UF/IFAS Leadership Development: Managing Conflict Creatively

FCS9065
UF/IFAS Leadership Development: Managing Conflict

Creatively1
Elizabeth Bolton and Muthusami Kumaran2
Recommendations for Leader

Training
Prepare to teach this lesson by reading and familiarizing
yourself with the objectives, materials, handouts, and
activities/exercises.
Begin preparation several days in advance in order to
secure whatever additional resources you need to make
the lesson a local learning experience.
Extension agents. They were designed for training agents

and officers and not for general distribution to the public.
Handouts for audience use are labeled and printed on white
paper. These may be duplicated for use during class.
Each lesson is designed for a workshop approximately
two hours long. Use your judgement on shortening or
expanding various parts according to the needs of your
participants and availability of time.
Plan a learning environment with care so that the

surroundings contribute to the achievement of the
objectives.
Objectives
Begin on time, and end on time. Schedule a break at

about halfway through the lesson.
2. To identify methods for handling conflict
With each lesson after the first one, ask participants what
they did as a result of the previous lesson. Record these!
3. To become familiar with techniques for creatively managing conflict situations
Introduce each lesson with an overview of how it fits into

the overall major leadership development program.
Lesson Outline
End each lesson with a summary and restatement of

objectives. Explain what the participants are expected to
do with the lesson after they leave.
Heighten anticipation for the next lesson by sharing a
brief description of it, but be cautious not to give too
much away.
The IFAS Leadership Development Packet of eleven
modules was developed for use by Florida Cooperative
1. To understand conflict and its patterns
Introduction and overview of objectives (10 minutes)

What is Conflict?
Group exercise and lecture (20 minutes)
The Conflict Cycle
Conflict Resolution Activity
1. This document is FCS9065, one of a series of the Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, UF/IFAS Extension. Original publication date
September 1986. Revised January 2009 and June 2015. Visit the EDIS website at http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu.
2. Elizabeth Bolton, professor emerita; and Muthusami Kumaran, assistant professor; Department of Family, Youth and Community Sciences, UF/IFAS
Extension, Gainesville, 32611.
The Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences (IFAS) is an Equal Opportunity Institution authorized to provide research, educational information and other services
only to individuals and institutions that function with non-discrimination with respect to race, creed, color, religion, age, disability, sex, sexual orientation, marital status,
national origin, political opinions or affiliations. For more information on obtaining other UF/IFAS Extension publications, contact your countys UF/IFAS Extension office.
U.S. Department of Agriculture, UF/IFAS Extension Service, University of Florida, IFAS, Florida A & M University Cooperative Extension Program, and Boards of County
Commissioners Cooperating. Nick T. Place, dean for UF/IFAS Extension.
Group exercise and lecture (30 minutes)

Conflict Management Style Survey
Which Method Do You Use to Handle Conflict?
Benefits of Self-Analysis and Learning
Break (5 minutes)
Application of concepts (40 minutes)
The I Message
Role Reversal
and need not be shared. After everyone has filled out the
form, have him or her score it individually. (See Table 1 for
survey and Table 2 for the scoring sheet.)
Review the four categories on the score sheet using
Remind people that they do not have to share their answers
or scores, but general discussion concerning the methods
used in dealing with conflict is helpful to everyone. Use
open-ended questions to promote discussion of insights,
self-perception, or increased awareness, i.e.:
Conflict Management
What did you find out about yourself when you filled out
this survey?
Summary and Evaluation (15 minutes)
What did you like and dislike about taking the survey?
Conflict in Perspective
Did your scores reflect how you think you handle conflict
or were they different?
Total time 2 hours
Lesson PlanManaging Conflict

Creatively
Step 110 minutes
Use What is Conflict? as background for introductory
lecture. Emphasize the characteristics of conflict. Write
bolded words on chalkboard for emphasis.
Review the objectives of this lesson. Write them on the
chalkboard.
Step 220 minutes

Discuss each part of The Conflict Cycle. Use diagram as
overhead or visual display.
Select one of the letter examples from the Conflict Resolution Activity. Make copies to hand out to group members.
Have the group break into small groups of four or five
people. Give each small group a copy and have them
identify the conflict cycle that is described. They do not
have to solve the problem. They should identify who is
having the conflict and what stage the conflict is in. Give
them a short time to discuss it in the small group and then
have each group give a report to the whole group. Discuss if
there is agreement among the small groups on the analysis
of the cycle. Use other hypothetical situations also. Be sure
to steer clear of situations that can be identified as local.
Step 330 minutes

Hand out the Conflict Management Style Survey. Follow
instructions. Let everyone know that it is for personal use
UF/IFAS Leadership Development: Managing Conflict Creatively
What were some examples of where you thought about

doing one thing but did something else? What was the
outcome?
Explain Benefits of Self-Analysis and Learning.
Step 440 minutes

There are many approaches to handling conflict. This lesson
includes only three. All of them are techniques for better
communication. The skills taught in the exercises The I
Message, Role Reversal and Conflict Negotiation are helpful
in those conflict situations where the blocking difficulties
can be removed through clarity, understanding, and
mutual goodwill. Clashes that are caused by value conflicts,
incompatible goals, or other hard-to-resolve differences
may require more complex tools, longer negotiations, and
possibly a third party.
Select one of the exercises listed above. Each sheet gives
specific instructions for carrying out the exercise. Teach the
group the basic concepts and information provided on the
sheet.
Then choose one of the letters at the end of module and
apply the technique in a role play situation. This can be
done by a group of pre-selected members or volunteers
from the group.
Then repeat the process by teaching another technique
followed by another exercise based on the same role play or
a new one from another letter. Allow 10 to 15 minutes for
each exercise and use one or all three as time and interest
permit.
Instead of using one of the letters to set the stage for the
role play, have one of the members describe a current
neighborhood/community issue and apply the teaching in a
role playing situation based on that issue.
Step 515 minutes

Refer to summary remarks in Conflict in Perspective.
Restate objectives. Ask for comments.
Evaluate and adjourn.
What is Conflict?
What comes to mind when you think of the word
conflict? Conflict is a part of life. One of the reasons
people feel that conflict is bad is their belief that harmony is
normal and conflict is to be avoided. They fear the confrontation inherent in conflict and because they associate
conflict with anger, they consider it destructive. But conflict
is normal and happens continually.
A conflict issue can be large or small, interpersonal or
between community groups. It can be a situation as simple
as a parent wanting a preschooler to eat a food the child
does not want, or as complex as two countries claiming
the same territory. Whether conflict is large or small, it has
certain characteristics.
There has to be at leasttwo partiestwo or more people,
two groups, two countries, person and a group, or a
country and a group.
There has to be some kind of a struggle or threat, either
real or suspected.
There must be some interaction or interference.
The transaction can be emotional.
Each person has ways of resolving conflict. How he or she
reacts in situations when differing wills clash is learned
behavior. Many of these reactions are patterns learned as
children. The people around an individual model behavior
that can either be used or rejected. Everyone was brought
up differently, therefore styles of solving conflicts are different. Those methods of dealing with conflicts may carry over
into the way one deals with community conflicts.
Everyone develops a sense of their position in a conflict.
Early, they learn to stand firm, avoid confrontation, or try
to settle the conflict between the two parties. Ideals are held
dear. They are real and important. Other people may look
at these ideals as fantasy or useless, but individuals fight to
prove their worth.
Ideal images of oneself and the surrounding people exist.

How should the ideal mother, father, child, partner, or
friend act? What should the family or group be accomplishing? What should the city or country be doing? How does
the individual handle the difference between the ideal and
what is happening?
How people deal with conflict reflects the values they hold.
Does one believe the roles of men and women differ? What
emotions can be shown or must be hidden? What territory
should be defended? Is there an investment for being right?
Stress and conflict interact. Stress can cause conflict and can
increase it. The stress of a personal crisis, such as unemployment or a threat to personal safety, makes the situation
more emotional. A reaction is tied to a personal pattern for
handling conflict. A person anticipates the situation and has
his or her forces ready. It does not have to be a major crisis.
Even everyday stresses can cause or increase conflict.
Adapted from Managing Conflict Creatively, Family Community Leadership Project.
The Conflict Cycle

Tension DevelopmentAs the disagreement or threat
begins to develop, the various parties start taking sides. The
conflict can appear immediately or over time.
Role DilemmaPeople or groups who are involved raise
questions about what is happening, who is right, what
should be done. They try to decide if they should take
sides, and, if so, which one. (Tension development and role
dilemma often occur at the same time.)
Injustice CollectingEach party begins to gather support.
Each one categorizes the problems, justifies their position,
and thinks of revenge or ways to win.
ConfrontationThe parties meet head on and clash. If
both parties hold fast to their side, the showdown may
cause permanent barriers. Confrontation may be lessened
or avoided by one or both parties making adjustments.
AdjustmentsIf one party is weak and the other is strong,
the strong party can win by domination, but the conflict
may reappear. If parties have equal power, and neither party
decides to change, they can wage a cold war, each party
trying to weaken the other. The two parties may choose
to compromise, each gaining a little and losing a little.
The two parties can collaborate in an active participation,
which looks for a solution that takes care of both parties

needs.
give us sidewalks, and be partially paid for with federal

money.
In our society only compromise or collaboration resolves

the conflict over time. Other adjustments are, at best,
short-term solutions. If domination, cold war, or isolation is
chosen, the conflict cycle can be ongoing. See Figure 1 for a
diagram of the conflict cycle.
I would like to invite you to a meeting next Monday to talk

about this.
UNRULY DOG
Dear Neighbors,
Have you been bothered by that noisy dog in our neighborhood? Ive been losing sleep! I work at night and must sleep
in the daytime.
The young couple next door moved in with a setter that
barks and drags his chain back and forth. He even gets
loose sometimes and tears up neighborhood gardens.
I have called the dog patrol several times, but they cannot
do anything. When they have checked, the dog was tied
up. They are only responsible for stray or loose dogs. I also
checked the noise ordinance and it is too vague in this case.
Figure 1. Adapted from Managing Conflict Creatively, Family

Community Leadership Project.
Conflict Resolution Activity

Community Problem Letters
STREET IMPROVEMENT
Dear Neighbors,
Have you noticed the wear and tear on all our cars? We
know that the little bit of grading on our street is not
enough to take care of the chuckholes and mud puddles.
In the past, we have tried to form an improvement district
for our streets, but people have opposed it because of the
cost.
Now there are revenue-sharing funds available to help with
half the cost. We have to agree to give up some of our front
yards, though. Between three to six feet would be needed to
widen the street and put in sidewalks.
Some people have been opposed because they would have
to move fences, cut down trees, and shorten driveways.
A few are concerned about property values. Other people
favor the idea because it will improve the neighborhood,
When I have tried to talk to the young couple about the

problem, they think I am giving them a hard time. They
say they can do anything on their own property. They are at
work all day, so they really do not know about the trouble
the dog is causing.
I think this is more than just my problem. I know a couple
of you are angry about the dog running through your
gardens, and someone else is mad about the fertilizer in
the yard. I also understand a 4-Hers young rabbits were
killed when the dog ran through her yard. Also, Sams
chickens have been bothered.
Lets get together about this next Monday night. I would
like to solve this problem.
CROWDED CLASSROOMS
Dear Parent,
Have you seen how crowded the first and second grade
classrooms are at Lincoln School? A lot of parents think
the children are not getting as much individual attention as
needed in the first years of school. They say all children will
learn better, especially slow learners and those with learning disabilities, if more teachers are hired and classrooms
are acquired. As it is now, teachers are busy keeping order,
instead of having more time to teach students.
Some parents think that changing the student to teacher

ratio by hiring more teachers and needing more classrooms
means more costs and higher taxes.
Please come to the Lincoln School PTA meeting next
Monday to discuss this.
SNACK FOODS
Dear Parent,
Have you heard that the school board is going to make a decision about the kind of snack foods the vending machines
in our elementary schools will sell? Because some parents
have complained about the candy in the vending machines
at Union Elementary School, the Board has removed the
machines from all the schools in our district.
A policy for the sale of snacks on school property is probably a good way to settle this. But some parents are upset.
They think their children will leave the school to walk to
the convenience store, and that means they will be crossing
busy streets. They worry also about children being late for
class because of the electronic games at the store.
Other parents do not want snacks to be so readily available
because children have been using their lunch money to buy
candy. If snacks are sold at the school, they should at least
be nutritious food, they say.
Lets get together and talk about this at next Mondays PTA
meeting.
Which Method Do You Use to

Manage Conflict?
Most people use a variety of methods for handling conflict.
They may feel more at ease with some than others.
Aggressive/Confrontational. This is a method that uses
direct tactics. There is a strong need to control situations
and/or people. The style is directive and judgmental. The
idea is to straighten out the other person, to argue about
who is right, and to be ready to defend ideas forcibly.
Assertive/Persuasive. This position describes a readiness
to defend a stand without being pushy. The willingness to
work toward a solution through negotiation is the characteristic attitude. Verbal skills are used to bring the other
party around.
Observant/Introspective. A process of observing others
and examining oneself analytically in response to conflict
situations is typical. Other behaviors commonly include

a striving to listen, understand, and to put oneself in
the other persons place. The mood is cooperative, even
conciliatory.
Avoiding/Reactive. To be passive and withdrawing from
conflict situations is the customary manner. A person using
this method is usually accepting and patient, often suppressing strong feelings to avoid confrontation.
None of these methods is always right or always wrong.
Methods 2 and 3 above are often most productive.
Aggressive behavior usually victimizes others and tends to
make people uncooperative. Avoidance behavior usually
victimizes ones self and tends to make it difficult for others
to know there is a problem.
Benefits of Self-Analysis and

Learning
Discovering the habits used when reacting to conflict
situations gives information about how others are affected.
Once the usual style is known, a judgment as to whether it
is useful or if another method might be more appropriate
can be decided. Learning new methods for resolving
conflict provides a way to choose the style best suited to
each situation. After testing a variety of techniques, behavior can be changed to become more selective and effective.
The changes made in the behavior patterns will frequently
produce corresponding changes in the responses of others.
Discussion Questions
If you recognize the way you react in a conflict situation,
you can ask yourself the question, Is that the way I want
to respond?
If you know there are other ways that might be better in
solving the situation, will you be motivated to change?
You can change your behavior only. But if you change the
way you act, does it affect the way others react to you?
The I Message
Most of the messages sent to people about their behavior
are you messages, or messages that are directed at the
other person and have a high probability of putting them
down, making them feel guilty, making them feel their
needs are not important, and generally making them resist
change. You messages are usually orders or commands
5
(Stop doing that! Get into the car!), or blaming or namecalling statements(You are acting like a baby! You are
driving me crazy!), or statements that give solutions (You
should forget that idea. You better reconsider that plan.)
therefore placing the responsibility for behavior change on
the other person. Perhaps the worst of all you messages is
the if then threat (If you dont then I will...).
An I message, on the other hand, allows a person who
is affected by the behavior of another to express the
impact it has on him or her and at the same time leave the
responsibility for modifying the behavior with the person
who demonstrated the behavior. An I message consists of
three parts:
the specific behavior,
the feeling experienced because of the behavior, and
the tangible effect on the person affected by the behavior.
Thus, a teacher might say to a student:
When you tap on your desk with your pencil, I feel upset
because I get distracted and have difficulty teaching.
A close friend has listened to you explain a difficult

problem that you are currently facing.
An aunt keeps telling you that you are raising your
children all wrong.
Your son or daughter keeps putting off household chores.
Your husband/wife/mother/father doesnt seem interested
in helping you with an important project.
You are making your third call to the telephone company
in a week concerning an extension phone they agreed to
install one month ago.
Your best friend told someone else something that you
told her or him in confidence.
You take your car back to a mechanic for the third time
because it still is not fixed.
You and a friend are organizing a party. The friend does
not do his or her agreed upon task.
Your aunt keeps telling you how to do something you
already know how to do.
Role Reversal
A wife might say to her husband:
Number of people: Even number of participants all in pairs

or one pair in front of group
When I try to help you and you dont say anything, I feel
confused because I dont know how you feel about my help.
Minimum time: 10 minutes
In effect, the I message allows the sender to implicitly say,

I trust you to decide what change in behavior is necessary.
In this manner, I messages build relationships, but equally
importantly, they do not place the sender in the position of
enforcing new behavior, as is frequently the case with the
you message discussed above.
In order to understand and use the I message effectively,
people should be given a chance to practice. Below are
listed a few statements you might like to use. A guide that
some have found helpful in formulating an I message is:
When you (behavior), I feel (feelings) because (reason).
Fill in the blanks by practicing with these examples:
Your daughter or son consistently leaves his or her room
in shambles.
Your husband/wife/roommate refuses to share the
household chores.
A neighbor has borrowed a lawnmower and has failed to
return it.
Materials: Role-play situation

Setting: Informal relaxed atmosphere
Purpose
To help the person in one position understand the feelings
of the other person, especially those of different ages,
heights, power roles, or sexes.
Process
Set up a situation involving two sides.
Have two people role-play the situation. This can be done
with two people in front of the group, or all participants
role-playing in pairs at the same time.
Let them role-play the situation for a couple of minutes,
then call a freeze and have them change roles. It is
sometimes helpful to have the people actually change sides
physically.
Then have them discuss their reactions to being on both
sides of the conflict.
This is particularly valuable for examining a critical incident that occurs repeatedly or is expected to occur. It helps
develop a definition of acceptable behavior. It was used with
the Buffalo, New York police in examining typical dangerous street incidents. It is also useful for solving problems
in families where members feel they are not understood.
When using role-play, it is helpful to have a close approximation of size and power, such as the child standing on a
chair or the adult kneeling when playing the opposite role.
It is a way of putting yourself in another persons shoes.
Role-Play Example
The tenant in a home you own reported to you that the
heater seemed to be going out and said he had been cold
the night before. You agree to check it, but find it is apparently working fine. When the tenant returns home from
work around midnight, he again finds the heat not working
and the house very cold. He assumes you either did not
check it or did not bother to have it repaired. He comes
to your house, banging on the door and yelling for you to
open up. You know that he has become violent in the past
when angry or drunk, and it is obvious now that he is very
angry. You know he deserves an explanation.
Adapted from Resource Manual for a Living Revolution
by Coover, Deacon, Esser, and Moore, New Society Press,
1977.
Conflict Negotiation
Number of people: 2 (3 if third party facilitator used)
Minimum time: depends on degree of conflict
Materials: chairs
Setting: informal relaxed atmosphere, neutral to each
individual
Purpose
This exercise is designed to help two individuals resolve
a particular disagreement or conflict. In order for this
exercise to work both individuals must wish to have some
sort of resolution to the situation.
Process
3. Description of the ideal situation, i.e., What Id like to

see is...
4. Description of current feelings, i.e., The way I feel about
this situation is...
5. Description of self-intention, i.e., What Im willing to
do to create what I want is...
6. Person B then paraphrases what Person A has said. If the
paraphrase is accepted as accurate by Person A, Person B
then moves through the same sequence of statements and
Person A paraphrases.
7. Person A then asks, Do we have a resolution? If the
answer is no, Person A begins the sequence again. If the
answer is yes both parties review their agreements.
NOTE: It may be helpful to have a third person present to
facilitate the statement sequence and paraphrasing process.
Alternate Procedure
This exercise may be modified for use with groups by
having a representative engage in the experience and seek
confirmation from the people they represent as to whether
the conflict is resolved.
Discussion Questions
What did you learn from this exercise?
What (or who) helped most in resolving this conflict?
Will you use this exercise in future conflict situations?
Conflict in Perspective
While conflict may seem negative, it is actually a natural
event in relationships between people. It can become a
liability if it remains unresolved.
Depending on how they are handled, conflicts may have
negative or positive consequences. Compare the possible
results of unsuccessful and successful (creative) conflict
resolution.
1. Person A completes a sequence of four statements from

his or her point of view.
2. Description of the current situation, i.e., The conflict Im
having with you is... The problem as I see it is...
Results of Conflict Resolution

Unsuccessful
People feel defeated and humiliated.
The distance between the parties increases.
A climate of distrust develops.
Cooperation may decrease.
Resistance develops when teamwork is needed.
Some people leave because of the turmoil.
Successful
Better ideas are produced.
People are forced to search for new approaches.
Long-standing problems surface and are addressed.
People are forced to clarify their views.
Tension stimulates interest and creativity.
People have a chance to test their capabilities.
In itself, conflict is neither good nor bad. It is what is
done with it that makes the difference.
More effectiveness can be achieved in conflict situations
by consciously selecting behavior, instead of merely reacting based on habitual, unexamined patterns. To prepare
for managing conflict creatively, one needs to become
aware of the methods chosen when dealing with conflict
situations, and then learn new ways of handling them.
Table 1.
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE SURVEY
Instructions
Choose a single frame of reference and keep it in mind as you answer the questions. Select a real community issue you have been involved
in, such as school financing, street improvement, conflicts between livestock and stray dogs, etc. Allocate 10 points among the four alternative
answers given for each of the fifteen items below.
Example
When the people I supervise become involved in a personal conflict, I usually:
3
A. Intervene to settle the dispute.
B. Call a meeting to talk over the problem.
C. Offer help if I can.
D. Ignore the problem.

Be certain that your answers add up to 10.
1. When someone I care about is actively hostile toward me (yelling, threatening, abusive), I tend to:
A. Respond in a hostile manner.
B. Try to persuade the person to give up his or her actively hostile behavior.
C. Stay and listen as long as possible.
D. Walk away.
2. When someone who is relatively unimportant to me is actively hostile toward me (yelling, threatening, or abusive), I tend to:
A. Respond in a hostile manner.
B. Try to persuade the person to give up his or her actively hostile behavior.
C. Stay and listen as long as possible.
D. Walk away.
3. When I observe people in conflicts where anger, threats, hostility, and strong opinions are present, I tend to:
A. Become involved and take a position.
B. Attempt to mediate.
C. Observe to see what happens.
D. Leave as quickly as possible.
4. When I observe another person meeting his or her needs at my expense, I am apt to:
A. Work to do anything I can to change that person.
B. Rely on persuasion and facts when attempting to have that person change.
C. Work hard at changing how I relate to that person.
D. Accept the situation as it is.
5. When involved in an interpersonal dispute, my general pattern is to:
A. Persuade the other person to see the problem as I do.
B. Examine the issues between us as logically as possible.
C. Look hard for a workable compromise.
D. Let time take its course and let the problem work itself out.
6. The quality that I value the most in dealing with conflict would be:
A. Emotional strength and security.
B. Intelligence.
C. Love and openness.
D. Patience.
7. Following a serious altercation with someone I care for deeply, I:
A. Strongly desire to go back and settle things my way.
B. Want to go back and work it out, whatever give-and-take is necessary.
C. Worry about it a lot but do not plan to initiate further contact.
D. Let it lie and do not plan further contact.
8. When I see serious conflict developing between two people I care about, I tend to:
A. Express my disappointment that this had to happen.
B. Attempt to persuade them to resolve their differences.
C. Watch to see what develops.
D. Leave the scene.
9. When I see serious conflict developing between two people who are relatively unimportant to me, I tend to:
A. Express my disappointment that this had to happen.
B. Attempt to persuade them to resolve their differences.
C. Watch to see what develops.
D. Leave the scene.
10. The feedback that I receive from most people about how I behave when faced with conflict and opposition indicates that I:
A. Try hard to get my way.
B. Try to work out differences cooperatively.
C. Am easy-going and take a soft or conciliatory position.
D. Usually avoid the conflict.
11. When communicating with someone with whom I am having a serious conflict, I:
A. Try to overcome the other person with my speech.
B. Talk a little bit more than I listen.
C. Am an active listener (feeding back words and feelings).
D. Am a passive listener (agreeing and apologizing).
12. When involved in an unpleasant conflict, I:
A. Use humor with the other party.
B. Make an occasional quip or joke about the situation or the relationship.
C. Relate humor only to myself.
D. Suppress all attempts at humor.
13. When someone does something that irritates me (smokes in a nonsmoking area or crowds in front of me in line), my tendency in
communicating with the offending person is to:
A. Insist that the person look me in the eye.
B. Look the person directly in the eye and maintain eye contact.
C. Maintain intermittent eye contact.
D. Avoid looking directly at the person.
A. Stand close and make physical contact.
B. Use my hands and body to illustrate my point.
C. Stand close to the person without touching him or her.
D. Stand back and keep my hands to myself.
A. Use strong, direct language and tell the person to stop.
B. Try to persuade the person to stop.
C. Talk gently and tell the person what my feelings are.
D. Say and do nothing.
Source: The 1982 Annual for Facilitators, Trainers and Consultants by J.W. Pfeiffer and L.W. Goodstein, University Associates, Inc.
10
Table 2.
Conflict Management Style SurveyScoring Sheet
Instructions: When you have completed all fifteen items, add your scores for category A, B, C and D answers, resulting in four totals. Put these
in the boxes below. Then by using the total scores in each category, fill in the bar graph below.
Totals:
Total Points
150
125
100
75
50
25
0
Category A. Aggressive/Confrontal: High scores indicate a tendency toward taking the bull by the horns and a strong need to control
situations and/or people. Those who use this style are often directive and judgmental.
Category B. Assertive/Persuasive: High scores indicate a tendency to stand up for oneself without being pushy, a pro-active approach to
conflict, and a willingness to collaborate. People who use this style depend heavily on their verbal skills.
Category C. Observant/Introspective: High scores indicate a tendency to observe others and examine oneself analytically in response to
conflict situations as well as a need to adopt counseling and listening modes of behavior. Those who use this style are likely to be cooperative,
even conciliatory.
Category D. Avoiding/Reactive: High scores indicate a tendency toward passivity or withdrawal in conflict situations, and a need to avoid
confrontations. Those who use this style are usually accepting and patient, often suppressing their strong feelings.
Now total your scores for Categories A and B and Categories C and D.
Category A + Category B =
Category C + Category D =
If Score 1 is significantly higher than Score 2 (25 points or more), it may indicate a tendency toward aggressive/assertive conflict management.
A significantly higher Score 2 signals a more conciliatory approach.
Source: The 1982 Annual for Facilitators, Trainers and Consultants by J.W. Pfeiffer and L.W. Goodstein, University Associates, Inc.
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UF/IFAS Leadership Development: Managing Conflict Creatively

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