ENGINOODS

THE

“We ain’t affilliated with nobody”

Maria’s Shaved Pussy, Spread WIDE OPEN! See Page 5!

We had better things to do last night then write this shit.

No it was not sex (dammit). But sex does come before noods. Last night, we saw Henry Rollins. Where
the fuck were you? Yes you! You uncultured Neolithic cum stains on the jeans of society. Why were you
not there? Was the new episode of Friends so fucking important? That fact that there were empty seats
should make you ashamed that you attend this university. Who is Henry Rollins? Just think of him as your
“Shaman of Rage.” If you’ve never heard him speak/rant before, then just imagine Dennis Miller, if instead
of going to college, he got really fucked up and joined a heavy metal band. If you don’t know who Dennis
Miller is, stop reading this fucking paper. There is no hope for you at all. So we would just like to state
here that you apathetic slobs don’t deserve this publication, so instead we bring you an issue full of comics.

Picutres… brain… good. Mmmm… brains.

FUCK
BANANAS

THE ENGINOODS INVADE THE INTERNET!

http://www3.sympatico.ca/enginoods
And you thought that the internet was safe for children and pedophiles...
If anybody has a better place we can store these, please let us know! Many free hats for you!

“Head! Pants! NOW!”

 POETS
Portable Orangutans Eviscreate Transvestite Stockbrokers (Fun Fun Fun!)

PBD TOTALS
Mech’s are a Bitch 341 How do you spell “Cirrhosis”?
The Civs 251 It’s 4B - why don’t you have a better name yet?
SYaniDE 219 Where the fuck did YOU come from
Chemical Bondage 148 .... with Clegg’s Mom (we like it)
Full Tilt 143 We’re giving up Sharon for Lent
12" Floppies 89 Give up Clegg for Lent
Garrett 82 Give up sobriety for Lent
Mechrophiliacs 80 Give up sheepfucking for a day
Chemadians 77 Give up your gaytarded name for good
I-dots 63 Give up Lent for Lent
BeerBarons 39 No you won’t.

“We have a piper down! I repeat, a piper is down”

 ELECTION SPECTACUL
SPECTACUL AR!
ACULAR!
Learn all about the candiates!

Cement

“You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called *fukkyew!*”
 AND ANOTHER FUCKING TITLE.
That makes four for all of you that are keeping track.

Head! Paper! Now! Move that melon of yours and get the paper if you can! Haulin' that gargantuan cranium about! I'm
not kidding, that boy's head's like Sputnik! Spherical, but quick pointy in parts. Well, that was off sides, wasn't it? He'll be
crying himself to sleep tonight on his *huge* pillow!

THIS WEEK’S CONTEST: Be as apathetic as possible! (this should be really easy)

Don’t send in anything. We dare you! If you send us stuff, we’ll get a FREE HAT!
To not submit, do not submit your non-submissions to noods02@hotmail.com

WERE YOU OFFENDED?

If you were offended by this week’s enginoods, we want to hear about it. Send your flames, death threats, and porn to:

noods02@hotmail.com
If we publish your letter, you’ll get a FREE HAT & P**5 points! We at the Enginoods value your suggestions, and this
shit won’t get any better unless you tell us what to change. Two rapes make a right. Thank you for your time. Hope to
hear from you soon. Does anyone actually read this shit anymore? If you did catch this, you might just have won a free
hat!
Bottem of Page Quotations Brought to you by: J Jonah Jamison, Darth Randall and The Letter ‘J’

“My name is John Johnson, but everyone here calls me Vicky”