The Online Dating Bible

By Eric Lercara

DatePerDaytm
www.DatePerDay.com

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Finally, use your head. Nothing in this eBook is intended to replace common sense,
legal, medical or other professional advice, and is meant to inform and entertain
the reader. So have fun with the The Online Dating Bible, and Be Attractive!
Copyright 2010 Date Per Day. All rights reserved worldwide.
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Table of Contents
Part I.
How to Have An Online Dating Profile That Gets You Dates

pg 4

Part II.
The 24 Hidden Tricks of Online Dating

pg 26

Bonus:
How To Handle The Early Stages of Dating

pg 44

Bonus:
Online Dating Questionnaire

pg 51

Part I. How to Have a Winning Dating

Profile

In an online profile you have anywhere from 2 to 5 paragraphs to convey

that you are a high-value, desirable guy.

Thats not much.

But its a lot more than the approximately 5 seconds you have in person
the amount of time it takes for a girl to tell if youre date-worthy or
not.

When you think of it that way, 2 to 5 paragraphs isnt bad. Theres a lot
you can stuff in there.

The vast majority of guys do the absolute wrong thing with these 2 to 5
paragraphs. Most guys qualify themselves by talking about themselves.

You NEVER want to qualify yourself. This point is so important it bears

repeating.

NEVER qualify yourself.

If youre not familiar with the term qualify, heres a simple definition: to
qualify means to try to prove oneself to. In this case, to an attractive
girl. And online, its to a girl youve never met before.

In society, it is always the lower status person who tries to prove himself
to the higher status person. For example, the person interviewing for a
job tries to impress the boss, the younger person tries to impress the
older person, and the child tries to get the approval of the parent.

With women, you never want to be in the lower status position. As soon
as you put yourself in that position, the woman will almost never feel
attracted to you. But thats a much wider topic thats already been
covered elsewhere.

For our purposes, the point to remember is that you never want to
qualify yourself in an online profile. If youll bear with me for a little
6

theory, Ill show you how not to do that. And, then Ill show you what to
do.

Decoding Attraction

Women have a powerful decoding mechanism. It is almost like they can

decipher a guys entire being through the way he expresses himself. Just
by reading few sentences, they are able to tell if a guy is high status or
not (they can also tell if hes confident, funny, interesting, or none of the
above.)

Conveying high value in an online profile is essential. Most guys

instinctively know this, so they brag a little bit. They play up their
material possessions, graduate degrees, and other symbols of status.
Bragging is a TERRIBLE way to show high status.

The problem is that in girl language, bragging equates to qualifying.

She knows youre trying to impress her, and for that reason, it wont.

(You also cant try to be humble and downplay yourself. That conveys
low self-esteem, which is the ABSOLUTE WORST thing you can do.)

Ive found that you have to convey high value not just claim it for
yourself. The way to do that is by expressing yourself, rather than
talking about, or bragging about, yourself.

On the next page are some examples of talking about yourself versus
expressing yourself.

Talking about yourself

Expressing yourself

Im adventurous

Theres this amazing beach in

......Hawaii I love to go to when I
have the time.

I work out a lot

The gym is my after-work

refuge.

Whenever you talk about yourself, it registers in the female brain that
you are qualifying yourself. It is the same online as it is in real life. In
real life, a guy who analyzes himself almost always loses attraction with
a woman. Imagine a guy going up to a girl and talking about how much

money he has. It doesnt work! Whenever you try to impress a girl, it has
the opposite effect.
It is no different on online dating sites. The reason so many guys fail to
get this point is probably because the way the system is set up. Its called
About Me, it makes sense guys think they should talk about
themselves.

Well, most guys are unfortunately wrong. The good thing is, there is
really no competition out there once you know what you are doing. If
you read through guys online profiles like I suggested, you saw that
most guys do nothing but write about themselves.

There is an alternative. The alternative is to express yourself in an

interesting way. Its the same as in a conversation at a bar or on a date.
The worst conversations are interviews where you take turns sharing
your life stories, where you are from, what you do, etc. Whenever you
get into interview mode when with a women, then forget it. She will
lose interest fast.
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What makes a conversation interesting? The personality you convey.

The stories you tell. The opinions you express. These are what invite a
woman into your world and let her catch a glimpse of the mystery of
who you are. It sounds cheesy, but that is what women get off on.

The next problem is not having unique opinions and impressions of the
world. The solution to that is to sit down and think about it. There is a
simple exercise below that will help with that. Everybody has a unique
way of seeing the world. If expressing opinions is difficult for you,
practice doing it more often. When you walk around the street, take
notice of things that you like and that you dont like. When you read a
magazine or watch a movie, think about how it affects you and verbalize
it. As you do this on a regular basis, it will become easier and more
natural.

Another benefit of having strong opinions is that it conveys strength.

Women want a strong man physical strength doesnt matter. They want
a man who is internally validated. That means he does not seek the
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approval of others. The simplest way internal validation shows through

is when somebody conveys a strong opinion one that others may
disagree with.

For example, suppose you are in a room full of cat lovers, and you prefer
dogs. Saying so would put you out there on the edge, risking your status
in the peer group. You must have some strength to be able to do that;
most people would be afraid to be cast out of the group.

Expression opinions in an online profile has the same effect. If you say,
I like McDonalds hamburgers, for Gods sakes, how many women out
there fuss over their health! Actually, you can go far with something like
this, because it is so obvious you are NOT trying to impress a woman,
that it actually will impress her. Most guys try way too hard to impress.

Youll find that when you fearlessly express yourself, women will try to
impress you with similar acts of conversational bravado. That is because
they want to show that they can also go against the grain.
12

Other times they will just agree with you, which is their way of building
rapport with you (trying to get you to like them). Dont make fun of
them for this; it is a good thing and you dont want to discourage it. You
can reward them: (Im glad you have good taste.) Or better yet, just
play it cool like you are used to having people agree with you.

13

Opinion Forming Exercise:

To come up with ways to express yourself, first write down 5 things you
really like to do.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)

Next, write down 5 opinions you have that are unique to you.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)

14

Next, write down 5 unique things that annoy you.

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)

Use the more interesting, unique, or funny ones to write your profile.

15

Sample Profiles with Commentary

Talking about yourself (Weak):

According to my friends I am a fun, understanding, laid-back guy who

is always down for a good time. I like to lay on the sarcasm and it really
doesn't take much to make me laugh a Judd Apatow movie and good
company are more than enough to do the trick. If you really want to get
me pumped on another level though, you should challenge me to an 80's
rock ballad sing and dance-off.

First off, he doesnt even own his own profile. He puts the
responsibility on his friends, which is strange. Did he really ask
his friends?

Fun, understanding, and laid-back are clichs. Worse, they are

things women say they want in a man, so it sounds like he is trying
to impress women qualifying himself.

 It doesnt take much to make me laugh make him seem easy to

please. Women want a challenge. High status guys are hard to
please because they have tons of women trying to please them.
This statement lowers his value considerably.

The last sentence is an attempt at a challenge, but really it makes

him seem like a dancing monkey. Like all she has to do is say a few
words and he will jump around for her.

Versus

Expressing yourself (Strong):

I believe red wine goes better with fish. Harry Potter was a travesty
that young minds shouldn't be subjected to. I want be back in Poipu
beach watching the sun set with a cold beer in my hand. My morning
workout gives me energy all day. My nephew thinks my face is a chew
toy, but I tolerate him... family is family.

 The first sentence is unique and interesting. There is no awkward

introduction, he just jumps into his opinions. Thats a bold
statement right there.
The first sentence goes against the mold. Most people say white
wine is better with fish. So he has his own style, very attractive to
women.
Also, the first sentence conveys class and culture.
The second sentence is also bold and goes against the grain. It is
also humorous.
The third sentence conveys adventurousness and some degree of
success.
The fourth sentence conveys physical strength and vitality.
The fifth sentence conveys humor.

Mystery

Girls crave mystery. The more you say about yourself the less mystery
there is. When you express an opinion, it lets her catch a glimpse into
your world, making her want more. You may not feel like there is a lot
more to you, but women will build up a fantasy about the guys they like.
Nothing kills attraction like talking about yourself, destroying the
mystery.

Humor

All women love to laugh. If you can make her laugh, chances are shell
want to go on a date with you.

The key with a hilarious profile is to keep it consistent. If youre going

to say something sarcastic, she has to know it is sarcasm. If the rest of

your profile is serious, one sarcastic statement will probably be

construed as serious as well, and she might think youre a little off.

Say a bunch of outlandish things, and shell get your sarcasm.

Note: Never use self-deprecating humor.

Hilarious strategies:

1. Make ridiculous demands of your dates

a. E.g. You must have played a competitive sport in high

school. Note cheerleading is not a competitive sport but it
gets an honorable mention.

b. You must be willing to die for me, better yet, kill for me
bonus if you know how to hide a body.

c. E.g. You must know how to sing Use Somebody in three

languages

2. Use the element of surprise

a. Make stream of consciousness statements that dont follow a

logical order: I like the brief periods when it is raining and
sunny at the same time. I like pop rocks. Eddie Vedder can
suck my balls

b. Women respond better to nonsense like this because it

deactivates the logical portion of their brain.

Screeners
Screeners are statements designed to find the particular kind of women
you want. Just as if you were fishing, you wouldnt want to cast your net
so wide that you catch dolphins as well as tuna. If you only want tuna,

youll want to cast the right net. Screener statements let you get only
what youre looking for.
An example of a screener is a statement like, I love a woman who is
comfortable in her soft skin. This kind of statement hopefully would
screen out prudish and insecure types.
You dont want to go overboard and list the things you dont want in a
women. That conveys emotional baggage and makes you appear overly
judgmental. Many guys make this mistake thinking it makes them
appear strong. It only hurts them in the long run.

Self-Respect
The way you talk about yourself says a lot about you. Do you ever use
self-deprecating humor or put yourself down? In that case, you would
greatly diminish your chance of meeting a psychologically healthy
woman. On the contrary, if you write in a style that is active and
confident, and exhibits high self-regard, women will want to get to know
what is so special about you. If you show respect for yourself, then it
follows that you are worthy of respect. I believe there is a secret,

universal law: a woman cannot be attracted to a man she does not

respect.

Scarcity
One of the most important marketing principles is scarcity. If you offer
me a BMW for $20,000, I might buy it. If you say that tomorrow the
price will double, then I will be far more likely to buy it. The fear of
losing the BMW, at that price, would add urgency to my decision.
In the same way, you should create urgency in your profile by using
scarcity. If a woman feels you might be snatched up, then she will be
more inclined to chase you. By presenting yourself as the prize, you
create a similar effect as the BMW in the example.
You convey scarcity by showing your selective taste. Someone who is
selective must have options, or at least that is how the brain perceives it.

Rewards
On a deep level, women want to feel that you will reward them for their
good qualities. They want to know that you find them sexy, attractive,

smart, or whatever quality you see in her that you like. I believe women
secretly crave to be complimented often on their feminine qualities. A
reward is the like the opposite of the screening statement. Youre trying
to let the woman know that if she fits into your criteria, she will be
rewarded and made to feel special. There are subtle ways to plant
rewards into your profile. The above example of soft skin is one such
way. When you show you have selective taste, she will try to qualify
herself to you. When she does that, reward her.

So, to create mystery and humor, and ultimately attraction, and to stand
out from all the guys who talk about themselves, follow the formula
outlined above.

Part II
The 24 Hidden Tricks of Online Dating

Online game can be tricky. My hypothesis as to fundamentally why this

is so: Because the competition is so high. Most guys dont have the balls
to cold approach, but online, even the shyest, most socially inept guy can
craft an e-mail to make himself seem socially competent. Attractive girls
are so overly bombarded with messages that they get exceptionally
picky. Bad photos? Next. Bad grammar? Next. Under 510? Next. Girls
can be incredibly fickle and superficial with online game.

Here is a list of things I have done that have helped me get this down.

1) Read 30 guys profiles in succession. Notice common features and be

sure not to write that.

Do not say that you like travel. Everybody likes travel and for
some reason everybody feels the need to write that.

Do not say that you like new things. Everybody likes new things.

Do not say that you like to have fun and laugh. Everybody likes to
have fun and laugh. Im sure you get the picture.

At the same time, you can say things like I went spelunking in
Sudan once. This implies a love of travel, yet it is a cool story and
avoids using the boring word sequence that triggers a girl to move
to the next profile.

2) Create a fake girl profile of the type of girl you will be going for and
see what messages guys send.

I received 10 emails in the first 48 hrs the fake profile was up. I got
the first after posting the hot photo, but before I even added any
text.

Most guys send lame one-liners.

Most guys use the subject line Hey or No Subject.

Most guys comment about something obvious on her profile.

Most guys try to agree with something she says on her profile.

Most guys come off boring or nice.

3) Pony up for a match.com profile if you want to get the highest quality
girls

OKCupid is pretty good but just havent seen the large number of
quality chicks like with match.

eHarmony seems to just have girls that want to get married.

Try a niche site like Jdate or Ashley Madison. These are

advantageous because there are people who come together for a
common reason. Its like if you are part of a Tennis team
everyone is more likely to bond because they have similar
interests, than say at a bar.

4) Do not spend a huge amount of time e-mailing girls, rather, spend a

lot of time making your profile ridiculously good and let them e-mail
you.

Your profile is like a painting that you can continue to add to and
modify. Continuously tweak and see how it affects your view to
contact ratio.

If you do e-mail the woman, at least make it look like a customized

e-mail you put some thought into. 1-2 paragraphs. About 70% of
messages my fake girl received were one-liners.

I have had 10s e-mail me. I even had a porn star e-mail me. Put
the time in to make a fun, awesome, unique profile.

5) Check your profile and ALL photos you post on your profile with
trusted girls or a female professional at DatePerDay.

If there is even one bad photo of you, girls will assume that is the
accurate one and the others just caught your best angle.

Keep tweaking until female friends say, haha, omg, thats great!

Go to ModelMayhem and get a photographer to take pictures of

you time for print. That means FREE.

Practice smiling in front of the mirror until you get a cocky,

confident smile. Google images of Paul Newman, for example.

Wear a suit in one of your pictures. It is hard not to look puttogether in a decent suit.

6) Be cocky/funny, with fairly high energy level in your profile

I listed a set of commandments of what the girl must be like to

talk to me. This was both funny and sets the frame of me as the
chooser.

Dont be afraid to come off as an asshole, even if it is not you.

The dating profile is an opportunity to explore different parts of
your personality. Theres nothing wrong with exploring the
asshole side of you, in fact, most guys should.

If youre looking for casual sex, dont deny it.

7) If someone hot looks at your profile but doesnt wink or message,

send them a message playfully accusing them of stalking you. They
always respond.

If she winks at you, say: I saw you winked at me; not a bad
move.

8) Dont message them very long before you meet up.

Going beyond 2-3 emails is dangerous high flake rate at that

point. You lose your new car shine and girls just stop responding.

Ive had many times where a girl messages me (youd think it

would be a cake walk), and I still messaged them too long and lost
it. Dont let it happen to you.

While the flake rate off a number close at a bar can be high, Ive
found the online flake when you schedule a meet is very low.

This line is magic for me: I find that you learn more about your
chemistry with a person after 3 minutes talking than days e-mailing
back and forth. Lets meet sometime this week at [public place], so
if you turn out to be crazy I can turn and talk to someone else. :-)"

9) Tease and bust on them, but going too cocky doesnt work very well.

At the same time, almost all messages girls receive are guys
talking about commonalities, being sweet and inquisitive. Bust on
their profile to stand out.

Your profile should be cocky, but when you talk to them online
you have to be laid-back. She cant see you smiling so dont be too
cocky. It will scare her off.

Its the same old thing; being a little bit of a jerk is good, but being
too much of a jerk will get you blown out.

10) Dont comment on the obvious things in their profile.

I made my fake girl a photographer and about 70% of the messages

I got said, what kind of photography do you do? Find a subtle
and funny way to bust on them.

Dont be too curious about them. Too many guys simply ask
questions.

I never mention anything on their profile. Assume that its all B.S.
anyway because shes just trying to attract a guy.

11) Keep an eye out for profiles with no photos.

Very hot girls will sometimes pull their photos in frustration with
the volume of stupid messages they are receiving.

The advantage of messaging a no-photo profile is that you are very

likely to get a response. The disadvantage is that this is playing
minesweeper she might look like Regis Philbin. Look for subtle
hints that she is a hottie, not a Regis.

The longer you can go without asking for a photo, the more she
will think you are building a genuine connection.

I bagged a cute girl two weeks ago doing this.

12) Always pick something light and very public as your first meet up.

Coffee is a good default. I've found a beer can put them into bar
protection shield mode.

Better to pick something public, but fun or adventuresome. Drag

queen brunch on Sunday, a bike ride along a very popular trail,
eating at some unique gelato joint, etc.

It needs to be public for her feeling of safety (though you joke the
reason is so you can easily bail if she is weird). A girl once
suggested I watch the sunrise over the potomac, so I said, "how
about we watch the sunrise over the potomac for our first meet?"
Negatron. Meeting a guy for the first time in a dark park is a bad
idea.

Dont bust your wallet on a girl you dont even know you like.
Shell respect that. If you try to wow her with a fancy dinner, shell
lose respect for you.

13) Float your location if things slow down

A lot of girls only search fairly close to where they live. If you are
cool and they see you are close, they will message you.

I switched my location from DC to northern VA and got a new

flurry of new messages. You might change your location from
Bethesda, to Arlington, to D.C. every couple weeks to keep the

messages coming in. You can say that you just moved away from
that place when you meet, but havent yet updated your profile.
14) If you are short, lie a little

I havent had to deal with this, but one guy I know put in his
profile that he was 2 inches taller than he really was and it wasnt a
big deal. Girls can be picky online so being short can mean instant
dismissal. When you meet in person, she probably wont notice,
but if she does, just laugh it off and you should be fine.

15) While having them message you is ideal, if you are messaging them,
getting a response is 90% of the battle

If a girl responds to your message, she is either automatically ready

to meet, or pretty close, you just need to demonstrate some value,
show humor and propose a meet.

Remember: bust on their profile in a subtle way. E.g. message of

mine yesterday that got a positive response from a girl who
OKCupid reports replies very selectively: What is the religion

of other - I haven't heard of that one. :-) I'm making my own

religion. It's official. But nobody else can join. It is part hindu
karma, part Xenu, part Zoroaster, and part Joe Pesci.

16) Finally, this bears repeating: DONT LOSE YOUR NEW CAR
SMELL

You will eventually figure out when it is appropriate to ask to meet

up, but generally speaking the sooner the better.

When I started I would play the question game for 6-8 emails with
her online While this went OK it was totally unnecessary and I lost
a lot of girls. They just stop responding at some point.

17) Go for girls who have recently joined (often sites will say "new"
next to their profiles).

They always go on a dating splurge and they are usually more open
sexually during this period. After a while, they are dating a guy or

two casually, so they date/message new guys more rarely, but leave
their profile up in case the man of their dreams messages them. It
becomes harder to get their attention the longer they have been on.

Girls are more likely to be in this category with the free sites like
OKCupid, since it doesn't cost them anything to keep the profile
up. It still happens with Match, however.

18) Calibrate the message HEAVILY based upon the profile you see.

In this game we are often trying to find things to say that would
generate a positive response with basically any girl that you
approach. But in online game, you have the advantage of learning
a lot about her before you say anything. But ALL guys have the
same leg up, so she is more discriminating about what the first
message must contain to warrant a response. Unlike a good general
indirect opener in night game, even a hint of mass-emailed
message and you will get wood (not the good kind). Read her
profile carefully to strategize about the message you send.

One general calibration rule of thumb, however: just like in the

club, generally MATCH OR SLIGHTLY EXCEED HER
ENERGY and fun level. If the profile makes her seem kinda
boring, GREATLY exceed her energy level (without being
spastic).

19) Leave bait in the message.

You may have heard of Peacocking. Peacocking in night game

serves the function of giving a girl attracted to you something easy
to comment on if she is going to open you. The hardest thing to do
online is to get them to respond the first time. So leave several
items of irresistible bait for them when cold messaging. Typically
it is ideal to dump 3-5 things that I imagine they would just be
itching to respond to.

Often this amounts to me commenting on things we have in

common, but you just have to be careful not to use boring word

sequences she is likely to have heard before. So don't say, "oh my

Gosh we have so much in common! 1) we've both been to Africa,
2) we both like the new york times..." A lot of guys list
commonalities explicitly like that so its harder to stand out.
Instead, say, "I remember the first time I went to Africa. I was on a
motorcycle in Kruger Park and an elephant chased me at one point!
I saw on National Geographic that the elephant will stop if you
stand your ground, but f that - I wasn't going to test that theory!"
This is saying in a sense that you both have Africa travel in
common, but in a much more interesting way that she will be
dying to comment on.

20) Communicate Non-neediness

Act as if youre an attractive guy that has plenty of options, even if
you arent yet.
Wait a couple days to call once you get her number.
Always try to have several girls you are talking to at the same time.

 This is big: dont wait to message a particular girl until you can
think of the perfect thing to say. No girl is worth putting on a
pedestal like that, especially before you even met. Just treat all
girls equally.

21) Getting laid on the first meet up is pretty common.

One guy asked me: "Are girls online down to have sex? It seems
like they would only be into serious relationships." YES THEY
ARE, WITHOUT ANY DOUBT!!!

It is truly the ideal situation. She has no friends to cockblock. Also

you have a lot of information about her before you even open your
mouth. Long and short of it - if you can get her sexually in state,
you are in on the first or second date.

22) Pick a meetup where you can venue change easily

This is simply GOOD LOGISTICS - e.g. I'll meet someone at a

cafe for some Chinese dumplings, but if things are going well, I'll

say "hey, you seem pretty cool. Let's grab a beer next door. You
down?" They almost always say yes. You can't do this if you meet
up at a place that is out by itself. You can't do this if you are
meeting them on their business lunch. Meet them in the evening.

You dont have to date on Friday or Saturday. Thursday night is

often better.. Friday/Saturday night dates seem to be more serious.
Plus their friends are more likely to hear about it since they are
trying to get her to hang out. For the first date I would rather the
friends not have any idea I exist. The more removed you are from
her social network, the greater the opportunities for the evening.

23) If they message you, how long do you wait to respond?

I usually wait 1 day.

I have waited up to a week a couple times, and it is generally

difficult to get things going again. Girls will only maintain a backand-forth with a couple guys at once. If they have an opening and

message you, your slot will be filled again by some other guy if
you don't respond relatively quickly.

One day is definitely not a hard rule. If I message her and she
responds within an hour, I will respond within an hour as well (this
is called Mirroring). She is really receptive and I want to keep her
energy level up. I might even try to meet up with her that night.

24) The Makeout Challenge

I try to mention in the date is that "being a good kisser is a huge

deal for me. Being a bad kisser is a dealbreaker in my book." This
essentially sets up a challenge for her to make out with me like a
porn star. She always does.

Always try to set up challenges to take her in the direction you

want.

Special Bonus:

How to Handle the Early Stages of Dating

-Eric Lercara

Something seems to happen to a few weeks into a relationship

with a woman, especially when the man has a lot of power in the
relationship. This problem has been on my mind lately so Ill try
to break it down. It tends to happen when the guy has the power
and enjoys having the power. Personally, I find a relationship is
only healthy when the man has the power, although saying so
would be considered sexist today.

Does this scenario sound familiar? The relationship is a few

weeks in. So far, youve been calling the shots and the girl
seems to love it. She invests more than you do, she lets you have
your way, and she gives you plenty of sex, without demanding
fancy dinners or romantic evenings alone in return. You may
even convince her to let you see other girls. Thats how in
control you are.

Keep in mind, this type of relationship only exists for players.

The vast majority of guys will never be able to pull this off

When you have this level of control where she is enamored

with you and is falling fast you may start to get addicted to this
feeling. In a sense, you even start to become a slave to the
feeling of being in control. Now at this point her feminine power
will kick in to high gear. She pulls back, and tests your control.
Feminine power isnt really power, but it is in the sense that will
try to throw you off your course and make you insecure to test
your strength. Feminine power is almost like a form of anticontrol. She simultaneously wants to be controlled by a man,
and doesnt want to be controlled.

This is a paradox that really cant be solved.

So at some point you start to seek out more control. It is at just

this point that you started to lose control. And at the same time,
she starts to sense that. Dont ask me how women are just
good at that. This is where she starts to pull away. She stops
complying to your requests, stops being so available, and gives
you more tests.

Guys who arent players make the crucial mistake here: They
think she wants control, so they give it to her completely. That is
the absolute wrong thing to do. She will seem happy at first, as it
will gratify a part of her, but the part of her that feels sexual
towards you will be disappointed.

There is one solution that seems to be the best. (Women will

never be solved completely they defy logic). The solution is
to just let go. To just stop trying to have so much control for a

moment. The tendency towards control can go overboard, to the

point where it is insecurity masquerading as control. The more
you seek it out, the more she resists. If she is no longer
complying with your requests, it could be because she senses
some insecurity in you. When you didnt have that insecurity
when you knew without a doubt that she was yours you were
more attractive to her.

Another paradox is that she wont feel attraction to you unless

you have control. If you give up control to her, shell lose
interest immediately. This is sadly where most marriages end up
with the women having the control, but lacking any sexual
interest in their husbands. The paradox is that if you stop trying
to have control, you actually gain more of it. But you have to
work to maintain it.

If you feel yourself needing control, it is a good sign you are

insecure about your level of control. At this point, it is time to
stop what you are doing. If you are texting her more than
normal, stop. If you are calling her instead of texting, revert
back to texting. And especially if she starts to call the shots
and tell you what she wants to do: dont give in. Its a test. Take
control back. You may want to ignore her for a while and get
your mind on other women if that helps. She may never say it,
but on a deep level that is what she needs to feel attraction for
you. She needs to sense that you are capable of going out and
finding a woman whenever you want.

Recommended Reading for Long-term Success with Women

The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida
Mode One, by Alan Roger Currie
Radical Honesty, by Brad Blanton, Ph.D.
My Secret Garden, by Nancy Friday
Be Relentless, by David X
King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature
Masculine, by Robert Moore and Douglass Gilette
Please Understand Me, by David Keirsey and Marilyn
Bates
Social Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman
Influence, by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D.
The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
Why Him Why Her, by Helen Fisher

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DatePerDay

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PASSIONATE WAY
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A COCKY AND HUMOROUS WAY
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Confident
Unpredictable

Stable

Dominant

Protective/Caring

Direct
Edgy

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Provider

Daring

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You might want to subtly hint about these in your profile (e.g. lifting
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