Uncle Vanya (Translated by Michael Frayn) Yelenas monologue

Oh how hard it is to know the secrets of another's heart and not be able to help
them, hes not in love with her, thats plain enough... But why shouldnt he marry
her? Shes not beautiful, but for a country doctor at his age, shed make a fine
wife. Shes kind and good and intelligent but thats all beside the point. Its
all beside the point! I know exactly how it is for that poor child, living in a world
where all the people around you are just perambulating grey blobs, where all
that ever goes on is eating and drinking and sleeping and then he comes along.
And hes not like the others. Hes interesting and fascinating and handsome. So
handsome. And its like the bright moon rising in the midst of darkness. To fall
under the spell of a man like that, to forget oneself. I think Ive become slightly
fascinated as well and when hes not here yes Im bored. Here I am smiling
even at the thought of him.
Uncle Vanya tells me that I have mermaids blood in my veins run wild and be
free for once in your life. So perhaps Ill do just that. Perhaps I shall fly away
free from all of you and your half dead faces. Perhaps I shall fly away as free as a
bird. But I cant do thatIm far too timid, Im a coward. I should be tormented
by my conscience. Especially with his coming here and I know why he comes. I
should be on my knees begging for Sonyas forgiveness, weeping and begging
for Sonyas forgiveness.