ed990204.
qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 1 (1,1)
Issue 955 - Weekly
First Aid for
Nurses but
Teachers
“Cheated”
he long awaited, much tout-
T ed public sector pay increas-
es were announced on
Monday. Faced with falling morale
and recruitment among 1.3 million
professionals, the government was
under enormous pressure to take
decisive action.
Newly qualified nurses will receive
a boost of 12%, to their pay packets,
more than 4 times the rate of infla-
tion. They will now receive £14,00
p.a. However more senior nurses
have been awarded just 4.7%
A student nurse at Selly Oak
Hospital Birmingham said she was
“Very pleased. It makes the last three
years worthwhile …But there is no
incentive once you have done your
training to go higher up the grades.”
Christine Hancock, General
Secretary of the Royal College of
Nursing, agreed, saying “This award
at last starts to recognise the enor-
mous problem of nurse shortages but
4.7% alone for the majority of nurses
simply isn’t going to be enough to
keep these experienced and highly
skilled women and men in the NHS.”
The government took the opposite
approach to deal with lack of experi-
ence within the teaching profession.
Primary school head teachers will get
9% more pay, compared to 3.5% more
for class teachers. This has caused
anger from teaching unions, saying it
is performance related pay by the
backdoor. Kathy Brimer an experi-
enced teacher said “You are always
being asked to raise standards, it
would be nice if that were recognised.”
News & Letters 1/2 n Union 3&4 n Music 5/6 n ELECTION SPECIAL - 12 PAGE PULL OUT
Entertainments Guide 7 . n Notices 8 n Personals & Crossword 9 n Films 10 n Surrey Pride 11/12
Prime Minister Tony Blair said the
pay awards were part of “the govern-
ment’s prudent and disciplined
approach to public spending and its
commitment to delivering high-qual-
ity public services and low inflation”.
Meanwhile university lecturers are
campaigning for a 10% pay rise.
They are not considered by the pub-
lic spending review body, which
advises the government on wage
hikes such as those above.
The Association for University
Teachers (AUT) says that its mem-
bers have been “systematically cheat-
ed and defrauded” by their pay sys-
tem. David Triesman General
Secretary of AUT threatened strike
action if there was not an independent
review of lecturers pay. A sustained
strike could severely affect exams
and clearing in the summer.
AUT members make up around
40% of academic staff at the
Univerity Of Surrey. Dr.Philip
Whitney, Surrey’s AUT representa-
tive backed up claims that wages for
public sector workers had increased
six and a half times faster than for
university lecturers. He said that
their pay increases have barely kept
up with inflation since 1972.
However he doubted that strike
action would actually take place.
More likely, he felt that if the lec-
turers pay claim is not met, then
there will less enthousiasm from
staff. There will be a “decreasing
willingness to keep British univer-
siteis at the peak of international
excellence.” he said.
Thursday February 4th 1999
The Dirty Dozen
The Sabbatical Candidates gear up for the February elections.
Election Despite a widespread advertising
Special campaign, Union officials were
Inside slightly disappointed that the
three remaining Sabbatical posts
attracted just one candidate
each.
Union President
Harriet Sims
thanked all
the candi-
dates for stand-
ing. She reminded
them that, even though
the number of candidates
was one down on the previous
year, twelve candidates would
ominations for have been exceptional just two
N
the 199/2000 years ago.
Sabbatical elections
closed last Friday afternoon. Six candidates also put their
Twelve good men (and women) names forward for election to the
and true, have stepped forward NUS Conference in March. The
to subject themselves to the winning candidates will represent
rigours of a 3 week campaign. the students of Surrey University
Following the successful consti- at the annual Blackpool event.
tutional amendment earlier this The six candidates are also cam-
academic year, there are now six paigning to be elected leader of
sabbatical positions to be filled. the delegation sent to Conference.
The traditionally popular posts of Voting takes place throughout
President and Sports Officers are week 5 (15th - 19th February).
to be contested by three people as Polling booths can be found at
is the newly adapted different sites on different days
Communications and Marketing with all the main University sites
post. being covered.
Returning Officer Celine
Gordine-Wright is hoping for an
increase in the amount of votes
cast. Last year 1,200 people
voted representing over 10% of
Surrey Students. This year a con-
certed effort has been made to
involve placement students, with
over 500 ballot papers being sent
throughout the UK, across
Europe and as far afield as The
United States.
The elections also include our bi-
annual NUS affiliation referen-
dum. The Universtiy of Surrey
Students’ Union has been a strong
supporter of NUS in the past and
has always returned a very strong
YES vote when polled.
Open up this issue to discover the
Election Special inside. This sup-
plement section contains the can-
didates manifestos, a detailed
look at the benfits of NUS affilia-
tion and details on how and where
to vote.
The manifestos can also be found
on the Union website at
http://www.surrey.ac.uk/Union/el
ections.
Barefacts will be covering the
whole of the elections.
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 2 (1,1)
2 News
Editorial
ell I can hardly
Editor
Tom Sherwen
(su-comms@surrey.ac.uk)
W believe it. The
sabbatical elec-
tions are here again. This
means that it has been a year
since I went through all this
Deputy Editor madness. Just think how
Steven Alexander much has happened in that
year. The elections them-
(cv71sa@surrey.ac.uk)
selves will hopefully be the
biggest and most imagina-
Arts Editor tive yet. Come along to hus-
Daniel Jones tings next Monday and
Thursday and quiz the can-
(ps51dj@surrey.ac.uk)
didates on anything you
want. For this years sabbat-
News Editor icals it is a slightly strange
James Buller feeling. The candidates are
(ma71jb@surrey.ac.uk) talking about how they are
going to do a better job
Features Editor
Nick Walsh
(ps71nw@surrey.ac.uk)
Your Letters
Union Discrimination
Music Editor
Dear Barefacts,
Andrew Thomas
(ps71at@surrey.ac.uk) Our Union is committed
against discrimination on the
Sports Editor grounds of “race, sex, sexual
orientation, disability, ethnic
Paul Cliff
origin, religion or creed, or
HIV status”, and pledges that,
(barefacts@surrey.ac.uk)
as such, “harassment of any
kind will not be tolerated”.
Commercial Manager These fine words are on dis-
Vacant play for anyone to peruse at
(li71jb@surrey.ac.uk) your nearest Union watering
hole. Perhaps then, someone
in the know could explain the
pernicious rumour circulating
that the self same establish-
Deadline for Publication ment is hosting and promoting
Monday 10am
For Richer For Poorer
As a member of the Students
Bare Facts is an editorially independent
newspaper, published by the University Union of the University of
of Surrey Students' Union
Communications Office. Surrey, I occasionally pick up
The views expressed within the paper a copy of Bare Facts and see if
are those of individual authors, and do
not necessarily represent the views of there is anything interesting in
the Editor, the Editorial Board, the it. The one thing I notice is
University of Surrey Students' Union or
that there is a regular theme to
the University of Surrey.
This publication may not be reproduced some of the material presented
in whole or in part, stored in any form,
copied or distributed, without the express in this newspaper, a theme of
permission of the publisher. student representation against
All submissions must include the author's
the oppression of
name and Union or Staff Number.
Submission is no guarantee of Government.
publication.
Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles Its not quite as groovy as the
will not be published. Students movement of the
Bare Facts reserves the right to edit
submissions. Swinging Sixties, fighting for
World Peace, sex, drugs and
Rock n Roll, but its still there.
Printed by
The issues now are the less
East End Offset (TU),
interesting realms of finance
Bow, London, E3 3LT that affect us all as successive
Governments cut grants in
© USSU Communications
Office 1998 A big thank you to RAG
OPEN LETTER
Bare Facts The Students University of
Surrey
Union House
University Of Surrey
I am writing to thank you so
Guildford
much for all your efforts
Surrey
during rag week to raise the
GU2 5XH
magnificent sum of £1,000
towards the Guildford
Tel: 01483 259275
Appeal for the new Day
Fax: 01483 534749
Care Centre which is now
known as the Beacon.
email:
barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
I am pleased to report that
when they get in. Time has
passed so quickly for us that
electing our replacements
seems somewhat premature.
Even so I wish them all the
very best of luck and look
forward to the results on
February 19th.
All the candidates are going
to try and convince you to
vote for them. I am just going
to try and convince you to
vote. The candidates obvi-
ously care about what hap-
pens to the Union and
whether you are here next
year or not I know you do too.
Use your vote wisely and
enjoy the campaigning.
Last word on elections - ,
Look up the elections website
www.surrey.ac.uk/Union/elec
an event to discriminate and
deride anyone who might be a
bit ugly, just slightly plain, or
who doesn’t quite look like
Claudia/Naomi/or any other
overpaid clothes hanger.
Wonky nose? No one will
love you. Weedy chest? Get
outta here, but hey, if you hap-
pen to have a great pair of
legs, then you’re an infinitely
better person, and deserve
praise and adoration. I refer to
the proposed beauty contest
and body building spectacle.
Isn’t it time we all grew up a
bit. A harmless bit of fun?
For who? The winners and
favour of loans and cut spend-
ing on higher education.
Our Students Union is repre-
senting us in this fight, and for
this, I am grateful, even it will
probably prove to be as effec-
tive as a fart in a hurricane in
the long term, and is simply
putting off the inevitable for
the immediate with dire con-
sequence in the meantime.
But spare me the replies as,
"quite frankly, my dear, I dont
give a damn.". The matter that
does interest me is that our
Students Union is represent-
ing us in a noble fight of prin-
cipal against poverty, and has
the gall to charge 2.05 for a
pint of Caffreys. I’d hate to
point out to them that this sort
we have now reached our
target of £1million, which is
a fantastic achievement by
everyone who has con-
tributed in one way or
another to raise this sum.
The Beacon is now open
and receiving patients. It
also houses the Community
Macmillan Nursing service
for the area.
The Centre is a very valu-
able asset to the services
Thursday 4th February 1999 n
tions from Saturday 6th Feb.
Obviously the identity of the
next Union President is far
more important than the
identity of the next England
Manager. Every Editor in the
country will have an opinion
and mine is “good riddance”.
In last weeks article on
accommodation it read that
2nd, 3rd and final year stu-
dents paying overseas fees
have to apply for accommo-
dation - BUT - they are
guaranteed University
accommodation. Virtually
all 2nd years (full fees) go to
Hazel Farm.
Next week - Do you want to
get into “Snatch”?
the letches who clearly need to
get out more. Surely we’ve all
out grown the idea that you
can judge someone on what
they might just happen to look
like, and yet this seems exact-
ly what our self-righteously
anti-discrimination-on-any-
grounds Union seems to have
in mind.
Yours Concernedly
Name Withheld, as do not want
perceptions of my looks (how-
ever they may be) to influence
the reading of this letter.
of profiteering doesnt really
fit in with their noble battles
on our behalf against student
poverty. I’d also hate to point
out that one of the reasons we
are all so poor might just be
because the Students Union is
so expensive.
And without advertising, for
the past month you could have
bought pints of Guinness,
London Pride, Theakstons
Best, Directors Best or John
Smiths for ninety-nine pence a
pint in J.D. Weatherspoons.
There were probably others,
but my liver raised objection to
a more thorough investigation
.regards
Alistair Gerrard
caring for people living with
cancer and their families in
the locality and we could not
have raised the necessary
funds without the kindness
of people like yourselves.
Thank you all so much.
With kind regards and best
wishes to you all.
Yours Sincerely
Jenny Vince
Deputy Appeals Manager
News in Brief by James Buller
Surrey MEP
Smuggled Drugs
And Gay Porn
Surrey Conservative
European Member of
Parliament, Tom Spencer
has spent the week dealing
with the reaction to his
drugs and gay porn smug-
gling affair.
On 20th January customs
officers at Heathrow Airport
found cocaine, cannabis
cigarettes, a video tape and
pornographic gay maga-
zines in Spencer’s luggage.
Spencer paid a £600 on the
spot fine for smuggling.
Afterwards he admitted that
leaving the items in his suit-
case was “an act of sheer
lunacy”. He said the drugs
were given to him in a
social situation, but that he
did not actually use them.
The magazines are freely
available on the continent
but illegal in the UK.
Tory bosses suspended the
party whip from the senior
MEP on Sunday. He is now
banned from all
Conservative Party business
at the European Parliament.
After talks with Tory Party
Chairman Michael Ancram,
Spencer announced that he
would not stand to be an
MEP again at the European
elections in June.
50 year old Spencer has
served the people of Surrey
for 9 years and been married
for 20. His wife Liz said she
had known Tom was gay
when they met
Southampton University.
However she maintained
that they had a happy and
understanding relationship.
The couple have three chil-
dren.
Spencer will keep his seat as
an MEP until June and then
step down. Conservatives in
Guildford described him as
“a very good MEP - out-
standing”. They said they
would be very sorry to see
him go.
Kenyan Police
Shoot At Student
Protesters
Student environmentalists
have clashed with police in
Kenya. The BBC reported
that students had been loot-
ing and throwing stones.
Police responded with live
bullets and tear gas.
Around 1,000 students boy-
cotted exams to demand the
release of their comrades.
Several students were previ-
ously arrested while demon-
strating about the strange
ways in which property
developers get permission
to destroy ancient wood-
land. The students also set
fire to cars and blocked the
capital Nairobi's main
roads.
W.Midlands Police
Cleared Of
Prejudice
A man who took the police
to court for racial harass-
ment has lost his case.
Black, Carl Josephs, 27
complained after he was
stopped in his car, 30 times
in two years.
However Birmingham
Crown Court dismissed all
but one of Josephs' claims.
He was awarded £1,000 for
unlawful arrest due to a case
of mistaken identity, but
charges of false imprison-
ment and racial harassment
were not upheld.
Josephs said "I'm very dis-
appointed and to be honest,
quite surprised…it sends
out the wrong message to
the community." West
Midlands Police said "The
court's ruling demonstrates
that our officers have
behaved in an ethical and
impartial manner and we are
happy that their honesty has
been vindicated.
Josephs' car is a red Metro
with "One Love" on the side
and the Jamaican flag on the
back. He says he had to see
a psychiatrist and use public
transport because of the
police force's actions.
15 Dead In
Nigerian Riot
At least 15 youths have
been killed when fighting
broke out with troops in
Nigeria. The youths were
demanding work at a huge
oil terminal, owned by
Shell. Mysteriously neither
Shell nor government offi-
cials would comment on the
incident which was reported
by eye witnesses to the
Nigerian Tribune newspa-
per.
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49
n Thursday 4th February 1999
amp America, the organ-
All Very Camp
C isation that organises work,
visas, and travel for young
people who want to go and work on
holiday camps in the U.S over the
summer is holding its annual
recruitment fairs again in February.
These fairs give you a chance to
select your own placement rather
than applying blindly to Camp
America and going to wherever
they send you.
Last summer I spent ten idyllic
weeks working on a girls camp
in Maine. I was out in the sun-
shine, everyday doing sailing,
swimming, horse riding and
water skiing and have come
home with lasting friendships
o you like dancing?
D Ballroom or Latin?
We have both. We
Tango, ChaCha,
Waltz, Jive, Samba, Rumba,
Paso Doble, Quickstep,
Foxtrot, Swing and ..?, you
name it, we have it. We, the
UniS Ballroom Dancing
Society, in short BDS, is a
welcome-all Society. Young
and dynamic, we have big
dreams for the future and
what we need is the enthusi-
asm from the members. As
one may ask, “ Would it be
too late to join? “ No... it is
never too late to join. As
MACSimum Effort For Charity
S
nogging Contests and
Slave Auctions are just
two of many raucous
events which took place in the
Hall Bar last week.
The newly revived Maths And
Computing Society (MACS)
held it's first major social event
last Thursday. It was a roaring
success in more ways than one.
Over 80 Maths and C&IT stu-
dents turned up, some bringing
their partners for the night of
fun. A few lecturers also lent
their support…mostly to the bar.
The night was organ-
ised in aid of the National
Kidney Research Fund. Craig
Clarke, a 2nd year maths stu-
dent has had to go to hospital
for dialysis three time a week
since birth. Last October he was
whisked away for a 3rd attempt
at a kidney transplant. Although
the operation didn't go well ini-
tially, Craig is now recovering
at home. It is still early days but
hopefully the transplant will be
successful. MACS wanted to
do their bit to help one of their
own, so the whole night was
geared to fund raising.
Page 3 (1,1)
all over the world. I also had
the chance to visit Boston and
New York, something that I
never dreamed I would do. I
would strongly recommend
Camp America to anyone look-
ing for something new and
challenging to do this summer.
The largest fair (200 camps
represented) and the nearest to
Surrey is the London fair. It
will be held in Kensington
Town Hall, Horton street,
London W8, on Saturday 6th
February (10am-4pm) and
Sunday 7th February
(11am-4pm) 1999.
All applicants should bring
with them:
Dancing?
every lesson is a new lesson
for everyone, no one is an
expert on the dance floor. So
don’t be shy or afraid, come
and join us, it is definitely
going to be fun. “ What
about a partner?
“” Do I have to bring one? “
No... we change partners all
the time and I’m sure you
will get to dance with at
least 3 partners in one
evening, unless you choose
to stick to one. :) Don’t
worry if you think that you
are a beginner, the class is
designed for all levels. We
are presently working on the
Luke Hickey (voted
Departmental Sports Rep Of
The Year) and Liz Finigan
compered the evening of
Snogging, Sexual Press Ups,
Kareoke, Blind Date, Slave
Auctions and Raffles. Prizes
were donated by lecturers and
Athena. All the usual suspects
took part, notably Steven
Longhurst, Adam King, Nick
Hubbard and Sarah Gosmark,
Ms Finigan also provided her
usual unprintable controversy,
while always promoting her
good cause…and the charity
element too.
At the end MACS
President Alex Glaser, who had
done much of the behind the
scenes preparation work gave a
speech. He thanked all the
MACS committee and
announced that the charity pro-
ceeds totalled over £215.
For more details and
revealing pictures of the
evening, check out the MACS
website: http://www.mcs.sur-
rey.ac.uk/Student/MACS/
James Buller
*2 Passport sized photographs.
*2 Character references from
employer/college (originals on
headed paper , dated with in the
last 12 months).
*Certificates (teaching, sports
etc...).
*£40 first deposit payable only
if you apply. Another deposit
will later be required if you are
successful.
All applicants must be 18 or
over and available by 30th June
until approximately 20th
August. For further information
write to Camp America, Dept
NA, 37a Queen’s Gate, London
SW7 5HR.
Society’s webpages and
soon we are going to publi-
cise an easy-to-follow steps’
sketches on the web every
week. So why wait? It’s
easy to learn and good fun.
Come to the University Hall
every Wednesday at 7:30pm
for advanced class and
8:30pm for beginners until
9:30pm. As we have to pay
tuition fees to the profes-
sional from outside, we col-
lect 1.50 pounds from stu-
dents and 2.00 pounds from
non-students.
Remember,
you can dance!
Talent Competition
his semester USSU Ents
T and Unplugged will
once again be hosting
the annual talent competition.
If you already know what its all
about, then go ahead and fill
out the entry form. If this is all
new to you, then read on.
The talent competition is open
to anybody who feels they have
talent! The competition is not
just for bands, but for anybody
who can get on stage and enter-
tain. In the past we have had
dancers, comedians, comedy
music acts, and others. The
heats are in the main union on
3 Union
Hairtec
24 Madrid Road
(01483)440414
Shampoo & Blow Dry from £9.00
Cutting incl. Shampoo from £11.00
Gents cut incl. shampoo from £8.50
Semi permanent Tint from £22.00
Permanent Tint £ from £25.00
Highlights/Lowlights from £35.00
Permanent Wave from £32.50
KMS/Fudge Treatment from £3.00
Sets & Blow Drys included in all
Perming & Colouring Services, but excluding Cutting
Reduced Prices for Students
Tuesdays - Fridays inclusive
Lloyds
Chemist
Hairtec
Madrid The Astolat
GPA Road
Apollo Video Store x Newsagent
The Choice Experience
nterested in tasting the real Friday 5th February TB11. A
I world this summer? The
Choice Experience is offer-
ing you an opportunity to visit
Choice representative will be
delivering 2 unmissable semi-
nars 12.30 - 13.30 and 17.30 -
a range of countries at a sub- 18.30.
sidised rate, we enable students
to partake in a variety of pro- For more information and a
jects. How about teaching in taste of the real world contact
Peru?, constructing in Nigeria The Choice Experience on
or running sports camps in 0181 900 0770, York house,
Belize? Choice is offering you Wembley, Middlesex, HA9
the unique opportunity of OBR. This summers experi-
becoming deeply part of often ence are taking place in
inaccessible communities. Thailand, Mongolia, Peru,
Taste the real world. Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda,
Nigeria, Belize, Barbados,
Come and find out more on Prague and India.
Tuesday 9th March, Tuesday
16th March, and Thursday 18th
March. The final will be an all-
day event in the Union on
Sunday 21st March. Each heat
winner voted for by that nights
audience will receive the door
takings. The grand Final first
Prize is £100 + a whole lot
more.
Entry forms available in last
weeks paper or in the
Unplugged pigeon hole.
For rules and more information
check out last weeks paper on
the barefacts web site or con-
tact Gav at
barefacts@surrey.ac.uk.
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 4 (1,1)

4 Thursday 4th February 1999 n

History
Almost 2 years ago the
University commissioned a
consultant to review the current
Catering services offered on the
Campus. The results led to both
the Universtiy and USSU car-
rying out research including
student focus groups. The con-
clusions from the report sug-
gested that the existing
“Chancellors Bar &
Restaurant” should look at
repositioning itself in the mar-
ket place.
With this in mind the
Sabbaticals and Permanent
staff recognised the need rede-
velop the Chancellors concept.
The removal of the existing
Table D’hôte service at lunch
time, the increase of students
through the EIHMS develop-
ment and the advent of
increased competition from the
high street led to a decision, to
not only refurbish but to signif-
icantly redevelop the current
service offered to the student
membership and university
staff.
CHANCELLORS REFURBISHMENT
Last semester we invited sever- Now! tioned, the toilets and services the project are:
al companies with experience will move, the main entrance Design Architect: James Pye
Questions?
So what now?.........
in Student Union projects to will be through revolving doors (Johnson Gillies, Tel:.0171 377 So what else to you want to
Well, Chancellors as you know
present ideas for a “New off the patio, there will be new 6247) know???
it will close for service on the
Chancellors”. Many issues seating , and....it will certainly Architect Duncan Holland () The most frequently asked Q’s
Friday before the Easter
needed to be addressed- new be a different atmosphere!!! Project Manager are:
Vacation (26/3/99), and is due
bar and cellar services, better Jo Reay-Child ( Food & What food are you going to
to reopen 10th May 1999.
seating , improved air condi- See the display in Chancellors Beverage Dept USSU extn serve? Good quality bar
During that time the existing
tioning, improved access for Foyer, and if you need more 9986) snacks with wide price range
bar and cellar will be reposi-
the services back of house, etc. information then key people on available most of the day
Eventually, last November we What times will it be open?
appointed a firm of architects Initially from 8am through to
who we felt offered the best 9pm for food and from 11am-
design for our “New 11pm for bar service
Chancellors”. Will it be open for Brekkie?
Yes, offering a continental
Currently breakfast
Who will work there?
Since November we have been
As presently a mix of perma-
working with the architects to
nent staff supplemented with
establish the final structural
student staff
drawings for Chancellors. We
Can we smoke?
have also been working
There will be areas to smoke,
towards redeveloping the exist-
and areas that are non-smoking
ing kitchen layout, and other
Can we just have a beer with
services behind the scenes.
our mates? Yes! You
Issues such as whether we can
can have a beer, a coffee, order
have a gas supply in the
a snack or have a main meal
kitchen? and Is it possible to
Will the name stay the same?
replace the existing steps from
Yes! From the results of the
the bar into the back of house
Student focus groups there was
with a ramp? have been hotly
a unanimous vote to keep the
considered!!!
Chancellors name

Green Soc It’s It’s It’s Silly Night Skills Development Programme
reen Soc is up and running

G this semester and going from

strength to strength. We’re
organising a big recycling campaign, W
elcome back
to Uni, I hope
you had a
raising awareness about issues that are good Christmas Break,
important and easily achievable, and and the like. Okay, don't
forging links with the local communi- tell me now, I'm not lis-
ty. tening.
We’re also planning a green week for Anyhow, there are only
later on in the semester, and organis- three silly nights left
ing the odd social event or several... before the Easter break,
We’re always on the look out for peo- and we've got them all
ple who are interested in all things planned, but unfortu-
green (be that trees, planets or Hooch nately, after we decided
bottles). what we wanted to do, I
had a few cold drinks,
If you’re interested in making new and have now forgotten
friends, getting something interesting one of them. It may have
and worthwhile in you CV, and having had something to do
yet another excuse to go out drinking, with pets. Or possibly
come along to Lecture Theatre J on feminine hygiene. I'll
Tuesdays at 6.30, or email Vicki have to get Back to you
(ph71vb) or Claire (sc51ch). See you when I can remember.
there!
Week 5 (17th Feb):
Politicians and Bimbos.
All Sabbatical Nominees
must come dressed to
impress, with a rosette
and a bimbo or two on
their arm. Everyone
must lie. Loud-hailers
may be available.
Week 7 (3rd March): It's
Lisa's 21st Birthday, but
I can't remember what
we were going to do, it's
also international week,
so we might do some-
thing relevant. Or not.
Maybe Rubber Glove
Night? (Oh, that was
Friday, wasn't it?)
Week 9 (17th March):
Karaoke. Or Kareoke.
Carry-okay? Who
knows. But we hope to
have a wide variety of
styles for you to choose
from. As long as we get
"I'm Too Sexy", I'll be
happy.
That's all. Some of these
are suggestions written
in our suggestions books
at both Hari's and Union
bars, if you get a flash
of inspiration, ask for the
book, and write it down.
Or you could email us
on silly@ee.surey.ac.uk.
Try to join-in if you can,
'cos it makes the night so
much better if people
make the effort!Enjoy!.
Coming up soon....
Righting a Report (Tuesday
9 February 3pm - 5pm in
the Grant Mitchell Room)
This workshop looks at the
area of report writing within
an academic setting.
Participants will have the
opportunity to receive person-
al feedback on reports they
have written or about to write.
This session is led by Penny
Burden, Skills Development
Project Manager.
Negotiation Skills
(Wednesday 17 February
between 4pm and 6pm)
This session looks at the art
of persuasion and is aimed
at those looking to improve
their meeting skills or liaise
closely with other organisa-
tions such as the University
or businesses. It will be par-
ticularly useful to those
wanting to take a more
active role within the Union
or wanting to learn tech-
niques for a future business
career. This will be led by
Sharon Baker, former
Students’ Union President
and now working for
Media-Matters.

FREE
CONDOMS
inc: Gay Friendly

FREE From the lecutre

Sanitary Products theatres go up these
stairs... The University conference office requires
student help during the Easter vacation.
FREE The work will be varied and involve dealing
Uni, Local with conference delegates and helping to
+ National ensure events run smoothly.
Information ....turn left at the top
Application forms and job descriptions are
available from the Conference Office
£1: Attack Alarms (Philip Marchant Building)
CLOSING DATE FOR APPLICATIONS:-
Nightliine: Friday 12 February 1999
NIGHTLINE - WHAT, Int 4949 £3.50 per hour,
WHERE & HOW Ext 01483 532 710 Ring the office door bell Plus FREE campus accomodation
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 5 (1,1)

Thursday 4th February 1999 n Live Music 5

Mark: Six out of Six

Mansun
Guildford Civic Hall 20/01/99
Mansun are a proper rock band. One the last throes of Britpop and sur-
with vision and intelligence. And passed it with a flourish of dignity
one that takes risk. They emerged in and grace. A string of consistently
superb singles released
with songs finer than
most bands crowning
moments, yet songs fail-
ing to see the light of day
on the debut album.
Some time off and a few
new guitar effects pedals
can do strange things to
people from Chester. For
example the offering of
an overblown, ambitious
collation of musical snip-
pets patched semi-ran-
domly into millenial
sounding missives as
some trade off for a sec-
ond album of voltile crit-
ical credentials.
The fact that this offer-
ing, Six was pure genius
and that in a decade or
two will be taken as a ref-
erence point in progressive experi-
mentation is perhaps not the point
now. But for now the hazy lighting
for 'Negative' and Draper's irrepress-
ible hip movements introduce us to
the cancerous, serotonin, shotgun
appeal of Mansun.
Well, the songs are not edited so you
get the full epochal outpourings. An
act liable to interpretations of dull
self-indulgence that in reality, with
occassional exception, is a delight.
Sometimes where there should be a
flourish (Television) there is a sim-
per, and you urge Draper on to pick
up his guitar. Perhaps to fill out the
sound but more because when he
does, you think they'll be the sharp
focussed intonation of the likes of
'Stripper Vicar' (tonight straining to
free itself into some more raucous,
ragged religious scandal) and 'She
Makes My Nose Bleed' (chunky and
forthright).
But you listen and think. And if you
think enough, you realise that many
of the best moments are in the crazed
twist of 'Being A Girl' and the upbeat
pop of 'Negative'. And you notice
that with the older songs mixed in
with the newer songs, the Mansun
blueprint of Six was not
uninevitable, perhaps even
inescapable. The stop start and fus-
ing of the portions of tonight's care-
free 'Taxloss' and its swirling end are
like a mycrocosm of the movements
of Six. '...Grey Lantern' was perhaps
the wide open space in the context of
Hyde Park to the Lake District-esque
freedom and scope of 'Six'. Tonight
was either stunning or ordinary. The
work of pioneering mavericks or that
of those retreading the worst of
lengthy interludes and decade endur-
ing songs of prog rock. Clearly it
was the former - how else would you
explain the rush of 'Take It Easy,
Chicken' that wraps dealings up for
now.
Daniel Jones

Very Molecular
@tomika
Aldershot West End Centre 22/01/99
Sometimes you need a second
chance in life. Like Grant Mitchell in
Eastenders - all those second
chances with Tiff. And like the pre-
viously monikered Caged, who fell
collapsed in their own lack of ambi-
tion. But unlike Grant, @tomika
probably won't sleep with their fans'
mother's.
Old favourite, 'Ghosts' opens. It's a
classic lesson in pop. You see,
@tomika seem like a raucous care-
free grunge rock metal affair. But,
you listen and whilst they're loud and
Gareth's vocals are energetic and
fuelled - like the best vitriolic out-
burst of Grant when he used to get
into tiffs with Tiff - the guitars chime
as much as they fuzz and the bass
echoes, engraving it's own melody
within the soundscape. Indeed,
'Uncomfortably Numb' opens with a
classic Smiths jingle jangle before
cranking it up with controlled anban-
don.
'Wiser' could well be their master-
piece. Or it might not. Either way, it
is the archetypal finely crafted song
with perhaps a hundred hook laden
melodies working in unison. Current
single 'Dead Flowers', a little rushed
is slipped in amid the action along that they've got most of what they Pumpkins, 'Gish' era uninhibited
with the corny but nonetheless epic had before, but with a little more rock of 'Sheep'. The wide legged
'Third Star From The Right'. This impetus this time. The encore con- pose. The look in the eyes.
hasn't been their most convincing sists of the pure Smashing Daniel Jones
performance, yet its enough of a sign

Go Thurs 4th:
Fri 5th:
Sat 6th:
Limehouse Lizzy (Thin Lizzy Tribute) @ Reading Alleycat
Lemonincest / Son Fariq @ Reading Alleycat
Phoenix / Pinnacle / Honeytoe @ Reading Alleycat
Atomica / Spotless / Viz The Spoon @ Woking ICBC
Sun 7th:

See
One Minute Silence / Pulkas / Liberty 37 @ Reading Alleycat
Mon 8th: Thermonic @ London Camden Monarch
Silverchair / Nojahoda / Cay @ London Electric Ballroom
Rachel Stamp @ Aldershot West End Centre
Tues 9th: Dot Allison @ London Kings X Waterats

Live!
Nimbus @ London Islington Redeye
Wed 10th: Stay @ Home
Thurs 11th: Rising Star / Hypertherma / Stony Sleep @ Reading Alleycat
Fri 12th: Jabba / Born Idol / DBU @ Reading Alleycat
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49
6 Music
SINGLES
CARSON - Up and Down
(Warners)
A support slot on a Natalie
Imbruglia tour doesn’t real-
ly do much for your credi-
bility status, but all is not
lost. A glorious guitar riff
and a simple, but “catchy”
chorus show a glimmer of
possible future success.
Lyrical content isn’t exactly
“Thom Yorke”, but this is
still a rousing tune with a
very high feel-good factor.
8/10 A.S
PLANET ELECTRICA
Protection (ELF)
A brand new compliation
for everybody’s wonderful
ears and it’s just not for
those tweaked up dishes,
theres a serious side to it as
well. Yep, another relief CD,
but now for the people of
Central America. And what
a CD it is, elements from
Massive Attack, Chemical
Brothers, U2, Underworld
and many more. Eclectic
styles come crashing togeth-
er to form a monostrous
form of enjoyment. Personal
favourites are ‘Lost in the
K-Hole’ by Chemical
Brothers and ‘The Bug’ by
Face On Mars. A wicked yet
troubling little number. 8/10
K.M
V/A - The Chill Out Room
(Columbia)
Normally compilation
albums are just blatant mar-
keting scams, putting a mis-
match of second rate tracks
on an overpriced CD. This
one does at least seems
more considered and
informed. Not least from the
artists chosen but also
because album tracks are
chosen instead of choosing
the easy option of just using
singles. Obviously this
album was designed with a
specific context in-mind,
and luckily I was able to
sample the CD in the right
mood, and it was a perfect
background to the evening.
David Homes track ‘don’t
die just yet’ is a soulful,
stingsnbeats take miles
ahead of anyone else in con-
temporary dance. There are
popular singles from
Sneeker pimps, Leftfield
and Morcheeba, and an
Echo dek version of Primal
screams star. The tracks
towards the end only make
sense when your stoned oth-
erwise they seem a bit
bland. But overall its alright,
but this sort of thing would
only be bought by people
too tight to purchse albums
Page 6 (1,1)
IDLEWILD-When I given up on pop and are now
Argue I See Shapes(Food)
The fourth track to be taken
from the debut album (and
one of the finest). It’s been
slightly redone, but it has
only been improved.
Potentially their most suc-
cessful single, it’s catchy in
all the right places. 7/10
M.A.
MIDGET - Artwork [by g
beasley] (Curveball)
ALBUMS
from individual artists. So
its yeah “Ive got an indie
album”(shine), “Im really
cool, I’ve got a laid-back
dance album” (Chill Out
Room). In which case we
should avoid sad people
who buy albums like this.
7/10 R.G.
SMOG - Knock Knock
(Domino)
This album is apparently
uplifting according to the
press release, also It says
‘Gone is the mournful musi-
cal introspection’. However
not having heard the previ-
ous releases I can not com-
pare, however uplifting def-
initely isn’t a word I’d use to
describe it. Another shudder
worthy thing about the press
release is that Bill Callahan
(Smog) says ‘I was trying to
make an album for
teenagers’. The album itself
is a decidedly lo-fi affair, in
a minimalist vein on a lot of
songs. However every now
and again it comes up with
some more backing for the
lyrics and is quite beautiful.
The mainstay of this album
is the lyrics which are of
high quality and delivered
well. It comes somewhere
between Eels and
Tindersticks but more mini-
mal. It has a truly great song
title of ‘Hit The Ground
Running’. However whilst
the album is occasionally
dull, its strong vocals pull it
though amicably. 7/10 I.P.
THE MUTTON BIRDS -
Rain, Steam & Speed
(Shhhh!)
New Zealand’s finest since
Crowded House return with
their fourth album, after
being unceremoniously
dropped by Virgin. My, how
that label has changed since
the days of the great Richard
Branson; time was when
artists would be allowed to
develop their own, even if
unfashionable, style and
fanbase without being
hounded for number ones.
A stoned chunder in the
style of the Super Furry
Animals. The press release
claims that Midget have
doing their own thing.
Thankfully this doesn’t
extend to the b-sides, which
are chirpy as ever and make
it an overall enjoyable lis-
tening experience. Even if
they are a bit Status Quo.
7/10 A.T.
LITTLE MOTHERS -
Your Twisted Sister
(Island)
Unexpectedly good mellow
But, in these days of crass
commercialism, the band
whose last album ‘Envy Of
Angels’ spawned the singles
‘She’s Been Talking’ and,
the outstanding, ‘Come
Around’, find themselves
out on their ears but with the
freedom to experiment a
touch more. The resulting
LP is not quite on the same
level as its predecessor how-
ever, with the hooks a little
less warming and the overall
approach a touch more som-
bre. That said, those trade-
mark melodies and har-
monies do crop up from
time to time, particularly on
a couple of starlets, the sin-
gle ‘Pulled Along By Love’
and ‘The Falls’, complete
with a horn part reminiscent
of the Beach Boys’ classic
‘God Only Knows’. ‘Envy’
was always going to hard to
follow, but this is a good
shot at it. 7/10
J.R.H.
ANI DIFRANCO - Up Up
Up Up Up Up (Cooking
Vinyl)
Barely a year on from ‘Little
Plastic Castle’ the ever pro-
lific Ani DiFranco delivers
another collection of her
fun, quirky and slightly
bizarre folk pop. ‘Up Up Up
Up Up Up’ certainly sounds
like the most band-oriented
record she has recorded, and
as such the usual DiFranco
touches seem to be hidden a
little. A minor quibble. Ani
once again uses her songs to
tell stories, the destruction
of a town in ‘Trickledown’
or of society in ‘’Tis Of
Thee’, the arrangements and
her words draw you in. The
final track, thirteen minutes
plus of ‘Hat Shaped Hat’ is
something of a departure,
the folk is replaced by a
fluid funk bassline and a
soulful swing. ‘Up Up Up
Up Up Up’ shows that Ani
is still ascending. 7/10 R.W.
Thursday 4th February 1999
rock from a
little known
band that
should hope- (EMI)
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
MANSUN - Six
fully bring us Sounding very much
much more like Mansun, Six is an
in the future.
emotional appraisal of
Includes
another 3
futility (‘Life is a com-
promise, anyway’) -
d i v e r s e
t r a c k s , lyrically elegant and
‘Something affecting and as ever,
M o r e ’ , knowing. . The Baker
‘Watercress’ Mix, a little more
and ‘They punctual in texture and
Tell Me’. radio friendly, does lit-
Check it out. tle to deplete the feel-
7/10 M.D.
ing. 8/10 D.J.
LUCIANO - Sweep over soul will probably suffice to this was a real attempt at
my soul (Jetstar)
Apparently, Luciano is the
present day king of Reggae.
please. Unfortunatly, if this
is the way for reggae to be
dragged kicking and
finding as many crappy
songs with the exact same
beat and putting them all
This would most definately screaming back into the together with the minimum
reflect the sorry state of pre- hearts and minds of all of us, amount of mixing effort
sent day reggae. For those of it will be safe to assume that required. Even a monkey
us whose Reggae experi- Reggae shall remain could mix this lot. They are
ence is ‘limited’ to Bob AWOL. 3/10 G.N. not all crap tracks, there are
Marley, UB40 and Finley 3 (in 37) good songs which
Quaye, Luciano is a very include Buena Vida, The
hard kick to the head. Secret Wish and The
Luciano’s themes include Silence, but that is about the
deep spiritualality and sin- only good thing in it and
cerity which convey with frankly, that’s not enough. A
his unfaltering belief in JUDGE JULES - sourly poor, 2/10 M.D.
Jah.Altogether a very differ- Clubber’s Guide to Ninety
This weeks reviews by:
ent world from Red Red Nine (Ministry of Sound) Andrew Smith, Matthew
Wine and the rest of popular What a disappointment this Anderson, Andrew Thomas,
Reggae. Ultimately, if you is. I don’t know weather the Daniel Jones, Mario Dias, Kevin
Marston, Rodney Gambora, Ian
find that ‘Ulterior Motive’ Judge was in a hurry; so he
Purvey, James Hemingway,
(a ‘hit’ anthem) is your cup just got any tracks and put Rob Winder, and Gareth Nolan.
of tea then Sweep over my them together, or weather
ALBUM OF THE WEEK
3 COLOURS RED - Revolt (Creation) they follow this with the spacey rock of
F*ck Yes! This is more like it. On their sec- ‘Pirouette’ and then their should-have-
ond album 3 Colours Red achieve every- been-a-much-bigger-hit-than-it-was single
thing their overly hyped debut album ‘Beautiful Day’, a sublime power ballad
should have done. Where the songs on they are rightly proud of. While ‘Pure’ was
‘Pure’, which we had grown to love a little one-dimensional ‘Revolt’ flexes
through two years of incendiary live shows, through a range of styles, the most surpris-
had the passion dragged out of them by the ing being the Soundgarden sounding psy-
lame production and leaving the feeling chedelia of ‘Paranoid People’, and Pete
that the record was not quite complete. Vuckovic’s has matured into a thoroughly
‘Revolt’ is a whole different matter, and versatile instrument. Guitarist Chris
sounds smart as hell. All the songs are new, McCormack told me last year that ‘Revolt’
studio workings, with a fantastic spacious was “a massive leap forward” for 3 Colours
and bright production courtesy of Dave Red and that he “couldn’t be happier” with
Eringa (famed for his work with the the outcome . He was right, ‘Revolt’ joins
Manics). The riff heavy ‘Paralyse’ kick the an ever growing list of great albums
proceedings off, but while you may expect already released in ‘99.
3 Colours Red to keep their foot on the gas, 9/10 R.W.
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 7 (1,1)

Thursday 28th January 1999 n Entertainments Guide 7

OFU
Cineline
0870 505 0007
WWW.ODEON.CO.UK Six Days, Seven Monty Python’s The
Nights: Sunday, 8pm, Meaning of Life:
Saturday Friday Thursday Wednesday Tuesday Monday Sunday Saturday Friday

Fri Jan 29th - Thurs Feb 4th 1999

A Bug’s Life LTG Wednesday, 8pm,
5th

fri-sat 10.45 not fri, 12.00 13.10 14.30 15.35 Robin (Anne Heche) is LTG
17.00 18.00 19.30 20.20 called away on business The next Arts Cinema film
sun-thurs 11.00 not sun, 12.15 13.30 15.00 16.00 from her island holiday with
Swing City 17.30 18.30 20.00 21.00
is the classic Monty
her fiance. She charters a Python’s The Meaning of
DJ Quik - HRB Shakespeare in Love small plane and pilot Life, where life is tasteless-
fri-sat 12.15 15.10 18.30 21.20 (Harrison Ford) to take her ly celebrated in seven instal-
sun-thurs 12.05 14.50 17.40 20.30 to Tahiti but en route the ments from birth to death.
Hideous Kinky plane crashes on an The Monty Python team
fri-sat 14.10 16.30 19.15 21.45
6th

unknown island. The two dream up new and even

sun-thurs 12.10 16.30 18.45 21.00 are forced to strike up an more outrageous than usual
Very Bad Things uneasy alliance to survive ways to mock human
fri-sat 12.30 not sat, 15.00 17.30 20.00 22.10 and to outrun a shipload of behaviour and stereotypes:
sun-thurs 12.30(except sun) 15.30 17.50 20.20 pirates. We also get to see from war and obese people,
Stepmom David Schwimmer (drippy through to schoolteachers
fri-sat 12.45 not sat, 15.30, 18.30 21.30 Ross from “Friends”) turn and Catholics.
sun-thurs 12.05 not sun, 14.45 17.30 20.30 his hand to the big screen...
Practical Magic At times surreal, at others
7th

fri-sat 14.00 16.30 19.15 21.50 How do you get a ticket for completely sick, but always
sun-thurs 13.10 15.45 18.15 20.45 this great action adventure? hilarious, this film marked a
The Seige A season ticket at the bar- return for the Python team
fri-sat 13.00 19.30 gain price of 7.50 lets you to a series of sketches (their
sun-thurs 12.15 17.35 see all the OFU and Arts previous films, Holy Grail
Little Voice Cinema films this season and Life of Brian, were
fri -sat 13.30 not sat 16.00 18.45 21.05 (fifteen in total!). straightforward linear narra-
sun-thurs 13.00 (not sun) 15.30 18.00 21.00 Alternatively, guest tickets tives) and with it, a return to
Star Trek: Insurrection for indidual films are avail- the overall sense of fun
sat 13.30
8th

able at 2.50 by filling in a prevalent in their TV series.

sun 13.00 ticket in the Union post A must-see for all Python
Enemy of the State room at least an hour before fans. Ticket details as for
fri-sat 16.00 22.00 the film. Guest tickets are the OFU film (but guest
sun-thurs 14.45 20.00 also available from the tickets 2.00)
The Mask of Zorro Union reception.
sat 12.00 , sun 12.30
The Prince of Egypt
sat & sun 12.00
9th

Lunar Lisa and Mystic Moonda

AQUARIUS
21st January - 19th Febuary
You’re stuck in the middle
at the moment between
sociable friends and those
10th
TAURUS
21st April-21st May
There’s a new dawn in your
life. Why not treat yourself
to something new to mark
LEO
21st July-23rd August
Miaow...put those claws
away! You didn’t listen to
the stars last week. It’s time
SCORPIO
24th October-22nd November
Take that saucepan off your
head and open your eyes.
Oops, our mistake, your

who like to snuggle up with
a cup of coccoa and
Eastenders. Ignore pressure
from others and try to do
what makes you happy.
unlucky object; Scrabble
board game
the occasion - a brand
spanking new wardrobe, or
maybe just a nice pair of
boots.
Unlucky Objects; Odd pair
of boots.
to hang up those fishnet
stockings and whip out
granny’s thick woolies.
Unlucky Object; A ladder.
domestic situation is no bet-
ter than last week. Please try
a little harder this time to
achieve a war-free zone.
Unlucky object; A Saddam
Insane impressionist

POOL PISCES GEMINI

VIRGO
24th August-23rd September
SAGITTAURUS
23rd November-21st
11th

20th February-20th March
COMPETITION Something fishy’s going on.
You’re finding it difficult to
7PM interprate thoughts and feel-
ings hidden in those who
really matter to you. Be
patient and all will be
revealed.
Unlucky Object; Smoking
12th
22nd May-21st June
This week friends will think
they are acting in your best
interests. Trust your own
instincts. After all, how
many successful matches
has Cilla Black made?!
Unlucky Object; Two free
weekend tickets to Bognor.
You’ve been concentrating
on the mundane priorities in
your life. Ask if you can
borrow a Leo’s fishnet
stockings. Flutter those eye-
lashes and make your way
to Cindy’s - enjoy.....
Unlucky objects; Tickets to
The Drink.
December
You were certainly making
the most of being a party
animal last week, but one
question crops up...where
did you leave the most inti-
mate parts of your
wardrobe?! More care will
be needed in the future.

kipper. Unlucky object; The carrot

ARIES
21at March-20th April
You’re feeling a little like
road kill this week - com-
pletely run down. Try to
recouperate, by cutting
down on trips to the pub
13th
CANCER
22nd June-23rd July
Don’t become too stressed
this week otherwise you’ll
interrupt your drinking pat-
terns! Think about fields of
heather on a warm sum-
mer’s day at roughly....3:31
LIBRA
24th September-23rd October
You’ve been spending too
much time alone with elec-
trical applicances (we mean
the TV...honest!). You need a
new hobby such as spotting
a sober person having a good
fairy.
CAPRICORN
22nd December-20th January
Thank goodness you sorted
out your personal hygienne -
now sort out more pressing
matters such as coursework

(one day off a week should pm, in the north of Wales, time at Friday Night Out. deadlines and social com-
do it). during a leap year.... Unlucky object; Stamp mitments.
Unlucky Object; Set of Unlucky object; Rain cloud. collection Unlucky object; A cunning
headlights. evil sock.
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 8 (1,1)
8 Notices
GCR Playlist
GUILDFORD CAMPUS RADIO
1602AM
STUDENT RADIO TOP THIRTY
1) Assorted - Chill Out Room
ALBUM OF THE WEEK
2) Assorted - Planet Electrica ‘PROTEC-
TION’ - Charity compilation for Hurricane
Appeal.
3) Offspring - Pretty Fly (for a white guy)
4) Stereophonics - Just Looking
5) Skunk Anansie - Charlie Big Potato
6) 3 Colours Red - Revolt - ALBUM
7) Placebo - Every You Every Me
8) Ruth - Waiting for this
9) Unkle feat. Ian Brown - Be There
10) The Divine Comedy - National Express
11) Mercury Rev - Delta Sun
12) Propellerheads - EP
13) Witness - Scars
14) Kula Shaker - Mystical Machine Gun
15) Bonnie Prince Billy - I See a Darkness -
ALBUM
16) Fatboy Slim - Praise You
17) Sleater Kinney - A Quarter to Three
18) The Lanterns - High-rise Town
19) Cassius - 1999 - ALBUM
20) Blackout - Gotta Have Hope
21) Travis - Writing To Reach You
22) River - Setting Sun
23) Dope on Plastic 6 - ALBUM
24) Bis - Action and Drama
25) Desert Eagle Discs - The Eagle Has
Landed - ALBUM
26) McAlmont - A Little Communication
27) The Cardigans - Erase Rewind
28) Nojahoda - Nojahoda
29) Underworld - King of Snake
30) Mirrorball - Given Up Rae & Christian -
All I Ask
Electrical Engineering
(EESoc.) AGM
9th February 1999 Tuesday
17.30pm Departmental Common
Room
Motor Club AGM -
Tuesday 9th February 199 19.30
LTB
Jumble Sale
There will be a sale of unclaimed
lost property on Thurs 11th Feb,
11am - 2pm on the Union dance
floor. Loads of books, clothes,
umbrellas and jewellery up for
grabs. Proceeds to Jeans for Genes
who help children with genetic
disorders.
NEW MARKET
STALLS
Every Tuesday - Stall selling
cheap good quality cards, gift
wrap, notelets etc.
Weekly markets are held in the
Union building on Mon, Tues,
Thurs, Fri.
Windsurfing Starts
Again
For all those who have been before
or those wanting to learn the firs
meeting is this Friday (5th Feb)
Time: 1pm Place: Upstairs in the
Union Tequila Night the same fri-
day. Details given at the meeting.
For anyone who cannot make the
meeting please phone
James x 4723
Heidi x 4739
Thursday 28th January 1999 n
Notices
S.I.S Event
09/02/99 Hewlett Packard
Title: Leadership, Teamwork &
Working Abroad
Time: 7pm Venue: LTE
FREE FOOD
ABANDONED CYCLE
SALE
The Security Department have
currently in storage a quantity
of cycles which have been
abandoned on Campus. These
cycles will be sold on Monday
8th February and all monies
received from this sale will be
donated to the Student
Hardship Fund.
DETAILS OF THE SALE :
Cycles for Sale available for
viewing, Senate Car-Park.
Monday 1st to Friday 5th
February 99. Offers made
through a sealed bid to the Mr J.
Moir in the Security Department
before 1700hrs Friday 5th
February 99. New owners
informed of their successful bid,
Monday 8th February 99.
Swimmers!!
There will no swimming at the
Spectrum on the following dates:
8th February, 1st March, 22nd
march
After Easter: 26th April, 17th May
We apologise for any inconve-
nience caused by these arrange-
ments.
Womens Waterpolo.
6:00pm Grant Mitchell Room in
the Students’ Union
WANTED!
Cheerleaders for the Surrey
Stingers American Football team.
Extreme Sports
You don't have to be able to dance,
Parachute course for static line
just willing to have a laugh and
jump- late feb/early marchcost
yell a bit. Leave your name and
approx. £80 Interested please con-
number in the team's pigeon hole
tact Tony at php1ae
(marking it "cheerleaders") or e-
mail us at nm81gh.
The ArabSoc
International Societies welcomes you to the Arabic night
on thursday 11/02/99 in the Helyn
Standing Meeting
Rose Bar at 9pm.
Wednesday 10th February 1999
Tickets £3
STEP
University of Surrey
Skills Through Experience Programme
NOWADAYS EMPLOYERS WANT MORE
THAN JUST A DEGREE...
Apply Your Knowledge
Gain Some Practical Experience Which Complements
Your Course Of Study
Improve Your CV
Develop Your Skills
Meet New People
WE CAN MATCH YOU UP WITH A PLACEMENT THAT
WILL INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING A
GOOD JOB AND YOU’LL ONLY HAVE TO GIVE UP AN
HOUR OR TWO PER WEEK.
Everyone who completes 10 weeks of a placement will
receive a certificate which lists the skills developed
through participation in the scheme.
Contact Hannah Picken on 01483 259393 ext:4913 or
e-mail ms51hp for more information.
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49
n Thursday 28th January 1999
Crossword No 92
Across:
1. Desert Animal (5)
4. Acting strongly (7)
8. Bitterness (7)
9. To exercise (6)
10. Old stringed instrument
(4)
11. On the other side of the
sheet (8)
13. Wild excitement (6)
14. Smoked fish (6)
17. Renounce the throne
(8)
19. Spoken (4)
22. Beat strongly (5)
23. Dishonesty (7)
24. Originator (7)
25. Direction-finding appa-
ratus (5)
Last Weeks Solution:
Across: 1. Hawthorn
5.stow 8.error 10.toddler
11.simmer 12. Torch 14.
Haggle 16. Drudge
19.alpha 21.excise
24.neglect 25.graze 26.link
27.predator
RUPERT AND LLOYD´S
AGONY COLUMN
here are many things in
T life which one may find
hard to talk about.
Death, taxes, financial prob-
lems, exam performance,
insomnia, hernias, haemmor-
rhoids, onanism, constipation,
masturbation, religion, politics,
premature ejaculation or public
lice, to name but a few.
Featuring prominently on this
catalogue of middle class
taboos is that area of human
interchange that has brought
many a mighty ruler to his
proverbial knees... and that
woman to somewhere in
between President Clinton´s.
The heroes of the Great War of
Sexual Liberation in the 1960´s
are currently embarking on
new struggles against the flacid
demons of middle age and
menopause. Armed with little
more than packets of Viagra
and copies of "Penthouse" they
face the impending crisis with
the stiff upper lip that put the
Great into Britain and Mandy
into Mayfair. But they never
talk about it with us.
Notwithstanding our parents
notable achievements in the
past, we as youngsters are still
faced with mighty challenges.
Page 9 (1,1)
Down:
1. Orange-pink colour (5)
2. Huge unnatural creature
(7)
3. To seem (4)
4. To trace descent (6)
5. Minor planet (8)
6. Vestige (5)
7. A pine, for example (7)
12. Uncomplimentary
remark (8)
13. Frenzied (7)
15. To forebode (7)
16. He keeps the furnace
supplied (6)
18. Mournful song (5)
20. Stratum (5)
21. Just (4)
Down: 1.heed 2.warning
3.harem 4.retort 6.tiler
7.worthier 8.editor
13.schrapnel 15.leaden
17.distant 18.setter
20.pagon 22.caged 23.bear
Compiled by Jeff
Blackham
The nature and intensity of
which confront us on a daily
basis. Posh Spice and Beckham
have indeed become one...but
for many of us this fairy-tale
notion of sexual Nirvana
seems unattainable. How
many of you young lads in
Physics and Civ Eng. have not
suffered a broken heart over a
nice piece of crumpet in the
Psychology or Sociology
Department...and face it girls,
how many hours have you
spent making yourselves beau-
tiful for those two hunky fellas
in German and Law?
We appreciate that life for all
students,especially you sad sin-
gle bastards, can at time be
frustrating. That is why we ask
you to approach us with your
most intimate problems and
darkest secrets. We, Prof.
Rupert Pornski of the
University of Weston-super-
Mare and Dr Lloyd Clittman of
Jefferson Southern Baptist
College, are here to give can-
did, professional yet sympa-
thetic advice to those of you in
need. Our credentials are sec-
ond to none and we guarantee
100% anonymity to those of
you who can spell it.
Dr Russ
Dear Russ
I’ve been told that some
employers ask you to give
a presentation as part of
their selection procedure.
Have you got any advice in
case I’m asked to do one?
Dear Christian
Perhaps I could start by
explaining why employers
use this exercise. The key
things which they are look-
ing for are clarity of expres-
sion, good time-keeping,
effective organisation of
your material, and self-con-
fidence. If they can also
obtain some evidence that
you have a sense of humour
then that’s a bonus!
You are usually told in
advance what you will be
required to talk about. It
could be on a subject of
your choice, or maybe a
leisure interest or it could be
related to the job you’re
applying for. If you have
time, you can write out the
whole thing beforehand but
it’s not a good idea to read it
out word for word on the
day. Far better to write the
key points on a series of
numbered index cards. As
you come to each point dur-
ing your talk it will remind
you what to say.
The beginning and end of
your talk are the crucial
parts. Try to grab their
attention with something
different from the usual “I’d
like to talk to you about
.......”. Why not try some-
thing like “It was once said
that .......” or “It is not com-
monly known that.....” as a
slightly more unusual way
of introducing your subject.
A powerful opening sen-
tence is a great confidence
booster and will help you
get into stride for the rest of
your talk. Your finish
should be equally impres-
sive because that will leave
the examiners with a posi-
tive opinion about you.
Try to practise your talk in
advance if you can. Get a
friend to listen and tell you
how you are coming across.
Work hard to get the talk
into the time you’ve been
allowed. You will probably
be penalised if you don’t -
or you might even be cut off
in mid-sentence. Highly
embarrassing!
Finally, when you get
around to delivering the real
thing - remember to project
your voice so that everyone
can hear and try to make eye
contact with each person in
the room at some stage dur-
ing your talk. That will
make them feel personally
involved and they will be all
the more appreciative.
As ever, remember that a
presentation usually forms
just part of the assessment.
If it goes badly, try to put it
behind you and throw your-
self into the next activity.
Employers seldom fail can-
didates on the basis of one
poor performance.
Russ Clark
Careers Service
Opportunities
Personals
■ The Fool is back...
■ Dave C 4 Jill from Music
■ Go on Dave
■ Kiss my sweet potato pie
■ Kiss my rosy red ass
■ R.B.D - Wed? Yes. Bo’s?
Yes. S.O.S? Oh Yeah!
■ Desperate D Strikes Again.
■ Michelle-need any new bat-
teries yet?
■ Rent Boy D - How’s the
Turkish bath?
■ " Hea-ther!! Happy birth-
day!! ..and a happy new year!"
■ Mark-where are your Scotch
eggs? I haven’t seen them in
ages.
■ Emma - we swear, you
haven’t got CJD, I’m sure
there’s another cause for your
throat infections!!
■ Brown haired pinstripe
trouser girl whom I danced
with on fri by speakers nr
Hari’s bar. Je t’aime!
■ Pinstripe trouser girl be
dancing midnight same place
this friday. From green
chequed shirt man.
■ Who do you prefer, Daddy
or chips?
■ Happy 21st Birthday
Heather the Feather!
■ Thanks to all the footie lads
who came allong to support
Reverend Brown on the
19th....nice one!
■ Er... oh yes thanks to every-
one else who came along too
■ When can we see Reverend
Brown again? The dogs dan-
gly bits! - I think so!
■ MARY HOLD THE CAN-
DLE WHILE I SHAVE THE
CHICKENS LIP -Rich
■ Heath, are you having 21
Piercings to celebrate?-Z
■ Nina and Glynis, our second
mum’s- you are the best clean-
ers ever and weall think you are
great. Welcome back love
eveyone in house 66.
■ Marigolds thankyou for
everyting, you are my lucky
star, my saviour and Ilove you.
■What time is our lecture with
Freud Charlie?
9
■ Hello Al,Cheer up!-The
Bringer Of Good News.
■ Hello Fox, I think you are
great!-TBOGN
■ Library Restaurant on a sat-
urday-love the ginger
one(blonde?)
■ Ziggy has an ickle pecker
■ SKI OR DIE!!!!!!!!
■ No really, I love Pernod...
■ Anyone seen a Smurf hang-
ing around Twyford?
■ Cor... that roast, shame about
the windy effects afrterwards
though.
■ God damn Sam it jam
■ On the piste: “Ooh
hello......click, click, splat!”
■ Off piste: what happened to
our french friends - No shirt,
feeler and body guard.
■ At least we didn’t fall for
that old line “Trust me i’m a
doctor” !!
■ What’s white, goes BAA and
floats down the river?
■ Sheep for sale (when bird
gets better), one carefull
owner!
■ Heather, Have a Luminous
Yellow 21st Birthday!
■ Tax rebate or a nice salmon?
■ Wall missing several bricks,
please return. The builders
■ Pickard 3, the war of the
dishes is on.
■ Fraggle, did you manage to
satisfy your new found friend?
■ Come marvel at the amazing
west country Pig Boy in the
Physics dept. now!
■ Andy was just a normal stu-
dent untill he ate the Tesco
value pork..
■ And now Pig boy will roam
the union forever. Will Ewe be
his next victim? (after Nula)
■ Heens (Little Miss Kinky)
Hope you don’t have a bolloxy
shit birthday..plum breath!
Love, Nish xxxx
■ Heena J. is officially
old!!!!!!!! .... but still kinky!
From, LMR
■ I am too Feeble
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49
10 Films, Reviews & Previews
Bulworth (18)
Out Now
Director: Warren Beatty
Starring: Warren Beatty,
Halle Berry, Oliver Platt,
Paul Sorvino
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE Special
(15) Out Now
DIRECTOR: John Madden
STARRING: Joseph
Fiennes, Gwyneth Paltrow,
Ben Aflek and many more.
hakespeare’s classic
S tale of the pain and
pleasure of over-
whelming true love is given
new life in the shape of a
screenplay by Tom
Stoppard and Marc
Norman. The script posi-
tively sparkles with origi-
nality as the story of
William Shakespeare
(Joseph Fiennes) as a young
playwright suffering from
writers block and in need of
a muse, unfolds on screen.
As if by magic, Viola
(Gwyneth Paltrow) appears
and decides upon a career
on the stage and infiltrates
Shakespeare’s new play
arol Harrison
C (Louise Simmonds
in Eastenders)
Carol, much smaller in real
life, had much to say about
British Film and
Television....
Carol commented on the
recent rise and rise of the
British film and talked of
how people should be more
appreciative of UK
talent/film industry. She had
just seen ‘Little Voice’ and
Page 10 (1,1)
arren Beatty co-
W writes, produces,
directs and stars
in an entertaining comedy
filled with plenty of laughs
and political bite. It’s the
build up to the mid-term
election and Senator
Jay Billington
Bulworth (Beatty) is
the victim of a ner-
vous breakdown.
Completely flipped
out, he decides to
take out a contract on
his own life and sub-
sequently becomes
liberated from any
need to put on a fake
smile in front of the
public. Bulworth
stuns his staff, back-
ers and the media by
‘Romeo and Ethel’ by pre-
tending to be a bloke. In no
time at all Will and Vi fall in
love, and she becomes his
inspiration. However,
beneath all the bawdy
humour and parody of
Englishness, there are
moments of true pathos and
real depth as the star-
crossed lovers superbly por-
trayed by Fiennes and
Paltrow, realise that
inevitably, their true love is
doomed to failure.
While a passing knowledge
of the story of ‘Romeo and
Juliet’ may help in your
appreciation of the film, the
energetic screenplay, perfor-
mances and faultless set and
costumes in this Anglo-
American picture would be
enjoyable even if you’d
never heard of Shakespeare.
8/10 Laura Knight
was thoroughly looking for-
ward to seeing ‘Shakespeare
in Love’.
She is currently working
back on Eastenders and
assures us of some up-and -
coming dramatic plot lines,
although she refused to give
anything away. She claimed
to be nothing like her char-
acter, but said that ‘Louise’
is an excellent character to
play and probably one of the
most complicated in any of
the UK soaps, “she just has
so many levels”.
She didn’t feel at
all intimidated by
the cast of
Eastenders when
she joined as
they were all so
friendly and wel-
coming, just like
one big happy
family. She said
she felt like she’d
been in
Eastenders forev-
er, but that was-
n’t a criticism.
chucking out his prepared
speeches and telling the
truth about political sleaze
and corruption. During this
time, he falls for black
activist Nina (Berry), and
after following her back to a
south-central hip-hop club,
learns how to rap (pretty
badly), and scratch records
(very badly). From then on
all of his potentially radical
bulletins are delivered in
rhyme. His cocaine-sniffing
spin-doctor Murphy (Platt)
looks on appalled, but vot-
ers actually love his honest
political angle. Happily sur-
prised with his new-found
popularity, Bulworth
decides to call off the hit
man, but finds out that he
might be too late. This is a
Ex-Neighbours Star “Lauren
Carpenter”
David Parfitt
(Shakespeare in love
Producer)
We are seated in the largest
Odeon theatre, having just
watched Shakespeare in
Love. Aside from the
Guildford bourgeois coterie
cum hoi polloi, there are a
smattering of journalists and
interested parties to ask
questions...
Q: How has the script
changed from the original
idea that was developed 5
years ago?
A: Well, Julia Robbers was
going to play the part of
Viola and I think that that
would have meant a very
different film. The script
itself has been significantly
changed and polished up by
Tom Stoppard, in fact
there’s not a lot of Marc
Norman’s original script
left!
Q: Why did you put
Gwyneth Paltrow in as the
leading lady? Were you try-
ing to attract an American
audience for what is pre-
dominantly a British film?
Thursday 4th February 1999 n
slick, brave film which
admiringly uses sharp wit
and humour to break down
complex political points and
feed them to the viewer in
easy bite-size portions.
Beatty is impressive both
behind and in front of the
camera, providing the
laughs, but also grabbing
one’s attention with striking
sentimental moments. He
openly attacks the system
from the inside. This is
probably a reason why this
film bombed in the U.S. It’s
a shame really, sometimes
you have to wonder if
Hollywood actually realises
when it produces films of
this quality.
8/10 Andrew Smith
A: No! I actually think of
Gwyneth as an honorary
Brit! Remarkably she isn’t
as well known in America
as she is here because
‘Sliding Doors’ did very lit-
tle business in the states and
so this file is really seen as
her ‘coming of age’ film in
America.
Q: What do the Golden
Globes mean to you?
A: They’re absolutely fan-
tastic! We genuinely didn’t
expect to get 6 nominations,
especially as the film was
released so late and we did-
n’t think that all of the judg-
ing panel would be able to
see it in time. The awards
certainly help with all the
marketing and promotion,
especially in the states.
Q: If the film is so predomi-
nantly British why did you
choose to premier it in
America?
A: No one reason in particu-
lar, these things can go
either way.
Q: Was it a lot more expen-
sive than ‘Madness of King
George’ which you also
produced?
A: Oh yes! Madness cost
about $8 million whereas
‘Shakespeare in Love’ cost
about $25 million. This is
mainly because of all the
sets we had to produce,
recreating Elizabethan
England is a very expensive
business.
Q: How long did it take to
shoot?
A: About 17 weeks, which
is quite a long time!!
The Dracula Spectacula
Electric Theatre
From Wed 10th Feb to Sat
13th Feb (matinee Sat).
he University of
T Surrey G&S Society
returns to the Electric
Theatre this year with the
spooky comedy musical The
Dracula Spectacula, by John
Gardiner and Andrew Parr.
Meet sweet young school
teacher Miss Nadia Naïve
and her pupils as they travel
to Transylvania
encounter a number of
and
unique individuals. The evil
Count and his partners in
crime have taken an interest
in our visiting friends, but
perhaps our hero Prof. Nick
Necrophiliac and his com-
panions can save them ...
Tickets are £5/6 for adults and
£3.50/4.50 for children and stu-
dents are available from the
Electric Theatre, Onslow St.,
Guildford, GU1 4SZ ( backing
on to the river, between the
new Weatherspoons pub and
Video Review: Dark City
.Dir: Alex Proyas. Starring:
Rufus Sewell, Richard O’Brien,
Ian Richardson
I
t is one of the oddities of
life that in these days of
cinemas with more screens
than Cannes, smaller films
should be pushed aside. Surely
all films are created equal? The
likes of Godzilla or Titanic are
fine but surely one screen could
be set aside for more interest-
ing stuff that hasn’t rolled off
the Hollywood treadmill?
Anyway, what this spiel is lead-
ing to is the fact that many of
you will have missed one of the
more intelligent action films of
last year, Dark City. It starts
with the premise of a dying
race with the ability to alter the
physical world by will alone,
and builds it into a sinister and
breathtaking vista of imagina-
tion. The story kicks off with a
man who has lost his memo-
ries, played by Rufus Sewel.
Visions of long ago trouble him
and the mysterious Strangers,
led by Richard O’Brien as Mr.
Hand, haunt him, as he tries to
discover who he is. But the city
and the people in it seem as
nebulous as his memories ; and
the only clues to his past life
lead him to realise that he was
the round Midland Bank).
Telephone bookings on
(01483) 444789. Or come to
the University of Surrey
Students’ Union Reception any
weekday between 1 and 2pm.
The show involves a cast of
about 35 actors, singers and
dancers, plus a 5 piece band (all
members of the university). It’s
the second show we’ve done at
the Electric Theatre (in 1997
we put on Little Shop of
Horrors there, just after the
theatre first opened, and in
1998 we put on Chess in the
University Hall). The director
is Viv Vignoles (musical direc-
tor of Little Shop), the musical
director is Fiona Wareham
(lead role as Florence in Chess)
and the choreographer is Kelda
West (director of Little Shop).
We are very pleased to be
expanding as a society this
year, with a large number of
talented new members, includ-
ing technical crew and design-
ers as well as performers.
once a murderer.
Although the amnesiac idea has
been seen a few times before,
the plot of the film hangs well
together, with the incredible
events being explained very
satisfyingly. Despite this it is a
little confusing at times, partic-
ularly with some of the support
who are too indistinct to have
much impact when they appear.
Despite this the strength of the
narrative injects this film with a
succulent tension.
The main strength of this film
is its creation of atmosphere.
The design of the literally spi-
ralling city is phenomenal, as is
the huge underground realm of
the Strangers. Although Sewel
is a little dry as the lead charac-
ter, he performs the role ade-
quately. Sutherland and
O’Brien, however, are great to
watch and it is their perfor-
mances that draw the viewer in.
If you want mystery, action and
intelligent science fiction (well,
more intelligent than having
Godzilla hide in the under-
ground railway system), then
this is definitely a film to rent.
If you want a collection of
explosions, get Starship
Troopers. 9/10
Steven Alexander
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:49 Page 11 (1,1)
n Thursday 4th February 1999
Surrey Pride Star Profile
Number 11, Holly James Sports Shorts
Brazil stay top in
new
FIFA rankings
Brazil remained top of
FIFA’s world rankings pub-
lished by world soccer’s
governing body last week.
World champions France
are second, while Germany
have slipped back to fifth
place from third. Italy,
moving up four places, and
Croatia, who reached the
Vital Stats; semi-finals of the World
Cup last year after beating
Age: 21
Germany in the quarters,
Dept: SBS are joint third. Among the
Nicknames: Hotlips, Slugger, Welsh Rarebit big risers are Portugal, up
Measurements: 5’3.5”
19 places to 17th; Belgium,
Sporting Interests (and why?): Football (because it’s a woman’s up 14 to 21st, and Bulgaria,
game!) up 19 places to 30th. Wales,
Marital Status: Allegedly settling down (under??) up 23 places to 74th are the
biggest risers in the top 100.
Big fallers include
Personal Info; Yugoslavia, down 10 to
What is your favourite feature? 16th, Japan, down 13 to
My ability to look innocent, when I’m as guilty as hell [funny the 33rd, and Iran down 19 to
proportion of female Surrey Stars who claim this trait!! - Sports Ed.] 46th. England slipped out
What do you go for in a man? Firm bum, nice eyes (Hardly selective, of the top ten and now sit in
eleventh place.
that could be half the blokes on campus!)
Favourite Drink? Anything cheap and nasty (Again...)
Schumacher down-
Favourite Food? Haagen Das - ice cream
Favourite Music? Stereophonics
Sporting Info:
What does Surrey Sport give you?
plays
Ferrari’s chances
Michael Schumacher
played down his and
Hangovers, poor attendance to Thursday lectures, a beer belly and no
Ferrari’s chances of win-
dents in my reputation whatsoever! [Cheers, Gav! - Sports Ed.] ning this year’s Formula
What is your; One world championship
but underlined his devotion
most memorable moment in Surrey Sport?
to the Italian team. The
Being awarded 1st team player of the year in my first year at Uni (and
German, who has finished
many thanks to all the blokes that voted)
runner-up in the world title
funniest moment you can recall from your days at Surrey? chase for the past two sea-
Getting so pissed that I (went home with Spooner??) couldn’t get into sons, said there was no
Bo’s, returned home, smashed a window to get in and then hid in the guarantee his fourth season
electricity cupboard for half the night as I thought we had been broken with the outfit would be any
in to! more successful than his
worst injury? Cuts and abrasions from the above incident! past efforts. Schumacher
added that he was not
worst STD?
tempted by big-money
none (nothing ventured, nothing gained, as my Gran used to say!)
offers from rival teams and
Do you have any sporting superstitions? Always try and look for two
that his devotion was in
magpies before a game (2 for a boy, sorry joy!) winning the world champi-
How does Surrey Sport affect your Social/Private life? onship with Ferrari. The last
It gives me a social life and occasionally dabbles in my private life! Ferrari driver to win the
Is sex better before or after sport? Formula One crown was
Always before, I’m far too knackered after [I’m not bloody surprised if Jody Scheckter in 1979
you’re shagging before kick off! - Sports Ed.]
Who is your sporting role model? J.P.R. Williams (apparently THE .Heckler removed
most famous Welsh rugby player of all time!) after being found
Which sports personality would you most like to meet? with gun
Neil Jenkins, because he’s so lovely (Welsh rugby no. 10), [and the first A fan heckling Tiger Woods
nine?? - Sports Ed.) at the Phoenix Open was
Sum yourself up in 3 words? Little Miss Innocent arrested after police discov-
CJ’s nominated question; As someone similarly falsely accused of a ered a handgun concealed
string of drunken encounters with opposite sex how does it feel to on his person. The man, who
is yet to be identified fol-
have to sneak across Campus on Thursday mornings in BoJ’s
lowed Woods, for four holes
clothes, hoping that people don’t get the wrong idea? Obviously this
on the final round of the
is an extreme case of mistaken identity. I’m far too innocent for any of
tournament. He was yelling
that!
at Woods and using abusive
language near the tee areas
Now that you are a Star of the Pride, which question would you like
when officers, who were
added to the profile list for next weeks Star, Welsh Windsurfing hero,
assigned to follow Woods,
Adam Bowen? Were your Mallet & Balls worthy of the applause
told him to be quiet. The
after a post BO’s match of Croquet? heckler, who had been
drinking, became belligerent
Thankyou, Miss James, who, for all those would be Romeo’s, has now taken and persisted, even though
officers identified them-
herself off the market shelf, for a new life on the piste and secret rendezvous
selves. He was booked on
avoiding Club meetings in the Library Restaurant. Holly has taken more than
suspicion of aggravated
her fair share of stick over the last semester (I’ll leave that one with you for a
assault, then released pend-
second!) and is jetting off for a new life in New Zealand for her Industrial Year
ing submission of the
(No change in the Sheep/Bird ratio’s there then!). She leaves us with a dubious-
charges to the courts.
ly anonymous question for Adam, who amongst many things is famous for his
love of our Sports Officers leftovers and a Grande night out rekindling old
flames in Brighton! Take up the sail, Mr. Bowen.
Broncos win a sec-
ond straight Super
Bowl title
The Denver Broncos, who
fell short in their pursuit of
a perfect season, settled for
a near-perfect Super Bowl
on Sunday, dominating the
Atlanta Falcons for a 34-19
win and their second
straight NFL champi-
onship. Playing in perhaps
his final game, Denver
quarterback John Elway
earned MVP honours. On a
night when the Falcons
offence needed 58 minutes
to find the end zone, the
Broncos spent plenty of
time there.
Kafelnikov,
captures
Australian Open
Yevgeny Kafelnikov, side-
lined by strange accidents
the past two years, only had
to keep his body intact this
time to capture a weakened
men's tournament on
Sunday and gain a second
Grand Slam
Kafelnikov's steady base-
title.
line play gave him a 4-6, 6-
0, 6-3, 7-6 (7-1) victory
over an unusually error-
prone Thomas Enqvist. In a
men's draw diminished by
the absence of the No. 1
Pete Sampras, the pathetic
play of Andre Agassi, and
the early knockout of other
top players, the No. 10
Kafelnikov emerged as
champion almost by default.
The Russian played well, if
unspectacularly, in the final,
to add the Australian title to
the French Open champi-
onship he won in 1996.
Hingis walks over
Mauresmo
Martina Hingis held off the
new revolution in women's
tennis, to capture a third
straight Australian Open
title. Hingis' court mastery
shone through as she
repelled the muscular
Amelie Mauresmo to secure
a fifth Grand Slam title.
Mauresmo unleashed the
power that may yet reshape
women's tennis, though not
as long as Hingis can keep
countering with the kind of
inspired performance she
displayed in a 6-2, 6-3 tri-
umph. Mauresmo has taken
the fitness regime to a new
level, pumping iron in the
gym three times a week,
building up her upper arms
and shoulders to the point
where she has the strength
to hit one-handed topspin
backhands as no other
women ever have. This has
been critiscied not least
from Lindsay Davenport
and Martina Hingis, who
are on record saying that
Miss Mauresmo resembled
and played like a man.
Surrey Pride
Volleyball-We Need Players!
Step straight into the BUSA lime-
light with UniS Mens and Womens
Volleyball teams who are both
desperate for players.
The UniS Volleyball club
welcomes players of all
standards and is a fun and social
sports club.
Come on, have some Fun in
the Sun (well, Campusport hall).
Training; Campusport centre
Thursday 6.15 7.30pm, Sundays7.30
9pm
Interested?
Women call Britta on
01483 532967 or
e-mail li81bk@surrey.ac.uk
Men call Dan on ext 4788 or
e-mail cs81db@surrey.ac.uk
First Past the Post
ot quite such a good
N week for me. Cyfor
Malta gave a positive
answer to the many sceptics
who doubted his ability to
stay the Gold Cup distance
when he trotted home in the
Pillar Chase, while com-
ments on Storm Damage
proved true, as he was worth
a place when finishing sec-
ond in the Ladbroke Chase.
GRT YORKSHIRE glitter
isle, CLEEVE HURDLE
grey shot.
A bit more activity coming
up this weekend, with cards
up and down the country,
as well as in Ireland, where
the Hennesy Gold Cup will
be contested at
Leopardstown. Current
Cheltenham Gold Cup
favourite, Florida Pearl,
reappears after his disap-
pointing fall over
Christmas, and he really
needs a good win here to
keep his credibility. If we
are going to look else-
where, one could find a
worse choice than Danoli.
Three from this side of the
Irish Sea will be making
the trip, Escartefigue, who
has not realised any of the
promise he showed in his
novice year, Addington
Boy, not getting any better
with age, and National win-
ner Earth Summit. It’s pos-
sible that the former may
gain a place, but many have
been waiting for him to
turn it on this year.
At Sandown, Hoh Express
may well follow up his
recent success over the high-
ly regarded Fanfaron in the
Scilly Isles Novice chase,
over two and a half miles.
Irish youngster, Torduff
Express, has run well in
some good races, and should
make the frame to prove
11
by Eddie
good each way value in the
Agfa Diamond Chase. It will
be interesting to see if
Teaatral continues his
improvement after having
stepped up in distance in the
2 ¾ mile Tote Sandown hur-
dle, although Mr. Percy
might be a safer bet. The
Singer and Friedlander
National Trial at Uttoxeter
has been a good race for
Grand National hopefuls in
the past. Lord Gyllene
should run better for his
racecourse reappearance,
and won both races in ‘97,
although may still be lacking
fitness, especially under top
weight. I take Fiddling The
Facts to gain revenge on the
Welsh National winner,
Kendal Cavalier, over the 3
½ trip. Meanwhile, at
Wetherby, Tonoco has run
encouragingly in bumpers,
and transferred that form
over the sticks, and I expect
him to take the Rossington
Main Novice hurdle.
Jockey sponsorship is one
the big talking points at the
moment. Last Monday was
the first day on which riders
were allowed to bear slo-
gans on their breeches, and
although none were cleared
to do so on the first day,
several top National Hunt
jockeys have already been
signed up, and others are on
the verge. Faucets, a bath-
room company, are hopeful
of striking an arrangement
with the Jockey Association
in time for the Cheltenham
Festival in March.
However, they would like
as many jockeys as possible
to be emblazoned with the
company name, and it is
looking increasingly unlike-
ly that the desired 70% of
top jockeys will agree to the
blanket deal, as individuals
seek out more lucrative per-
sonal packages.
ed990204.qxd 03/02/99 15:50 Page 12 (1,1)

Surrey Pride
Super Sports Day The Wind of Change
in aid of Imperial Cancer Research Paul Cliff, Sports Editor
ll good things must porarily and begin his reign in

A
ust in case you missed this Unihoc

J
the first time round, I’ll
mention it again. We now
potentially have teams from
Sainsbury’s, Vodafone,
Ericson (strong contenders!),
Union Exec, Forte Hotels,
Civil Engineering
Department, Waterpolo,
Rugby club, Spiers 1 etc.
amongst others! So why not
badger your Department,
friends, course, court (Stag
Hill, Twyford etc!) into enter-
ing a team! O.K, so £75
pounds each may scare you!
But if you don’t make the
grade, but show you tried we
won’t put you in the slammer
and throw away the key, its a
target, with prizes for those
who raise over £100! It’s
going to be a great day out, all
are welcome to watch, with
various papers snapping
away! By the way, keep your
eyes peeled on Carlton ITV on
the 22nd of February at
approximately 1pmish and
just after 6.25pm for a pro-
gram about our day, showing
to 1.2m people!!
We are looking for enthusias-
tic mixed teams of six people
comprising from friends from
your floor, work, department,
home, family etc (male and
female) to play the following
sports:
(6 team members)
Basketball
(6 team members)
Football
(6 team members)
Archery or Table Tennis
(4 team members)
Climbing or Tennis
(4 team members)
All teams will play in the uni-
hoc, basketball and football
tournaments. Teams can then
choose between archery or
table tennis and climbing or
tennis. Prizes for the highest
(and lowest!) scoring teams
will be awarded at the end of
the day at a special prize cere-
mony.
Look out for the Surrey Supporters on ITVCarlton on 22nd February at 1pm
and approx 6.25pm.
The entries are open to local
businesses, clubs and the pub-
lic. This in itself will be seen
as a positive step to integrat-
ing the local community with
the University through a
sporting social event.
All we ask for is that each per-
son tries raise at least £75
each, that’s just three or four of
your friends or families (mum,
dad, grannies etc) pledging £10
and another ten or so people
(brothers, sisters or floor
mates!) giving £3 or £4, the
price of a couple of pints!
There will be t shirts available
for each team member that
raises over £100 and a prize
for the highest fund-raising
team - so good luck!
If you are interested in enter-
ing a team for the day or wish
to have a chat about the chari-
ty then come to the Sports
Office in the Students’ Union
and see Alex or Gemma or
any of the Sabbaticals for
information. Alternatively
call on x 9981 or 259981. Or
collect a form and return it to
the Union Reception or
Barefacts Office as soon as
possible. Helpers are also
needed, joining our Students
Sub committee in organising
the day!
come to an end, as the
bottle washer said to
the Bishop, and the Union
Sabbaticals begin to feel a
similar sense of impending
unemployment as the Election
campaigns get into full swing
this week. I vividly remember
speaking to Cazza at this time
last year and she became
somewhat irate as candidates
frequently visited her office
and left her angrily rearrang-
ing vital desk ornaments and
filing systems that they had
subtly suggested ‘could do
with a bit of a sort out!’ Even
now, you can almost see the
sparkle ebb from Langley’s
eyes as his prospective
replacements eye up the decor
in his room and mentally tear
down the sun-yellowed tat
posters which adorn the
Mecca of interior design that
is known as the Sports Office.
Similar feelings of fait accom-
pli must have been echoing
through the corridors of
power at Lancaster Gate, as
the F.A. seemed to endlessly
ponder the Glenn Hoddle
Karma comments, put off
since 12pm Tuesday, to be
finally announced at 7pm as
Gordon Taylor, rather gravely
announced the inevitable
news that Hoddle would no
longer continue in his position
as England manager. Head of
Development, Howard
Wilkinson, will take over tem-
the friendly against World
Champions France. Despite
regrets on both sides, the out-
come is surely no surprise to
most, after what has been a
period of office sadly tainted
with scandal regarding
Glenn’s opinions on many
things other than football.
Still, the press made the most
of any opportunity to sell
papers with the usual mind-
less prospectus. Throughout
the wait, as is the mentality of
the press, speculation ranged
from not only exhaustive lists
of people to take over, but
some sources resorted to
guessing personnel changes
for the squad to face France in
Hoddle’s absence.
Thankfully, as with Hoddle’s
situation, the Election ques-
tions will also be swiftly
answered as the candidates
line up for Hustings next
week on Monday 8th and
Thursday 11th. Make sure
you attend to have your say
and grill the candidates, and
especially to support the fel-
las who will suffer the most
stagefright on the night, the
Comperes, your loveable BF
Editor and his Sporty
Sidekick - We’re $#!tt!n’ our-
selves!
You Hungover? Lets Hope
You’re Drunk on Pride
After Yesterdays BUSA
Demolitions!

World Champion leads

UniS to another win.
niS Guildford had Lloyd-Walter and was

U a comfortable
win against Lee
on Solent, by four ties to
only able to trouble the
score by six points.

one. The match was Steve Meads, the veteran

clinched by veteran and
former World Champion
– Ross Norman, who beat
Clive Ewins, of Lee on
Solent, by 3 games to one.
This was an untroubled
match win for Ross
Norman, who displayed
the skills of a former
World Champion, a dis-
play that overwhelmed
his opponent.
Adrian Grant and John
Russell, the two young
stars of the future for
Guildford, both won
comfortably by 3 games
to 0. Once a gain, giving
the Guildford supporters
at the Varsity Centre, an
insight to their potential.
Lisa Stephen, another
young prospect for
Guildford, was complete-
ly overwhelmed by Lee
on Solent’s Dominique
campaigner who had just
recently arrived back
from America, where he
had played in the
‘Tournament of
Champions’ in New
York – Grand Central
Station, won a scrappy
and rather Let strewn
match against the fiery
Nathan Duggan.
UniS Guildford have
now consolidated their
position at the top of the
table and look forward to
their next match, which
will be a top of the table
clash at home to
Chichester, on the 9
February. Tickets are
available for this match,
but early booking is
advisable as it will
inevitably will be a sell
out
.by Mustapha Rally’s
mate.