowning man passing by.
Marked by: Sir Andrew Ng
Date: 8th Aug 2016
To sum this up, she has to really improve the skill in developing the storyline.

Marked by: Andrew Ng