California Writers Club

Newsletter of the
Berkeley Branch,
Write Angles 2009
a y
M

Ray Faraday Nelson,

author, cartoonist,
ex-President and life member
of the Berkeley Branch
and inventor of the propeller beanie.
 A MANY-SIDED TALENT:
Table of Contents
TALKING ABOUT WRITING
A Many-Sided Talent:
Seeing your writing in print is an experience to
Talking About Writing
David Baker 1 treasure. How about seeing it published in more than
one category? Janis Cooke Newman, our featured
The View From the Helm speaker for the May 16 meeting, has been published
AL Levenson 2
in threehistorical fiction, memoir, and travel
Guidelines for the writing.
July and August Newman constructed Mary, a novel written in
Write Angles 2
the first person, from notes composed by Mary Todd
Member News Lincoln when the assassinated presidents wife was
Anne Fox 3 confined in a lunatic asylum. Portrayed as a protofeminist, Mary seduces the
sexually repressed Lincoln, nudges him along in his career, and alerts him to
Mary: Mrs. A. Lincoln,
A Novel by the issue of slavery. She is passionate, compulsive and, later, grief- stricken
Janis Cooke Newman 4 but perfectly sane. Her story, as told by Newman, became a Bay Area
Bestseller and was chosen as USA Todays Best Historical Fiction of the Year.
Prevailing Winds 4
The Russian Word for Snow is Newmans compelling memoir about
The 23rd Annual Fifth-Grade adopting her son from a Moscow orphanage just before Russias first
Writing Contest democratic election. She and her husband engaged in a six-month struggle
Lucille Bellucci 5 against a ponderous bureaucracy to bring the boy to the United States.
Tidbits 5 Pressuring, cajoling, and bribing their intermediaries, as political fortunes
shifted and anti-American sentiment ebbed and flowed, they knew elation and
Make Sense! despair.
Ray Malus 6
Newmans writing can be found in numerous anthologies, including
Fiction Faults by Ray Nelson, Secret Lives of Lawfully-Wedded Wives. Her travel articles have appeared in
Part One 7 the Los Angeles Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, and many other
newspapers, as well as in Backpacker and Country Living magazines, and
The Chameleon in Grammar
Janis Bell 8 online at Salon.com.
With such a broad range of experience, Newman knows how to coach
A Sympathetic other writers, which she does at Creative Caffeine, her online workshop, and
Character Struggles
through classes she holds in San Francisco. Shell be coaching us at the May
AL Levenson 9
16 meeting, so come prepared with questions. All genres are welcome.

- David Baker

May Meeting:
Cover Photo Series:
Saturday, May 16, 2009.
Distinguished Writers
Social Hour: 9:30 a.m. - 10:30 a.m.
of California
Meeting and Program: 10:30 a.m. - Noon
Self-Portrait, Event Loft, Barnes & Noble Book Store
Ray Faraday Nelson Jack London Square, Oakland.

May 2009 Write Angles 1


Guidelines for the
July and August
Write Angles
Open to members of the
Berkeley Branch only.
Short pieces of fiction,
350-1000 words.
Poetry to 175 words.
Photographs and cartoons.
All topics.
No porn or gratuitous
violence.
Prior publication OK,
with citation.
Electronic submissions only
to Writeangles@Gmail.com.
In the subject line, write Story
Enclosed. Deadline for July
issue is June 10; for August
issue, July 10. Receipt of
stories will be acknowledged.
May 2009
The View From the Helm
We are coming up on two annual cycles
elections of officers and membership renewals.
It seems a good time to report on the state of the
Branch.
At the April board of directors meeting,
treasurer Ken Frazer reported a bank balance of
$3475.98. None of the costs of the Fifth-Grade
Writing Contest have been submitted, but even after
setting aside the projected expenses, our balance is healthy at over $2000.
Ken also submitted a budget for our next fiscal year.
The Berkeley Branch operates frugally. We pay no rent for any of
our meeting spaces. Our primary income is from membership dues, 55
percent of which leaves the Branch and goes to the statewide California
Writers Club. Our largest expense is the subsidy of our flagship activity, the
Fifth-Grade Writing Contest; yet we operate within our income.
Next year we will institute another ambitious program, The West
Side Writing Contest and Chapbook. We predict well need to subsidize
about $600 of this event in its first year. By providing another activity to
current members, another attraction to new members, the subsidy is an
investment in the future of the Branch.
Twenty-five members joined within the last year. Branch
membership stands at 82, including five Life Members and five Emeritus
members.
At our May meeting the board will propose a slate of officers for
next year. Has the time come for you to be proactive helping the branch
to function? Please contact any board member to become a candidate for
nomination. If you believe someone would be an asset to the board but is
too bashful to step forward, please persuade that person to contact the board.
Elections will take place at the June meeting.
Memberships expire at the end of June. In the next Write Angles we
will commence our drive for renewals.
As a reminder, the Berkeley Branch is the only Branch that will
publish its newsletter over the summer. The July and August
issues will be devoted entirely to the creative writing of Branch
members. Submission guidelines are in the left column of this page.
And that is the view from the helm this month.
- AL Levenson, President
Write Angles 2
 Member News
On Saturday, April 11, Bay Area News Group featured Laura Shumakers first-person essay, Her Rain
Man brings out best in others, in their newspapers Real Life column, which appeared in the Home & Garden
section. (Essay contact person is Lisa Wrenn, lwrenn@bayareanewsgroup.com) Laura, our Program Chairperson, is
the author of A Regular Guy: Growing Up With Autism (2008).
September 2008
You can hear the interview of JoAnn Smith Ainsworth by Cat Johnson (All Romance eBooks) on
blogtalkradio.com/Whats-Hot-In-Romance. (Registration may be necessary.) JoAnns April 4 book signing sold out
all copies of her novel Out of the Dark. Another signing was scheduled for April 8 in Sacramento. You can network
with JoAnn on Facebook and Twitter.

Late-breaking news about Risa Nye, a co-author of Writin on Empty. In addition to receiving honorable
mention in an essay contest sponsored by Skirt! Magazine, via WOW! Women on Writing, she also received from
WOW! a collection of books and a hand-written note. Nice acknowledgment for her essay, Making a Home From
Scratch.

On a humorous note, Tina Marie Stinnett wins 1st place in actress/author Mariel Hemingways Write My
Cartoon Caption contest, an online contest promoting the release of Hemingways new holistic cookbook, Mariels
Kitchen: Simple Ingredients for a Delicious and Satisfying Life.

Ken Frazer reports the great news that Sarah Sweeney, a winner in our Fifth-Grade Writing Contest last year,
has gone on to win first place in the Diablo Branchs Sixth-Grade Writing Contest. Definitely Sail On! events.

Using language with his customary originality, W. E. Reinka expounds in an unexpected and tantalizing way
on the word published in his essay Prepublished, which appeared in the March 2009 issue of Art Times (a literary
journal and resource for all the arts, arttimesjournal.com).

Another feather in the cap of Tatjana Greiner. She has been selected as one of the judges on this years
Armenian Allied Arts Association Literature Competition (armenianalliedarts.org).

Therese Pipe sent copies of two covers of books to Allene Symons for the CWC display at UCLAs Festival
of Books. One was of Lorna De Sosas book of poetry, Who Turned the Grass On; the other, of Fred Cody Award
Winner Dorothy Bryants oral history, of which Therese was managing editor.

With sadness, we announce the recent death of Lorna De Sosa, long-time CWC member. Lorna died on April
17 at the age of 95. A Memorial Mass was planned for April 24. Our heartfelt condolences to Lornas family.

Attention, Members: Every month our Member News column proves that getting published or winning a contest
depends on sending out your writing. Nothing magic about that. Extract that document from your desk drawer or
from the bowels of your computer. Give yourself a chance to get the attention of agents and editors looking for
something fresh, and keep us posted about your efforts. Consider the following grist to inspire CWC members: a
letter to the editor, a filler, a puzzle, fiction, nonfiction, jokes, a book review, greeting cards, screen play, making a
film, winning in a contest, appearing in an interview. Please send the memorable news to Anne Fox,
writefox@aol.com.

May 2009 Write Angles 3

 Mary: Mrs. A. Lincoln,
a Novel by Janis Cooke Newman
Abraham Lincoln stood so tall he
could look into the top of the beanstalk
without ever leaving the ground. Everyone
in Lincolns life was a bit player. Those who
remember Mary Todd
Lincoln dismiss her as the
crazy woman Abe was
married to. But not Janis
Cooke Newman, a Marin
writer who believed Mary
Lincolns story was worth
three years of her
writing life. I, for one, am glad Janis made
the investment. Mary stands alone as the best
book I read in 2008.
Janis read from the book at the 2008
Squaw Valley Writers Conference. For her
reading she chose the only sex scene in the
book. Not very juicy as sex scenes go. I
wondered if the choice was a shameless
marketing ploy.
I buy books that I am unsure about as
a way to be a patron of the arts on the cheap.
My uncertainty left after only a few pages
into the book when the deft hand of the
author was clear.
Six hundred twenty pages flew by.
From youth to old age, told in the first person
(what a challenge that must have been),
historical fiction written in the best manner
of a memoir style of today. Awesome.
- AL Levenson
May 2009
PREVAILING WINDS
Tweet-Tweet
The California Writers Club is now on Twitter.
Follow us at twitter.com/CalWritersClub.
31 Flavors Summer Essay Issue
East Bay Monthly is now accepting short essays (900
words maximum) for possible publication in the July
issue. Use 31 flavors as a theme or as a jumping-off
point for your writing, and see where your creative mind
takes you. To submit, paste the essay into your email to
editorial@themonthly.com and attach as a Word
document. Deadline: May 14, 2009.
These can be fun to try!
- Risa Nye
WestSide Story Contest
The WestSide Story contest for short fiction is now
in its fifth year. This year the Berkeley Branch of the
California Writers Club has taken over the sponsorship
of the contest. Tatjana Greiner, contest founder and BB
member, will continue to serve as editor-in-chief.
In past years the contest has drawn entries from all
over the world. This year the contest will award $400 in
cash prizes. The Berkeley Branch will publish a chapbook
of the three stories winning cash prizes as well as the
stories receiving honorable mention.
All club members and everyone who submits a
story will receive a chapbook.
The submission window opens June 1. Detailed
guidelines will appear in the June Write Angles.
Abreviated guidelines: fiction only; 2200 words max; $11
entry fee. Help us publicize the contest and your club to
nonmembers.
- AL Levenson
Write Angles 4
 THE 23rd ANNUAL FIFTH-GRADE WRITING CONTEST

On Saturday, May 23, at 10:30 a.m., California Writers Club, Berkeley

Branch, will celebrate at Barnes & Noble the achievements of the fifth-grade
participants in our annual writing contest. The response to the contest this year
topped 280 entries, and their variety continues to be entertaining. Many of the
stories demonstrate surprisingly mature effort. We have not seen for a long time
a story as cheeky as the one about frying slugs and serving them up on toast, or
about playing a ball game using a watermelon.
As always, youngsters reflect the times surrounding them. Are kids
growing up faster? Are current economic tensions forcing that growth? Is
writing stories a way for them to express their worries? It would seem to be the case. One of my readers alerted
me to a story that was somewhat disturbing. I left a message with the teacher to call me back for a discussion.
This being the 100th Anniversary of the California Writers Clubs founding, the Berkeley Branch, along
with sister branches, are launching several promotions to celebrate the event on radio and television. Under the
guidance of Linda Brown, our PR Chair, the Fifth-Grade Contest will be highlighted as the Berkeley Branchs
ongoing community-service project.
The Berkeley Branch will benefit from another enterprise in that our host, the Barnes & Noble
Bookstore, will be donating 20 percent of their book-sale proceeds to the club on May 23, the day of the
Awards Ceremony.
We expect the first-, second-, and third-place winners to attend, as well as the 12 fourth-place winners.
Their families and teachers will be present as the students read their stories. So come to meet and mingle with
them. We might be recruiting new members for the CWC in the future.
Again I thank my valiant readers, Betsy Hess-Behrens, Janice Armigo Brown, Ken Frazer, Sasha Fu-
tran, Willie and Manuel Rose, and Stan Sciortino, for their input as judges this year.

- Lucille Bellucci,
Chairman of the Fifth-Grade
Writing Contest

Tidbits
Web Sites for Writers
The Writers Network News
writers-free-reference.com
WordHustler.com
Clear Writing with Mr. Clarity
wsu.edu/~brians/errors/index.html

May 2009 Write Angles 5

 Make Sense!
We experience life through our sensessight, sound, taste, smell, touch; and through emotional reactionjoy,
fear, pleasure, anger, revulsion, love, et. al. For me, the aim of writing is to evoke these emotions. But how can this be
done if reaction is tied to sense stimulus? The answer is simple: through the use of imagery.
As writers, we are all aware of this. The reader reads an image and experiences the same reaction as if s/he
had experienced the event. (Note: s/he is my concession to the P.C. polices insistence on he or she. Feel free to use
it or ridicule it. I find it convenient.) This reaction to imagery can be as strong or stronger than the reaction to a real
event, depending on the choice and vividness of the image, and can involve any sense.
Once reading is fluent, it doesnt seem to matter much whether the brain gets the images
through the senses or through reading about them. They enter and are processed in much
the same way.
Most fledgling writers focus on sight images, describing events visually:
The dog walked into the room.
This describes the event, but the reaction is limited. As writers mature, they start to include other sense images:
The clacking of dog claws on the hardwood floor pricked my attention. The dog ambled into the room. He
moseyed insolently over to me and snuffled his snout into my lap. His warm nose belied the pungent odor of wet fur
that rose from him. I reached down and let my fingers dig through his dank coat, feeling his warm body within. The
world was better.
Not only does this involve more of the senses, but the adjectives and verbs cue the desired emotional
responses. A dog could be a pet or a guard animal. But vicious pit bulls dont amble or mosey; they stalk and prowl.
Pets amble.
A pitfall here is to write vividly but not verbosely. Weve all heard, A picture is worth a thousand words. But
its also true that The right word is worth a thousand pictures.
Look back over literary styles. Our collective attention span is shrinking. Everything is getting shorter: books,
chapters, stories, sentences, words. Writing needs to be distilled, concentrated.
So, how to strike a good balance between tepid writing and arduous writing. The answer has to do with the
senses again.
If I were to ask you which sense is most important in reading, you would probably answer sight. But most
paragraphs are about as visually interesting as bricks in a wall. I think that hearing is the real key.
As we read, our minds ear acts as a gatekeeper. If it is comfortable with what were reading, it passes it on
to the mind with no comment. But let it be jarred, and the process stops until it is comfortable.
So, one of the best keys to successful writing is reading your work aloud. If you cant read at open mikes, read
aloud to yourself. Youll discover ungraceful passages, unfocused images, weak plot points. Youll be amazed at what
you think you wrote but didnt, and what you did write but didnt mean to.
- Ray Malus
Make Sense is reprinted with permission from Ray Malus. The article originally appeared in In Focus, the
newsletter of the West Valley Branch of CWC, which meets in Woodland Hills.
Although he writes commentary, short stories, and poetry, Ray Malus is primarily a playwright. Hes
fascinated by character and dialog. Hes had six plays produced in Southern California. Asked his favorite, he
grins and says, The next.
Ray welcomes correspondence from other writers at raysplays@roadrunner.com

May 2009 Write Angles 6

 Fiction Faults by Ray Nelson, Part One
IN THE BEGINNING, I DO NOT LIKE:
Premature flashbacks.
Suggestion: Dont tell me about the past until I am worried about the Present.
Action or dialogue in a vacuum.
Suggestion: In the opening paragraph unobtrusively tell me where we are, whether indoors or outdoors, the location
of people and important objects, particularly doorways, windows, stairways, furniture which will be used, important
props, etc., and most vital of all, how the scene is lit.
Characters I cant visualize.
Suggestion: Immediately after each characters entrance, begin telling me his or her age, sex, social class, major
mannerisms, race, physical type, etc., feeding me everything in little bits, not all at once. And make sure I know, at
least in a general way, how the character is dressed.
Narration in the present tense.
Suggestion: Though some modern writers use it, they pay for it in obtrusiveness. Stick to the simple past tense unless
you have a very good reason not to.

IN THE MIDDLE, I DO NOT LIKE:

An inconsistent emotional tone.
Suggestion: If you have begun in a comic mood, continue in a comic mood. If in a fearful mood, grow more fear-
ful; if in a tragic, remain tragic. A touch of contrasting emotions is all you can allow yourself, never a total change of
tone.
Missed opportunities.
Suggestion: Make good on every implied promise you have made the reader, and let the big
scenes take place on-stage, not off stage or after the story ends.
Showers of trivia.
Suggestion: Determine the point of the story, then ruthlessly cut what is not relevant.

AT THE END I DO NOT LIKE:

The Little Nemo ending, in which it turns out It was all a dream.
Suggestion: The reader has been kind enough to suspend disbelief. Dont tell him he neednt have bothered.
The Paper Tiger ending in which we learn It was all a misunderstanding, He wasnt really murdered, etc.
Suggestion: Surprise me by giving me more than I expect, not less.
The unresolved ending.
Suggestion: Tell me frankly if your protagonist wins or loses or draws, or what the solutions are to your puzzles or
mysteries, if any.
A Protagonist who ends in apathy, suicide or insanity.
Suggestion: There are so many ways someone can solve his problems theres no excuse for these arty clich
non-solutions
A false surprise ending.
Suggestion: Early in the story, plant enough information so a few really alert readers may guess the ending, and the
others will kick themselves for not guessing it.

Ray Nelson joined the Berkeley Branch in the early 60s. He is a Life Member of the Branch and served as its
president for many years. Next month, Fiction Faults, Part Two, from Ray.

May 2009 Write Angles 7

 The Chameleon in Grammar

Why is it that Americans remember what an adjective is yet cant define other parts of speech? Not that
we need to, actually, unless were learning a foreign language. Still, its odd. Ask anyone what an adjective is, and
youll get an answer. Ask anyone what another part of speech is, and youre likely to get a nice long silence in
which to plot your next short story.
The other day a student of mine called to ask me what an adverb is. I said that its usually a word
ending in ly that describes a verbas in learns quickly or speaks slowly. He then asked whether all ad-
verbs end in ly, and I said, No. Consider well, as in writes well, or fast, as in think fast. In case he was
starting to get it, I added that not all descriptive words ending in ly are adverbs, either: weve got adjec-
tives, like curly, surly, and ugly, hanging around on corners, trying to look like slick. Like adverbs.
What about just, my student asked. Is that an adverb? I hadnt thought about just recently, so
I put it in front of a verb to see whether it workedjust say no, just improvise, just do it. Yes, I said, its
an adverb. Then I thought of just beautiful. An adverb, I had to tell him, can also describe an adjec-
tive: just perfect, just delicious, just enough.
My student, for some reason, hung up. Yet my mind continued to roll. Just splendidly, just dessertsthe
little four-letter word can be an adverb before another adverb or an adjective before a noun. Just isnt any one part
of speech. Its a chameleon! It can travel across a sentence, change colors at every stop, and affect a writers
meaning. Take a look at just doing, well, just that:

Just Quakers waste time thinking about oatmeal.

Quakers just waste time thinking about oatmeal.
Quakers waste just time thinking about oatmeal.
Quakers waste time just thinking about oatmeal.
Quakers waste time thinking just about oatmeal.

So whats the role that just plays? It all depends on where you find it. Look to the rightif a verb,
adjective, or adverb is coming up, just is an adverb. If a noun, pronoun, or noun substitute is coming up, just is an
adjective.
Now, what the heck is a noun substitute? Something less caloric than a noun? A person, place, or thing that
kids give no respect to?
Time to plot your next short story.

- Janis Bell

Janis Bell is the author of Clean, Well-lighted Sentences, A Guide to Avoiding the Most Common Errors in
Grammar and Punctuation. An English professor and writing consultant in San Francisco, shes been teaching
writing in schools and businesses for over three decades. You can contact her at janisbell.com.

May 2009 Write Angles 8

 A sympathetic
character struggles
against overwhelming
odds to achieve a
worthwhile goal.
I have this elegant formula on an index card push-pinned on the cork board at my writing
desk. From a writers magazine of decades past, this deceptively simple plot outline describes many
of the great novels and stories of all time.
Watching Susan Boyle on YouTube, I was struck by how perfectly her story interprets the
writing recipe. youtube.com/watch?v=9z0h1NNk1Ik.
In an April week, thirty million people watched a four-minute narrative arc that had
everything: A plain woman, a simple dream, an unsympathetic audience, an enormous talent, a
stunning triumph.
Susan, looking ever so much like a sacrificial lamb selected by the pseudo-tastemakers for one
of the humiliation-based TV shows, came on the Britains Got Talent show. At 47 and
never-been-kissed, she wants to be a professional singer. The panel of judges led the audience in a
couple of minutes of snickering and eye-rolling before Susan sang I Dreamed a Dream. Twenty
seconds after the first notes, she owned the audience. She sang for two more minutes to continuous
applause from an audience that was on their feet. Her performance was emotional for the audience and
the artist alikesomething every writer I know yearns for.
Once again I am reminded of the basic elements of story.
When I study the comments of my critique group that are of the why-doesnt-the-story-work
variety, I hold the comments up against the maxim on the index card. Is my hero uninspiring? Is his
conflict minor, his challenge lame? Is his achievement unremarkable? Is his goal insignificant?
If my recipe misses one of these ingredients, I have a cake that wont bake.

- AL Levenson

May 2009 Write Angles 9

 Berkeley Branch Officers
President: AL Levenson
Vice President: Dave Sawle
Secretary: Ken Frazer
Treasurer: Carlene Cole
Program: Laura Shumaker
Membership: OPEN
Childrens Contest: Lucille Bellucci
Newsletter Editor: AL Levenson
Copyeditor: Anne Fox
Publicity: Linda Brown
Webmaster: Stan Sciortino
Delegate to Central Board: Linda Brown
Co-Publishing Committee: Anjuelle Floyd

Oakland, CA 94614
The CALIFORNIA WRITERS CLUB is dedicated to educating members and the public-at-large
in the craft of writing and in the marketing of their work. For more information, visit our Web site

P.O. Box 15014

at www.berkeleywritersclub.org.
Copyright 2009 by the California Writers Club, Berkeley Branch. All rights reserved. Write
Angles is published 10 times a year (September - June) by the California Writers Club, Berkeley
Branch on behalf of its members. CWC assumes no legal liability or responsibility for the
accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information, process, product, method or policy
described in this newsletter.