Kyle Ali

What Do You See When You Look at Me?

I have a horrible habit of procrastinating. I find the most trouble with finding a starting
point and then focusing on that point for an extended period of time. Writing has never been my
strong suit. Im much better at making conversation than I am at writing, so I felt like that would
be a good way to approach the assignment. Over the summer I had been told to tell my life story
while hiking and I did it with ease, but having been asked to put those kinds of thoughts and
words is something that intimidates me. I honestly feel that I am most afraid of the permanence
of writing. No matter how good or bad it is there will always be a record of your writing. People
can forget about what was said but when its on paper it exists forever.

As I sit here writing this first paragraph a friend of mine walked into my room and told
me how bad I am at writing because Im taking so long. That basically sums up how I am as a
writer. Often times I find myself spending obscene amounts of time sitting and staring at my
computer screen, trying to figure out how I can reach the word count or page limit. Thats
something with which Ive always struggled. I like to be quick, clear, and concise. Ive never
been one to drag to use details that I didnt see as necessary, so this literacy narrative forces me
to open up and expand my horizons. To the best of my ability, I have to take you into my world
and show you how I became the person I am today. After finally getting my friend to leave I
realized that it was the perfect place to start. I saw it all unfold before me. My literacy narrative
could be like a journal that goes in chronological order. It will talk about who I am and where I
am today and then recount all the influences that helped me get here. A sort of quilt that takes the

different experiences in my life and pieces them together in order to make a final image, a much
bigger picture.
Upon reflecting on the person I am and how I got here a phrase comes to mind. It is a
portion of Lukes parable of the faithful servant, To whomever much is given, of him much will
be required; and to whom much was entrusted, of him more will be asked. I attribute my
success to the fact that so much has been given to me, but Ive always done my best to deliver on
what is expected to me. I boil it down to being given the necessary tools needed to succeed, but it
was up to me to appropriately utilize those tools as well as motivate myself to want whats best
for me. Everything that Ive done in the past has lead up to being a Levine Scholar. Being a
Levine Scholar made all the hard work worth it. I often sit and wonder what my life would be
like if I hadnt gotten the scholarship. I cant even fathom how different my experiences would
be. Thinking back on what it too to become a Levine makes me realize just how fortunate I really
am. How I became a Levine Scholar is quite an interesting story. There are so many small
moments and occurrences that I once thought were random and insignificant, but I now realize
that they led up to this point in my life. I can say that it all started with my mother. She is
undoubtedly the driving force behind my pursuit for higher education. For as long as I can
remember my mom has told me Every generation should do better than the last. It has been
something that I try to live by. I knew from a very young age that wanted to receive a full college
scholarship. My mother received a full scholarship to Fordham University for her undergraduate
studies and then attained numerous graduate degrees. This lead me to believe that in order to do
better than the last generation of my family I had to do the same. In middle school I thought that
lacrosse would be my way to get a college scholarship. A member of my church was played a
major role in my towns lacrosse program and he introduced me to the sport. I knew if I trained

hard enough and honed my skills as a player that there was a high probability I could receive a
scholarship to play. As I grew older I realized that the commitment and cost it would take to
reach a level where I could receive a full scholarship would greatly hinder the time I had to focus
on my academics. So I decided that I would continue to play, but simply for the love of the game.
I ended up being the captain of my high schools varsity lacrosse team my junior and senior year.
I also made All-State and was named the best defender in my conference. Being a captain taught
me how to be a leader both on and off the field and I have carry those valued skills with me
everywhere I go. Later on in high school I adopted a very happy-go-lucky disposition. I was still
focused on my future, but stopped stressing about minute details and things that were out of my
control. I only concerned myself with what I had control over. I believed that everything would
work out for the best because I understood that I possessed the ability to be successful no matter
where I went. Im blessed enough to say that Ive lead a very comfortable and privileged life. My
parents provided me with everything that could ever need and all they asked in return that stay
focused on my future, focused on creating the best life I can for myself. My education was their
main priority and it still is. While in high school my parents didnt mind giving me money when
I went out with friends because they trusted I would spend it wisely. Many of my friends had
jobs during the school year and had their own money to spend, but my parents said that my only
job was concentrating on finding academic success. They told that being a young African
American man in America meant that I had to work a little bit harder in order to be successful.
My parents also told that I always need to play to my strengths and I took that to heart. I
accepted that although I did very well in school, I wasnt one of someone with a high enough
GPA or test scores to get by on those alone. This did not deter me though because I knew that I
had much than that to offer. I focused on building relationships with the people who could assist

me in moving onward and upward in because half the battle is having the right connections. I
also pursued many extracurricular activities that would help strengthen my resume.
My six-word narrative: Im comfortable being the only one. I chose those words because
they most accurately describe who I am. For most of my life, Ive been the only one and by that I
mean Ive been one of the only people of color. It was never something that bothered me, but
something that has always been. Its even seen in this UWRT 1104 class. It has had a lasting
impact on my life, but it doesnt define who I am. I am logical. All my moves are calculated. I
understand that acting on impulse rarely ends well that I need to constantly be aware of thing I
can and cant do or say. I remember the stares I would get when I should up to practice for my
club lacrosse team. There would be grown men and women awkwardly staring at me as I walked
through the door as if I was somehow out of place. I became very self-aware that I was different
than the people I spent the majority of my time with, but I learned to use it to my advantage. I
eventually understood that being unique was okay. Being the odd man out was a part of my
reality. I was a zero among ones and my differences are what made me appeal to others. From
the varying ways I speak to the varying ways I dress, I found my place in every crowd. As I
spend the next four years at UNC Charlotte I know that I will continue to find my place, but I
also hope that I can find myself.