Grand Annual Celebration Charity Football Match

April 20th 2010

Nurnberg Frankenstadion
Rally 12:00 hrs; Anthems 13:30 hrs: Kick Off 15:00 hrs
No Alcohol, Firearms, Flags, Ceremonial Daggers or Birthday Banners
All Proceeds to Save The Children Fund

Celebrity Dictator Rovers vs FC Scheisskopfen Reserves

Referee: Mr. Ron Himmler (North Westphalia and Paraguay)

Club Colours: Brown shirts with black shorts and socks (irrelevant since players
wear home club colours for charity games)

Badge: SS Deaths Head in blood red or Mauve Hammer and Sickle.

Manager: SATAN, Lord and Keeper of All Evils (In Big Coat).

Team Physios: Eva Peron and Imelda Marcos.

Team Sheet

Goalkeeper: Mao Tse The Cat Tung (Shanghai Utd. and China); Blue top and
shorts: CAP. Stocky but acrobatic small eyed experienced man between the sticks whose
intense abilities and concentration are occasionally marred by sudden exhortations to the
crowd at corners to overrun the capitalist opposition running dogs, occasionally leading to
embarrassing goals against. Same ritual at startisotonic drink, sunglasses and small book
placed at back of net.

Right Defence: Fidel El Fumero Loco Castro (Havana Strollers and Cuba):
Green camouflage top and shorts: forage CAP. Pedestrian but dependable workhorse whose
lack of pace is compensated by his ability to stop speedy opposition wingers by burning their
arses with huge foot long firey cigars. Always carries small mobile Russian missile system to
ward off midfield diagonal runs.

Left Defence: Idi Fat Blacky Amin (The Kampala Killers and Uganda): Field
Marshals uniform, bloodied kilt and ceremonial spears: staff generals red banded CAP.
Sluggish talentless unconcentrated useless overweight git with two left feet. May be in side as
token ethnic content to satisfy sponsors (KRUPS Gmbh). Runs off pitch to fridge
occasionally for snacks. Sometimes has sword.

Central Defence: Augosto Generalissimo Grosso Pinochet (Santiago City and

Chile): Sky Blue Infantry Generals uniform with 40 medals: dark blue Chilean air marshals
CAP. Sleek and efficient sweeper effective at mopping up through runners whenever the cry
opposition AugustoOPPOSITION! is screamed by his co-defenders. Constantly checking
crowd size in stadium and looking in small notebook.

Central Defence: Josef The Killer Stalin (Team Captain; Dinamo

Kremlinskaya and Russia): Grey wool Georgian peasants smock and black riding
jodhpurs: brylcreamed dyed black hair. Steely defender with phenomenal pace, ability to read
the game, with deadly tackle. Almost telepathic understanding with Pinochet. Ruthless in his
criticism of team mates. Defends corners by shooting ball out of the air with great accuracy.

Right Midfield: Pol 10 Skulls Pot: (Free Agent) Black Khmer Blanc rice wool shirt
and straightjacket: Almost insanely aggressive wiry midfielder with a tendency to maim
referees and opposition players and scream Score Now Zero all game for all people despite
actual score. Utter psycopath but useful at set pieces and corners. Wounded in recent gun
battle with Adolf H over who takes right side free kicks.

Left Midfield: Emperor The Rising Son of Glory Hirohito: (Racing Osaka and
Nippon) Black morning suit and top hat. Quietly efficient diminutive cultured passer who
sometimes surprises with pacy dribbles through defences whilst screaming Banzai.
Tenacious in defence with a furious energy and refusal to give in to sometimes superior
numbers of opposition players attacking down right flank.

Central Midfield: Adolf Lebensraum Hitler: (Bayer Ubermenschen and Austria)

Brown shirt with Iron Cross 5th Class and black leather silver fluted lederhosen. Aggressively
efficient hard tackling tough dominating central midfielder. Phenomenal engine with the
ability to cover large amounts of ground on the attack and always be in the right place. Perfect
foil for his French tactical partner. Eccentricity and short fuse at times. Occasionally renders
team mates unconscious through screaming fits. Half time team talks inspirational.

Central Midfield: Napoleon Le Petit Genie Bonaparte: (Olympique Elba and

France) White calf skin waistcoat and baggy red white and blue striped shorts. Cocked hat
with peacock feather. Supremely cultured two footed tactical master with great passing range
and vision. Poor in the air. Tendency to underestimate opposition at times and overstretch on
occasion going forward. Struggles in heavy conditions.

Right Striker: Benito Il Duce Grasso Mussolini: (Roma and Italy) Beige lounge suit
with alligator shoes. Imposing fat bellied rangy striker with surprising pace and difficult to
dislodge. Very good in the air from set pieces. Fine scoring record but dearth of goals against
stronger opposition. Tendency to go down in the box like a bag of hammers down a lift
shaft upon slightest physical contact.

Left Striker: Francisco El Toro Franco: (Barcelona and Spain) Full Class A gold
filigreed matador outfit with one of those Guardia Civil style bull hats. Lazy whinging
recalcitrant tubby attacker with phenomenal scoring record, mostly in six yard box. Strong
relation with Hitler, great ability in running onto balls through the air. Continually exhorts H
to support his runs by aerial supply. Defensive attributes close to nil.

Subs: Gaddafi, Chavez, Noriega, Stroessner, Verwoerd.

Result: Celebrity Dictators 1 - FC Scheisskopfen Reserves 48 Million