Common App

Eagen

Keiran

As the cold and unforgiving classroom chair started to feel as though it might
eventually grow bearable, I wouldve given anything in the world to be back in my
own bed, surrounded by my pillows and blankets. That was all a distant dream now.
I was surrounded by a bunch of nervous, hormonal teenagers who would soon
become my high school family, my Animas High School family to be exact. Some of
this group would soon become close companions, others simply classmates, but
both groups would aid in making some of my most cherished memories and biggest
revelations.
The school's goal was to put learning in a meaningful light, to make real world
connections instead of reading about them in a textbook, and to gain skills and
knowledge that were useful in the workplace, not just the standardized tests that
must be taken every once in a while. To me it sounded like the perfect way to
escape my traditional textbook-filled middle school education. Whether or not my
classmates and I knew it at the time, we were all challenging the educational norms
of not just our small town but the whole country.
I had joined the education movement that focused on projects and research that I
never imagined on that first day of school. Studying the rhetoric of the presidential
election for half a semester during junior year, which led me to realizing my political
orientation, was an eye opening experience. This study of rhetoric not only led to
the discovery of my political orientation, it helped me reach some more personal
realizations. I would come into my advisors room almost every day and flop down
into the chair next to her desk and would tell her of all the thoughts bouncing
around in my head. I would tell her about the most recent debate or maybe about
the latest bit of satire from Jon Stewart. If a classmate said something that seemed
totally outlandish, we could discuss it. Most importantly, we would talk about the
discussions between my dad and I that occasionally got heated and how I was
nervous about what I had started to identify with politically.
My new-found political identity put me in a position that made me uncomfortable. I
was uncertain about this new political affiliation because it was the exact opposite
of that of my parents. Young adults seem to strive for a different way of doing things
than their parents. Separating my political leanings from that of my family changed
one of the ways I used to define it. With that label no longer relevant to the whole
but rather just a part, the transition was difficult. To me it felt like a step of mental
independence because I was accepting that I wasnt sure about this new part of my
identity but I knew I had to embrace it.
So as the cold, hard, unforgiving classroom chair started to warm up to my body
heat, I took a deep breath and found comfort in the fact that I knew I had made the
right decision and I would make it again if I had the chance. I felt it when I walked in
the building, even though I wanted to return to the comfort of my home, that this
school was a place that would make being outside of my comfort zone a
comfortable place to be. Animas was the school for me. I wanted that push, and for
what felt like the first time ever, I had just been given clearance to go outside the

box and dream bigger than I ever had before. What started as unintentionally
challenging educational norms led me to challenging my notions about myself.
Reflection
During this writing I grew in my ability to adapt. Multiple sources of critique
were coming into my mental feed and I wasnt sure which to follow. I chose to try
and adapt my essay to what the one source was saying in order to, hopefully,
improve it. The ability to adapt as a human but also in writing is a good skill. At
least I could see it being a good skill. Like if there was a zombie apocalypse or if the
apes and orangutans took over. The second and third paragraphs were all about
Animas. Well the second one was. The third was a broad overview of what I had
done while I was there. This excerpt, We all came to Animas High School for a
reason, to experience education in a new way. The school's goal was to put learning
in a meaningful light, to make real world connections instead of reading about them
in a textbook, and to gain skills and knowledge that were useful in the workplace,
not just the standardized tests that must be taken every once in a while. captures
that lack of me ness in the essay and how I talked more about the school. The
issue with that was the essay didnt show enough of who I was. I needed to go into
more detail and show more about what I am like as a person. Colleges can look at
transcripts and test scores all they want but they sure dont paint a Van Gogh about
someones personality. My classmates feedback was nothing extreme that required
major change in the text. Certainly switching sentences and words so that it would
flow better is revision but nothing like completely changing the third paragraph. The
feedback received from Lori showed something that was truly pressing and needed
to be remedied. Saying that the essay didnt show enough about me is something
that was really good to know since the whole point of the essay, as I said before, is
to tell the admissions officer who I am. In the paragraph were I originally talked
about Animas High School it now looks like this, I would come into my advisors
room almost every day and flop down into the chair next to her desk and would tell
her of all the thoughts bouncing around in my head. Quite a change from the
original considering that it was about the school and not about me personally and
the things that I have done to grow and answer the prompt. In order to make this
change I just highlighted and deleted. Gave myself a fresh bit of paper to fix that
part. I took the feedback that was given and said make something that fits this and I
tried my best to do just that. To a certain extent I think that it kind of needs more
work. Which is fine considering that until I apply I can change this essay as much as
I want.