ENGINOODS

THE

“We ain’t affilliated with nobody”

Enginoods Remembers 9/11

A special editorial
In school, we learn about both great and terrible events that shaped the history of our world. While many of
these dates are far off and abstract, 9/11 is one of the few that we were actually able to experience firsthand. It
was one chance we had to be a part of history, rather than just reading about it. It happened in the here and now,
and with new technological advances it was live on television for the whole world to witness it. While I doubt
that many of us were actually there, some had friends and family that were, and their eyewitness accounts of the
collapse and the prevailing mood of the area offer a truly unique perspective on history. Some of those present
even thought to save pieces of the rubble as a memory of this indescribable occasion, and most found it difficult
to express the sheer number and magnitude of the emotions they went through that day.

The collapse of this structure was an unplanned historical triumph that closed the book on an era. On this monu-
mental date, a structure that represented evil and tyranny crumbled to the ground in a glorious act of freedom
and revolution. It redefined, mostly for the better, the way millions of people would live their lives, and it her-
alded a profound change in the way nations and com-
munities resolved their conflicts. In the wake of the
events of this date, millions of people found new
freedoms granted to them. A nation that was fractured
along ideological lines was now united in a common
goal. This example showed the world that groups of
truly passionate individuals could enact major political
reform, and that the willingness to risk one’s life for
their beliefs was truly an admirable trait that was to be
revered.

In the days and weeks following 9/11, almost all world

leaders offered their opinions, and pledged the support
of their respective nations for the cause. Many believed
it to be one of the greatest diplomatic achievements in
human history, and one of the defining moments of the
century. Clearly, when the Berlin Wall collapsed on
November 9, 1989 (9/11/1989), the world stopped and
took notice. We at the Enginoods remember this
important date, and hope that it stands as a shining
example of how breaking things is good.
Final note-before you get pissed off, make sure you
read the WHOLE article. If you’re still offended,
piss off.

Shit Happens
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Match game for frosh and

other dum people
Match the important events on the left with the important dates on the right.
Hint:
Treaty of Versailles November 11, 1919
Bavarian Purity Act 1516
VE Day May 8, 1945
VJ Day September 2, 1945
The bombing of Hiroshima August 6, 1945
The year we make contact 2010
Assassination of JFK November 22, 1963
The day we learned James Cameron was a pussy Whatever day Titanic opened
The day the music died February 3, 1959
Repatriation of the Constitution July 1, 1982
D-Day June 6, 1944
Yesterday September 12, 2002
Challenger Explosion
Man walks on the moon
January 28, 1986
July 20, 1969 Nutsy Says “Submit!”
First Monkey in space June 14, 1948
First Pigs in Space During the 2nd season (1977) (To both him and the Noods)
Tiananmen Square June 4, 1989
First episode of the Simpsons December 17, 1989
Discovery of Time Travel November 5, 1955
1984 1948 Send prof quotes, porn, jokes,
Last episode of Friends Not Soon Enough!
First day of Woodstock August 15, 1969 comics, porn, games, and porn to
“Just watch me.” October 16, 1970
First time the Death Star was destroyed A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. noods02@hotmail.com
Judgment Day August 29, 1997
The last day of the last good frosh week September 6, 1997 PS: Send porn.
Happy Days Sunday Monday...Tuesday Wednesday…
Thursday Friday… Saturday (What a day)
Groovin’ all week with you.

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Feces Occurs
 BACK PAGE (NOW WITH 75% MORE FILLER)
Prof Quotes
“Remember-anything can be funny, even rape. If you don’t
believe me, just imagine Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd.”
GENE 412 – Prof. George Carlin

“I’m sure in 1985, plutonium is available at every corner drug-

store, but in 1955 it’s a little hard to come by!”
“If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight
miles per hour ... you’re gonna see some serious shit.”
ECE 471 - Dr. Emmett Brown

“It was Colonel Mustard, in the kitchen with the candlestick”

ME 230 – Professor Plum

“No, no, no. Ginger, you take off Mary-Ann’s clothes first, and
then I’ll join in.”
CHEM 032 – The Professor

“…and I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you
darn kids! err... I mean Mr. Holmes and Dr. Watson.”
SYDE 529 “Systems of Evil” - Professor Moriarty

“Lassie you sick bitch!”

BIO 469 – Dr. Doolittle

“N’hey hey! Ahem, n’hey.... So the compression and expansion

of the longitudinal waves cause the erratic oscillation — you can
see it there — of the neighbouring particles. Yes, what is it?
What? What is it?”
Little Girl: “Can I play with it?”
”No, you can’t play with it; you won’t enjoy it on as many levels
as I do.... Mm-hai bw-ha whoa-hoa. The colours, children! Mwa-
ha-lee!”
GENE 100 “Simpsons” - Professor Frink

WERE YOU OFFENDED?

If you were offended by this week’s enginoods, we want to hear about it. Send your flames, death threats, and porn to:

noods02@hotmail.com
If we publish your letter, you’ll get a FREE HAT! We at the Enginoods value your suggestions, and this shit won’t get
any better unless you tell us what to change. Thank you for your time. Hope to hear from you soon.

Crap Commences and Completes