Ramayan modern story.

(Amitabh's Entry) hahahahahah!!!! Amitabh : Hello gentleman. Aaj ki sham mai aapko
bataunga SITA KA PATI. Ok, I will start SITA KA PATI without wasting any time... It is a
small round. I will ask only one question and it will choose the finalist.
So lets start without wasting time with the qualifying round. So the qualifying question is
"guess sita ka pati kaun?"

...17 people say Sita ka Pati Mai hoon... hahahah... But ram says, Sita Ka Pati kaun hai?
Moojhe nahin pata hai. And then ravan says Sita ka Pati nahin hai. (They both are
selected to final round)

Amitabh : How many fingers do you have?

Ravan: Oye, its very simple ... 5 yaar...

Ram : I have only four ...!!!

Amitabh : The Right answer. Ek to thumb hota hai yaar... Ram ka javab hai sahi aur usne
bana diya RAVAN ka Dahi ... (Vah vah, vah vah, vah vah)

Ram ne Final jeet liya hai... To usse milti hai SITA.... Taaliya....!!!

...(The scene on the stage changed)...

(Dashrath is looking on his mirror and singing song " Mere aangne me tumhara kya kaam
hai?")

And Kaikai is busy chatting with her friends on ORKUT.

Dashrath : Hey babes, Mai think kar raha tha ki retire ho jaaon.. Aur retire hone k baad
meri position Ram ko De doon .. As a cheif of Ayodhya PVT. LTD.

(Kaikai ... totally shocked .... Throws her Laptop and stares at Dashrath.

Dashrath : Hey Kaikai Babe, Seems like the old age is showing up on you, now its time
that you honor two wishes that you granted me, when I saved your life in the battle
(Dashrath has a puzzled look on his face at what Kaikai is up to)
Dashrath: Uhhh ???!!!! I dont understand the confusion; the wishes are for you to make,
go ahead if you think this is the time you want them to be honored. I shall uphold my
promises.

Kaikai : Send Ram to Jungle for campign for 14 ... No,, For 30 years..!!!

Dasarath: But who will head Ayodhya pvt ltd during the period of his training?
Kaikei: Make my son Bharat the CEO in his place.
Dasarath: What!!! I cannot do that, the stake holders would go crazy, our stock price
would plummet. I can never allow that.
Kaikei (shouts): And what shall the stock holders think when they come to know the ex
CEO broke his promises?
Dasarath (with a sad heart): Alright, I shall ask Ram to go on the Management
Development Programme

GO+(departing ) Scene
In the forest Laxman is totally distressed at being sent with Ram to GO+, far from
palatial(magnificient) comforts.
Laxman: Lagta hai .. Babuji ka dimag budhape mein satiya gaya hai !!! (Kaikais Back
Voice : Laxman how dare you called your father Babuji .. ) Sorry ma !!! I meant
Daddy (Laxman perspiring) Huhh !! I am day dreaming in this forest, ohh god
help me out Dammmn I am alone here and Ram is having fun L
Right at that moment SOORPANKA enters the scene
Soorpanaka: Hey good looking !!! Whats cooking ??!!! (need good expressions here !!!!)
Laxman: Whistlesssss . Wowww !!! didnt know about this happening here man !!
GO+ doesnt seem that dull
Soorpanaka: Hello Handsome !!! got 5 min ?!!
Laxman: Ohh !! Ive got plenty of time.
Soorpanaka: Didnt know you were that Jobless eh ??!! I am the sister of the mighty
Ravan, the chief of RAP LABS.
Laxman (impressed): Wowwww!!!! I am no small duck either I am a powerful
stakeholder in Ayodhya pvt ltd huh !!!
Soorpanaka: Powerful ???!!! ohh common. You call dwelling in a forest as being
powerful.. go and fool someone else.
Laxman (frenzied): Careful lady, gusse mein tum bahut haseen lag rahi ho
Soorpanaka: Arre ja ja !!! kisko impress kar rahe ho?
Laxman: talwaar chalaney mein bhi hamara koi thod nahi hai Dekhogi?
Laxman starts playing around with his sword tying to demonstrate his prowess at sword,
and also trying to impress SOORPANKA. In the process due to some uncontrolled action,
the sword falls on SOORPANKA and takes her nose off !!!!!
SOORPANKA (shouts): aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!! my nose..!
Laxman (totally terrified, about to cry !! ): Oh my god !! I didnt mean to do that .. at all ..
I am so sorry.
(But soorpanka is not ready to hear anything and warns him of the consequences)
Soorpanaka (weeping): Now Ill surely make you pay a big price for this watch
yourself .. Ill be back

Laxman is totally disturbed.. thinking of consequences and crying.

RAVANs ENTRY
Ravan: Hey sislooking gr8 eh?
Soorpanaka: (looking at audience) what??? Blind fella!! (looking at Ravan) whr are ur
specs??? Put thm on.! Now look..that foolish Laxman sliced my nose off .
Ravan: Okie okie chill babe !!!
Soorpanaka:You should take revenge for me.
Ravan: well make thm suffer for this insult.

Ram and Sita are chilling out in the woods on his bike. Ram trying to get romantic.
Ram: Its so beautiful out here away from the disturbing sounds of the city.
But Sita is totally uninterested in Ram, she is busy checking out the beauty of the woods
with her binoculars. Ram has a very disappointed look.
Sita: arreaage dekh.. Ohh, Woww !! look at that .. golden dear. Ram, let me tell you
this, If you cant get me that deer .. dont even think of taking a single step towards me.
Now stop the bike stooppppppppp !!!
Ram: Arre I am trying . Breaks are bad. Tumhare daddy ne ek motorcycle bhi dhang ki
nahin di huhh ???!!
Sita: Bakwaas band karo..and get me that deer !!
Ram: Okie baba, you walk down to the dwelling, Ill be back with YOUR DEAR
DEER !!!! . Phewww ( wipes the perspiration off his forehead)
Ram takes off on his bike, to hunt for the deer, on the way he hears the song ( Champi
song !!! ) . He finds Hanuman enjoying the song on the iPod and getting his champi
done.
Ram: Hye Hanuman !!! How are you doing man howz life buddy ???!!!
Hanuman: Oye koun hai papppe !!! Oye Ram .. my dear ki haal chal yaarrrr ?!!!!
Tussi jangal vich ki kar rahe ho yaarrr
Ram: Oye dont ask yaar daddy ka dimag kharab ho gaya tha, pata nahin kyun mujhe
yahan bhej diya .. tu suna yaar ki chal raha hai teri bhabhi bhi yahin hai jungle
mein .. (grins !!!!)
Hanuman: Oye kya bhabhi bhi yahin hai . Oye sahiiiiiiiiii !!! Oye mujhe Sita bhabhi ke
haath ka khana khana hai yaar plzzzz !!!!!

Ram: Oye zarroorr yaar. No issues chal aaja baith jaaa gadi vich .. chalet hain ghar.
Ram drives Hanuman to his hut. Sita reaches the dwelling, and is getting impatient to see
the golden dear. She bugs laxman to go on the look out for Ram.
Sita: Hey Lax, can you please tell me why is your brother such a lazy guy. I asked him to
get a small thing and he is taking ages. Please go and check his where-abouts, I
desperately want to see that golden deer.
Laxman: ok maata Sita, I think I should go and find Ram. But let me ensure your security
first ( starts working on his laptop)
After a few moments Laxman is done with his job.
Laxman: I have created a very powerful firewall around this dwelling, which no one on
this earth can break, however for your convenience you can keep this access card with
you to venture across this firewall. Ill be back soon with ur deer and Ram.
Sita: Bye C ya !!!!

After a while Ravan appears near Sitas shelter, and shouts out.

Ravan: bhikshaam dehi.

Sita: Arreja ja
Ravan: gimme something
Sita: I cant cross this line. So, I cant give u anything
Ravan: U have to
Sita: but y???
Ravan: Arre.. script mein tho aisa likha hua hai
Sita: Ohh!!!
After Sita goes, Ram, Laxman and Hanuman arrive at Panchvati !!! Everyone is worried
wondering where did Sita go !!
Ram: Where is Sita? I cant find her anywhere.
Hanuman: Yaar yeh vaddi dangerous jageh hai .. mujhe to laaagdaa hai .. koi shaana
bhabhi ko kidnap karke kat liya hai
Laxman: Ohhhh dammnnn !! Dude . I think you are right . Someone has tampered
with the firewall .. it has been breached. Uhhhh . Brother seems like weve a problem

at hand.
Hanuman & Ram observe Ravans sign, and recognize that Ravan has kidnappend Sita
..
Hanuman: Hey guys have a look at this
Ram: This is Ravans sign
Hanuman: mujhe to lagda hai .. yeh pattha hi bhabhi nu apne hun le gaya hai
Ram: Ohhhh !!! Ab kya hoga .
Hanuman: Oye, chill maddi badshao !!! Abhi lanka ka ticket katao .. aur bhabhi ko wapas
lao .. chalo !!!
@ LANKA

Hanuman: Oye bhidu ye lanka to vadi rapchik jageh hai yaar ek dum chama cham
Ram: Seriosly man, its fundoo !! Ravan baap bahut maal kamaya hai lagta hai.
Laxman: Arre bhai, take some lays.
Ram: no..
Hanuman: arre..take..itz onion flavour
Ram: Aisa hai kya? Thn I will take one..!
Laxman: Arre bhai, bhabhi ke baare mein soochon yaar..
Hanuman: Oye !! haan. hum to bhool hi gaye ..
Ram: Hanuman, you go to Ravan and ask him to return Sita to us.

Hanuman: Ayee !! dude, tussi sita baabbi nu kyu pareshan kar rahe ho yaar. Now
common, assi unko lene aaye hain, unhe chhod do.
Ravan: Hey you, chill man. Ram cheated me during Sita swayamvar, then that guy
Laxman chopped off my sisters kutti nose L !! and you say I let Sita go just like that. If
Ram really wants Sita back, let him fight it out for her.
Hanuman: Oye, assi lad lenge, mar jayenge par sita nu leke jayenge yaar !!!!
Ravan: Common buddy, no marna maarna, if Ram wants Sita hell have to play lukka
chuppi with me, if he wins, he gets Sita back .. ha ha ha ha ha !!!!! ha ha ha ha !!!

Hanuman is puzzled

HANUMAN with RAM LAXMAN:

Hanuman: Oye bhidu log yeh Ravan to bada wala shana hai, bolta hai Sita ko chudane
ke liye lukka chuppi khelna hoga.
Ram : Ab kya hoga?
Laxman: Hanuman ji lagta hai humme hi kuch sochna padega Mein to kehta hun aap
apni poonch se lanka mein puri lanka mein aag laga do.
Hanuman: Oye nahin mundeyaa yeh mujhse nahin hoga.
Laxman: Par kyun paaji ??!!!!
Hanuman: Oye yaarrr!!!! meri poonch mein bahut dard hai !! J J J
Ram: Koi baat nahin Hanuman..you take care! Mein Ravan ko dekhta hun.
Ram murmurs something in Hanumans and Laxmans ears, both Hanuman and
Laxmman start jumping, but Hanuman is still doubtful. But forced into agreement by the
other two.
Ram: Yeh dekho mere pass kya hai J
Hanuman: Arre! Yeh sikka toh Jay paaji ka hai!
Laxman: Jay paaji!!
Hanuman: Abey, Sholay wale.
Ram, Laxman, Hanuman: Lets go and get Sita back.

Final Scene: Ashok Vatika mein Lukka Chuppi

Ram: Ravan, Ravan where are you? We are here to take up your
challenge.
Ha
ha
ha
ha
(loud
roar)
Ravan (entering the stage): Oye! Aa jao, ho jaye lukka chuppi. Tum
jeete
toh
Sita
tumhari,
nahin
toh..ha
ha
ha!
Hanuman: Oye lets toss, for whom to blindfold. So heads you loose
and
tails
we
win.
Ravan: ok! Ok.oye! what? Mujhe bevakoof bana raha hai.
Hanuman: Oye nahi, oktails you win and heads we win!
Ravan: Haan!
Ab
theek
hai.

Hanuman: he
he!
Jaye
paaji
ka
sikkahe
he..
Toss
happens.
Hanuman: Hurray!!
We
won,
its
heads
(he
he!)
Hanuman blindfolds Ravan.
Ram starts looking for Sita.Hanuman and Laxman distract Ravan
away from Ram. Ram finds Sita and runs away. Laxman also
follows.Hanuman gets caught. Ravan catches hold of Hanumans
tail!!
Ravan: Oye! I caught Sita, I caught Sita!! Ha ha ha!!
(Hanuman
is
giggling)
Hanuman
opens
the
blindfold(expressions.)
Song..golmaal
hai
bhai
sab
golmaal
hai..
Hanuman runsRavan runs after him.
Ravan looks that Ram is running with Sita. And then he shouts.
Ravan : Aye........ Courage hai to sammne aa k dikha.
Ram : Mujhme bahut courage hai...
After this they decided to play a game. Ravan brings a Laptop and Starts a multiplayer
game Dragon Ball z
..
Ravan : Chalo, lets play Dragon Ball Z on my Laptop and who would win will take Sita
with him.
Ram : Ok, fine ...
(They both start playing and then suddenly..)
Ram : Abe Ravan, Cheater Cock... Dragon Ball Z k cheats le k aaya hai ... To phir to tu
jeete gaa hi na....

(On this topic Ram and Ravan Start fighting and Ram throws Laptop on Ravans
Head...)
Ravan : Hahahahahaha....
Ram Throws his mobile on him and again...
Ravan : hahahahaha...
Ram keeps on throwing something on him and atlast.
Ravan : Mere pass 10-10 mondi aa gai hai... Ab kya kare ga bacchhuu???
Ram brings a rubber ball and throws it on RAVAN's Stomach ...
Ravan : aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.......!!!!!!
Ram : Q bacchhuu ?? Ab kya ho gaya ??? hava nikal gai kya??
Ravan : Please, call Ambulance ...
Ram : Oye dued... Ambulance ka no. mere pass nahin hai ....
Ravan : aahhhhhhh...
Ram: Ye,,,,, mar gaya....
(Ram and Sita go back to Ayodhya)
Ram : Hey babes, ab to tum ek gair murd k saath kitne din tak rahin ho ... I cannot live
with a women like you..
Sita : A dued,,, moojhe bhi koi shok nahin hai tere saath rahne ka...
Ram : Then lets take divorce ...

Sita : Ok dued as you wish ...

(After some days they take divorce and they live happily)

THE END