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Nathan Mai
Matt Wilson
Writing 2 Section 2000
7 December 2016
Portfolio WP2
A blow to the head or the shaking of the brain is often the causes of concussions.
Previously, concussions were not seen as a serious concern as symptoms would subside within a
few days. However, recently found evidence revealed that concussions are not short-term, but
raise the risk for memory problems and neurocognitive deficits. This brings up the question of
how the epidemic of concussions can be reduced. This reduction comes from the attempts of
numerous academic disciplines, each having their own discourse communities with common
goals and methods to meet these goals. I will evaluate how the objectives of a statistical peerreviewed article and a law monograph, concerning the reduction of concussions, affect the
conventions employed in the works to achieve their said goals.
Before determining how the researchers of a statistical study, Concussions Among
United States High School and Collegiate Athletes, achieve their goal, we must determine what
their actual objective is first. Many statistical research studies will include an abstract, which is
where the objective of the study can be found. The statistical papers objective is, To investigate
the epidemiology of concussions in a nationally representative sample of high school athletes
and to compare rates of concussion among high school and collegiate athletes, (Gessel et al).
By deciding what the objective is first, the researchers can set-up the rest of the study to achieve
this objective and to avoid finding unnecessary evidence and analysis.

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The relevance of the objective in the statistical study on concussions can be figured out
by determining who the audience is. On statement points to a specific audience when the study
states, By identifying patterns that could predict concussions, we may be able to reduce
concussion rates through targeted, evidence-based interventions. We does not just encompass
the statisticians conducting the study, but also targets an audience that is interested in using this
data to create or support methods of preventing concussions such as engineers, other researchers,
or policy makers. Allowing for the audience to have access to this information would be the
most effective usage of it. Because the goals of the statistical study are relevant to the audience,
the statistical discourse community also requires that the audience understands terminology
specific to statistics such as chi-squared tests, confidence intervals, and proportion ratios.
The objective of having to find patterns and rates of concussions points to the method of
having to use numerical evidence. This statistical study grabbed data from, 2 injury surveillance
systems, High School Reporting Information Online (RIO) and the National Collegiate Athletic
Association Injury Surveillance System (Gessel et al). After collecting this data, they used
these numbers in calculating chi-squared tests and confidence intervals. Throughout the study,
researchers conducted multiple tests for a multitude of sports and potential causes. It is
necessary for a statistical study to leave no doubt due to a lack of evidence. This numerical
evidence is appropriate for the goal of finding patterns which helps the audience apply that
evidence in their own research or applications for the reduction of concussions.
The monograph, The NCAA Needs Smelling Salts When It Comes to Concussion
Regulation in Major College Athletic, similarly states its objective in an abstract. The
monographs objective is to evaluate the efforts of other sports leagues -fom the NFL to youth
leagues to the Ivy League - to implement concussion management plans and devote funds to

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studying the cognitive effects of multiple head injuries (Reilly 244). The objective here is to
advocate for policy changes, which will guide the rest of the monographs approach towards
reducing concussions. Rather than focusing on the numerical aspects of concussions, as seen in
the statistics discipline, the law discipline focuses on providing arguments and analysis in
attempts to alleviate the epidemic of concussions.
To identify the audience, we can look at language and effects of the objective. The law
monograph contains high level vocabulary that is catered to a higher educated audience.
Specifically, the terminology relating to the law such as regulation, policy, and legislation
point to an audience within the same discipline of law. The monograph points to an audience
that is related to the law discipline when it says that the monograph, concludes that the NCAA
has failed to provide proper regulation in this area of collegiate athletics, and urges the federal
courts to mandate change, (246). The objective of the monograph is to evaluate the efforts of
regulation of concussions, but the entire purpose of doing that is to persuade the NCAA in fixing
their policies to better accommodate regulation plans. The audiences role in this monograph is
to consider and evaluate the arguments made about policy change. The monograph must
establish authority and have higher level diction to appeal and convince their targeted audience,
which would be the policy makers.
To be successful in persuading for policy changes regarding concussion regulation, the
monograph must provide sufficient evidence. For argumentative law writings, evidence is
generally chosen from other sources. The main focus of the law discipline and the discourse
community is to work with and fix policies, rather than being preoccupied with conducting their
own experiments and surveys. The claim that, Despite the results of contemporary research,
congressional investigation, activism, and general demandthe NCAA has been slow to

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implement a comprehensive concussion policy, is backed up by a footnote referencing to an

NCAA regulations policy, another source, showing the NCAAs lackluster attempts in reducing
concussions using management plans (274). Rather than having definitive numbers that cant be
argued against, the writer in this monograph provides an arguable claim that an NCAA policy, is
too easy to satisfy without attending to the underlying concern of preventing concussions and
minimizing head trauma (Reilly 275). Analysis in the law discipline is effective when targeted
to an audience that has the power to influence change.
Within the disciplines of statistics and law, we see that each of the disciplines have their
own unique objectives and their own methods of achieving those objectives. For example, the
statistical study used numerical data and analysis to find patterns and rates, while the law
discipline used argumentative analysis to influence policy changes in the NCAA regarding
concussions. Despite having different goals and objectives, the disciplines were both able to use
their own specific discourse communitys goals to contribute to the overall goal of preventing
concussions. Even though disciplines may have their own set objectives, they can still apply
those objectives to an overall shared goal.

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Works Cited
Gessel, Luke M., Sarah K. Fields, Christy L. Collins, Randall W. Dick, and R. Dawn Comstock.
"Concussions Among United States High School and Collegiate Athletes." Journal of Athletic
Training. National Athletic Trainers Association, 2007. Web. 07 Nov. 2016.

Reilly, Cailyn M. "The NCAA Needs Smelling Salts When It Comes to Concussion Regulation in
Major College Athletics." The NCAA Needs Smelling Salts When It Comes to Concussion
Regulation in Major College Athletics, 2012.