THE SCRIPT

1. (Interviewee knocking on the door 3x)

Knock, Knock, Knock.
2. Interviewer answering the door)
Come in
3. (Interviewee walks through the door)
Mornin
4. (interviewer waves hand in)
Sit down.
5. (interviewee sits down, slouching)
Aight, its bare comfy you know.
6. (interviewer confused)
Excuse me?
7. (Interviewee sits up)
My name is Malik Solomo.
8. Interviewer nice to meet you Mr Solomo, I will begin to ask you some
questions, are you ready?
9. (interviewee puts hoodie up)
Mans always ready.
10. (3 second pause)
11.Interviewer: okay, so why do you want this position as a cleaner in our
McDonald co-operation?
12.Interviewee: cuz mans fresh innit.
(Small laugh) Okay no but seriously Im broke out here, help a brother
out.
13.(Interviewer tilts head)
Do you have any work experience at least?
14.Interviewer: Basically, my mum makes me clean my room for pound but
at school I did work experience at McDonalds before and just jacked all
their straws cuz they were all over the place, couldnt stand the mess.

15.(interviewer stunned face)

You know thats a criminal offence right?
16.(Interviewee shrugs).

17.Interviewer: uhm (pause)

What do you know about the business?
18.Interviewee: Well, I only get the fish-o-fillet cause thats the only halal
option innit. You should definitely put that into consideration cause there
are a lot of Muslims round every corner, cant get away bruv!
19.(Interviewer concerned face)
I dont think youre ready for this job or any other job.
20.(Interviewee stretches the word MEAN)
What do you M-E-E-E-E-A-A-N-N-N? Im too sick at cleaning you know,
check this fresh hairline. Not a follicle out of place.
21.(Interviewer sarcastically)
Why dont you apply for a salon then?
22.Interviewee: Why do you ask so many questions, are you my girl? Just say
no more and hire me!
23.(interviewer shooting away)
I think its time for you to leave.
24.(Interviewee hurt expression)
Did you just reject me? I never get rejected, I do the rejection. Man dont
even want to work for you anyways.
25.(interviewer screaming for security)
SECURITY.
26.(Interviewee hands up)
All right, all right chill bruv. Its only McDonalds not that deep.
27.Interviewer: Are you even speaking in English?
28.Interviewee: what, jus cause I am brown, you think I cant speak English?
Are you calling me immigrant? Are you disrespecting my mother?
29.Interviewer: For the love of God, just leave.
30.(Interviewee gets up)
You beg. (slams the door)