Professional Documents
Culture Documents
UPnewsljune 06
UPnewsljune 06
UPnewsljune 06
A
other 10.’ God agreed. On the second day,
s I have said before, I relate to blonde God created the monkey. God said,
jokes, because I am a dishwater blonde ‘Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make
(or once was) and can really relate to some them laugh. I’ll give you a 20 year life span.’
dumb things people do, because I am an The monkey said, ‘How boring –monkey
absolute master at doing dumb and klutzy tricks for 20 years. I don’t think so. Dog
things (as people who know me can attest gave you back 10, so that’s what I’ll do, too,
to). “THE BLONDE YEAR IN REVIEW: OK?’ And God agreed. On the third day
January: Took her God created the cow. God said, ‘You must
new scarf back to the go to the field with the farmer all day long
store because it was and suffer under the sun, have calves and
too tight. February: give milk to support the farmer. I will give
Couldn’t work in a you a life span of 60 years.’ The cow said,
pharmacy because the bottles ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to
wouldn’t fit into the typewriter. March: live for 60 years. Let me have 20 and I’ll
Got excited when she finished a jigsaw give back the other 40.’ And God agreed
puzzle in 6 months, because the box said ‘2-4 again. On the fourth day God created man.
years.’ April: Was trapped on an escalator God said, ‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy
for hours when the power went out. May: your life, I’ll give you 20 years.’ Man said,
Couldn’t make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of ‘What? Only 20 years! Tell you what, I’ll
water won’t fit into those little packets. take my 20, and the 40 the cow gave back,
June: Couldn’t learn to water ski because and the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10
she couldn’t find a lake with a slope. July: the dog gave back; that makes 80, OK?’
after losing in a breast stroke competition ‘OK,’ God said, ‘You have a deal.’ So that is
complained to the judges that the other why the first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and
competitors were using their arms. August: enjoy ourselves; for the next 40 years we
Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying slave in the sun to support our family; for
to get into their locked car using a coat the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to
hanger, because it was starting to rain and entertain the grandchildren; and for the last
the top was down. September: When asked 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark
what the capital of California was, answered at everyone. Life has now been explained to
‘C.’ October: Gave up eating M&M’s you.”
because they were so hard to peel.
November: Baked a turkey for 4 days
3
me, and NEVER cancel my appointment in
PROCLAMATION OF FAITH His appointment book! When I fail, He lifts
6
Bob Burton (331-1028, cell;
bburton@silverdollarcity.com)
“There is therefore no condemnation to them
which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after
the flesh, but after the Spirit.” (Romans 8: 1)