Quick Skits

THE RESTAURANT
Three or four people are seated in a restaurant. They can be
dressed as a family, or people in general.
1st Person: 'Waiter, waiter
Waiter: 'Yes, may 1 help you?'
1st: 'What Is this fly doing in my soup?'
Waiter: (Looks into soup bowl.) 'Back-stroke, I think.' (Laughs out
loud and slaps person on back.)
2nd Person: 'What Is on the menu, besides soup?'
Waiter: 'It must be dirt, I'll get you a clean one.' (Laughs as before and slaps lst person on back again.)
3rd Person: 'And another thing. 1 don't like the flies in here'
Waiter: 'Point out the ones you doryt like and I'll eject them.' (Laughs and slaps as before.)
1st Person: (Now getting very angry - suddenly thinks of an idea.) 'Waiter, do you serve snails?'
Waiter: (Looking confused) 'No Sir.'
1st Person: 'No wonder, you couldn't catch any.' (Four people break into hysterical laughter, and point at
waiter.)
Waiter: (finally losing his temper - picks up 1st persons soup and tips it over his lap.) 'Now sir. There Is
no fly in your soup but soup in your fly.'

THE PAINT JOB

Painter: 'I'm here to paint the porch.'
Householder: 'Oh, great, Here's the paint. Call me when you have finished. I'll be in the garden.'
Narrator: 'Two hours later.'
Painter: 'I've finished the porch. There was a lot of purple paint over.'
Householder: 'Fine. Come up to the house and 1 will pay you.'
Painter: 'Oh, by the way. It wasn't a Porch it was a Mercedes!
(Householder faints on the floor.)

Candy Store
The leader gives instructions for playing candy store. He asks that one person take a long string and hold
on and then adds others until there is a long line of people holding onto the string. Then the leader
explains that this is a candy store because there are some suckers hanging on the line.
Candy Store. (variation)
A candy store owner enters carrying a long pole. He asks two members of the audience to hold the pole,
draping a blanket or sheet over it, explaining that this is the candy store. One by one customers come in
asking for different types of candy, to each, the owner replies that he doesn't have any. Finally, a
customer asks what he does have. The owner states he doesn't have any candy left except for these two
suckers on a stick, pulling the blanket away at the same time.

Smoke Signals
1st Scout: "Hey George, look over there, smoke signals."
2nd Scout: "Oh yes Mike, what do they say?"
1st Scout: pretending to look away through binoculars says very slowly,
"Help... My... Blankets... On... Fire.
1st Scout: looking back at 2nd Scout, "Help my blankets on fire?"
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The Announcement
Cubmaster: "And now it's time to make a spot announcement."
(Audience volunteer barks like a dog.)
Cubmaster: "Thank you Spot."

Beam Me Up
1st Scout: walks on stage, looks around slowly, " Scotty! The aliens are very unfriendly! Quick! Beam
me aboard!"
2nd Scout: in audience: "THUNK! " (the sound of a 2x4 landing on stage)

Going to Court
Scene: A person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A second person will
enter at various stages and interrupt him, after which the storyteller starts again.
The second person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a stepladder.
1. Person 2 walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing. Reply: "I'm taking by case
to court". Walks off.
2. Enters again with a stepladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm taking my case to a higher
court."
3. This time, person 2 places the hands of the storyteller in front of him, and puts his case on them. "I rest
my case" (This one works best when the storyteller doesn't know about it).
4. This time, without a case: search all around the stage, cabinets under the stage, near the MC (Excuse
me, 'pardon me!), under his papers, etc. Then tell him: "I lost my case."
5. Enter with a banana and case: "What are you doing with that banana?" " 1 am appealing my case! "
6. Next time: Open and close the case as you walk across the stage. When MC asks what you are doing,
tell him/her "...it's an open and shut case! "
7. Person enters, case open and inverted. MC asks, "Now what are you doing?" Person replies, "My case
got overturned."

Little Brother
1st Scout: "What'cha doing?"
2nd Scout: "Writing a letter to my little brother."
1st Scout: "Why are you writing so slowly?"
2nd Scout: "Because my little brother cant read very fast!"

Squirrels
Person: runs "onstage" screaming "They're after me! They're after me! "
MC: "Who's after you?"
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Person: "The squirrels. They think I'm nuts!"

Leaving
1st Scout: walks across the area scattering handfuls of leaves he takes from a big bag
2nd Scout: approaches and asks, "What are you doing?"
1st Scout: "I'm leaving!

Pulling String
1st Scout: walks onto stage area pulling a string big enough to see
2nd Scout: "What are you doing?"
1st Scout: "I'm pulling a string"
2nd Scout: "What are you doing that for?"
1st Scout: "Well, have you ever tried to push one?"

All Over Me
1st Scout: "They're all over me, they're all over me!"
2nd Scout: "What's all over you?"
1st Scout: "My clothes!"

Finale
Cubmaster: "They're all around me!"
Scout: "What?"
Cubmaster: "Cheesy run-ons!

Pop Quiz
Teacher: "What has 5 fingers and can be made of leather?"
Johnny: "Eh... 1 don't know."
Teacher: "One glove! Now, what has 1 0 fingers and can be made of leather?"
Johnny: "Eh.... 1 don't know."
Teacher: "Two gloves! Now, who is the Governor of Nebraska?"
Johnny "Err.... Three gloves?

Throwing Up
Scout: walks across stage tossing a ball up and catches it several times
Cubmaster: "What are you doing?"
Scout: "I'm throwing up!"
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I'm a Rabbit
1st Scout: "Ask me if I'm a rabbit."
2nd Scout: "Okay. Are you a rabbit?"
1st Scout: "Yes. Now ask me if I'm a beaver.
2nd Scout: "Are you a beaver?"
1st Scout: "No, silly! 1 already told you 1 was a rabbit!"

The Ruler
1st Scout: "Why do you keep the ruler on the newspaper when you're reading?"
2nd Scout: "I want to get the story straight!"

Jumping Challenge
Cub 1: " 1 bet 1 can jump higher than a house.
Cub 2: " 1 bet you can't."
Cub 1: "Yes 1 can. Did you ever see a house jump?"

What a Day
(Three tired looking hikers enter, drop packs and flop in a circle.)
Hiker 1: (groans) "What a day."
Hiker 2: (after a pause, groans) "What a day."
Hiker 3: (happily) "Yeah, it sure was!"
Hiker 2: (angrily) "If you can't stick to the subject, I'm leaving! "
First two hikers stalk off, leaving third looking very surprised).

The Nutty Fisherman

Centre stage is a lad fishing from a bucket. He keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the
line. A passer by, looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes
back to the lad.
Passer by: "What are you doing there then?"
Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"
Passer by: "Fishing eh! What are you fishing for?"
Fisher: "l'm fishing for suckers."
Passer by: "Have you caught any?"
Fisher: "Yes, you're the third one today!"
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It's All Around Me!

Two characters, one on stage and the other running in a panic, swatting the air, looking desperate and
yelling
Runner: "It's all around me, it's all around me!"
Still One: "What? Whats all around you?"
Runner: stops and grabs his belt "My belt, of course!"

Wait! Wait!
Shopper: "Have you any four-volt two-watt bulbs?"
Clerk: "For what?"
Shopper: "No, four-volt, two-watt."
Clerk: "Two what?"
Shopper: "Yes!"
Clerk: "No."

Bee Sting
1st Scout: "OOOOOUCH, OOOOOH, OOOUCH."
2nd Scout: "What s the matter with you?"
1st Scout: "A bee's stung my thumb."
2nd Scout: "Try putting some cream on it then."
1st Scout: "But the bee will be miles away by this time."

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