Professional Documents
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How To Follow God When Others Dont
How To Follow God When Others Dont
immaturity. Kids are coddled and their preferences catered to, in the home and
certainly in the society at large. Contrary to feminist fears, most households are
less patriarchy and more kindergarchy.
With the reign of youth-ism, comes a disrespect for older generations.
Instead of thinking this person is older and probably has something to teach me I
dont know yet we figure this person is old and out of date and funny looking and
weak and is best ignored.
Older folks deserve better, especially Mom and Dad. Even into old age we must
honor our parents. We should visit them, listen to their advice, and see they are
well cared for later in life. Honor for parents has no statute of limitations.
We see clearly from the rest of Scripture we should honor those to whom honor is
due: slaves to masters (Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling,
with a sincere heart, as you would Christ [Eph. 6:5]); wives to husbands (Wives,
submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord [Eph. 5:22]); the church to its leaders
(Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your
souls, as those who will have to give an account [Heb. 13:7]); younger men to
older men (Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders [1 Peter 5:5]);
and all of us to the governing authorities (Rom. 13:1ff.)
As much as it grates against our spirit, Scripture commands us to be
submissive to rulers and authorities, be obedient, ready for every good
work (Titus 3:1). No matter which party is in power, the command is the same:
fear God; honor the king (1 Peter 2:17). Unfortunately, civil political discourse are
three words that dont go together in the 21st century. Nevertheless, we must
remember our standard for honoring those in authority is higher than what we hear
from Rush Limbaugh and Michael Moore.
Scripture is full of examples of divinely frowned upon disrespect. David was cursed
by Nabal (1 Sam. 25:10) and Shimei (2 Sam. 16:7). To them, David was a rogue or
bum. And yet these are the words some of us use to describe our leaders all the
time! We would do better to be like David toward Saul, who dared not lay a hand on
Gods anointed, though the king was a cowardly rascal. In a democracy we have
freedom of speech and assembly and part of how we respect the governing
authorities is by trying to change the governing authorities. There is nothing wrong
with strong disagreement and working for change. But we must always honor
those over us, with our prayers and our respect.
I doubt many of us regularly feel convicted by the fifth commandment. When we
are kids we dont think of obedience to our parents as a spiritual issue. And when
we are older and know better, were out of the house and only see them at holidays
or for babysitting. So its easy to think this is one commandment weve got pretty
http://liberatedthroughsubmission.xanga.com/695484953/honoring-ungodlyparents/
1. How common is such a conversation? Have you ever heard your friends talking about their
parents like Kristen and Dan? Do they usually say good things or bad things?
2. How does what we say about others show how we feel about them?
In this issue well discover how God expects us to act towards our parents.
Obeying Parents
II TIMOTHY 3:2 "For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud,
blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful and unholy."
1. Why does God think its serious when we dont obey our parents?
2. Can you give examples of movies or TV shows in which children are disobedient to their
parents? Do you think children imitate the example set by children in these movies or TV shows?
3. What does God say about talking badly about our parents? Is it a light thing in His eyes? Read
Matthew 15:4
and answer. Why do you think the penalty is so severe?
EPHESIANS 6:1-4 Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father
and mother which is the first commandment with promise. That it may be well with you and that
you may live long on the earth. And you, fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring
them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
4. Clearly God wants us to obey our parents, but what limits does God put on our obedience?
COMMENT: We should follow our parents as they follow God.
5. How should we respond if they tell us to do something contrary to God's Law?
6. How should parents teach their children? (HINT: look again at Ephesians)
7. How can a parent cultivate honor in his children?
8. When you become a parent, how will you teach the 5th commandment to your children?
2. How does the fact that God gives us honor make you feel? How does it make you want to
respond to God?
Summary
1. How are the ways we honor our physical parents and the way we honor our spiritual Father
similar?
2. How are they different? (HINT: God is perfect.)
3. What could Janet reply to her friends and still keep the Fifth commandment?
4. Is this commandment difficult to keep?
5. What changes in society do you think would occur if everyone obeyed the 5th commandment?
http://www.ucg.org/teen-bible-study/teen-bible-study-volume-3-ten-commandments/fifthcommandment-honor-your-dad-and-mom/
Elders
Authority #2
If you want the full benefits of living under the umbrella of Gods blessing,
power, guidance, provision and protection then you need to remain under the
umbrella of authority that God has set over you.
When you remove yourself from authority God has placed over you also
remove yourself from His umbrella of spiritual protection.
It doesnt even matter whether the person in authority over you is a godly or
ungodly person.
Your submission to that authority keeps you under Gods umbrella of
protection and your rejection or rebellion against that authority removes you
from that umbrella of protection.
Your spiritual protection is determined more by the way you honor those in
authority over you than by the way they behave.
A man who clearly understood this concept of authority and protection was
David.
After Saul rebelled against the word of the Lord and became an ungodly king,
and after David was anointed by Samuel to be Sauls successor, and after Saul
noticed that the favor of both God and the people rested on David Saul
became jealous and attempted to hunt David down for the purpose of killing him
and David became a hunted man for a long time.
On two separate occasions, David was able to sneak up on Saul at night in a
cave or in their camp -- and Sauls life was in Davids hands.
But even though Saul was an ungodly king who was trying to kill David
David refused to kill Saul when he had the opportunity. Why?
The LORD forbid that I should lift my hand against my master, for he is the
anointed of the LORD (I Sam. 26:8).
Abishai said to David, Today God has delivered your enemy into your hands.
Now let me pin him to the ground with one thrust of my spear; I wont strike
him twice. (9)
But David said to Abishai, Dont destroy him! Who can lay a hand on the
LORDS anointed and be guiltless? (10)
As surely as the LORD lives, the LORD himself will strike him; either his time
will come and he will die, or he will go into battle and perish. (11)
But the LORD forbid that I should lay a hand on the LORDS anointed.
David knew better than to take matters into his own hands.
Saul was the Lords anointed the Lords chosen ruler let God deal with him.
David trusted the Lord to protect him from Saul and to bring judgment upon
Saul in the Lords own way and in the Lords own timing.
It is not the right or responsibility of those under authority to execute
judgment on those over them in authority.
And then do you remember when God did take care of Saul, and Saul was
wounded in battle and then ended his own life and a messenger ran to David
telling him the news claiming credit for killing Saul himself.
Do you remember Davids response? In II Samuel 1:14 David asked him,
Why were you not afraid to lift your hand to destroy the LORDS anointed?
Then David called one of his men and said, Go, strike him down! So he
struck him down, and he died.
For David had said to him, Your blood be on your own head. Your own mouth
testified against you when you said, I killed the LORDS anointed.
Why were you not afraid to lift your hand against the Lords anointed?
-- Honor your father and mother if they reciprocate by meeting your needs in
accordance with your expectations.
-- Honor your father and mother when it is pleasing to you to do so.
-- Honor your father and mother when they express appreciation to you for
doing so.
-- Honor your father and mother if they are godly parents who set a godly
example.
-- Honor your father and mother when it "feels right."
-- Honor your father and mother if they let you have your own way and do
whatever your friends are allowed to do.
-- Honor your father and mother if their demands and expectations of you are
reasonable in your estimation.
-- Honor your father and mother if you agree with their rules.
-- Honor your father and mother if they get a passing grade of being good
parents in your judgment.
-- Honor your father and mother if others in your family also do so.
The commandment simply says: Honor your father and your mother. Period.
Just do it.
Yet notice also that the operative word is honor it is not love or hold in high
regard or even respect.
-- The word chosen is honor.
-- Honor is not an emotion or feeling honor is a behavioral word.
-- We are commanded to behave in a certain way toward them that reflects
their status and God-given authority as parents whatever their personal
character traits or parenting skills and whatever our opinions and emotions
about them.
-- The fact is, not all parents are worthy of being held in high regard as to their
character or godliness or faith or morality or parenting skills.
-- But all parents are to be honored by those under their God-given authority.
Does God hold accountable those in authority for the way they exercise their
authority? Of course! But thats not the point here.
In the third article well talk about what the point is.
http://www.christ4today.com/news2.asp?news_id=134
Honoring dysfunctional parents is not easy, and may only be possible with God's
strength.
God calls everyone to honor their parents. For Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA), this will be
a difficult concept to consider. Is it even possible? I encourage you to keep reading, and see if
this notion of honor might serve you well. Gods fifth commandment is, Honor Your Father
and Mother. What does this mean to adult children of alcoholics? This is a tough one, so lets
hash it out.
Here are some definitions of honor:
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being respectful in word and action and having an inward attitude of esteem for
someones position;
These are all painful definitions for children of parents who have been abusive, dysfunctional
and have seriously impacted others' lives. Please notice that to honor does not mean to love,
adore, cater to, accept lousy treatment from, etc.
What Else Does God Say About Honoring Parents?
I came across this quote on the Christian website, GotQuestions.org: children of all ages
should honor their parents, regardless of whether or not their parents deserve honor. Certainly
whoever wrote that is not an ACoA, or are they? This is difficult to digest (please pass the Pepto
Bismol). Lets continue please hang in there!
In the New Testament, Ephesians 6:1-3 states: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this
is right. Honor your father and mother so that it may be well with you, and that you may live
long on the earth. Now theres some incentive, for this is the only commandment in Scripture
that promises long life as a reward. This scripture tells us that honoring them is for our benefit,
not necessarily for their benefit.
Clearly, our relationship with our parents is a big deal to God. God provides instructions for both
parents and children. Many of us realize that our parents arent holding up their end of the deal
if they arent acting as godly parents, so why should we obey this commandment? For a
Christian, the answer is easy: Because God says so, and it should always be our desire to please
God. So how do we, as ACoAs, do this? How do we come to terms with this?
What Honor is Not
Honoring dysfunctional parents is not necessarily:
Loving them.
Parents might instruct their kids to do things that clearly contradict what God commands. We
must obey God above all else. Gods Will, His Word and His commands trump any ungodly
thing our parents might want, demand or do. I feel that honoring our parents means doing what is
best for them. It is doing for them what God wants for them. We should treat our parents as God
would want us to.
How Can This Apply to Our Situation?
How do I apply this in my situation? Well, a while ago I realized that my parents dont know any
better (this may or may not be the same for you). Our parents are caught up in their own
problems and probably havent got a clue what they did or are doing. You may someday reach
the point where this stirs compassion. But dont get me wrong it doesnt mean that all is
forgotten. No way! While I dont rub my parents noses in guilt, I dont let them off the hook
either. Sweeping stuff under the rug doesnt help anyone.
For example, my mother often says, I know I used to drink too much. Then she starts a pity
party. I will never tell my mother that her drinking was okay, because it was not okay. Her
drinking, and dads, had serious ramifications for our entire family. But I dont let her beat
herself up either. God wouldnt want me to get satisfaction from her wallowing in regret. I often
feel she wants me to tell her that it was ok, that she didnt do any harm. That would be a lie, and
God doesnt want that either.
To honor my own mother, I confirm that she did drink way too much, and that it was an awful
time of life (my mother is now in her 70s). But I remind her that we cant change the past, that
we can only move forward, and that its up to each of us individually to deal with the past in our
own way, take ownership of it all, and work to make the very best of ourselves.
Only by Gods grace can I feel this way today, because I was inwardly hateful toward her and my
father for a long time. Honoring parents is not easy, and it is definitely not possible by our own
strength. We need the supernatural strength and love of God. Now lets look at the nitty-gritty
practicality of it all.
Practical Ways to Honor Dysfunctional Parents
It may help to view them as ill or sick. We can legitimately do this because society
has labeled alcoholism as a disease.
Show compassion. They are held captive by alcohol, which probably means they are also
held captive by something very deep, and very painful. This doesnt mean we accept their
behavior it means we look at it differently.
Help them in good ways I help my parents simply because they are my parents and
because Gods wants that of me. I think of them as neighbors. What would I do for my
neighbor?
Treat them as you would like to be treated God says, Love your neighbor as yourself.
Luke 6:31 tells us, Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Talk about your past and your parents only when it is for the godly good of yourself or
others.
On your journey to recovery, honor is about growing up, maturing, regaining control of life,
leaning on God, and letting go of the past. Forgiveness is a big part of it too, but we have to
make the first move and rise above the past. We owe it to ourselves and to God. Pleasing God
will bring us far more blessing and happiness than holding on to resentment or treating our
parents badly.
If You Are Not Ready to Honor Your Parents
If you are still residing with dysfunctional parents or other family members, I understand that
honoring them will be nearly impossible until you are able to distance yourself from the situation
and gain a different perspective. You may not be ready for this. But its something to tuck away
in the back of your mind, and something to strive for as you travel the path to full recovery.
If you are able, work on this for yourself do it for you, not necessarily for them. It takes being
the bigger person to truly honor people that deserve no honor at all. By definition,
dysfunctional people are abnormal or impaired in some way. Make the conscious effort to see
their behavior as a symptom, rather than a personal attack. We are children of God, each blessed
with incredible potential. With Gods help, going forward we can make some things right, and
experience full recovery.
Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist, a doctor, or any type of medical professional. I am by no
means an expert. I am an adult child of alcoholics whose hearts desire is for all ACoAs to break
the bonds of their childhood and live the life God intended. If you are experiencing serious
emotional pain or behavioral issues, please also seek help from a professional counselor or
psychologist, or seek out an ACA support group. You owe it to yourself.
Sources
What does it mean to honor my mother and father? Got Question?.org, accessed April
6, 2011.
Daryl Quick, The Healing Journey for Adult Children of Alcoholics (Illinois: InterVarsity
Press, 1990).
Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden, Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of
Alcoholics (New York: Simon & Schuster, Inc., 1985).
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., The Complete ACOA Sourcebook, (Deerfield Beach, FL:
Health Communications, Inc., 2002).
http://suite101.com/article/adult-children-of-alcoholics--honoring-our-parentsa365260
Ungodly Soul Ties & the Measures Needed to Walk in Wholeness
By Gary Tillotson
When we look at the subject of ungodly soul ties we have to remind ourselves of a
few pointers that are important.
1. Not all soul ties are ungodly; God created us as a relational being, and intended
us to relate to one another. e.g. ( 1 Samuel 18:1 Jonathan & David )
2. It is good for us to have relationships that are spirit to spirit as long as they are in
the will of God.
The best place to look at the subject of soul ties is the word of God, by looking in
the word we can see how ungodly soul ties can effect us.
One of the most striking things Jesus said is in the book of Luke:
Lu 14:26 (WEB) "If anyone comes to me, and doesnt hate his own father, mother,
wife, children, brothers, and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cant be my
disciple.
What Jesus was saying here can teach us a big lesson in the subject of soul ties.
1. Jesus was not saying we are to hate our parents, as this would be contary to the
fifth commandment.
2. Jesus was saying we are to love them less in comparison to him.
The call of God on our life should not be interfered with by the relationships we hold
in this life, Gods call should always be first, and if we are influenced by His Spirit in
our life we will begin to fulfil the call of God on our life.
Ungodly soul ties can and will effect the call of God on our life, and what we
determine as a Godly soul tie, as in with a spouse for example, can effect us in a
ungodly way as well. Such as their desire for the course that our life should take;
taking precedence over what God has called us to be and to do.
When we put Jesus first above all even our own life, as in the desire for self, we
then will find out what is ungodly in our life, and consequently we shall experience
the Godly relationships God wants us to experience and enjoy.
We can look at a particular character in the Old Testament whose call was effected
by a soul tie. We can also learn some important lessons from his walk and learn how
we can be taken off course in our own walk. His name was Samson.
Samsons mother was barren before he was born, the Angel of the Lord visited her
and told her that she was going to give birth to a son: Jg 13:4 (WEB) Now therefore
please beware and drink no wine nor strong drink, and dont eat any unclean thing:
5 for, behold, you shall conceive, and bear a son; and no razor shall come on his
head; for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb: and he shall begin to
save Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.
So Samson was consecrated to God to be a Nazirite.
God had a vision for his life to save Israel.
God had a purpose for Samson and if you read the whole story in Judges chapter 13
to 16, you will find that his desire for women effected him in a way that took him of
the course God had for him. He desired the philistine women more then his own. He
gave into his desires and that undermined Gods plan for him he had a moral
weakness in this area.
Jg 16:4 (WEB) It came to pass afterward, that he loved a woman in the valley of
Sorek, whose name was Delilah.
Its interesting to note the word love in the above scripture is the same Hebrew
word referring to the love Jonathan had for David: Ahab ahab aw-hab
or raheb {aw-habe}; a primitive root; to have affection for (sexually or otherwise):
--(be-)love(-d, -ly, -r), like, friend.
Samsons physical strength enabled him to do exploits, but his moral weakness led
him into relationships that were ungodly especially with Delilah, he had a soul tie
with her, because of the love he had for her. This is what happened to him.
1. Loss of control
Jg 16:19 (WEB) She made him sleep on her knees; and she called for a man, and
shaved off the seven locks of his head; and she began to afflict him, and his
strength went from him.
Something weaker than him was controlling him.
He took a detour in his walk with God and he was overpowered.
He put his trust and security in someone else.
He had become a slave to sin through the soul tie he had with Delilah.
What can we learn from this?
Whos the main influence in our life?
Jesus should take precedence in all our relationships.
2. Loss of vision
Jg 16:21 (WEB) The Philistines laid hold on him, and put out his eyes; and they
brought him down to Gaza, and bound him with fetters of brass; and he did grind in
the prison-house.
Without vision the people perish, the Lord had departed from Samson and not only
had he lost his vision in the physical, but he had lost it for his life also.
6. Way forward
Samson had lost everything.
He was alone.
He prayed to the lord to remember him and strengthen him.
The Lord had mercy on him and restored him and his hair grew back.
He regained his anointing and strength and defeated the Philistines.
What can we learn from this?
The road to spiritual wholeness starts with prayer and repentance.
Restoration from sin can take time as the circumstances of the choices we have
made may require
a lot of prayer.
When you are looking at physical pain that arises out of emotional wounding, that
comes through relationships, that produces a life style that imparts a belief system
that effects the way we think, feel and behave. We are unable to change just like
that; we have to look at coping mechanism, how we have coped with the pain. We
have to look at the substitutes we have put in place, we have to examine the
choices we have made, and in those areas restoration and healing are to be
understood as a process. However some people have come through that process
and are restored and healed.
We have to learn to wait upon the Lord.
We have seen how an ungodly relationship affected Samson, it ultimately destroyed
him. But he also regained Gods favour for his life.
Under the new covenant we are blessed because the blood of Christ cleanses us
from all sin, and that includes all manner of spiritual ties. But just as we have
learned
the associations we keep with people can effect Gods plan for our life we should
always prayerfully seek whom the Lord and what the Lord wants for our life.
To walk in wholeness is impossible with out the Lords guidance Mt 5:6 (KJV) Blessed
are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. We
need to hunger and thirst for a right standing in God.
We hear of people training their body i.e. going to the gym, walking etc.
And when you do it for the first time it hurts, you use muscles you thought you
never had. Its good to exercise Paul told Timothy it was of profit but what else did
he say?
1 Tim 4:8 (AMP) For physical training is of some value useful for a little, but
godliness spiritual training is useful and of value in every thing and in every way, for
it holds promise for the present life and also for the life which is to come.
For bodily exercise is of some value. The Greeks gave great attention to bodily
training. At Ephesus, where Timothy was, he could still see the remains of the
stadium where the athletes displayed their skill. We need to display the same
diligence in training for godliness. For the bodily exercise profits little, while the
godly training is profitable in all things. It makes you happier, more prosperous, and
healthier, and in addition it prepares you for the life to come.
Our spirits need to be trained also, and can be educated just as our minds are, and
be built up just like our body when we exercise.
But when we go into new things its hard just like physical training, and in some
instances even harder because we have to humble the flesh and quiet the soul.
Here are six rules in which the human spirit can be trained and developed.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
By
By
By
By
By
By
And after a while just like physical training you will begin to see results, but you
wont see anything until you go to the spiritual gym and keep going!
Because its through our spirit God communicates with us, not through our reasoning
or flesh.
Pr 20:27 The spirit of man is the candle of the LORD, searching all the inward parts
of the belly. (All the inward depths of his heart)
AMP: The spirit of man that factor in human personality, which proceeds
immediately from God, is the lamp of the Lord, searching all the innermost parts.
By this we know the Lord will enlighten us and guide us.
And our spirit will commune and be made alive with Gods Spirit.
Joh 14:16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that
he may abide with you for ever;17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot
receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he
dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. Gary Tillotson
http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/ungodly-soul-ties-gary-tillotson-sermon-onfriendship-new-friends-89482.asp