Sarah McCarthy

68 Linwood Avenue, Mt Albert, Auckland

h: +6498469828, m: 021 031 5388
e: home-on-the-highway67@hotmail.com

Personal Profile

I consider myself to be a positive and outgoing person

I am currently looking for full-time employment as a Treasurer in order to better contribute to

the Minion Stimulus Program. I can offer you proven skills in project work, as well as
commitment, energy and a real enthusiasm for subordination.

Key Skills

 Teamwork
 Fluency & understanding of many foreign languages, cultures, and speed limits
 Basic weapon handling skills
 Punctuality
 Ritualistic war chants
 Likes Pat Benatar
 Palm reading
 Scathing comments
 Professionalism
 Juggling
 Dressing up fruit
 Able to play Scrabble to a high standard in a variety of languages
 Base Jumping
 Honesty

Employment Summary

Erminio's Cobble Shoppe Feb 03 – Nov 04

Cobbler's Apprentice

Upon leaving university, I began a two-year apprenticeship under an elderly, well-known

cobbler specializing in shoes for dolphins in Italy. As the worldwide leading supplier of dolphin
shoes, we supplied all the major consumers; Bottle-Nose Dolphins, Spinner Dolphins and
Miami Dolphins. Only three months before my apprenticeship was complete, however, the
project funding was cut due to a lack of demand for the product, and Erminio and I were forced
to abandon our advances in the field. Because of this, I unfortunately have no official
qualification in Dolphin Cobbling.

Self-Employed Dec 04 – Apr 05

Pick-pocket
After the failure of the Shoemaker's Apprenticeship, I wasn't yet ready or able to step into a
new career, so I spent five months working in the Greater London area as a pick-pocket. This
work greatly improved my skills in dealing with the general public, as well as helping me
acquire essential skills in cash handling, attention-to-detail, and the ability to work
unsupervised.

Guam Subtle Dancing League Apr 05 – Oct 07

Team Coach
In April 2005, I was offered a job in Guam, coaching the national Subtle Dancing league with a
view to competing in the 2006 Winter Olympics. Subtle Dancing, for those unaware, is a sport
which combines timing, awareness, grace, speed, and LSD. The objective is for team mates to
spread around a highly populated area and dance subtly for as long and as daringly as
possible before someone notices. This job greatly improved my leadership skills. Although we
were the undefeated Subtle Dancing League in Guam for three seasons, we were
unfortunately denied a place at the olympic games.

Various Emplyors/Freelance Nov 07 – Feb 08

Drug Mule
A short stint as a drug mule allowed me to regain some revenue and professional confidence
which I lost after the disappointing result in Guam. Though not long in employment, I did obtain
invaluable knowledge of public relations and the importance of job committment.

Doris Louise Draycott Mar 08 – Present

Unspecified Employment
Needing a place to lie low for a few months, I was fortunate enough to be offered free board by
an elderly woman at her house in Maine, by managing to convince her that I was a figment of
her imagination. My previous skills gained in pickpocketing have been allowing me to make
this a profitable venture.

Education Summary

Leeds University
West Yorkshire, England Feb 96 – Oct 99
MMedSc
Masters Degree in Medical Physics

Korskofski School of Dance & Elephant Training

Sicily, Italy Mar 00 – Nov 02
National Diploma of Interpretive Dance

Referees

Jimmy the Knife

Regional Manager
Alfredo & Sons
348 Great North Road
London